Festivus 2009: TO FUCKED HEALTH CARE REFORM AND BEYOND

[schild]

Do your thing, bitches.

[Ironwood]

Bloodworth :  Seriously, pay some fucking attention.

[Trippy]

I have no Grievances towards any of you this year -- I love you all! Even the regulars I banned

[Viin]

Wait, it's Christmas already?

[Trippy]

Festivus is celebrated on December 23rd.

[Viin]

Festivus, Christmas, is there really a difference?

[Trippy]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus

[MuffinMan]

I thought it was 2009....

[Polysorbate80]

Ironwood and Haemish:  Ironwood's recent showings in the LotR nerdgasm aside, your customary spewings of vitriol and profanity have lately felt lacking in fire, brimstone, and inappropriateness for mixed company.

This is not a charade.  We need total concentration.  Try again, with feeling.

Plus, my flask is empty and I've still got three hours of work left (not that I blame you for that, unless you've somehow obtained access to my desk drawer.)

[Velorath]

I don't have the time or inclination to list specific people here, but basically I'm disappointed in anyone here who continues to spend more time in Politics than they do discussing games.  Whereas some of you might actually have something insightful to say about video games from time to time, few if any of you have posted one damn thing worth reading in politics.

[WindupAtheist]

Gryeyes, because he is a know-nothing weaboo asshat. That bit of "next one to get denned gets banned" mod-brinksmanship I played in the Avatar thread that led to him getting a week's vacation was delicious. DELICIOUSSSS.

Also MahrinSkel for being the very epitome of that guy who posts more in Politics than everywhere else combined, and should remember that this is primarily a website about videogames and shut the fuck up. The fact that he has his tinfoil hat surgically grafted to his skull doesn't help.

The Warhammer guys at Mythic. As far as I can tell they got most of the UO team fired by making their uber-expensive new MMO such a shitbag flop that it dragged down the entire studio. I don't even play UO right now, but until they pull the plug my going back is always just a matter of time, so fuck you.

Whatever fag I imagine* must have caused f13 to quit handing out blue names. Not that I really wanted one, and that's the point. I wrote a 30,000 word story that got frontpaged and turned into books (which was awesome by the way) and anyone who knows can tell you I didn't make two peeps about what color my name was. Whatever dipshit pitched enough of a fit to make them go "Oh fuck the whole thing!" because his three-paragraph review of Gremlins 2 (or whatever) didn't make him a "contributor" should kill himself in the face of that.

Blizzard for adding that new LFG system to WoW and sucking me back in again. Damn it, my account was mere days from expiring. I was almost out. I don't even LIKE this type of game. Now if you don't mind, I have to go. I need to queue up and try to farm myself a new sword. SHINY.

Edit: Do we usually spew our wrath at people who don't even post here in these threads? I seem to remember having done so in the past. Oh well, I did anyway. Fuck it.

(* I am not in the f13 cool kids club, I don't know what goes on behind the scenes here, I don't want to know, and it's entirely possible that nothing such as this has ever taken place. But it seems logical and who gives a fuck?)

[Soln]

yeah WUA all that.  The stuff about Politics particularly.  And the WAR starfuckers.  Although entertaining it got a bit much.  Chargerich and others ragequitting, cripes. 

[lamaros]

All the people who keep whinging about the politics forum: It helps people get banned, doesn't it?

[WayAbvPar]

In no particular order-

The GOP for continuing to prove that is has no interest in serving the country, only their corporate and religious masters. Also, the dimwits who keep voting for them against their own best interests.

The Dems for being utterly incapable of getting out of their own way and actually unfucking this country, or at least slowing it circling of the drain.

Infinity Ward for pissing in the face of all their PC customers and telling them it was rain.

GRRM for wasting another fucking year editing shitty books and watching football, and not finishing ADwdD and the rest of the series. What a cockgoblin.

Amazon, Dell, and the rest of the shitty online companies who promise delivery times when orders are placed, and promptly update the delivery time to days or weeks later without so much as an email. FUCK YOU.

Any and all game companies that release PC games with shitty UIs and features copied over from the console versions. Either get it right or don't bother.

The asshats who destroyed the economy and made it impossible to refinance my house   Technically happened in 2008, but didn't really affect me until 2009.

The media for abdicating their responsibilities to inform in favor of entertaining and placating the masses. This country is getting stupider and less informed by the day.

I got a lot of problems with you people, but that that is all that springs to mind at the moment. I reserve the right to add to my remarks in the future. Until that time, on with the feats of strength, and happy Festivus!

[MahrinSkel]

People who are obsessed with my posting stats.  Not my fault that every discussion worth having about MMO's has already been done to fucking death.  I should include more "If Developer X had done what I told them, they wouldn't have fucked their own game in the ass" posts?

Developers that don't follow the advice I offer them at the 2 or 3 conferences I actually make it to a year.

Developers that do follow my advice, but never acknowledge it came from me.

Development studios that repost the same job opening over and over again, with qualifications that could have been reverse-engineered from my resume, but never call (or even email) me in response to my resume submissions.  Why not just post "We want somebody like Dave, but without his attitude"?

Development studios that wait until I've told them I'll take the job before getting around to telling me the job requires I renew my passport (meaning: The job is in another country, where my wife's law degree is something less than useful).

People that think that being cynical means being against everything positive.

Flaming douchebags that think they're better than me because they're just as willing to spout their drivel in a game forum as in a political forum.  Me, I like keeping my shit somewhere that already stinks.

[lamaros]

Looks like you lured him out of the politics forum. Bad WUA. Very bad.

[TheWalrus]

Borderlands guys for fucking up a great game by tarderizing the coop process.

Chevy for not giving me a new Camaro.

[Hoax]

This was the least fun year of f13 in the X years Ive been here.  For once Im going to actually take this thread seriously.  There are many users that I would post backhanded or plain complements towards.  But thats not what this is about according to my understanding (I didnt read the wiki link).

Politics That was my favorite board, ever, until the 2008 election lead up.  Until whoever cried to the mods about whatever abortion thread or somesuch and that led to the new moderated politics.  Ill be honest Ive assumed it was the LGBT brigade due to the timing of events but there is a reason I would never want to read the cool kids club posts so whoever caused it a big fuck you from me.  I prefer watching Mahrin and Morat get trolled for pages then just having it be reduced to a pointless echo chamber like it is now for the most part.  That was politics, for the vast majority of posters it seemed to work just fine.

That said, the current version of politics is what we have and frankly it sucks.  I feel like we have less threads about less issues and the threads we have are pretty much a waste of time.

XBL bros Get the fuck off my internet.  Any of you fuckwads from the MW2 thread?  Talking about how kb+mouse is debatably a superior control scheme?  FUCK OFF.  Go back to your terrible no server having games.  Yeah you are the majority, so are American Idol viewers and a host of other groups that can only be described as pathetically stupid.  Im too lazy to look you up to name and shame but I wish I could from memory.

MMO players Im talking to people like Threash, Falconeer and you lot who bought Aion and spewed fanboi bullshit all over f13 for months + any of you idiots who bought ChampO.  What the fuck is wrong with you people?  One look at the ui tells me this combat is going to feel like 1999 and suck dick.  Holy hell you would have taken the clueless crown this year if not for...

You people giving SWOTORTOREREOR a fucking chance who would have been the biggest losers if not for...

Anyone who bumps that goddamn Star Trek thread and its not to laugh at what a pile of shit it is!!!  Anyone who pre ordered Star Trek Online you suck and I hate you.  Id like to see the servers underpopulated at fucking launch that game is such an obvious turd.

People who have never once posted a photo in the T&A thread but reply to it all the time?  Burn in a fucking tire fire bitches.  People like ookii who post 90% awful photos of fugly bitches?  You suck too but at least you are trying.

Paelos, Snakecharmer and any other SEC fanboi bitch racist southern hick pig fuckers.  I love to hate you guys.  Thank your stars that ESPN will make sure that you stay too overrated to not get 2+ bcs bids.  See you next year.

That idiot who is a big Penguins fan and makes it so I dont read the hockey threads anymore?  Fuck you too guy.

Happy 2009.

 

[WindupAtheist]

Looks like you lured him out of the politics forum. Bad WUA. Very bad.

The funny part is, I started my post and then got distracted, and ended up not coming back to finish it until like an hour later. The fact that Velorath was bitching about the exact same thing one post earlier is sheer coincidence.

Flaming douchebags that think they're better than me because they're just as willing to spout their drivel in a game forum as in a political forum.  Me, I like keeping my shit somewhere that already stinks.

Would it have been too hard to just put "WUA" at the beginning of that and not sound like a giant pussy? It's not about being a douchebag or spouting drivel. I do both those things, as do lots of other people here, and damn if it isn't fun. It's about being the sort of douchebag who spouts drivel almost exclusively about politics, and if you don't understand the difference then nobody is ever going to be able to explain it to you. Just go on being That Guy.

[schild]

Festivus thread is NOT for arguing.

[Ard]

Anyone who posts non-picture posts in any of the picture threads.  Is this really that hard to figure out?  If you really must comment, find some appropriate picture to add to the thread also, don't go pages ranting about something trite and meaningless.  There are perfectly other good threads to do that in.

[Righ]

Thread nazis.

[slog]

Happy Festivus.  My Grievances:

My employer, for not giving raises even though they made a billion in profits.

The over the top posters in the Politics forum.  Just chill, none of our opinions actually count for anything.

Me, for selling a TimeCard in Eve.

The 14 100 foot+ pine tress in my yard that I'm paying $4,200 to get rid of.

My knees for not allowing me to run on them anymore.

[K9]

my posting stats

You haven't exceeded Broughden's ratio yet, but you are close  

I'm just happy this year is over, 2009 has been a rather lacklustre year.

[Bzalthek]

All of 2009, for bringing me one year closer to death without providing anything to look forward to.  2010 better be all sparkles and rainbows shooting out assholes.

[SnakeCharmer]

Fuck you, TV execs pulling good shows, and not recognizing the internet has already over taken their domain.  Page hits and users on hulu are easier to track than Nielsen ratings.
Fuck you, game developers constantly pushing out 10 hour games and expecting people to pay 60+ bucks for it.
Fuck you, game developers raping consumers with DLC content.  It's not that I have to pay for it that is at issue.  It's the fact that the purchase price of the original game isn't reflective of an incomplete game.
Fuck you, iPhones, iPhone apps, and Apple in general.
Fuck you, Bob Goldwater and other bottom feeders like you that give the lawyer profession its reputation as a bunch of ambulance chasing fuckwits.
Fuck you, stimulus package for costing somewhere in the neighborhood of 270,000 bucks per job 'created' or 'saved'.
Fuck you, Mississippi State Troopers.
Fuck you, anyone that can't argue a point without using one curse word or insulting the other - i.e. being incapable of arguing the point, and not the person.
Fuck you, Boeing, for being whiny ass bitches and complained to the Air Force about the air tanker contact being 'unfair' to Boeing.
Fuck you, Air Force, for caving to Boeing.
Fuck you, anyone that feels compelled to race ahead of me, then pull in front of me, and slam on their brakes to make a turn.
Fuck you, pulling guard from Arkansas that chop blocked Dont'a Hightower, blowing out his knee in the process.
Fuck you, USC / ND / OSU ass lickers just for being USC / ND / OSU ass lickers.
Fuck you, ALFA for raising my homeowners insurance AGAIN, despite the fact that I've never ever filed a claim.
Fuck you, to ANYONE that whines about the big bad GOP or conservatives or the religous right, when your own party is just as bad or worse on every occasion - or are STILL whining about the big bad GOP despite the fact you have overwhelming control.  Quit posting like impotents and get out and actually doing something rather than bitching about it.
Fuck you, GOP for regressing so badly over the last...7 years...that you positively got your stool pushed in so far your toothbrush is brown by a bunch of granola eating tree hugging communist wannabes.  Seriously.  You fucking suck.
Fuck you, anyone that blames their current situation - whether health, money, or whatever - on anyone but themselves and expecting someone else to take care of it for them.


Fuck you, and have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous and Happy New Year.

[NiX]

Your mom, for not swallowing.

[SnakeCharmer]

Your mom, for not swallowing.

Eat a bullet, die in a fire, etc.

[Trippy]

Cut it out you two.

[Sir T]

*Insert Cynical comment here*

Happy Christmas everyone :)

[ghost]

I thought F13 was Festivus. 

[Sky]

Righ, for having such cultured, excellent, erudite taste in shitty music.

[bhodi]

Sky, for taking an offhand joke entirely too far

[Selby]

To my ex-company.  Thanks for the bonus and award for an on-time delivery of a new power supply and charger system that I designed, implemented, and tested under terrible circumstances a few years back that now runs your entire generation of latest products, yet you still found it in your heart to fire (I'm sorry, "reduction in force") me and 120 others since we were not considered "core team members" that you can now outsource (after "reducing force" 250 other people right before Christmas last year).  Now that I had to relocate my soon to be ex-wife used it as an excuse to dump me for not having a job and wanting a better life elsewhere without me.  Fuck you very much and I hope your Japanese competitor eats your shit for lunch and you go out of business.

And ditto what other people said ;-)

[Sky]

Sky, for taking an offhand joke entirely too far

I'm making an offhand joke right now!

(All the kids who got upset with the fapping daffy)