f13.net forums - Splinter Cell Conviction

I always thought this series was overrated as hell. It was Lightbulb Target Sim 200x, had a plot of equal inscrutability to MGS's only with less awkward dialog and giant robots, and Sam was probably the blandest "badass" of the XBox/PS2 era. Just be aware of this since I'm going to bash the shit out of this game despite declaring it fun and worth any amount under $10.

I threw $6 at it during the Steam summer sale and didn't expect much. The double-layer of Ubisoft u-play DRM didn't help matters either; punching in two different content subscription systems to play one game is retarded.

Surprise surprise: it's actually fun.

Of course the plot is utterly inscrutable with triple-double backstabs and flashforwards within flashbacks and hilariously bad dialog. The narration between levels has such hack writing I swear to god they actually got Tom Clancy to write it; think Max Payne only unironic and without the whimsy. The only thing you need to know is that it's a shitty episode of 24; where Splinter Cell's writing team desperately tries to remind us that they did 24 before Fox did 24 and convinced Americans that torture works and is both morally okay and thrilling. Sam, who is still ripped despite being like 70 years old by the time this game takes place grunts and yells about his dead daughter as he kills or savagely beats everyone for 50 square miles. The gameplay is a lot better paced than the previous titles I've played; there's less silly parkour wall splits and shooting 300 lightbulbs so you can squat in a corner waiting for patrols to pass by. Instead you skulk around with a very smooth cover system; Conviction may be the only cover-based shooter where cover-transition is genuinely useful. It's actually pretty intense darting from cover to cover so you can deliver melee kills to get the ability to "execute", which lets you tag a number of enemies dependent on your weapon which you can then instakill with bullettime headshots. You can actually create multiple genuinely cool moments like crashing through a skylight onto an enemy then smoothly headshotting his two buddies, or kicking a door open to jack 2 guys with a shotgun, take a hostage, shoot another guy in the head, then throw the hostage out a window. It just feels good when you do it right, as opposed to the boredom I experienced in the old games shooting out every lightbulb in a building so I can walk by guards or just shoot everyone in the head as they quizzically peer at the broken glass.

Of course you can do that in Conviction too; the AI is incredibly inconsistent. They'll either be absolutely hawk-eyed and capable of eyesocketing you with a shotgun from 50 yards or so blind you practically have to put your tongue in their mouths before they notice your presence. There's a fairly cool gimmick where when you go out of the enemy's line of sight a white silhouette appears to indicate where the AI "thinks" you are. The thing is though it's more like a holoduke than a window into the AI's mind; they'll walk up to your shadow, stare at it, and continue to fire into it even when they "see" that you're obviously not there. The AI is also totally flummoxed by Sam's ability to hang off of ledges. You can start a comical pile of bodies by hanging outside a window or ledge and popping off a round or two to keep guards funneling into Sam's grip of death...or you can just hang over a ledge in front of a door or archway and plug everyone in the head as they obediently file in one by one. It's a lot less fun than doing it "right" however. The game also features "interrogation" scenes where you get to beat information out of suspects. These always take place in areas with very obviously placed objects that scream, "man, it sure would smart if you slammed someone's head into this!" and Sam lovingly obliges when you press the button in front of them. That's it though really, you just get to pick how you beat info out of people and if you're specially ~~American~~ savage about it you get more points for upgrading your weapons.

There's also a full-on separate coop campaign, and some interesting takes on multiplayer. I haven't dabbled in those enough however to form an opinion.

Verdict: If you can get this game for $10 or less you'll be rather satisfied with the purchase. It doesn't have enough replay value to warrant much more than that however since it's not terribly long and forces you to deal with a second DRM system.