Festivus 2009: TO FUCKED HEALTH CARE REFORM AND BEYOND

[schild]

Fuck Nintendo in the goat ass for signing off on the largest heaping pile of useless shit that barely deserve to be called video games, both from internal devs and 3rd party devs. Yes, your console has sold a metric fuckton and more. Yes, it has ostensibly expanded the video game industry to an audience that wouldn't have otherwise been interested. But goddamn, couldn't you have at least forced your 3rd party devs to some standard of worthiness? For a system I championed, there aren't 30 great games on the goddamn thing - and I'd be hard-pressed to find 30 GOOD games on it either. FUCK YOU and fuck me for believing you would give a shit.

So, what you're saying is, I was right on day 1?

Yea, fuck all of you for thinking otherwise.

[HaemishM]

Fuck Nintendo in the goat ass for signing off on the largest heaping pile of useless shit that barely deserve to be called video games, both from internal devs and 3rd party devs. Yes, your console has sold a metric fuckton and more. Yes, it has ostensibly expanded the video game industry to an audience that wouldn't have otherwise been interested. But goddamn, couldn't you have at least forced your 3rd party devs to some standard of worthiness? For a system I championed, there aren't 30 great games on the goddamn thing - and I'd be hard-pressed to find 30 GOOD games on it either. FUCK YOU and fuck me for believing you would give a shit.

So, what you're saying is, I was right on day 1?

Yea, fuck all of you for thinking otherwise.

Yeah, I'll give you all of that, except about Red Steel. 'Cos that game still kicks ass. And fuck you all who don't think so.

[Tarami]

I only got a few things...

Fuck you, the development team for .NET Framework at Microsoft for never deciding on which leg you're going to stand, and fuck your trend-whoring. Also, fuck C# 4.0 and its lame fucking feature list. Fuck "dynamic" typing.

And fuck you, Infinity Ward. You know why.

[stray]

Fuck Nintendo in the goat ass for signing off on the largest heaping pile of useless shit that barely deserve to be called video games, both from internal devs and 3rd party devs. Yes, your console has sold a metric fuckton and more. Yes, it has ostensibly expanded the video game industry to an audience that wouldn't have otherwise been interested. But goddamn, couldn't you have at least forced your 3rd party devs to some standard of worthiness? For a system I championed, there aren't 30 great games on the goddamn thing - and I'd be hard-pressed to find 30 GOOD games on it either. FUCK YOU and fuck me for believing you would give a shit.

So, what you're saying is, I was right on day 1?

Yea, fuck all of you for thinking otherwise.

Yeah, I'll give you all of that, except about Red Steel. 'Cos that game still kicks ass. And fuck you all who don't think so.

There are more than a few things worth playing on it. It just doesn't have the edge it was thought to have.

I will try not to derail further though!

[MahrinSkel]

Fuck Nintendo in the goat ass for signing off on the largest heaping pile of useless shit that barely deserve to be called video games, both from internal devs and 3rd party devs. Yes, your console has sold a metric fuckton and more. Yes, it has ostensibly expanded the video game industry to an audience that wouldn't have otherwise been interested. But goddamn, couldn't you have at least forced your 3rd party devs to some standard of worthiness? For a system I championed, there aren't 30 great games on the goddamn thing - and I'd be hard-pressed to find 30 GOOD games on it either. FUCK YOU and fuck me for believing you would give a shit.

So, what you're saying is, I was right on day 1?

Yea, fuck all of you for thinking otherwise.

And yet in spite of that, *I* was right from day -1, the PS3 got pushed into third place (fourth if you count post-PS3 PS2 sales, fifth if you count the DS).  Wii Fit and its spinoffs may not quite have been what I was hoping for when I said it would lead to "Genre Founding" titles, but what can you do?  So fuck you for doubting me.

--Dave

[Slayerik]

Fuck Trammel
Fuck Wow
Fuck You

[schild]

Fuck Nintendo in the goat ass for signing off on the largest heaping pile of useless shit that barely deserve to be called video games, both from internal devs and 3rd party devs. Yes, your console has sold a metric fuckton and more. Yes, it has ostensibly expanded the video game industry to an audience that wouldn't have otherwise been interested. But goddamn, couldn't you have at least forced your 3rd party devs to some standard of worthiness? For a system I championed, there aren't 30 great games on the goddamn thing - and I'd be hard-pressed to find 30 GOOD games on it either. FUCK YOU and fuck me for believing you would give a shit.

So, what you're saying is, I was right on day 1?

Yea, fuck all of you for thinking otherwise.

And yet in spite of that, *I* was right from day -1, the PS3 got pushed into third place (fourth if you count post-PS3 PS2 sales, fifth if you count the DS).  Wii Fit and its spinoffs may not quite have been what I was hoping for when I said it would lead to "Genre Founding" titles, but what can you do?  So fuck you for doubting me.

--Dave

I didn't doubt you.

I was right.

There are no genres left to found. ^_^

[Cadaverine]

Fuck all the people hating on Blizzard for their success, and saying WoW somehow stifles the creativity of the MMO genre.  These games are, by and large, shit, and would continue to be so with, or without, WoW.
Conversely, fuck all the retards taking an inch, and going a mile with WoW merchandising.  It's a fucking video game, not a lifestyle choice.
Fuck people that are so bitter that they have to shit all over peoples parades, to make themselves feel better, be it their choice in music, movies, games, etc.
Furthermore, fuck people that can't just shut off their damn brain for 120 minutes, and enjoy a movie without nitpicking every little fucking detail.  
Fuck Paul Barnett for talking a good game, and delivering a wet pile of regurgitated shit.  And fuck Vigil/THQ in advance for fucking up Warhammer 40k.
Fuck your mom.
Fuck Florida.
Fuck cranky octogenarians for calling me at work, and bitching because some little piddly thing gets changed on our web site.
And lastly, fuck Haemish for making me buy his book.

[stray]

[edit] Eh, nevermind.

[Morfiend]

FUCK YOU JOE THE PLUMBER

[Polysorbate80]

Ironwood and Haemish:  Ironwood's recent showings in the LotR nerdgasm aside, your customary spewings of vitriol and profanity have lately felt lacking in fire, brimstone, and inappropriateness for mixed company.

Fuck you, you rotting bag of flea-bitten orangutan ovaries. My Festivus wish is that you become the plaything of inbred, closeted BDSM conservatives with syphilitic testicles and a withered penis, are locked in the basement of some sailor wanna-hump-hump bar for six weeks before being fed a steady diet of evangelical Jesus-laced brainwashing by six-year old neo-Nazis. Is that vitriolic enough for you, motherfucker?

Better, but you forgot the economy-sized red type.

[WindupAtheist]

Fuck you guys for making me think of an ICP song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5DfKFDCRPI

[schild]

Speaking of WUA, fuck all yall who didn't buy the book of the baldening. That shit is money.

[Surlyboi]

Fuck Middle America and anyone that votes based on "rah-rah, my team is better than your team" lines of thinking.

Fuck California for being a state truly controlled by the mob. Also, fuck it for taking my baby from me for three weeks out of every holiday season.

Fuck New York for being the only place I can live for any length of time without getting stabby.

Fuck anyone that uses the terms "socialist" and "fascist" in the same breath and thinks they're synonymous.

Fuck the American right for either not realizing how far beyond the pale they've gone, or if they do realize it, embracing the crazy/stupid fully and running with it.

Fuck anyone that makes excuses for that shit.

Fuck the American left for not having the message discipline and the cohesion that the right does when it comes to getting important shit done.

Fuck Sarah Palin in particular and the fucking news media that gives credence to an attention-whoring twat that has essentially reduced political discourse to facebook and twitter posts.

Speaking of which, FUCK. TWITTER. Fuck it and all the twats that use it. It's not a fucking revolution in communication, it's a goddamn regression. 148 characters is just enough to let us all know how fucking insipid you are, you fucking self-involved douchenozzles.

Fuck anybody and everybody that espouses the attitude of "I got mine, fuck you". We all live on the same goddamn planet and we all live with each other. Keep getting yours without looking out for the less fortunate and sooner or later, the poor will gather the balls to rise up and fucking kill you.

Fuck anyone that thinks being poor is simply a matter of not applying oneself.

Fuck anyone that bitches about paying too much in taxes. You don't want to pay taxes? Move to fucking Zimbabwe.

Fuck Infinity Ward for not dancing with the ones that brung ya.

Fuck anybody and everybody on this board that takes themselves too seriously, including me.

[Hoax]

Fuck all this nothing to do with f13 airing of grievances bullshit.  I'm so disappointed with this thread so far.

[Triforcer]

EDIT:  Fuck myself for posting in the wrong thread.

[Surlyboi]

Fuck you Hoax. And your little dog too.

[WindupAtheist]

Fuck all this nothing to do with f13 airing of grievances bullshit.  I'm so disappointed with this thread so far.

This.

If one more person sanctimoniously "airs their grievance" with "mean Republicans" even my lefty heathen ass is going to hork. They're bad, we know. STFU. SnakeCharmer, the fucking stimulus package "for costing blah blah per blah" or whatever you said? Really? That isn't a fucking grievance, that's you fagging up the Festivus thread.

[Nerf]

Fuck my current school for dragging ass on sending my transcripts out, and fuck UTA for having a better application system.

Fuck the possibility of having to take a semester off.

Fuck all you bitches who don't want to play Eve, I need more cannon fodder!

And fuck Zales.com for sitting on an order for six fucking days without shipping it.

[Surlyboi]

Fuck you fags whining about fagging up a thread that by definition is fagged from go.

Fuck WUA for being WUA.

Fuck Nerf for being a gun-crazy fucknut, yet funny as shit when it comes to all things EVE. You confuse me with your depth.

Fuck Triforcer for going to Japan and hooking up with one of the local women. They're ours, roundeye, OURS.

Fuck Rendakor for not updating his stupid fucking zombie story for like, ever.

Fuck Gutboy Barrelhouse because, seriously, what the fuck? Do you even read the shit you post? Or is your body possessed by the spirit of inanity and it forces you to type fucktardery of the highest order?

Of course, most of my ire is only half-hearted, because well, it's 5AM and I'm tired.

[WindupAtheist]

That's more like it! 

[stray]

Fuck Triforcer for going to Japan and hooking up with one of the local women. They're ours, roundeye, OURS.

Yeah, but I'm sure it won't be easy for him. I actually... wish him luck!   If she's hasn't made him her bitch yet she will. Anyone who believes in the "geisha" subservient stereotype has hell coming for them. For fuck's sake, run away now. The stereotype is more akin to the landlady in Kung Fu Hustle. Only thing worse than an Asian woman is an Asian woman from Asia. Except my mom, of course. ^_^

[Surlyboi]

True. But hey, she'll turn him out and it'll be awesome. He's already a bit of a bitch anyway.

[stray]

I don't want to beat him up too much though. No doubt he lost job solely because of simple race issues. Japanese are shamelessly xenophobic. But that's hilarious that he didn't even know that. A chick at a workplace no less, right in front of everyone. lol

[Triforcer]

I wasn't fired- I had already left when I was scheduled to leave (one year job, new person just graduated from my law school replaces me, etc. etc.).  And to be fair, they gave her quite a generous leaving bonus package- more than if she'd worked for the next five months and then left as we had planned anyway.

Our particular boss had celebrated a different lawyer/secretary marriage in his firm- we think he reacted negatively to ours because my fiance was his personal secretary and we dated secretly for a year before telling him.

Oh, and fuck everyone who thinks our relationship won't work!!   

[Surlyboi]

Did we say it wouldn't last? You're just gonna be her bitch.

It will be awesome.

[Mosesandstick]

That's the very definition of a working relationship by Asian standards.

[Sir T]

Fuck all you guys in working relationships 

[bhodi]

It's almost time to wrestle schild to the ground. You'd better hurry.

[stray]

Oh, and fuck everyone who thinks our relationship won't work!!   

Actually, I hope it does. There's lots to problems that can arise, but good luck. There needs to be more hapas like me and surlyboi.

You will be her bitch though, either way.

[Signe]

What the hell is wrong with you people?

[Numtini]

SOE: What the hell were you thinking with the Odus thing. The hints of Velius lit a fire in the game and there was more enthusiasm than I'd seen for years and your actual announcement sucked all the oxygen out.

Riot Games: Thanks bunches for making a game I absolutely love, can't stop playing, and absolutely completely suck at. (Seriously, if you pug and see me on your team, just DC. I'm that bad and I can't stop myself.)

The US Government: Just resign all of you. The best of you is useless, the rest are worse than useless.

The media: just once I want you to look at the person you're interviewing and state that they're lying. You know it. We know it. Why do you continue to go along with the DC business as usual nonsense. Do your jobs.

Old people at work: Get off my LAN! We offer wonderful retirement benefits. Please God, take advantage of them.

The airlines: I kept my shoes on, was escorted to a nice roomy comfortable seat and spent two wonderful days watching the country go by on a train. I am so so done with you and your

[Oban]

Fuck criticism.

Fuck negative thoughts.

[Margalis]

I don't have many complaints other than that last night some Northwest employees were having trouble finding a seat for a black woman and refused to put her in an open first class seat because she "wasn't eligible," then solved the problem by having a randomly chosen white guy move to first class and giving her his seat. Then called security when she complained to try to get her thrown off the plane because of her "attitude."

Fuck Northwest.

Fuck whoever banned Broughden, I liked him.

Fuck Dante's Inferno, for being an insulting joke on every level. And Fuck IW and in particular their catering to the mouthbreather XBL crowd with their "FAGS" video.

Other than that Merry Christmas you old savings and loan.

[schild]

I don't have many complaints other than that last night some Northwest employees were having trouble finding a seat for a black woman and refused to put her in an open first class seat because she "wasn't eligible," then solved the problem by having a randomly chosen white guy move to first class and giving her his seat. Then called security when she complained to try to get her thrown off the plane because of her "attitude."

rofl