Twilight: New Moon

[Pennilenko]

One correction:  Stephanie Meyers wrote these in her 30's.  I guess she just writes like a teenager.

Assuming that it is true that the author is a Mormon. I was raised around a bunch of Mormon women, I can't speak about Mormon women as a whole, but the ones I grew up around were definitely stuck in the mindset of "naive" teenagers. Shit one of my sisters got sucked into it and turned into a baby factory and now has zero personality or any of what she used to be left.

[Pennilenko]

I can't even begin to fathom the stunted emotional state that a woman in her 30s would have to be in to write this nonsense.  It's just soo fucking stupid.

I gonna tell every goon that you went to go see this movie.

[Nerf]

I can't even begin to fathom the stunted emotional state that a woman in her 30s would have to be in to write this nonsense.  It's just soo fucking stupid.

I gonna tell every goon that you went to go see this movie.

Make sure you emphasize the fact that I traded going to see the movie last night for going to see a midget stripper tonight.  I'm pretty sure I still lost out in the end, but I'll eventually only be left with remembering why exactly girls who love Twilight are insane, but midget strippers are forever.

[Pennilenko]

I can't even begin to fathom the stunted emotional state that a woman in her 30s would have to be in to write this nonsense.  It's just soo fucking stupid.

I gonna tell every goon that you went to go see this movie.

Make sure you emphasize the fact that I traded going to see the movie last night for going to see a midget stripper tonight.  I'm pretty sure I still lost out in the end, but I'll eventually only be left with remembering why exactly girls who love Twilight are insane, but midget strippers are forever.

Ohh shit, I didn't read the midget stripper bit, you have redeemed yourself.

  My CEO

[Riggswolfe]

Vampires don't fucking sparkle in the sun. To quote the Vampire Diaries (yeah, I watch it, sue me, I'm married too.) "No, I don't sparkle, I live in the real world where a vampire bursts into flame in the sunlight..."

That said, my homophobic fundamentalist friend loves this series. To the point where he has gotten very upset with my wife and I since we don't even try to hide our scorn for this pile of shit. The man's in his mid-thirties and he thinks this stuff is the shit.

[Merusk]

It lets him be a little girl filled with the love of the one man who understand him.  The cold cruel world doesn't allow that, because then he'd burn in hell, like he should because his family and peers told him so.

[Riggswolfe]

It lets him be a little girl filled with the love of the one man who understand him.  The cold cruel world doesn't allow that, because then he'd burn in hell, like he should because his family and peers told him so.

Yeah, my other friend and I have been telling him he's repressed and used this, among other things, as "proof". We mostly do it to tease him but we also talk on the phone sometimes and one of us will go "do you think? Nahhhh..."

[schild]

I can honestly say if I were standing at a theater with a girlfriend and everything except Twilight was sold out and she was like "Might as well see Twilight" instead of saying "Fuckit, let's get Chinese" I'd break up with her on the spot, right there.

If she was excited that she got to see Twilight, I'd probably hit her.

[Viin]

While it's good to scorn ridicious piles of crap, it's pretty harsh to say you'd dump a girl because she likes something you don't.

I'm pretty sure if my wife had that same attitude, I'd have a number of things she thinks is totally worthless ..

Letsee, like:

video games
mmos in particular
weak fantasy (wheel of time anyone?)
all sci-fi books
table top games
posting on f13

 

[Pennilenko]

While it's good to scorn ridicious piles of crap, it's pretty harsh to say you'd dump a girl because she likes something you don't.

I'm pretty sure if my wife had that same attitude, I'd have a number of things she thinks is totally worthless ..

Letsee, like:

video games
mmos in particular
weak fantasy (wheel of time anyone?)
all sci-fi books
table top games
posting on f13

 

None of those things in your list are as horrible as twilight.

[Morat20]

Sadly my wife is in to all of this shit, she also has a couple of shelves of Laurell K Hamilton stuff to boot. She knows better than to try and take me to a Twilight movie though.

lol. My wife reads that. It's partly my fault. I started flipping through urban fantasy (Dresden Files) and then tried Rachel Morgan when I was desperate for "shit to read during an 8 hour night shift wherein nothing happens". She picked them up, liked the humor in Dresden, liked the female characterizations in the Morgan books, and then grabbed the Anita Blake mostly because I'd showed her the relevant Penny Arcade comic about the Blake books.

She said they didn't start out too bad, but rapidly evolved to a place wherin she feels she MUST read the new books just to see how bad it gets.

My wife's take on this thread was pretty identical to Haemish's. It's porn for women who won't look at real porn because what would their Sunday social group think!.

If your wife, spouse, or other loved one is into it -- my advice is simple. Put up with it, mock it only gently, because lord knows you're certainly into something she finds just as damn lame. :)

[WindupAtheist]

If some girl tried to make me see Twilight, I would brutally punch her in the face.

Not really, I just want to fit in.

[Lakov_Sanite]

I wouldn't get so extreme but I think a girls' opinion of twilight will be my new metric as I date to determine if I should continue or not and no, that's not a joke.

[Soln]

Meyer was indeed 33 when she started her oeuvre.  It's Buffy&Angel meets Kathy&Heathcliff meets Archie&Veronica ...  The woman is obviously really repressed, and has idealized sex.  Never read any of this stuff either.  /shudder

I like that Stephen King said she can't write worth a damn.

[Abagadro]

Considering the original Dracula was all about repressed Victorian sexual mores, I guess things have come full circle except for, you know, Dracula being GOOD and all.

[Soln]

Bram Stoker has a relative who has just released some book apparently.  And yeah, the original Dracula was not pretty...

[Morat20]

Considering the original Dracula was all about repressed Victorian sexual mores, I guess things have come full circle except for, you know, Dracula being GOOD and all.

I don't think any aspect of Victorian society wasn't about sex.

It's why the abstinence movement is pointless. And explains a lot about the obsessions of some groups. If you deny your sexuality, represss it and try to force yourself into some chaste, sexless being --- well, you'll start seeing sex EVERYWHERE.

But yeah, the Twilight books are about sex. Becoming a vampire is about losing your innocence -- about losing your virginity. All it's missing is crying unicorns.

[Nerf]

The midget stripper was totally worth the suffering of Twilight, I even inadvertently pissed off her boyfriend/manager before the show started.  I was outside smoking (what the FUCK dallas, a non-smoking tittybar? Who the fuck ever heard of this fucking shit) and explaining to some guy also left in the cold because of retarded laws that this was midget stripper night, and was on full on "whooo! midget fucking stripper!" mode when some random guy walked up and angrily stated that they prefer the term "little people", and my reply of "No, I'm positive that they like the term midget instead" was met with "Actually, I'm her boyfriend slash manager, and they're little people".

What kind of sick fuck could date that?  It was creepy as shit, like the body of a 3 year old with a normal persons head, I have to wonder if they met via some midget/pedophile dating service.

[Morat20]

What kind of sick fuck could date that?  It was creepy as shit, like the body of a 3 year old with a normal persons head, I have to wonder if they met via some midget/pedophile dating service.

I would actually imagine that pedophiles would have no interest in midgets.

[WindupAtheist]

Best. Derail. Ever.

[NowhereMan]

What kind of sick fuck could date that?  It was creepy as shit, like the body of a 3 year old with a normal persons head, I have to wonder if they met via some midget/pedophile dating service.

I would actually imagine that pedophiles would have no interest in midgets.

Sgt. Hatred and Quiz boy would disagree there

[Lakov_Sanite]

Also, I would totally be called a dwarf. I mean honestly, who doesn't like dwarves?

[Abagadro]

But yeah, the Twilight books are about sex. Becoming a vampire is about losing your innocence -- about losing your virginity. All it's missing is crying unicorns.

Just wait until the whole Bella pregnancy thing gets going in the movies and examined in the pop culture. It's twisted as all get out.

I've never read this shit but living in Utah you get a bunch of it through osmosis.

[Venkman]

Where it gets fun is that it was written by a Mormon teenager

Source? I only ask because my wife doesn't believe you. And that debate with this thread is all I ever need to know about this IP

[Samwise]

Where it gets fun is that it was written by a Mormon teenager

Source? I only ask because my wife doesn't believe you. And that debate with this thread is all I ever need to know about this IP

Googled Twilight, clicked Wikipedia link, clicked link to author.

Twilight was written in 2003, so she was about 30 when she wrote it.  She is definitely a Mormon, though.

[Rasix]

You shouldn't have said anything.  Lazy Darniaq, read the thread.

[Samwise]

You try saying no to those big puppy-dog eyes.

[Riggswolfe]

lol. My wife reads that. It's partly my fault. I started flipping through urban fantasy (Dresden Files) and then tried Rachel Morgan when I was desperate for "shit to read during an 8 hour night shift wherein nothing happens". She picked them up, liked the humor in Dresden, liked the female characterizations in the Morgan books, and then grabbed the Anita Blake mostly because I'd showed her the relevant Penny Arcade comic about the Blake books.

Total derail but my wife and I love the Rachel Morgan books. My wife has read Dresden but I haven't gotten around to it yet. I've got something like 10 books on my night table to work through first and 5 of those are Warhammer volumes which are basically thick books that collect an entire trilogy or more.

[Evildrider]

Meyer was indeed 33 when she started her oeuvre.  It's Buffy&Angel meets Kathy&Heathcliff meets Archie&Veronica ...  The woman is obviously really repressed, and has idealized sex.  Never read any of this stuff either.  /shudder

I like that Stephen King said she can't write worth a damn.

Neither can Stephen King.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Meyer was indeed 33 when she started her oeuvre.  It's Buffy&Angel meets Kathy&Heathcliff meets Archie&Veronica ...  The woman is obviously really repressed, and has idealized sex.  Never read any of this stuff either.  /shudder

I like that Stephen King said she can't write worth a damn.

Neither can Stephen King.

He has his moments but yes, if king is calling you a bad writer, you have problems.

[waffel]

This is teenage girl's Modern Warfare 2.

[Venkman]

You shouldn't have said anything.  Lazy Darniaq, read the thread.

I was asking for his source so I could send it to the wife. Morat doesn't make shit like that up, so I figured I'd rely on his rather than bing* the wrong one.

And with that, I go back to not caring about this IP. As waffel said, it's MW2 for teenage girls, being discussed by the MW2 audience.  

* product placement ftw! They should pay me for this...

[Aez]

Went with GF, my soul survived.  I'd even say New Moon > Last Harry Potter.

The worst part for me was all the retarded promises/oats (most were broken in the next few scenes anyway).
I didn't feel any hate for the lead actor, I don't think he's worst than the others.  Only way you could really shine with such a silly role is by sheer force of personality like Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor in SW.

EDIT : edited for engrish

[Lakov_Sanite]

  Only way you could really shine with his silly role is by sheer personality like Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor  did in SW.

[Oban]

Went with GF, my soul survived.  I'd even say New Moon > Last Harry Potter.

The worst part for me was all the retarded promises/oats (most got broken in the next few scene anyway).
I didn't feel any hate for the lead actor, I don't think he's worst than the others.  Only way you could really shine with his silly role is by sheer personality like Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor did in SW.

Your soul may have survived, but your mastery of the English language appears to have faltered.