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Topic: The Book of Eli (Read 15650 times)
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K9
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7441
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TrailerFallout: The Motion Picture? 
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I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Yes, and it's going to be fucking awesome.
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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Yes, and it's going to be fucking awesome.
Just like "I Am Legend" was? |
A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Yes, and it's going to be fucking awesome.
Just like "I Am Legend" was? Up until the last 15 minutes, I still stand by loving I Am Legend. If you weren't trying and failing to make fun of me, you would've said you hoped it didn't turn out like Doomsday. |
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DraconianOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2905
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If you weren't trying and failing to make fun of me, you would've said you hoped it didn't turn out like Doomsday.
 No - what I would have said is that I hope it's as good as I Am Legend but with a better last 15 minutes. That being said, the trailer didn't spark any fires under my arse. There were some pretty, well framed shots but these were interspersed with two uninspired fight scenes, some dialogue that sounds predictably trite ("Put that hand on me again and you won't get it back!" "Alright, so you want to do it the hard way." - yeah, there's only one way that scene is going to play out.) and a story that may or may not contain the words "prophecy" and "the one". It doesn't help that I don't think I've ever been overly taken with anything that The Hughes Brothers have done. I wouldn't call their films bad just, I don't know, forgettable. From Hell was pretty but bland. Dead Presidents was interesting but dull. Menace II Society was probably their best film and showed a promise I don't think they've ever capitalized on since. The one thing that does pique my curiosity (apart from the cast which is pretty interesting) is that it's written by Gary Whitta who used to be a games journo for a UK Amiga magazine way back when and was one of the people involved in setting up PC Gamer magazine. I was vaguely aware that he was involved with Prey and Gears of War (and Duke Nukem Forever) but hadn't realised he was doing screenplays too. The thing about Doomsday is that it was memorable even if it was for all the wrong reasons. At the moment, my fear for this is that it will make The Postman look like a good film. |
A point can be MOOT. MUTE is more along the lines of what you should be. - WayAbvPar
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Ummm, fuck yeah. Denzel in a post-apocalyptic nightmare action movie? I'm there.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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At the moment, my fear for this is that it will make The Postman look like a good film. Denzel Washington is not Kevin Costner. Thoughts that form sentences like that should never take shape in your mind's eye. Ever. |
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Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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It really really does look like Fallout3. I hope they have a compelling story line, or at least a hot chick in Sexy Sleepware |
I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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Ard
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1887
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The thing about Doomsday is that it was memorable even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
Yeah, I really hate to stick my neck out there like this, but I agree with that statement. I liked Doomsday, but I found I Am Legend forgettable, especially since they somehow yet again, third time going, missed the point of the title of the story. |
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Evildrider
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5521
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The thing about Doomsday is that it was memorable even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
Yeah, I really hate to stick my neck out there like this, but I agree with that statement. I liked Doomsday, but I found I Am Legend forgettable, especially since they somehow yet again, third time going, missed the point of the title of the story. I liked Doomsday more than I Am Legend for sure. I'm even a big Will Smith fan, but that movie sucked balls. Besides Doomsday had the scene where the cannibals were actually jamming out to "Good Thing" by the Fine Young Cannibals. |
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Oban
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Posts: 4662
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Blade + Postman.
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Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
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jason
Terracotta Army
Posts: 85
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Saw a screening of this last night. I thought it was great. Other people in the theater were disappointed. It has some great action scenes, and I thought the plot was fantastic.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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I'm hoping I can go see this tonight. I mean, it's a post-apocalyptic sci-fi western with Denzel as the good guy, Gary Oldman as the bad guy, Mila Kunis as the eye candy, and the last Bible on Earth (cmon, it's obvious even from the trailers) as the MacGuffin. Nothing about that sounds bad.
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Xuri
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1199
몇살이세욬ㅋ 몇살이 몇살 몇살이세욬ㅋ!!!!!1!
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The plot doesn't really make much sense. The last Bible on Earth. Right. Out of the billions that have been made. Yeah...no, sorry - I don't buy it. I'll still watch it though. ;P
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-= Ho Eyo He Hum =-
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Velorath
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The plot doesn't really make much sense. The last Bible on Earth. Right. Out of the billions that have been made. Yeah...no, sorry - I don't buy it. I'll still watch it though. ;P
That's not the silliest part of the movie either, but I still enjoyed it. |
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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The plot doesn't really make much sense. The last Bible on Earth. Right. Out of the billions that have been made. Yeah...no, sorry - I don't buy it. I'll still watch it though. ;P
You run out of toilet paper PDQ in post-apocalyptic society! |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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Fun movie. One minor annoyance for me was that the movie is about a guy who spends his life carrying a Bible around that he supposedly knows backwards and forwards, and all he ever quotes from it are a couple of well-worn psalms.
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gryeyes
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2215
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I dunno the fact its set 30 years in the future and nobody knows what a fucking bible is seems pretty strange.
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jason
Terracotta Army
Posts: 85
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I dunno the fact its set 30 years in the future and nobody knows what a fucking bible is seems pretty strange.
Well, if they did indeed burn all the bibles, anyone under 30 would have never seen one. Not very many people in the movie are over 30. |
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SurfD
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4039
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Yeah, he sort of says that when all the shit hit the fan in the big meltdown event, lots of things (including bibles) as a whole were burned up, and then the masses went around rooting them out and burning them where they could find them as a scapegoat. The fact that Eli is carting around the "last bible in america" (i doubt it is the last one on earth) was pretty easy for me to accept. Maybe it isn't the last one, maybe there are dozens or hundreds of them out there, but finding one could be a whole other problem, what with the majority of the population not being able to read and probably using it for firestarter material or handy butt whipes or something if they did find one, or maybe they are burried under tonnes of rubble in hotels across the world. About the only thing that bugged me about the film, was that he claimed to have been toating this bible around, heading west, for almost THIRTY FREAKING YEARS. I mean, fuck. If a one legged cancer patient can run 2/3 of the way across canada in less then a year, how the hell does ANYONE manage to take 30 years to cross the states. I bet you could crawl from one end of the country and back again and still not even come anywhere close to that amount of time. |
Darwinism is the Gateway Science.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Just saw it, liked it.
Movie was so fucking gorgeous I'll pick it up on blu-ray.
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Prospero
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1473
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I loved when he made Zorg faces.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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I couldn't believe he played the EXACT same character again.
When he did that thing near the end I was all "WHERE ARE THE STONES?"
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Nerf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2421
The Presence of Your Vehicle Has Been Documented
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I was really excited that Eli was going to be black jesus when he started getting shot at and shrugging it off, was pretty disappointed when the story fleshed out to just be about normal jesus.
I read a review of Sherlock Holmes where some jesus nut was fuming about this was the most satanic movie he had ever seen, and stormed off 45 minutes into it demanding that hollywood puts some sort of "WARNING: SATAN!" disclaimer on movies. I want a jesus disclaimer.
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kaid
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3113
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Well going across canada in a non post apoctalyptic world were you can buy food and clean water just about every where is just a wee bit easier than moving across the country in a post apocalyptic world. Having to scavange for food/coths/drinkable water every day while avoiding canibals/gangs/bandits its a slightly tougher prospect. Most days you are not going to be covering a whole lot of ground most days you would wind up spending most of your time trying to get the necessities to survive. The time frame did not bother me they said it was 30 years after the flash and that he found the book after the flash after they started to emerge from their shelters so that does not mean he was walking the entire 30 years. As for the last bible in america it may or may not be the last bible but looking at the devastated land scape even the books that people did not burn many would not last due to neglect/weather/fire due to natural causes. Yeah, he sort of says that when all the shit hit the fan in the big meltdown event, lots of things (including bibles) as a whole were burned up, and then the masses went around rooting them out and burning them where they could find them as a scapegoat. The fact that Eli is carting around the "last bible in america" (i doubt it is the last one on earth) was pretty easy for me to accept. Maybe it isn't the last one, maybe there are dozens or hundreds of them out there, but finding one could be a whole other problem, what with the majority of the population not being able to read and probably using it for firestarter material or handy butt whipes or something if they did find one, or maybe they are burried under tonnes of rubble in hotels across the world. About the only thing that bugged me about the film, was that he claimed to have been toating this bible around, heading west, for almost THIRTY FREAKING YEARS. I mean, fuck. If a one legged cancer patient can run 2/3 of the way across canada in less then a year, how the hell does ANYONE manage to take 30 years to cross the states. I bet you could crawl from one end of the country and back again and still not even come anywhere close to that amount of time. |
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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Yeah, as far as he knows its the last bible, is it? who knows but it's hard enough to just find one and that's believable. I mean pre-war books still exist but they're rare enough to net 100 caps a piece.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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ghost
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I have read a couple of reviews that say this isn't so great. Damn them! I shall see it anyway.
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UnSub
Contributor
Posts: 8064
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I read a review of Sherlock Holmes where some jesus nut was fuming about this was the most satanic movie he had ever seen, and stormed off 45 minutes into it demanding that hollywood puts some sort of "WARNING: SATAN!" disclaimer on movies.
If only he'd waited to the end of the film he could have complained that it was all about science. |
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Slyfeind
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2037
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What, he's Jesus? Damn, now I'm kinda spoiled. But that's okay, I'm going to watch it mostly for the visuals and atmosphere.
If it takes me years to explore all of Fallout 3, I can understand why he's taking 30 years to wander across the country. I mean, there's like miniquests and stuff!
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"Role playing in an MMO is more like an open orchestra with no conductor, anyone of any skill level can walk in at any time, and everyone brings their own instrument and plays whatever song they want. Then toss PvP into the mix and things REALLY get ugly!" -Count Nerfedalot
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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What, he's Jesus? Damn, now I'm kinda spoiled. But that's okay, I'm going to watch it mostly for the visuals and atmosphere.
I think it's much more apt to compare him to an Old Testament prophet, as is suggested by the title of the movie. In fact, at no point does he or anyone make any reference to the New Testament, apart from at one point indicating the cross on the book's cover. |
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Nerf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2421
The Presence of Your Vehicle Has Been Documented
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They already had the Old Testament
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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The Old Testament is where it's at. That version of Earth needed a jealous, vengeful god. Not some end of days tale with a hippie prologue.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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When we saw the bookshelf at the end, my first thought was "well wtf, all the stuff he's been quoting the whole movie like he was the last guy who knew it was on the shelf already the whole time". As far as anything he said or did in the entire movie, he might as well have been carrying around the Tanakh himself. The book was only a Christian Bible because it would be recognizable to the audience.
Mind you, it probably wouldn't have been as fun of a movie if he'd been turning the other cheek the whole time. (fakeedit: what schild said)
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MrHat
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Posts: 7432
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
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Teleku
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Posts: 10516
https://i.imgur.com/mcj5kz7.png
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I thought it'd be cool if they reveal at the end of a movie he was carrying around a Koran the whole time. |
"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor."
-Stephen Colbert
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