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Topic: Smurfs (Read 8673 times)
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sickrubik
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2967
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beer geek.
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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There was nothing about that trailer that wasn't horribly wrong.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Aez
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1369
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Horible.
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Slyfeind
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2037
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I heard about this, saw pics of Hank Shearer as Gargamel, and thought hm, this sounds fun. As long as they don't do EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAW IN THAT FUCKING TRAILER!
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"Role playing in an MMO is more like an open orchestra with no conductor, anyone of any skill level can walk in at any time, and everyone brings their own instrument and plays whatever song they want. Then toss PvP into the mix and things REALLY get ugly!" -Count Nerfedalot
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Cadaverine
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1655
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I hate you for showing me this.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
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Ratman_tf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3818
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Wild thing! Uhn!
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 "What I'm saying is you should make friends with a few catasses, they smell funny but they're very helpful." -Calantus makes the best of a smelly situation. |
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Musashi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1692
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No.
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AKA Gyoza
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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Why, NPH? Why?  |
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Chimpy
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10633
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So it is clear that Hollywood can't even garner up the creativity to re-hash old story lines with some new names/characters and setting anymore.
This worked as a kid's cartoon/TV show/ATARI game 30 years ago, lets make it into a big budget movie!
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'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Why, NPH? Why? I can't remember who it was, but some actor was asked about why he was in some shitball project that was clearly beneath him and he replied "Have you ever held a check for 6 million dollars?" |
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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WindupAtheist
Army of One
Posts: 7028
Badicalthon
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This worked as a kid's cartoon/TV show/ATARI game 30 years ago, lets make it into a big budget movie! If it was just a feature-length CGI version of Smurfs I'd be ambivalent. Makes as good a kids movie as anything else, I guess. But as soon as I saw real-world landmarks I got a bad feeling. When that old Tone Loc song kicked in, telling me this movie was going to have "attitude" in an exhausted creatively-dead sort of way, I wanted to run screaming. John Oliver is Vanity Smurf and Paul Reubens is Jokey Smurf. Those two could be funny in a movie that wasn't self-evidently a giant pile of horrible shit. |
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« Last Edit: June 16, 2010, 09:35:36 PM by WindupAtheist »
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"You're just a dick who quotes himself in his sig." -- Schild
"Yeah, it's pretty awesome." -- Me
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FatuousTwat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2223
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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Insert Avatar II comment HERE.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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Ratman_tf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3818
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Why, NPH? Why? I can't remember who it was, but some actor was asked about why he was in some shitball project that was clearly beneath him and he replied "Have you ever held a check for 6 million dollars?"  |
"What I'm saying is you should make friends with a few catasses, they smell funny but they're very helpful." -Calantus makes the best of a smelly situation. |
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10966
eat a bag of dicks
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They were filming this in my neighborhood a few weeks ago. I wanted to stab people.
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Evildrider
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5521
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What I hate, is that even though the Smurfs is going to be horrible, it's not going to be as bad as the "edgy" remake of Fraggle Rock that the Weinstein brothers are trying to make.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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I hated the fucking Smurfs as a kid. This... this is a goddamn crime against humanity.
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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This is possibly the worst movie I've ever seen and you know what my co-worker said that is absolutely correct? It's going to make a ton of money.
G-Force+Chipmunks kids are going to eat it up.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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My god.
...
My god.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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Also in the news links on that site, Atlas Shrugged is entering production. New generation of teenaged lolbertarians incoming!
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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So it is clear that Hollywood can't even garner up the creativity to re-hash old story lines with some new names/characters and setting anymore.
The creativity's there, nobody wants to fund it. There's far, far, FAR too much money on the line to risk it. When every picture is a blockbuster in budget, it must make a shitload.. which means it can't be risky. So old movies are rehashed because they made money the first time, so they have a proven audience who is likely to see a rehash. Rob Zombie talked about this at length a few places when asked why he was doing Halloween instead of continuing his own series. What this also means is you should expect a Titanic remake in 10-12 years. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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pxib
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4701
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Audiences want something new, but not too new. Producers just find it easier to generate word of mouth by exploring new territory on a pre-existing frame than to make great movies that stand on their own merits every single time.
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if at last you do succeed, never try again
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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The creativity's there, nobody wants to fund it. There's far, far, FAR too much money on the line to risk it. When every picture is a blockbuster in budget, it must make a shitload.. which means it can't be risky. So old movies are rehashed because they made money the first time, so they have a proven audience who is likely to see a rehash. Rob Zombie talked about this at length a few places when asked why he was doing Halloween instead of continuing his own series.
What this also means is you should expect a Titanic remake in 10-12 years.
That's surprisingly similar to another medium we discuss on these forums. |
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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Politics?
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Soln
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4737
the opportunity for evil is just delicious
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wow that was awful, even with NPH. So predictable, like an even worse Chipmunks movie.
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Fabricated
Moderator
Posts: 8978
~Living the Dream~
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Also in the news links on that site, Atlas Shrugged is entering production. New generation of teenaged lolbertarians incoming!
They already made that, it was called The Incredibles. |
"The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist." - George Bernard Shaw
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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What this also means is you should expect a Titanic remake in 10-12 years.
I think Spider-Man has already proven this moreso than Titanic, but superhero movies seem to avoid most of the negativity associated with remakes. |
"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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The creativity's there, nobody wants to fund it. There's far, far, FAR too much money on the line to risk it. When every picture is a blockbuster in budget, it must make a shitload.. which means it can't be risky. So old movies are rehashed because they made money the first time, so they have a proven audience who is likely to see a rehash. Rob Zombie talked about this at length a few places when asked why he was doing Halloween instead of continuing his own series.
What this also means is you should expect a Titanic remake in 10-12 years.
That's surprisingly similar to another medium we discuss on these forums. I'll admit, after writing it I also noted the similarity. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Kitsune
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2406
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Also in the news links on that site, Atlas Shrugged is entering production. New generation of teenaged lolbertarians incoming!
They already made that, it was called The Incredibles. The Incredibles. The movie where the self-made industrialist genius is evil and the heroes are busy performing selfless deeds all over the place. Is Atlas Shrugged? I'm reeeeeally not seeing the connection there. |
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Slyfeind
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2037
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That was the most insane stretch ever.
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"Role playing in an MMO is more like an open orchestra with no conductor, anyone of any skill level can walk in at any time, and everyone brings their own instrument and plays whatever song they want. Then toss PvP into the mix and things REALLY get ugly!" -Count Nerfedalot
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Hoax
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8110
l33t kiddie
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What this also means is you should expect a Titanic remake in 10-12 years.
I think Spider-Man has already proven this moreso than Titanic, but superhero movies seem to avoid most of the negativity associated with remakes. Its a genre where retcons and invalidating years of story and character development at the drop of a hat are the name of the game. |
A nation consists of its laws. A nation does not consist of its situation at a given time. If an individual's morals are situational, then that individual is without morals. If a nation's laws are situational, that nation has no laws, and soon isn't a nation.
-William Gibson
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UnSub
Contributor
Posts: 8064
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Also in the news links on that site, Atlas Shrugged is entering production. New generation of teenaged lolbertarians incoming!
They already made that, it was called The Incredibles. The Incredibles. The movie where the self-made industrialist genius is evil and the heroes are busy performing selfless deeds all over the place. Is Atlas Shrugged? I'm reeeeeally not seeing the connection there. There is an Objectivist reading in seeing these incredible people shackled to the mediocrity of the parasites, which they then throw off to reveal their true greatness. However, it's a weak reading that misses the point (especially since Syndrome is the most Objectivist of them all, and he's the bad guy). EDIT: Saw the trailer and read the blurb. It's "Alvin and the Chimpmunks" in blue make-up. |
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« Last Edit: June 18, 2010, 11:09:37 PM by UnSub »
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Draegan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10043
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That was fucking terrible. Smurfs belong in their forest and in their mushroom houses. Fuck you all. Fuck you.
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Ratman_tf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3818
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That was fucking terrible. Smurfs belong in their forest and in their mushroom houses. Fuck you all. Fuck you.
I can see a Smurfs in the modern world story being good. Not from Hollywood though. |
"What I'm saying is you should make friends with a few catasses, they smell funny but they're very helpful." -Calantus makes the best of a smelly situation. |
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