Conan The Barbarian 3D

[Mrbloodworth]

www.conanthebarbarianin3d.com

Going by the trailer, looks like the original is superior.

[Lakov_Sanite]

The bad CG really took me out of it.

[Yegolev]

I didn't see Conan in that trailer, does he come in later?

[WindupAtheist]

My hopes dropped as soon as I heard the "hardcore" guitar and drums. But yeah come on, the dude is stepping into one of Arnold's signature roles. They should have been putting roids in this guy's Wheaties every morning. He looks less like Conan of Cimmeria and more like the Hawaiian version of Kevin Sorbo's Hercules.

I love the hell out of the original, but I just don't have a good feeling here. Part of the appeal of the original was that it embraced lurid barbarian movie stuff like gore and decapitations and gratuitous slavegirl tits and cannibalism. The other part was that, despite all this, the movie refused to take itself with anything but complete and utter seriousness.

This? This is going to be a PG-13 movie in spirit if not in fact. Maybe if they're going for R they throw a little extra violence and a couple of boob shots in, but nothing there makes me think this movie is going to dig deep into it's pulpy exploitative tits-and-snakes roots and dare the audience to follow, the way the first one did. It's never going to have enough confidence in itself to deliver a "Cwom, I have nevuh pwayed to you befowah!" moment with stonefaced chorus-swelling sincerity.

[Velorath]

Give me an HBO series (or a Starz one done by the Spartacus people) based on REH's stories.  Not shit like this.

[Tannhauser]

Except Conan was not muscle-bound like Arnie.  Conan was lean and sinewy like a panther. 

What a barbarian and a panther may look like.



Oh yeah, the Beastmaster, goddamn right I went there!

[Chimpy]

Dude, cameo appearances by Codo and Podo crawling around in Tanya Roberts' leather brassiere could not make me interested in this version of Conan. (to keep with the Beastmaster line of thought)

Why do they have to keep "rebooting" movies that were fine the way they were?

[Slyfeind]

Honestly I'm fine with more Conan, as long as it's about Conan, and not weird shit like this.

Man, honestly, the Conan trailer bores me. They somehow made Conan boring. OMGAH!

[Surlyboi]

I wonder if he'll have to button-mash to get his combos in right as he drives his enemies forward and listens to the lamentations of their women.

[Mrbloodworth]

Its looked more like Prince of Persia than Conan. 

[Sand]

When he said "I will follow you to hell" I really believed him, I mean the acting was so superb. 


Did anyone else notice that in some shots he looked ripped and mean, and in other shots he looked skinny and pretty boy like the prince of persia?
CGI muscles?

[Arthur_Parker]

Might be ok, you can't really tell shit from trailers.

[devildog]

No Arnold, half the 300 cast look more like Conan than this guy. Really? You knew this role was coming and they didn't give you ample time to pack on 30 pounds or so for this? I guess next we'll have hollywood dumping the cgi on the hulk and casting this guy with green paint.

[Mrbloodworth]

The actor playing Conan is not a toothpick.

[Engels]

First reaction from me is that Conan should never look like the cover of a romance novel. Secondly, I'm not sure Conan should have an English accent.

[HaemishM]

Meh, I liked the trailer.

[Ingmar]

First reaction from me is that Conan should never look like the cover of a romance novel. Secondly, I'm not sure Conan should have an English accent.

He sounds surfer Californian to me (in the few words he says). Which is only an appropriate accent for Conan's sidekick. 

[KallDrexx]

Didn't finish the trailer.  Holy mother of god that is one of the most annoying websites I have been too in a long time, and trying to focus on the tiny trailer area while the clouds kept moving made my head hurt.

[DraconianOne]

First reaction from me is that Conan should never look like the cover of a romance novel.

Don't know why not - most Conan stories read like the cover of fantasy romance novels as if they're written for boys. As already mentioned, he's regularly described as being lean and strong and so good looking that women would throw themselves at his feet, like Bêlit, Queen of the Black Coast.

Also, REH described Conan as being the double in body to another of his characters, Cormac Fitzgeoffrey; and he described him in "Hawks of Outremer" as being a little over 6 foot and 200 pounds of muscle. Jason Momoa is 6'4" and 210 lbs (according to http://www.e-hawaii.com/stars/jason-momoa)

Why do I care? I don't - and I hate the fact that I've just looked up this blokes height and weight.

Anyway, I'll watch this. It looks suitably pulp (appropriate given the source material) and while I really like the first Arnie film, I'd be lying if I didn't also think it was as cheesy as hell.

[Ingmar]

The issue is that the production values aren't going to compare to the original I suspect. Say what you will about the plot and acting, but basically almost everything else about the original movie is crafted wonderfully - music, cinematography, etc. Even the giant rubber snake is going to feel more realistic than the CGI ones will end up feeling, I expect. If you haven't seen the widescreen special edition that came out a few years ago it is well worth it, for many years you could only get the pan and scan version and that really obscured some great shots.

[Soln]

there will never be a greater opening theme to a film than this: http://youtu.be/sHDmXtW9Yx0

maybe James Bond but whatever

[DraconianOne]

The issue is that the production values aren't going to compare to the original I suspect.

It's not an issue for me.

Then again, this was one of the funnest things I've seen recently: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6mCUoRYN3Y

[Ingmar]

I was hoping that was going to be the Conan the Barbarian musical, and was sadly disappointed.

[Tannhauser]

Out of all of Arnie's roles, I think of him as Conan.  But I have no problem with a new version, the trailer looked somewhat decent.  New dude has big, big shoes to fill though as I think Arnie is the icon (despite the bulk).

Looks like magic will be more obvious in this one.  In the last two it was fairly subtle. Or will it be too much?

I may be the only one who liked Conan the Destroyer.  It was a pretty good DND adventure with a smooooking hot princess.  Could have probably done without Grace Slick(?) the amazon.  It was kind of a cheese fest, but at least it wasn't an origin.

So yeah, I'll go see this, looks like they may not be in the desert all the time which might be interesting.  Is Conan in Tortuga?  We'll see.

[WindupAtheist]

Grace Jones. Also, the only really good bit in Destroyer was her and the princess.

Princess: Zula, how do you get a man to like you?
Zula: Grrrrab him! And rape him!
Princess: Uh...

[Ingmar]

Grace Slick as an amazon warrior would be pretty hilarious, though.

[Tannhauser]

I got my Grace's mixed up!    I did like her in "A View To A Kill" though.  Zorin is one of my favorite Bond villains.  Hmm maybe I should make sure that's his name by the power of Google.  Nah, I'm sure that thats it.  Holy shit I'm typing my thoughts!  Stop!  Stop! Piss, fuck, shit, ham sandwich!
I had a bad day at work

[Chimpy]

Grace Slick as an amazon warrior would be pretty hilarious, though.

Her brains have been so fried for decades that she might be able to actually follow the plot of Conan the Destroyer.

[Ghambit]

The biggest fail this movie will have is having been made too "slick" to adequately portray the genre.  The film should be grainy (why filmakers dont go back toreal film is beyond me), not high-res.  The magic should be complex, insidious, and deadly to the user.  Everything should be gritty, dank, and darkly sexual with a hint of homoeroticism.
Conan himself, although a "beautiful man," still has to exude grit and barbarism regardless.  Tough to cast to say the least.  The same pretty much goes for most everything "beautiful" in Howard's world save a few virgin priestesses here and there.

I got none of that vibe from the trailer obviously, even though I liked the trailer regardless.  So once again, we have yet to see Howard's work adequately portrayed - even by the original (which will have done a better job methinks).

[DraconianOne]

The film should be grainy (why filmakers dont go back toreal film is beyond me), not high-res. 

It was shot on 35mm.

[Sir T]

[Ghambit]

The film should be grainy (why filmakers dont go back toreal film is beyond me), not high-res. 

It was shot on 35mm.

Maybe they need a different camera and/or film type then.

[Aez]

eye bleach

[Draegan]

You guys don't like Khal Drogo moonlighting as Conan?  I mean, he did do a good job hunting space vampires in another galaxy.

[Xuri]

I grew up on the comics, and read the original Howard stories before I ever watched the two Arnold-as-Conan movies, so to me the whole "But Arnold IS Conan!" thing doesn't really hold as strong a position as for some others in here, and I actually think Jason Momoa is a better fit for the character than Arnold was. *shrug*