Zombie Nation

[Hawkbit]

It's not up to you to enforce the rules of the road.  If you're in the 'fast' lane and someone behind you wants to go faster, get the fuck out of that lane.  

Chucklefucks that think they should hold the flow of traffic up because everyone else shouldn't be traveling faster than they do are exactly one half of the problem.  

[Oban]

Chucklefucks that think they should hold the flow of traffic up because everyone else shouldn't be traveling faster than they do are exactly one half of the problem.  

Do not tailgate, problem solved.

[Hawkbit]

Do not tailgate, problem solved.

Don't dryhump the fast lane, problem solved.

[Oban]

See you on the news soon.

[HaemishM]

If I am going even slightly over the speed limit, in the fast lane, and you expect me to move out of the fast lane because you want to go faster, you can suck my hairy left nut. I do not have the energy to waste on you chucklefucks. I will get out of the lane when I goddamn well feel like it. I am already breaking the fucking law, I'm not going to be the one handed a reckless driving ticket because you wanted to go faster. When you have a stroke and die because of all the stress you are placing on yourself in your "quest to progress mankind" by making 1% more money than me, I will gladly seek out your grave so that I can dig you up and anally rape your moldering corpse with a bat engraved with your now depleted bank account number.

Have fun sucking devil cock in hell, slapnuts.

[bhodi]

Slower traffic keep right

How fucking hard is that? You don't need to endanger your life by immediately swerving into the right lane like some deranged pigeon confused by a glass window, and nothing excuses the nascar-esque tailgating of douchebags, but seriously - try to have some consideration for other people. If someone (like me, occasionally) does a quick flash of their brights as they come up on you, do the right thing.

[HaemishM]

If you flash me, that's fine - it's the driving equivalent of a polite request. If you just want to hump my bumper like I'm the chick your douchefrat ass dosed with a roofie, you can fuck right off to an early grave.

[Hawkbit]

Those signs are all over Ohio's expressways.  Most people get it; a lot of people on these boards don't, which I find odd.  

My commute is max 65 and there's cops all over that route, so traffic doesn't go much over 70-75.  So it sucks when someone humps the fast lane doing 60 because it causes traffic congestion issues but not often wrecks.  

Try driving like that in Chicago, like on I-90.  Sure, it's max 65.  Average traffic is flowing at 90+mph and if you're going 90 in the fast lane you're going to cause a fuckall of a wreck because a lot of other traffic travels at 110+.  

[Rasix]

If someone (like me, occasionally) does a quick flash of their brights as they come up on you, do the right thing.

Bad call.  I've seen you coming up unless you're going so irrationally fast that you're on my ass near instantaneously (seriously, I check my mirrors a lot).  A horn, light flashing, hand waving, or the bird are just going to slow down the inevitable or have me decide that my already speeding ass doesn't need to move quite yet.  I always move over as it's a near necessity living in a town where 3 lanes of traffic going one way is a rarity.

Being a dick isn't going to turn on my revenge button, but it sure is going to put making you happy as a lesser priority. 

As an aside, being a new Dad has reduced my overall speed by about 5mph across the board, even if my kid isn't in the car.

[Hindenburg]

I check my mirrors a lot.

You're the exception.

[bhodi]

Plus, it's people like you need a punch in the face. If a simple light flash triggers your 'fuck you' response, I'm afraid it's what you deserve. Especially since you've already admitted you're driving slower than usual. Why don't you adapt your driving style to match? Stay in the god damned right lane you prick.

()

[Hawkbit]

Takes two to tango.  Don't put your kid at risk of a road rage accident by failing to yield to faster traffic. 

[Rasix]

I've driven to work twice since my kid was born.  GIVE ME TIME.

Plus, my commute to work is really relaxed.  I left late and was the only person in the left lane for a majority of my 45 minute commute.  Once it shifted from 3 to 2 lanes, there wasn't a single person behind me.

Holy assumptions, batman.  The longest drive my kid has had yet is like 10 minutes to grandma's house.

[NiX]

This thread is all kinds of retarded.

Takes two to tango.  Don't put your kid at risk of a road rage accident by failing to yield to faster traffic.  

And scene.

[Engels]

I take the bus to work. Driving in Seattle will ruin any notion of driving for pleasure. I miss North "First in Concrete!" Carolina sometimes.

[Rasix]

I think he just threatened my son. 

[bhodi]

Now we're going places!  

[Xuri]

Make all cars go at the exact same speed, regulated by built-in speed limits in the road itself. Then let computers steer the cars while the "driver" just sits there holding a useless wheel pretending to drive. Problem solved (though a ton of new problems created - but eh, can't have everything).

[Hawkbit]

I think he just threatened my son. 

Not in any way, shape or form.  I've got a 4yr old daughter and I generally drive much slower (no more than 5 over, usually) with her in the car.  I also yield to faster traffic in the fast lane though, all the time.  

I was speaking generally and seriously.  If me and mine get hurt because I don't yield to faster traffic on purpose, then it's my fault as much as it is the other guy.  

[Hawkbit]

Make all cars go at the exact same speed, regulated by built-in speed limits in the road itself. Then let computers steer the cars while the "driver" just sits there holding a useless wheel pretending to drive. Problem solved (though a ton of new problems created - but eh, can't have everything).

Keep your commie socialist ideals out of this thread.

[Hoax]

The goddamn reality is, nobody should be driving in the left lane in the US, its not for driving in its for passing but somehow you always end up with someone driving 5 miles over the speed limit thinking they are billy badass and going fast enough fucking up the entire system for everyone involved.  If you aren't actively passing something to the right, GET THE FUCK OVER ONE LANE.  But the 1% more income important assholes and the haha fuck you I'm so happy with where I am that I need to get my kicks by actively fucking with people who are in a hurry assholes drive like they are the reason the roads exist.

[kaid]

I rarely drive in the left lane as I drive typically at or only slighty above the speed limit. That does not however stop people from trying to ride my bumper to try to make me go faster so they can then cut the guy in the left lane off to gain a few more seconds on their commute to work. I really do not like tailgaters and unless their is a convienient  semi to drive up their angst in their left lane I just take my foot off the gas until they pass me. If I am going at or slightly above the speed limit and I am in the right lane don't start crawling up on my bumper and if you are weaving in and out of lanes /tailgating/honking I will do my best to find a semi to match speeds with.

[Samwise]

It's not up to you to enforce the rules of the road.  If you're in the 'fast' lane and someone behind you wants to go faster, get the fuck out of that lane.  

Chucklefucks that think they should hold the flow of traffic up because everyone else shouldn't be traveling faster than they do are exactly one half of the problem.  

It's not the fast lane where this is an issue.  The ones that aggravate me to the point of me needing to grief them are the ones that are weaving around across all the lanes of a five-lane highway and cutting people off because they can't wait an extra two seconds for an opening in the passing lane.  When one of those assholes swoops in behind me and starts tailgating me in the hopes that I'll speed up and let him cut off the truck to my left, I feel well within my rights matching velocities with the truck and keeping the asshole wedged there until my exit.  The faster lanes have me to thank for keeping them safe from the asshole for a few extra minutes.  I'm a goddamn hero.

[NiX]

I'm a goddamn hero.

[Grimwell]

Make all cars go at the exact same speed, regulated by built-in speed limits in the road itself. Then let computers steer the cars while the "driver" just sits there holding a useless wheel pretending to drive. Problem solved (though a ton of new problems created - but eh, can't have everything).

This.

But eliminate the wheel and give me a comfortable seat and a nice drink; and perhaps a lady friend to tickle behind tinted windows. Seriosly, I'd be all over computerized cars for the win.

/admission
I do about five over the limit on the highway on normal days. If you are driving faster than me, I try to get out of the way. If you are driving slower than me, I pass you on the left. Once I achieved zen on this life got easy. The one thing about California drivers that blows my mind is passing on the right. I can be rolling down a six lane road with openings to my left and right and people who whip up doing 10 or 20 more than me will almost always pass on the right when the left is just as open. I don't understand that at all.

Now, if I get behind someone who's doing less than the limit, and hogging the left side of a multi-lane highway, I do pass them on the right and grumble about them being a stupid f'er; but then I go back to my ride and focus on being happy that the accident they will cause is behind me.

[TheWalrus]

Why don't you all fuck off? Just get out of my way thats all.


(Figured it was a good summation of the thread so far.)

[Ingmar]

Try driving like that in Chicago, like on I-90.  Sure, it's max 65.  Average traffic is flowing at 90+mph and if you're going 90 in the fast lane you're going to cause a fuckall of a wreck because a lot of other traffic travels at 110+.  

My bullshit detector is going off. People don't drive 110+ down goddamn I-5, there's no fucking way "a lot" of traffic is doing that through Chicago.

[dusematic]

TBH, he never advocated going above the speed limit.

He just said that people acting like assholes while speeding (not just speeding, but speeding like assholes, which is an important distinction) are the driving force behind the progression of mankind.  If that's not an endorsement I don't know what is.

I like how certain people tried to morph this thread into how I think people should drive recklessly and far in excess of the speed limit, and that anyone who doesn't is an inferior worm.

Luckily, reason prevailed.  I didn't think I was saying anything controversial.  

Why don't you all fuck off? Just get out of my way thats all.


(Figured it was a good summation of the thread so far.)

Exac.

[rattran]

Try driving like that in Chicago, like on I-90.  Sure, it's max 65.  Average traffic is flowing at 90+mph and if you're going 90 in the fast lane you're going to cause a fuckall of a wreck because a lot of other traffic travels at 110+.  

My bullshit detector is going off. People don't drive 110+ down goddamn I-5, there's no fucking way "a lot" of traffic is doing that through Chicago.

He must measure in kmph. Much of I90 in Chicago itself is 45. Out in the 'burbs it's 65. People drive about 75 on it in the 'burbs, with the occasional 85+.

[Sheepherder]

My Dad likes to slam his brakes when people ride his tailgate.  Some of his best stories are those where some retarded chucklefuck decided to get out of their vehicle and teach the asshole in the compact car a lesson.  What makes the stories good is that He's ~6'3", 220 pounds, paid for his commercial diver's certification working as a bouncer in a California strip club, and has thicker arms, neck, and torso measurements than the governator in his prime.

Also:

People shamble around like mindless wights with empty expressions and even emptier heads.

Wights, Draugr, and Wendigo don't shamble.

[Samwise]

Luckily, reason prevailed.  I didn't think I was saying anything controversial.  

I thought your first post was completely reasonable in content.  You only revealed yourself as one of The Enemy when you later spoke up in defense of the Beamer-driving right-passing cellphone-yapping cut-offing Mr. Important set, demanding that we peons acknowledge them as the Master Race.  Cat's out of the bag now, motherfucker.

[dusematic]

My Dad likes to slam his brakes when people ride his tailgate.  Some of his best stories are those where some retarded chucklefuck decided to get out of their vehicle and teach the asshole in the compact car a lesson.  What makes the stories good is that He's ~6'3", 220 pounds, paid for his commercial diver's certification working as a bouncer in a California strip club, and has thicker arms, neck, and torso measurements than the governator in his prime.

I hope he gets sued for negligence if he causes an accident.  It'll be REAL funny then.  Slamming on your breaks to "teach someone a lesson">tailgating.

[dusematic]

Luckily, reason prevailed.  I didn't think I was saying anything controversial.  

I thought your first post was completely reasonable in content.  You only revealed yourself as one of The Enemy when you later spoke up in defense of the Beamer-driving right-passing cellphone-yapping cut-offing Mr. Important set, demanding that we peons acknowledge them as the Master Race.  Cat's out of the bag now, motherfucker.

I disagree.  I think we're probably fundamentally in agreement.  Part of my rhetoric is hyperbole as an accoutrement to my rant, and part of it was in response to the hippie dippy notion that it's ok to out-douche someone by "punishing" them by not moving on a green light (i.e. if I'm a zombie why can't everyone be?!).  That's super gay, and fucks with everyone.

[Hawkbit]

Try driving like that in Chicago, like on I-90.  Sure, it's max 65.  Average traffic is flowing at 90+mph and if you're going 90 in the fast lane you're going to cause a fuckall of a wreck because a lot of other traffic travels at 110+.  

My bullshit detector is going off. People don't drive 110+ down goddamn I-5, there's no fucking way "a lot" of traffic is doing that through Chicago.

Nope, that was for real.  Traveling from Upper Minnesota to Ohio, we hit Chicago about 3am and I was scared shitless of how traffic was moving.  Cars and motorcycles were flying by me well over 100 mph, I was doing 90 trying to keep it together.  Damn near the scariest driving situation I've ever been in.  Needless to say, I wasn't in the fast lane.  

[dusematic]

Try driving like that in Chicago, like on I-90.  Sure, it's max 65.  Average traffic is flowing at 90+mph and if you're going 90 in the fast lane you're going to cause a fuckall of a wreck because a lot of other traffic travels at 110+.  

My bullshit detector is going off. People don't drive 110+ down goddamn I-5, there's no fucking way "a lot" of traffic is doing that through Chicago.

Nope, that was for real.  Traveling from Upper Minnesota to Ohio, we hit Chicago about 3am and I was scared shitless of how traffic was moving.  Cars and motorcycles were flying by me well over 100 mph, I was doing 90 trying to keep it together.  Damn near the scariest driving situation I've ever been in.  Needless to say, I wasn't in the fast lane.  

If I'm doing 80-85 mph, I find it amusing when someone wants to pass me, but I let them through.  Follow the white rabbit.  They make good cop-bait.  The only thing that pisses me off is all the times I'm doing a respectable 85 on the interstate, and I let someone go by, and then 20 secodns later I'm passing them again because I'm doing a legit 85 on cruise control, and they were just "caught up in the moment" of passing me.