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Author Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow  (Read 407546 times)
Engels
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inflicts shingles.


Reply #420 on: January 12, 2010, 09:30:28 AM

Classification of mental conditions is a diagnostic tool meant to be of some limited help to psychologists and psychiatrists. However, the first thing you learn going to any undergraduate psych 101 course worth its salt is that the DSM IV is entirely useless in a therapeutic environment. Its simply meant to quickly convey a series of symptoms observed. Its never meant to provide a snapshot of an individual as a whole.

Unfortunately, it has rapidly turned into a pop culture mechanism whereby we can pigeon-hole others, and indeed, ourselves into readily digestible personality formats that allow us to be mentally lazy about dealing with others and ourselves. We love easy answers that allow us to sit in front of the tube with our conscience unperturbed. Be it the War on Terror or some facile belief in the use of medication to solve all our mental anguish, we are too busy a society to stop and lead a reflective life anymore.

Individuals are not afflicted by mental conditions in the same way that we're afflicted by physical ailments. We do love us some mechanistic view of the universe, tho, so if we can just tighten this screw here, lube that depression up nice and slick, we'll squeeze by with an unexamined life of comfortable misery.


I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
LK
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Reply #421 on: January 12, 2010, 09:50:09 AM

I feel like posting but you're right, I'm an attention whore too. It disgusts me. That's one negative label I'll not deny or shy away from.

I've gone through a range of emotions in this thread that lack consistency. It's why you're seeing my responses vary. I'm not some politician sticking to a platform. I'm a muddled human being wrestling with multiple severe issues.

I don't like what I've written, and it pains me to look at, seeing now the responses I'm getting. But I don't really think about it when I write it. I just write what I feel.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
LK
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Reply #422 on: January 12, 2010, 09:55:13 AM

I am fully aware of why you are begging for attention. I am asking how you can beg for attention while simultaneously claim to be a psychotic whacko who does not give half a fuck about people or attention.

I care about you guys in my whacked up world view and am trying to earn your acceptance, and failing miserably. As I pointed out earlier, every conversation feels like I'm being tested on my worth. When I'm out amongst people, I'm usually focused on something and don't care. When I visit these forums, it's about contributing, and most if not all the contributors offer something unique, appealing, and entertaining, even if its negative (bloodworth, grunk, Broughden before he went off the fucking deep end) that keeps them posting.

I'll get that diagnosis, and its next week. Seems the perfect way to end this thread.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
Sky
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I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #423 on: January 12, 2010, 09:58:32 AM

Have you been banned? You have our acceptance. Don't be so tough on yourself, don't hide behind false barriers, or even real ones. If you do have some disorder, use it as a strength to overcome adversity, not as an excuse.
LK
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Reply #424 on: January 12, 2010, 10:18:06 AM

In the banned's defense, you have to be a gibbering retard or have a long history of stupidity a la Dash / Broughden to get banned. Otherwise you might be kept around as a toy. That isn't acceptance.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2010, 10:21:19 AM by Lorekeep »

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
Big Gulp
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Reply #425 on: January 12, 2010, 10:20:29 AM

In the banned's defense, you have to be a gibbering retard or have a long history or stupidity a la Dash / Broughden to get banned. Otherwise you might be kept around as a toy. That isn't acceptance.

I piss off everybody around here on a regular basis.  I've been on one version or another of these forums since Lum was running things.  I've stayed at Schild's house, for fuck's sake.

Stop looking for acceptance so damned much.  You've over 2000 posts.  I'm pretty sure you're there.
schild
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Reply #426 on: January 12, 2010, 10:23:19 AM

Alright, I've had enough of this line of talk - Lorekeep, here's the deal. Stop being a pussy. Life's tough, get a helmet.
Ironwood
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Reply #427 on: January 12, 2010, 10:31:43 AM

We could have a long discussion about ADD or we could do something else.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
schild
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Reply #428 on: January 12, 2010, 10:32:31 AM

Sometimes even subtle jokes aren't funny.
LK
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Reply #429 on: January 12, 2010, 10:33:27 AM

We could have a long discussion about ADD or we could do something else.

awesome, for real

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
Sky
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I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #430 on: January 12, 2010, 11:10:59 AM

Sometimes even subtle jokes aren't funny.
You broke your humerus.
Mrbloodworth
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Reply #431 on: January 12, 2010, 11:15:33 AM

bloodworth

I CONTRIBUTE! woot! Negative though? Humm..
« Last Edit: January 12, 2010, 11:23:55 AM by Mrbloodworth »

Today's How-To: Scrambling a Thread to the Point of Incoherence in Only One Post with MrBloodworth . - schild
www.mrbloodworthproductions.com  www.amuletsbymerlin.com
schild
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Reply #432 on: January 12, 2010, 11:21:13 AM

Sometimes even subtle jokes aren't funny.
You broke your humerus.
:brickface:

Get a hobby.
Azazel
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Reply #433 on: January 12, 2010, 01:52:53 PM

Lorekeep - serious question regarding your Aspergers. Medically/clinically diagnosed or self-diagnosed?

Self-diagnosis (I KNOW LOL RIGHT?) working on professional diagnosis this month. But I hit all the symptoms, every single one, right down to repetitive motion and trouble sleeping. It would take a mountain of evidence otherwise to convince me of something else.

Meh. I teach people who have Autism, including some Aspies.

Though people without an ID always seem to want to claim that they have AS with HFA. One of my co-workers has decided that he has AS, and also that I have AS. While I smile politely and nod for his benefit, it's clearly inaccurate because, I, you know, have fucking empathy (being a cock on the internet notwithstanding). Hey, ASD is a spectrum, and lots of people hit some (or a lot) of the markers. But I think it is often WAAAAAAY over self-diagnosed by guys on the internet and then used as a crutch/excuse of self-reinforcement.

Not saying you're doing that, I don't know you well enough to have an opinion. But fuck, even if you do actually have AS, use it to explain shit to yourself, not as a shield or badge of honor.


Hey, if you're bored, give yourself the baron cohen autism test when you get bored. There's a few of them online. Answer honestly instead of giving the answers which will say "YES, I AHVE THE AUTISM!"

http://azazelx.wordpress.com/ - My Miniatures and Hobby Blog.
Azazel
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Reply #434 on: January 12, 2010, 02:16:51 PM

Woot. Response to shit from 3 pages ago looks dated by the time I readcatchup!

 awesome, for real




edit - time to go look up that Butters Episode from Southpark!
« Last Edit: January 12, 2010, 02:19:26 PM by Azazel »

http://azazelx.wordpress.com/ - My Miniatures and Hobby Blog.
stray
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has an iMac.


Reply #435 on: January 12, 2010, 03:21:45 PM

I would agree that mental illness diagnoses can be bullshit.... But I've seen some genuinely sick people, and had to spend a good deal of time with some in the past. I would never write off psychology/psychiatry totally. There's another category of being "situationally" crazy, or depressed, or at a loss in some way.. And that's different. Like some people are saying, you can unscrew yourself out of bad situations -- be it through changing environment, worldview, something. I would offer my sympathy to these people too -- everyone's got some shit to deal with. I just wouldn't encourage them to accept some "permanence" in the idea that they are ill, regardless of situation. And it's hard to even get to the subject of "illness" if they haven't seen a doctor yet. That's expecting too much, to want anyone to just fall down and excuse you just because you say so. And then raging about slicing their throats if they don't. We're the assholes???
stray
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Reply #436 on: January 12, 2010, 03:38:40 PM

baron cohen autism test



[edit] Actually, Borat would have been better. It's all ruined now..  Ohhhhh, I see.
LK
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Reply #437 on: January 12, 2010, 03:42:30 PM

I never said I'd slice the throat of someone who didn't excuse me. I said I'd slice the throat of someone who laughed in my face about my problems and disrespected me in a fashion that I could violently react and show them the error of their ways.

You know there's people out there that won't respect you until you prove you're "stronger", usually through fear of reprisal. Alpha Male syndrome or whatever. The internet removes that fear; hence, disrespect is abundant, because, what are you going to do, choke me through my monitor?

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
schild
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Reply #438 on: January 12, 2010, 03:44:09 PM

Once again, violence in your particular situation given what people would "laugh in your face about" would only hurt your case.

Even joking about it here only hurts your case.
LK
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Reply #439 on: January 12, 2010, 03:46:56 PM

baron cohen autism test

I thought we did that as a group or something on here. Anyway, 31, right below 32 which is the threshold where most people with Autism tend to score, and way above 16.4, the average.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
LK
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Reply #440 on: January 12, 2010, 03:48:03 PM

Once again, violence in your particular situation given what people would "laugh in your face about" would only hurt your case.

Even joking about it here only hurts your case.

Remind me what my case is because I'm losing track.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
stray
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Reply #441 on: January 12, 2010, 04:10:34 PM

Heh lets all take it. I like tests ;)

Score: 4

It's safe to say I'm on some different end of the spectrum to you Lorekeep.. From the questions it asked though, a lot of "introverted/focused" stuff doesn't strike me as "not normal". Again, I don't know much about Asperger's, but the world takes all types. Why does there have to be an illness created for focused introverts? Is there something more to it? Perhaps if you were in some high ass range, you'd be Rain Man I suppose. 16 seems OK enough. And I mean that in a good way, honestly. On my end, I get accused of not having enough focus. I switch jobs a lot, I'm jump around a lot in conversation, I get restless just sitting around. I guess if I wanted to I could say I had ADD.  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

[edit] Oops my bad. 16 is avg, and you're 31. Hmm <scratches chin>
« Last Edit: January 12, 2010, 04:18:39 PM by stray »
schild
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Reply #442 on: January 12, 2010, 04:11:14 PM

You think you're broken, and somehow trying to put that into words.

Yet you aren't already at a doctor, you haven't seen a shrink about it as far as I can tell, and you're self-diagnosing.

When really, despite the propensity for violence, odds are you just don't have enough practice being social. Were your parents social people? Don't answer that, just use your benefits to see a shrink.

Edit: I don't mean this in a bad way, because honestly, it's the better of the two scenarios. But there's a fair chance you're just stupid and terrible in social situations. That's absolutely fine. Speaking as someone with an autistic cousin, I'd rather be stupid and normal than be brilliant and not be able to enjoy it.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2010, 04:17:10 PM by schild »
Ingmar
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Reply #443 on: January 12, 2010, 04:21:09 PM

Also, if you really do have a rage problem and commonly threaten to stab people, or think about it, seek help today, not 'eventually'. If your response to a negative social interaction is to hulk out, there's a deep problem that needs addressing before you get yourself in trouble.

If you don't, stop tossing around lines talking about stabbing people, that isn't going to get anyone anywhere to want to help you. And it isn't funny, or even quirky-funny.

The Transcendent One: AH... THE ROGUE CONSTRUCT.
Nordom: Sense of closure: imminent.
Signe
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Muse.


Reply #444 on: January 12, 2010, 05:41:04 PM

Think of me as your sweet old auntie and I'll give you some sweet old auntie advice. 

Don't worry.  You're just a boy.  You have plenty of time.  It'll sort itself out.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
schild
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Reply #445 on: January 12, 2010, 05:47:16 PM

Don't worry.  You're just a boy.  You have plenty of time.  It'll sort itself out.

This is why sweet old Auntie's can't be trusted.
Signe
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Muse.


Reply #446 on: January 12, 2010, 05:55:28 PM

Although we might give out faulty advice, you know you can trust me with your deepest, darkest secrets.  Srsly.  You can. 
Go on, then.  The darker, the better. 

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
LK
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Reply #447 on: January 12, 2010, 06:15:49 PM

Sometimes, when I see about your avatar, I look like Sky's (old -.-) avatar.  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
shiznitz
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the plural of mangina


Reply #448 on: January 12, 2010, 06:15:56 PM

Think of me as your sweet old auntie and I'll give you some sweet old auntie advice. 

Don't worry.  You're just a boy.  You have plenty of time.  It'll sort itself out.

I am kind of in this camp. I never had a serious relationship until an EQ friend made a remark in game about my childhood that cracked open a memory* that released a floodgate of emotion that then allowed me to open up to others. I fell in love and got married within a year.


* My longtime childhood friend basically abandoned me in 6th grade to pursue girls way before I was ready and I had repressed that rejection but still let it prevent me from bonding with anyone seriously after that.

I have never played WoW.
Selby
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Reply #449 on: January 12, 2010, 06:29:43 PM

Also, if you really do have a rage problem...
I had a rage problem for years.  Never actually did anything physical or verbal, but I would blow up at a minute's notice over little things and get very angry about some perceived transgression somewhere.  The doctors had me on so many different medications trying to "cure" me it was ridiculous (and they either made me so tired I didn't do anything or REALLY angry).  Finally got on the right diagnosis after seeing 6 different "specialists" and drug combo to make things all better.  That combined with just accepting that my family has anger management issues (that either blow over extremely quickly or turn into 50 year grudges) and accepting me for myself (however lame and as much bullshit it sounds like) has made me a much more pleasant person to be around.  And I didn't even need marijuana to mellow out!  My ex even commented over Thanksgiving and Christmas that I'm fun to be around again and she says I should have done this years ago.
Sjofn
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Truckasaurus Hands


Reply #450 on: January 12, 2010, 10:19:31 PM

Heh lets all take it. I like tests ;)

Score: 4


I got a 12, whee!

My main thing is that I am good at socializing, but I don't really go out of my way to do it. Ingmar usually has to drag me kicking and screaming to parties, but once I'm there, I don't think anyone can tell I'd rather be at home.

God Save the Horn Players
Margalis
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Reply #451 on: January 12, 2010, 10:52:46 PM

Quote
When I visit these forums, it's about contributing, and most if not all the contributors offer something unique, appealing, and entertaining, even if its negative (bloodworth, grunk, Broughden before he went off the fucking deep end) that keeps them posting.

I offer handsomeness and leet programming skills. That's two things!

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
MahrinSkel
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When she crossed over, she was just a ship. But when she came back... she was bullshit!


Reply #452 on: January 12, 2010, 11:23:28 PM

I got a 32.  Which actually didn't surprise me, it's taken years of deliberately cultivating habits towards social engagement and learning to intellectualize things most people do by instinct to become the paragon of social skills you see before you.  In most of my parallel worlds, I do a lot of fingerpainting.

Lorekeep, if you're not trolling us, here's my suggestions: Build on your capacity to empathize with the people right in front of you.  Learn to force eye contact even though it makes you uncomfortable (stare at the center of their brow ridge, if necessary).  Speak clearly, try to avoid using mental shorthand out loud, and if your audience looks confused ask them for advice for how to get back to the same page.  Learn how to tell jokes based on esoteric rules of physics of math, audiences that can spot the punchlines are worth pursuing closer relationships.  Beware of "Likable Scoundrels".

--Dave

--Signature Unclear
Margalis
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Reply #453 on: January 12, 2010, 11:39:44 PM

And brush your teeth before bed.

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
Azazel
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Reply #454 on: January 13, 2010, 02:03:07 AM

baron cohen autism test



[edit] Actually, Borat would have been better. It's all ruined now..  Ohhhhh, I see.


cousins, yo!

yes, for serious.

http://azazelx.wordpress.com/ - My Miniatures and Hobby Blog.
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