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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Topic: Job thread 0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Job thread  (Read 992824 times)
Cyrrex
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Reply #1400 on: May 08, 2014, 03:44:36 AM

Was the sarcasm not obvious enough?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Yegolev
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Reply #1401 on: May 08, 2014, 06:15:33 AM

It wasn't, I think.  Although I think it's funny that there's a "white" resume.  Maybe I've never seen a "black" resume.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Paelos
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Reply #1402 on: May 08, 2014, 06:42:04 AM

It wasn't, I think.  Although I think it's funny that there's a "white" resume.  Maybe I've never seen a "black" resume.

We live in Atlanta. The first key would be one of the historically black colleges.

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Sky
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Reply #1403 on: May 08, 2014, 07:10:43 AM

I've always thought your posts come across as very white, too.
Apple.
Ghambit
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Reply #1404 on: May 08, 2014, 08:03:13 AM

I've got a very white sounding last name and one of the whitest resumes you'll ever see. (Ivy League, NHL, Investment Bank, PE Firm, Apple) yeah, I'm a fuckton of a surprise after phone interviews.  awesome, for real

I assume these phone interviews are ones you're giving and not receiving?    Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?
I've been on both sides of the desk myself and it's a lot funner being on the boss side of it.  There is a perverse pleasure had in watching potential employees squirm when they see who they may be working for, and an intense sadness the other way around.  Even if the moment is fleeting (until you prove your worth), it's still there.

The last guy I worked for (Ivy League black american richfuck) actually used it as entertainment.  He'd turn around to me when they weren't looking and make a face, or talk shit when they went to the bathroom.  He had the uncanny ability to turn his color to his advantage in negotiations; because w/o fail any vendors/clients/etc. he dealt with would always talk down to him in some way, shape, or form... even if they were meeting on his superyacht.   


"See, the beauty of webgames is that I can play them on my phone while I'm plowing your mom."  -Samwise
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #1405 on: May 08, 2014, 08:27:14 AM

*sigh*  Second time in the past month or so that the husband's gotten all the way to the third set of interviews and not gotten the job.  The first place ended up not picking anyone for the position at this time and the second one they went with an internal candidate who suddenly expressed interest in the position.  WTF? By the time you've gone to external candidates, you should have already been through any possible internal ones. He did get some feedback from the second place about how he interviewed (really well) and about some BS question he was asked in the third by the president of the bank.  Question was "how many ping-pong balls does it take to fill a 747?"  He said he didn't know but would do X and Y to figure it out.  I guess that was the wrong answer.  The right answer was "I'll assemble my team and have A look up X and B review Y and C/D can do Z."  Which is BS, but whatever.

Yegolev
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Reply #1406 on: May 08, 2014, 08:31:53 AM

It wasn't, I think.  Although I think it's funny that there's a "white" resume.  Maybe I've never seen a "black" resume.

We live in Atlanta. The first key would be one of the historically black colleges.

In seriousness, this is pretty much all I could come up with.  Although I first thought of Skeegee and ASU, since I'm from Bama.

I've worked for two black bosses and they were the best ones I've had, by far.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Paelos
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Reply #1407 on: May 08, 2014, 08:47:18 AM

The number of black accountants in the Georgia Society of CPAs is shockingly low, considering the population.

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Strazos
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Reply #1408 on: May 08, 2014, 08:42:16 PM

Question was "how many ping-pong balls does it take to fill a 747?" 

With or without packaging? The cargo hold, the entire plane, or what?

Though I think my real answer would be, "I don't know, but that'd sure be a huge waste of time if we actually tried to figure it out."

Fuck, who asks this stuff? Maybe I'm doing it wrong by asking real, actually pertinent questions when I am doing hiring.

Fear the Backstab!
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Abagadro
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Reply #1409 on: May 08, 2014, 09:15:59 PM

Question was "how many ping-pong balls does it take to fill a 747?"  He said he didn't know but would do X and Y to figure it out.  I guess that was the wrong answer.  The right answer was "I'll assemble my team and have A look up X and B review Y and C/D can do Z."  Which is BS, but whatever.

I would never want to work for someone that was that big of a jackass.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

-H.L. Mencken
Yoru
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Reply #1410 on: May 09, 2014, 03:42:45 AM

Fuck, who asks this stuff? Maybe I'm doing it wrong by asking real, actually pertinent questions when I am doing hiring.

Google became famous for asking that sort of question in the early 2000s and it became a (shitty) trend in tech-industry hiring thereafter.

The ostensible point is to force the interviewee out of their comfort zone and see how they reason about an abstract problem, one which they cannot possibly resolve due to insufficient information. Basically, a proxy for seeing how they'd approach a difficult software problem. The interviewee is expected to break the problem down in a creative way, identify the unknowns, identify the work that can be done prior to resolving the unknowns, come up with a way for estimating the general amount of work to be done to nail down the unknowns, and ask questions to refine the problem space (i.e. tightening the "requirements" of the problem).

Google, FWIW, admitted that it was bullshit, ended up revealing very little about candidates, and stopped the practice a few years ago.

TL;DR: You're not wrong.
Paelos
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Reply #1411 on: May 09, 2014, 06:58:26 AM

They don't pull that bullshit in accounting job hires. They ask you like-kind exchange questions instead.

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Cyrrex
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Reply #1412 on: May 09, 2014, 07:12:14 AM

The interviews I went through used different personality and other verbal/numerical reasoning tests.  Is that not also common in the US these days?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #1413 on: May 09, 2014, 08:10:35 AM

The interviews I went through used different personality and other verbal/numerical reasoning tests.  Is that not also common in the US these days?
He's done assorted personality assessment stuff as well for interviews.  For what it's worth, he's interviewing for bank branch manager positions, so what the stupid ping-pong 747 question had to do with anything, IDK.  And he figures he didn't want to work for anyone who asks questions like that after all.

Merusk
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Reply #1414 on: May 09, 2014, 08:23:41 AM

The problem was not that he wasn't creative, but that his answer indicated he'd be the one doing the work.  He's being asked to be a manager, not a peon, and has people to do that stuff for him.  An experienced manager would have instinctively gone to the "my team would do this" rather than "I would do this" answer.

It's a subtle difference, but a very important one. We have this problem here at work a lot with people who just can't let go of doing the day to day. They're project managers and their work suffers because they can't give up enough control to their team. They try and do everything themselves and as a result nothing gets done and the clients get pissed off.

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Yegolev
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Reply #1415 on: May 09, 2014, 08:43:24 AM

I read a joke years ago that involved a test for Army officers being asked how they would go about erecting a twenty-foot flag pole in a camp on rocky soil, or some such.  The correct answer was: "Private, put up that flag pole!"

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Ghambit
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Reply #1416 on: May 09, 2014, 08:45:21 AM

All my faux biz plans have voight kampff tests for finding potential employees.

"See, the beauty of webgames is that I can play them on my phone while I'm plowing your mom."  -Samwise
Yegolev
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Reply #1417 on: May 09, 2014, 08:46:45 AM

I wouldn't work for you with a ten foot pole. why so serious?

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Salamok
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Reply #1418 on: May 09, 2014, 08:49:21 AM

Question was "how many ping-pong balls does it take to fill a 747?"  He said he didn't know but would do X and Y to figure it out.  I guess that was the wrong answer.  The right answer was "I'll assemble my team and have A look up X and B review Y and C/D can do Z."  Which is BS, but whatever.

I would never want to work for someone that was that big of a jackass.

I think the only real option when asked such a question is to very quickly answer that it is obviously 834,292, followed up by "and now what are you going to do to prove I am wrong?"

edit - Or if you want to be less dickish "Feel free to correct me if I am wrong but I believe the answer is  834,292." but most of the BS trick interview questions I have seen are phrased around how you would go about solving the problem and not what the actual answer might be.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 08:55:11 AM by Salamok »
ezrast
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Reply #1419 on: May 09, 2014, 08:56:38 AM

Bullshit from management is getting unbearable. I went to update my resume but it's full of frivolous collegey crap from before I had a real job. It's kind of shocking how awful it looks to me now. It'll be nice to have it all updated but it's going to take some... creativity to stretch my actual professional experience enough to replace all that dreck.
schild
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Reply #1420 on: May 09, 2014, 09:13:30 AM

Bullshit from management is getting unbearable. I went to update my resume but it's full of frivolous collegey crap from before I had a real job. It's kind of shocking how awful it looks to me now. It'll be nice to have it all updated but it's going to take some... creativity to stretch my actual professional experience enough to replace all that dreck.
Just fill it with lies. If you can do the job you're applying for, then the lies don't matter.
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #1421 on: May 09, 2014, 09:25:17 AM

The problem was not that he wasn't creative, but that his answer indicated he'd be the one doing the work.  He's being asked to be a manager, not a peon, and has people to do that stuff for him.  An experienced manager would have instinctively gone to the "my team would do this" rather than "I would do this" answer.

It's a subtle difference, but a very important one. We have this problem here at work a lot with people who just can't let go of doing the day to day. They're project managers and their work suffers because they can't give up enough control to their team. They try and do everything themselves and as a result nothing gets done and the clients get pissed off.
I'd say 15+ years as a manager is experienced enough.  Branch managers don't necessarily work the same as a PM though, where you're expected to work as part of the team while overseeing things.  And it's still a BS question, IMO, because you're being asked how you would do something, not how you'd assemble your team to do something.  Not everything has to be a freaking team exercise all the time and looking up how many ping-pong balls fit into a 747 (which can have multiple answers apparently) doesn't have to be a team exercise.  Talk about complicating the simple, which is what most managers do anyhow.

Trippy
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Reply #1422 on: May 09, 2014, 09:52:27 AM

Fuck, who asks this stuff? Maybe I'm doing it wrong by asking real, actually pertinent questions when I am doing hiring.
Google became famous for asking that sort of question in the early 2000s and it became a (shitty) trend in tech-industry hiring thereafter.
Microsoft was the one that popularized these kinds of brain teaser questions among tech companies. "Why are manhole covers round?" was one of their most famous ones.
Cyrrex
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Reply #1423 on: May 09, 2014, 09:56:54 AM

Hmm...because then one man can move it around by himself?  By rolling it?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Merusk
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Reply #1424 on: May 09, 2014, 10:06:40 AM

So it doesn't fall in the hole.  Squares and rectangles will because A & B < C.

Not everything has to be a freaking team exercise all the time and looking up how many ping-pong balls fit into a 747 (which can have multiple answers apparently) doesn't have to be a team exercise.  Talk about complicating the simple, which is what most managers do anyhow.

If your manager is busy you look bad because you hired a guy who can't keep his people in line and on-task. If peons are busy while the manager sits on their ass you look like you hired a competent guy who knows how to delegate and hire competently.

Yes, it's all about complicating the simple and the politics of rising through management. It's why my BIL, a VP, goes home at 4:30 with a 'give me a call if there's a problem' while his staff works until 5:30 or later.

Yes, business is fucked up like that. C'est la vie.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Reply #1425 on: May 09, 2014, 10:13:51 AM

That's just being a good manager.


Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Paelos
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Reply #1426 on: May 09, 2014, 10:41:04 AM

I would have just said pipes are round and moved on with my life.

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Yegolev
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Reply #1427 on: May 09, 2014, 11:07:33 AM

But I like pictures.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Selby
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Reply #1428 on: May 09, 2014, 03:00:29 PM

If your manager is busy you look bad because you hired a guy who can't keep his people in line and on-task. If peons are busy while the manager sits on their ass you look like you hired a competent guy who knows how to delegate and hire competently.
This was my last job.  I was hired to be an engineer, but after a year they ended up putting me in charge of a group of people and a system that was unreliable on good days.  Within 6 months the system was considerably more reliable and I was directing the techs what to do in person and over the phone, rarely having to go out in the field and do it myself.  Everyone said I was the busiest person there and got the most done, most of it was managing people and prioritizing repairs.  No brainer low level management stuff.
Ghambit
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Reply #1429 on: May 09, 2014, 07:02:53 PM

I wouldn't work for you with a ten foot pole. why so serious?

I'm only an arsehole on the internets.   Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?
Actually, one of my former crew just took me to lunch.  Never burned a bridge that didn't deserve to be burned, 'n stuff.

Also, never understood why people go all scorched-earth when they get laid-off, fired, or quit.  That's just not wise unless it's truly deserving.  I've had post-job dealings with just about everyone I've dealt with since the beginning; it helps tremendously especially when changing careers. 

"See, the beauty of webgames is that I can play them on my phone while I'm plowing your mom."  -Samwise
Chimpy
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Reply #1430 on: May 20, 2014, 05:31:02 PM

Got offered a new job today. Is a pseudo-university job, working for the Foundation that handles all the incoming donations and the endowment for the University.

Was expecting a modest raise if I got an offer, but they offered me more than 20% over what I currently make. And due to it being affiliated but not a part of the university system, I will have to cash out about 7 weeks of sick/vacation time.

I will have to wear a tie every day, so that kinda sucks. But I am sure I can live with spiffing up my wardrobe a bit.

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
schild
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Reply #1431 on: May 20, 2014, 06:14:12 PM

I will gobble knob before I ever wear a tie for work every day again. It's 2014. Fuck that.
Merusk
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Reply #1432 on: May 20, 2014, 07:33:54 PM

Got offered a new job today. Is a pseudo-university job, working for the Foundation that handles all the incoming donations and the endowment for the University.

Was expecting a modest raise if I got an offer, but they offered me more than 20% over what I currently make. And due to it being affiliated but not a part of the university system, I will have to cash out about 7 weeks of sick/vacation time.

I will have to wear a tie every day, so that kinda sucks. But I am sure I can live with spiffing up my wardrobe a bit.


Congrats! Nice pay raise and pay out.

Now use some of it to slurge on yourself and get some real fitted suits and shirts and you won't even notice. No foolin.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Paelos
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Reply #1433 on: May 20, 2014, 08:03:52 PM

I will gobble knob before I ever wear a tie for work every day again. It's 2014. Fuck that.

Are you employed yet?

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schild
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Reply #1434 on: May 20, 2014, 09:55:58 PM

I will gobble knob before I ever wear a tie for work every day again. It's 2014. Fuck that.
Are you employed yet?
I'm doing just fine, tyvm.
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