Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow

[Endie]

Edit:

And Schild isn't quite right: that version of love is, in the original text, agape: unconditional, self-sacrificing, considered (as opposed to necessarily instinctive) love, as in the love of a parent for a child, or (for example), what we might call the "tender" love of one person for another.  Not eros or philos, but not exclusive of them, either . The chapter it comes from is a Paul speaking in Platonic terms (as in "in the terms of Plato", not "sexless"), borrowing Plato's philosophy, language and ideas about the real and the perceived that most people know from the cave story.  He's specifically not just talking about "I love Jesus" (a couple of sentences on he says "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.")

I appreciate you furthering my point of how easy it is to love.

Don't be snide.  I didn't disagree with you on that.  I thought you were spot-on about the confusion that people were making between love and relationships.  Your definition of "love" was kinda lazy and over-broad in extending to the colloquial.  The usefulness of discussing "I love you" or "I love your hair" in a thread about "relationship-love" are very different, after all.  And you've been on the internet long enough to know that discussions where someone is leaning on the OED are very often just about nit-picking.

[schild]

I wasn't actually being snide.

Edit: And relationships are relationships, love is love. Throwing the two together is a recipe of theoretical bullshit and I wanted to separate the two. And yes, leaning on the dictionary is often about nit-picking, but in this case I wanted people to stop using that shit as synonyms because they fucking aren't.

[NowhereMan]

When Schild says he loves the internet I'm assuming he means it in the sense that he really, really likes it and wants it to stay around.

No, when Schild says he loves the internet, he loves it the same way my Mom does me or my stepdad. I really, really fucking love it. I would not be able to function very well without it. I'd find myself constantly bored and longing for the days of the internet.

Aside from what it gives you why do you love the internet? I can understand saying you love it the same way you love money or a library (it's useful, providing you with entertainment and access to stuff) but are those the same reasons your mom loves you? If you stopped talking to her would she still care about you? Along those same lines if you lost all net access would you keep tabs on it and care about the latest technology upgrade or net fad? It just seems unlikely you really do love it the same way, or at least really weird to love a thing in the same way you love a thing. Now I'll admit you can love a thing as much as a person but they seem to involve fundamentally different sorts of ways of loving something (for instance people who love their cars versus people who Love their cars and get to star in shitty documentaries on freaks)

fakeedit: Wholly crap this thread is moving quickly.

[Samwise]

fakeedit: Wholly crap this thread

Freudian slip?   

[schild]

If you stopped talking to her would she still care about you?

Yes, and if the internet stopped talking to me, I'd still care about it.

We can wax poetic about love all we want, but really, love is love - it's easy and it can be applied to almost anything and we got dangerously close, in this thread, to making love out to be this untouchable thing that's some complication of the heart and mind when it really isn't. "Relationship-Love" as Endie said it a few posts up isn't love. It's a relationship. Love can lead to such a thing, but it doesn't intertwine the two words if you want to apply any logic to it whatsoever. They aren't mutually exclusive, nor are they necessary for the other to exist.

[Endie]

I believe that an old-fashioned term is a companion-marriage.

[schild]

Here is Danzig doing Scream from Famous Monsters back in 1991 or so. Yea, Famous Monsters was written back then and not released til Graves did the vocals. Anyway, enjoy.

Scream.

I like the Graves stuff more.

Edit: By mistake wrote Doyle instead of Danzig.

Edit: Turns out this is an early, early cut with Graves channeling Danzig before doing his own thing for Famous Monsters. /shrug, this album is all over the map, not surprised Danzig and Only refused its release.

[stray]

Still better than any shit I could write, whoever it is. 

[schild]

I would like to say that this album, Cuts from the Crypt, should've been released.

I love it. Even if the vocals are performed by 4 different people and there's no logical progression.

[Musashi]

Did you just start a mixed tape to give to the internet?  Did that just happen?



Also, I didn't really expect this thread to deliver.  But did it ever.

[schild]

No, Cuts from the Crypt is an unreleased album of demos and early cuts of various stuff spanning the entire history of The Misfits.

[Tale]

It would be nice to go out on a successful date with a beautiful woman that leads to something passionate and brief.

Be careful what you wish for. Late last year, I went on an incredibly successful date with an impossibly beautiful and intelligent woman I'd known for a year, that led to something intense, passionate, lasting only a few weeks. She was angry at the world and before I knew it, this came to include me, leaving me broken and alone. Bring on the internet dating.

[Montague]

My wife and I had a "relationship at first sight" deal. It was rather awkward since she was dating my best friend at the time. 

[stray]

It would be nice to go out on a successful date with a beautiful woman that leads to something passionate and brief.

Be careful what you wish for. Late last year, I went on an incredibly successful date with an impossibly beautiful and intelligent woman I'd known for a year, that led to something intense, passionate, lasting only a few weeks. She was angry at the world and before I knew it, this came to include me, leaving me broken and alone. Bring on the internet dating.

Seriously.. What a fucked up thing to wish for. I guess he needs to try it himself though. 

[Sir T]

I don't believe love can happen to me because I can't see how anyone would be interested in me.

I had one really serious relationship. I met her on the internet, in a muse. We hit it off immediately, and I fell in love with this person in text almost immediately. But it was a very long distance relationship. Eventually we met up and Yeah it was great. But the thing is, when we were together she never told me she loved me (except once when she was drunk). She insisted we were friends that were having sex. When we were apart she said she loved me all the time... until we met again and this look came into her face and she insisted we were really friends again. Eventually she told me she could not see me again as she had to give herself totally to her Uni career and had no time for a relationship. 2 weeks later she was happily shaked up with another guy who she married.

So I learned from that that people can love me on the internet, like the clever way I use words and other things. But not the real me, not the person you would meet in the flesh. Nothing in the following 12 years has changed that conclusion.

[schild]

Emo Poetry Jam, featuring Sir T.

[stray]

On the brightside, he bagged her. Obviously he had something going on in "real life", not just the internet.

[Sir T]

Emo Poetry Jam, featuring Sir T.

Everyone else is contributing to this thread.

[schild]

Emo Poetry Jam, featuring Sir T.

Everyone else is contributing to this thread.

So, why can't you? Is that what you wanted to ask?

[Endie]

So I learned from that that people can love me on the internet, like the clever way I use words and other things. But not the real me, not the person you would meet in the flesh. Nothing in the following 12 years has changed that conclusion.

As a part-Greek Neo-Platonist I'm going to have to say that the "real" you isn't the bag of meat and bones that you define it to be.

Of course, that doesn't mean that you should send high-angle, high-contrast myspace pictures of yourself to girls because "the physical me doesn't matter in this context."  Some people still live in the cage.

[Endie]

Also boo-yah you fucked dat bitch, homes.

[stray]

Not sure if you're being facetious Endie, but I'm serious. How could he go 12 years thinking he only has qualities "from a distance", when the fact is, he had some kind of physical relationship. Something worked at least.

[Endie]

Not sure if you're being facetious Endie, but I'm serious. How could he go 12 years thinking he only has qualities "from a distance", when the fact is, he had some kind of physical relationship. Something worked at least.

I was being very serious in a light-hearted manner.  I was saying just what you were.

[Montague]

I don't believe love can happen to me because I can't see how anyone would be interested in me.

I had one really serious relationship. I met her on the internet, in a muse. We hit it off immediately, and I fell in love with this person in text almost immediately. But it was a very long distance relationship. Eventually we met up and Yeah it was great. But the thing is, when we were together she never told me she loved me (except once when she was drunk). She insisted we were friends that were having sex. When we were apart she said she loved me all the time... until we met again and this look came into her face and she insisted we were really friends again. Eventually she told me she could not see me again as she had to give herself totally to her Uni career and had no time for a relationship. 2 weeks later she was happily shaked up with another guy who she married.

So I learned from that that people can love me on the internet, like the clever way I use words and other things. But not the real me, not the person you would meet in the flesh. Nothing in the following 12 years has changed that conclusion.

I'd say your lack of self-esteem has more to do with the following 12 years than anything. Confidence is attractive.

[Sjofn]

Yeah, "No one will ever love me because something is wrong with me," is often a self-fulfilling thing. Also, long long long distance relationships are hard as hell, especially if you are not in a place where you can/want to move closer. Just 'cause the relationship ended doesn't mean there was anything wrong with you or what you were like in real life. The fact she saw you in meatspace more than once indicates that pretty strongly to me.

[Sir T]

I guess i'm just jaded

[Evildrider]

I pretty much gave up on relationships when my ex-fiance broke up with me after I had to move back home to take care of my ailing grandfather.

[LK]

Self-fulfilling is true. But breaking the cycle is just as hard as a long distance relationship.

[stray]

Not sure if you're being facetious Endie, but I'm serious. How could he go 12 years thinking he only has qualities "from a distance", when the fact is, he had some kind of physical relationship. Something worked at least.

I was being very serious in a light-hearted manner.  I was saying just what you were.

Gotcha

I'm tired of giving advice, but umm.. I suggest watching Rocky. Maybe Rocky 2. If those don't work, then the Rocky Dennis movie just to really drive it home that shit isn't so bad. 12 years is too long bro.

[Signe]

I don't understand the Rocky bits.   

[stray]

Better to be a sadistic champ than a masochistic wimp.

[edit] Granted, a sadistic champ with a very homely girlfriend.. But hey. He's happy

[Sjofn]

Self-fulfilling is true. But breaking the cycle is just as hard as a long distance relationship.

Yeah, I figure that, given how many people get stuck in it. I don't really blame people for being jaded, I'm pretty sure if Ingmar and I ended poorly I would be devestated for a long time.

[schild]

I guess i'm just jaded

Jaded implies you've had so much of something that you're worn out by it.

Like diku muds.

You aren't jaded, you're intensely inexperienced in reciprocal relationships. I'd err more on the side of "You hate that part of yourself, intensely."

[Musashi]

A couple of these guys just need to realize that the reason they're failing at relationships is that they don't really like other people.  Talk about a deal-breaker.  Once they come to terms with that they'll stop trying so hard to be like everyone else (sheep who let their brain chemistry ruin their lives by tricking them into a 'relationship').  Also, this isn't meant to be funny.  You don't have to like other people.  I don't.  The instant I realized that, I became much more happy.  I also started getting along much better with others, ironically.

[schild]

You don't have to like other people.  I don't.  The instant I realized that, I became much more happy.

This.