IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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A Baby's Smile is kinda funny.
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12004
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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Along the theme of the thread... this made me laugh.
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Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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Along the theme of the thread... this made me laugh. That's the guy in my link two posts up.
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lamaros
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8021
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The emails to the guy having a housewarming party are also amusing.
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12004
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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Along the theme of the thread... this made me laugh. That's the guy in my link two posts up. ah shit. I dropped the ball. Sometimes I miss the links. Sry.
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Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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Draegan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10043
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lol
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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Holy crap did he ever nail that guy. The best part is when he pointed out how he was breaking the law calling himself a chaplain, and then it all fell apart.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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Segoris
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2637
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That was pure awesome.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19241
sentient yeast infection
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I lost it at the cactus wearing a hat. Genius.
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lamaros
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8021
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I checked with Carol at the mini golf hut and no pants were found on the fence. I doubt any of that really happened. That looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that. Yes!
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Nerf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2421
The Presence of Your Vehicle Has Been Documented
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I checked with Carol at the mini golf hut and no pants were found on the fence. I doubt any of that really happened. That looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that. Yes! I preferred this bit:
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Segoris
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2637
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I checked with Carol at the mini golf hut and no pants were found on the fence. I doubt any of that really happened. That looks like a dog with a blanket on it. I'm not going to waste anyones time sending an officer out to check that. Yes! That quote was awesome, but with the accompanying picture it went from awesome to Here's something for the cat thread: Due to the abundant supply of cats in the area, I'm surprised bears bother with the trash at all. As I have run over at least four cats this week and one of those did not put up much of a chase
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Khaldun
Terracotta Army
Posts: 15167
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It did a bit but then I thought about some forums I've read while trawling through online sewers of various kinds, and, well, there are at least some people out there who are really like that.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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I read it and it had me in stitches. The end was simple but beautiful.
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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I love the dog in the coat in the car. That had my rolling.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Cadaverine
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1655
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I think I've ruptured something.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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others prefer the company of a woman two KFC family buckets away from upsetting the planet's rotational axis. Dude is awesome.
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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squirrel
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Also, while I was able to persuade the bear to exit my vehicle by pretending to be an old lady looking for her cat, it is now inside my premises. Oh dear - I'm laughing so hard I hurt.
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Speaking of marketing, we're out of milk.
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Arthur_Parker
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5865
Internet Detective
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I am sick to death of dealing with you designers. Being able to draw and dressing like women doesn't make you specialThe Jumping Frog charge relates to an event early on in my career when I made the mistake of offering a client a fixed price for a two hundred page website. Once the design was signed off and the build completed over a three month period, the client requested that each page include a frog jumping around the screen because his wife liked frogs. Purchasing a frog from the local pet store and filming it by holding a camera above and a cigarette lighter behind to persuade it to jump, I spent the next two weeks incorporating it into every page of the website. A few days later, the client described the addition as "very annoying" and requested it be removed and replaced with a 3D animated frog jumping onto the screen, holding a thumb up, and speaking the words "jump on down and grab a bargain." After providing a quote for this, I was informed that the amendments would be made "under the original fixed price or no payment would be made at all." The next day, their home page was replaced with a single image of a frog giving the finger and a voice bubble stating "I jump for cash, bitch." Another one, not sure if his date order is messed up or what on the homepage.
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Sand
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1750
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I just spent the last 4 hours of work time devoted to nothing but reading that guy's blog. He is a genius.
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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Love that site. Catching up on some of the new ones, I like when he puts "tarded" or "dneck" as the subject for his emails.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Oh God, the Chatroulette one. I can't breathe.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353
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"You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work." His son is very advanced.
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"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
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stu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1891
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Haha He sent the Christmas CD to his former boss from a couple posts up. Wow. More proof that you really are a complete dickhead. A whole cd of you humming? I hope you sank a lot of money into this and starve to death. Robert Schaefer , Managing Director
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Dear Diary, Jackpot!
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Arthur_Parker
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5865
Internet Detective
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"YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR TIMESHEETS. EVERYONE DOES."10am Arrived at work. Answered the phone on Simon's desk with "Hello, this is Simon Dempsey speaking. How may I be of help to you?" Told client I would have a pdf to them "as quick as a cheetah."
10.30am Accessed Simon’s computer using his secret password ‘Archmage’ in order to locate and send requested pdf to client. Sent. Read Simon's emails. Replied to his mother regarding her question about what to get Auntie Maureen for her birthday. Recommended jumping castle.
11.30am Attempted to log into Simon's Facebook. Clicked 'send me my password'. Checked Simon's email. Logged into Simon's Facebook.
Changed status to single. Sent Karen a message saying "Ignore the status change. We haven't broken up. I just don't want anyone to know I have a girlfriend."
Looked at pictures Simon uploaded of himself in a boat. Googled the names of the two guys in Miami Vice. Tagged Simon's nipples 'Sony' and 'Chubbs'.
4pm Left for the day.
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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What's with the influx of gold selling idiots today? That said, I like the snarky attitude of this particular one.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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This one is interesting. It seems to be the result of a web search hit on stuff in this thread and then posting a random sentence from those results.
This particular phrase gets one hit, a response to David Thorne's Humming Album. David Thorne is pretty much the inventor of the 'stupid email chain' thing that this thread is about.
So, clever, but not quite there yet.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12004
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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What's with the influx of gold selling idiots today? That said, I like the snarky attitude of this particular one.
They are adapting... Skynet is evolving.
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Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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Nerf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2421
The Presence of Your Vehicle Has Been Documented
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"YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR TIMESHEETS. EVERYONE DOES."10am Arrived at work. Answered the phone on Simon's desk with "Hello, this is Simon Dempsey speaking. How may I be of help to you?" Told client I would have a pdf to them "as quick as a cheetah."
10.30am Accessed Simon’s computer using his secret password ‘Archmage’ in order to locate and send requested pdf to client. Sent. Read Simon's emails. Replied to his mother regarding her question about what to get Auntie Maureen for her birthday. Recommended jumping castle.
11.30am Attempted to log into Simon's Facebook. Clicked 'send me my password'. Checked Simon's email. Logged into Simon's Facebook.
Changed status to single. Sent Karen a message saying "Ignore the status change. We haven't broken up. I just don't want anyone to know I have a girlfriend."
Looked at pictures Simon uploaded of himself in a boat. Googled the names of the two guys in Miami Vice. Tagged Simon's nipples 'Sony' and 'Chubbs'.
4pm Left for the day. Holy fuck, Arthur is posting from THE FUTURE. Can you tell me if I ever found enough time to actually configure my new CMMS software?
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