Mr. Smart is the Best Forum Poster [INTERNET HISTORY ITT]

[Shatter]

I met him at a party once.  He told me he was Sidney Poitier's son.

He looked a lot like Will Smith too I bet.

Sill Wmith

[Lantyssa]

Smill With.  You have to make the pronunciation flow.

[Bzalthek]

That would imply Smerek Dart, which is not the case.

[schild]

I hope that sack of flesh shows up here now.

[Bzalthek]

I thought he was banned

[schild]

I did not preban Dr. Smart. That would be juvenile, and if there's anything I don't want to be - it's to act in a way Dr. Smart would act.

[Nebu]

If you want him to show up, simply create a mock thread that sings the praises of how great he and his game are.  Lavish him with compliments and reference his past titles liberally. 

[01101010]

If you want him to show up, simply create a mock thread that sings the praises of how great he and his game are.  Lavish him with compliments and reference his past titles liberally. 

And hope he ignores the flashing signs that say "Its a trap!"

Then again, you might be onto something. Someone get the box, stick, and string.

[Shatter]

If you want him to show up, simply create a mock thread that sings the praises of how great he and his game are.  Lavish him with compliments and reference his past titles liberally. 

then go take a shower and scrub yourself with a metal brush and disinfectant

[bhodi]

The SA thing wasn't really worth noting.

I came.

I saw.

I determined that I was well and truly screwed for even thinking of coming here again after being recently invited. It's like being invited to your very own personal service. At your funeral. With your mother-in-law praying to Satan to please take you because St. Patrick is a drunk who would let anyone into heaven.

So, I left.

I'll probably be back. When it's dark.

[Mrbloodworth]

http://www.mmorpg.com/gamelist.cfm/game/388/view/news/read/16954/Alganon-N3rfed-Blog-John-Smedleys-Never-Been-to-New-Orleans.html

 

[Samprimary]

So, now that it is out: this game is essentially what WoW would be if Blizzard were a company that was mismanaged to a malevolent degree by a revolving door of the questionably sane, who were trying to copy it whole-cloth as a much more successful game, but then had to spend the latter half of the design implementation timeframe covering up their earlier plagiarism with even less inspired genericism. Then, when the end product ends up being a piece of shit without even so much as a breath of compelling gameplay that rises out of the mire of second-rate, derivative MMO hackwork, they push it out anyway, preferring to let it die as a morbid, mewling accident on the delivery room floor rather than give it the decency of a quiet, dignified stillbirth.

*hands this back in time through my TIME MACHINE*

[Mrbloodworth]

/thread

[Dtrain]

[tgr]

Oh god, the comments.

Just leave Derek alone. You are all acting like he peed in your bathwater and molested your kitten. Cut the guy a break. he is a visionary and a great team motivator and one of the nicest most noble people you could ever be lucky enough to meet.

Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6XwPsAEc3I

I normally would rather rake over my eyes with hot coal than read comments (...but I do it anyway), but those comments were hilarious.

[schild]

Funny, when he molested my kitten, that's when it got personal.

[Hutch]

So, now that it is out: this game is essentially what WoW would be if Blizzard were a company that was mismanaged to a malevolent degree by a revolving door of the questionably sane, who were trying to copy it whole-cloth as a much more successful game, but then had to spend the latter half of the design implementation timeframe covering up their earlier plagiarism with even less inspired genericism. Then, when the end product ends up being a piece of shit without even so much as a breath of compelling gameplay that rises out of the mire of second-rate, derivative MMO hackwork, they push it out anyway, preferring to let it die as a morbid, mewling accident on the delivery room floor rather than give it the decency of a quiet, dignified stillbirth.

*hands this back in time through my TIME MACHINE*

So, Sam Primary, you've come back from the future to describe Vanguard? What's it like?
Hey, is that a butterfly stuck to your shoe?

So, Sampimmary, you've come back from teh futuare to word-picture Warh4mmer Online? Wat is it like?

So, Samual Primal, we meet anew. What does the future think re-garding the game Alganon?

[Samprimary]

So, Samual Primal, we meet anew. What does the future think re-garding the game Alganon?

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor knew well the spergbaby he was
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Serek Dmart, Doctor Serek Dmart to you:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

[schild]

Referencing Ozymandias is my thing :(

[fuser]

Mr. Smart is starting to spool up on the SA thread. Here's some direct links to the posts.

Yesterdays
Initial post
Post #2

Today
Back when guys like me...
Go ahead, show us what you've done lately
...my freeware games are still very, very popular.
I was better off focusing on a MMO game

[Mrbloodworth]

http://galactic-command.com/   


Also, why do I feel like I have read those posts before?

[sam, an eggplant]

Fantastic, he shows up and absolutely correctly says "I would have to be a fool to come here, you're obviously hostile and just trying to provoke me", then proceeds to pull up a stool and start posting his standard lulworthy garbage. He has no filter and can't stop himself. Derek hasn't changed one iota over the years, he's still a child.

[Falconeer]

Well, turns out I envy his games collection.

[Segoris]

Fantastic, he shows up and absolutely correctly says "I would have to be a fool to come here, you're obviously hostile and just trying to provoke me", then proceeds to pull up a stool and start posting his standard lulworthy garbage. He has no filter and can't stop himself. Derek hasn't changed one iota over the years, he's still a child.

Did you expect any different? I would have been more surprised if he didn't stay around and post.

[sam, an eggplant]

No, the only surprising part is that I'm still entertained by his wacky hijinks after fifteen years.

[Ironwood]

Yeah, but old men still wank.

[Stormwaltz]

Well, turns out I envy his games collection.

Except for TekWar, one assumes.

[squirrel]

I. Just. I. Don't know how to explain. The pleasure.

In the thread on Lum's site I saw this:

Bah, forget an edit button, how about a “preview” button?
Hey, now, F13 was classy enough to ban me from their own forums simply for being too damn spammy and an overly effective foil.  So, clearly, they must have some rampant elitism standards above the average fan site.   But I’m not bitter.

And then my head exploded. In a thread about Dr. Smart, Geldon calls out F13 for, um, I don't know. I want Geldon and Dr. Smart to have babies. That would be awesome.

EDIT: Drunk posting, beware.

[Ironwood]

That boy clearly wears overly effective tinfoil.

[Sjofn]

an overly effective foil

Now, I don't know the whole geldon saga, but that right there? That is adorable.

[Velorath]

And then my head exploded. In a thread about Dr. Smart, Geldon calls out F13 for, um, I don't know. I want Geldon and Dr. Smart to have babies. That would be awesome.

The only real difference between the two is that Smart has actually developed games shitty though they may be.  Geldon on the other hand has been referring to himself as an independent game developer lately despite the fact that he doesn't have a single playable game to his name yet after what appears to be a couple years of trying.

Other than that, they both go from message board to message board getting into arguments and telling themselves it's just because they're misunderstood geniuses that nobody likes them.

[IainC]

I want Geldon and Dr. Smart to have babies. That would be awesome.

Such a child would probably rate about 870 milliNevas (or 87 centiProks if you prefer) on the tragically misunderstood genius scale.

[Bzalthek]

Leave it to the metric system to have a measurement for that level of retardedness. 

What is the SI unit?

[Lantyssa]

Now, I don't know the whole geldon saga, but that right there? That is adorable.

No, he is anything but.

As a pretty solid rule, I don't like to make fun of people for their place in life.  Ego-maniacal idiots with a self-inflated sense of worth however make me reconsider.  Geldon epitomizes the "over-thirty living in mom's basement told he was special too many times but still think they are a genius and makes sure everyone knows it" loser.  I didn't need to make any of that up.  Also, any thread he participates in devolves into being about him and his incredibly moronic views.

[IainC]

Geldon on himself and f13

With maturity, alas, comes a need for new friends.  I was ejected from F13 because I became too mature to deal with the kind of games they play on those forums (typically “dump on someone for lols” – granted, I was never particularly popular with that crowd).  I alienated my old ICQ spamming bud because I became too mature to tolerate him responding with immaturity every time I failed to entertain.

With this latest forum debacle, I’ve come to realize the depth of the problem.  The young (or young at heart) won’t understand why I’m so cantankerous towards their shenanigans.  They lack of maturity to understand the principles involved.  Consequently, they’re just going to chalk me up as a bitter old man because they can’t understand what I’m talking about.

There’s nothing I can do.  Once you’ve the wisdom to understand the necessity of mature conduct, you can’t take it back.  Assuming your brain is working properly, the lessons learned through maturity are core enough as to be ever-present part of your implicit nature, and consequently you’ll always remember why not to act like the young upstart.  I can only accept that and move on.