Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

[pxib]

What the hell is wrong with hollywood?

Got 20 minutes?

[FatuousTwat]

Sorry if this has been posted before, made me laugh.

So, to sum up: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is one of the greatest achievements in the history of cinema, if not the greatest. You could easily argue that cinema, as an artform, has all been leading up to this. It will destabilize your limbic system, probably forever, and make you doubt the solidity of your surroundings. Generations of auteurs have struggled, in vain, to create a cinematic experience as overwhelming, and as liberating, as ROTF.

Women as well as men, everyone watching this film will feel the dissolution of all their certainties, all their illusory grasp on the world... but after you fall into a brazen despair that the walls of reality have become toxic ice cream of a million flavors, you will gasp with a greater realization: that once the world is reduced, forever, to a kaleidoscope of whirling shapes, you are totally free. Nothing matters, effect precedes cause, fish spawn in mid-air, and you can do whatever you want. Let yourself go in your adult diaper, Michael Bay invites you. Feel the music of total excess stir inside your deepest core. It is your Allspark, your cube. And you are a Transformer.

[Oban]

Three times now, lol.

[Abagadro]

Is that some kind of a record for DNRTFT reposts in this short of a thead?

[dusematic]

Did anyone else laugh their fucking asses off when Shia was cumming his pants during the classroom scene?  A solid 10 on the unintentional comedy scale.  Otehr than that, Fox was hot, the explosions were cool, the plot was a block of colby longhorn, and there were scenes that made you feel embarassed for Michael Bay.


Edit:  Have we already discussed the racist vibe?  What about the right-wing vibe?

[stray]

This really wasn't all that bad. Nor was the first.

I also liked Optimus much better in it. I didn't realize how badass he was supposed to be.

[Ironwood]

 

What ?

He's Optimus Fucking Prime.

[stray]

You saw this right?
Anyways, good cgi fights. And explosions. Michael Bay or not, it was entertaining.  

[Lakov_Sanite]

All the transformers just seemed to squishy in general. I mean fuck, the fallen was literally punched through the chest and he was supposedly one of the strongest ones.

[stray]

That's what I'm trying to say though. Optimus just totally assrapes everything in this movie. All decepticons are squishy compared to him. The only reason he seemed squishy is because he had to take on like 4 of them, plus Megatron stabbing him in the back. I think it would follow that the Fallen would get his shit handed to him, seeing that Optimus already being who he is, also took on Jetfire's power. Made for a pretty anticlimactic fight though.

[Broughden]

That's what I'm trying to say though. Optimus just totally assrapes everything in this movie. All decepticons are squishy compared to him. The only reason he seemed squishy is because he had to take on like 4 of them, plus Megatron stabbing him in the back. I think it would follow that the Fallen would get his shit handed to him, seeing that Optimus already being who he is, also took on Jetfire's power. Made for a pretty anticlimactic fight though.

Exactly, Optimus is a "PRIME." He is of the pure race. All the others including the other autobots are weakened due to their impurity. The whole move is a cover for a neo-nazi wet dream about racial purity and shit. Cant you guys see that?

[Ironwood]

I'm still not getting where the confusion is, Stray.

Did you watch any of the old stuff ?  Did you see the original animated movie ?  The one where there was a seige of Autobot city that lasted 7 hours until Optimus arrived and KILLED ALL THE OPPOSITION SINGLE HANDED ?

Prime is simply that.  Best First.

Christ, he's risen from the dead a couple of times now.

[Sheepherder]

Christ, he's risen from the dead a couple of times now.

Like robot Jesus?

[stray]

I remember the movie and the series, but vaguely.. I was probably like 7 then. I remember crying... ironically because Prime got killed. 

But anyways, no.. I didn't realize he could kick everyone's ass so easily.

[Ironwood]

Optimus Prime is the Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel of the Transforming robot world.

[Der Helm]

Just watched it... now THAT was some bad writing.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Optimus Prime is the Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel of the Transforming robot world.

All true...but it makes for a shitty movie.

[Ironwood]

The whole movie was shitty.  Nothing was going to change that.

[Sir T]

Megatrons arrogant blathering was always funny to me considering how often Prime handed him his lungs.

[Ironwood]

That was a different dynamic tho.  The whole point of the Autobots vs Decepticons was that nine times out of ten the Decepticons were going to get trounced.  But the clue is kinda in the name ;  They are sneaky sons of bitches that rely on the peaceful nature of the transformers to gain power.   Bullying, pack oriented nutjobs who rely on scheming to get ahead of the game.  Megatron, for all his power, usually beat the Autobots when he was using his mind and being a sneaky son of a bitch.

If Prime hadn't stepped in to the fight on Autobot City, the war would have been OVER.  Not many people get this.  Megatron had the whole autobot populace stitched up like a kipper and it was only his defeat there followed by the interference of Unicron that saved Autobots from extinction.

Ahem.

[Merusk]

Which is wholly what made Optimus' death so crushing.. and Rodimus that much more aggravating.

[dusematic]

That was a different dynamic tho.  The whole point of the Autobots vs Decepticons was that nine times out of ten the Decepticons were going to get trounced.  But the clue is kinda in the name ;  They are sneaky sons of bitches that rely on the peaceful nature of the transformers to gain power.   Bullying, pack oriented nutjobs who rely on scheming to get ahead of the game.  Megatron, for all his power, usually beat the Autobots when he was using his mind and being a sneaky son of a bitch.

If Prime hadn't stepped in to the fight on Autobot City, the war would have been OVER.  Not many people get this.  Megatron had the whole autobot populace stitched up like a kipper and it was only his defeat there followed by the interference of Unicron that saved Autobots from extinction.

Ahem.

lol

[Ratman_tf]

I still haven't seen this, I'm waiting on DVD, but everything I hear about Prime being a badass in this movie kinda makes me want to cringe. I know how Bay portrays his badass characters... it isn't pretty, and not even funny. Just kinda pathetic.

[WindupAtheist]

That was a different dynamic tho.  The whole point of the Autobots vs Decepticons was that nine times out of ten the Decepticons were going to get trounced.  But the clue is kinda in the name ;  They are sneaky sons of bitches that rely on the peaceful nature of the transformers to gain power.   Bullying, pack oriented nutjobs who rely on scheming to get ahead of the game.  Megatron, for all his power, usually beat the Autobots when he was using his mind and being a sneaky son of a bitch.

If Prime hadn't stepped in to the fight on Autobot City, the war would have been OVER.  Not many people get this.  Megatron had the whole autobot populace stitched up like a kipper and it was only his defeat there followed by the interference of Unicron that saved Autobots from extinction.

Ahem.

Ironwood can run around calling everyone cunts all he wants, I'll still love him because he fucking gets Transformers: The Movie.

[dusematic]

lol

[WindupAtheist]

I am not being ironic.

[stray]

I still haven't seen this, I'm waiting on DVD, but everything I hear about Prime being a badass in this movie kinda makes me want to cringe. I know how Bay portrays his badass characters... it isn't pretty, and not even funny. Just kinda pathetic.

It isn't cheesy or anything like that. I really wouldn't Bay per se either. It's just good CG for a few brief scenes. Otherwise, the character is still the same Prime he was in the first movie. Which wasn't all that bad either.

[edit] The only glaring problem with these movies imho is that the transformers are virtually indistinguishable from each other.. Outside of Bumblebee and Optimus..and maybe a couple of others, I can't make them out well.

[angry.bob]

This movie was full of poop and fail. Not only do all but a few of the transformers look alike in robot form, the robot forms make no sense for any sort of combat. They're covered with tiny, moving delicate parts. Even made out of fabulous space alloys that not even the Mooninites can comprehend that shit would get bent like crazy. Post-fight, all those guys would work about as well as two pocket watches that you took the cases off of and banged together by taping them to the heads of a couple of hammers.

[WindupAtheist]

Just watched it. It was terrible.

I was in "Wow this doesn't make ANY fucking sense but whatever, I'll just turn my brain off and enjoy!" mode for like the first half. Then they got to Egypt and it just turned into this TEDIOUS LABORIOUS GOD DAMN ENDLESS battle sequence that just went on and on and fucking on for the entire rest of the movie.

There were HUGE segments of shit that belonged on the cutting room floor and which only served to bloat the movie out to way longer than it had any reason to be. Endless whirligig fights where you couldn't tell anyone apart, long bullshit wanking to every single piece of military hardware in the US arsenal... fuck. I have never been that bored looking at that much destruction.

It was completely fucking stupid. But I was prepared for stupid. What I'm not able to stomach from this movie is the fact that it's FUCKING BORING.

[Ragnoros]

This movies honestly does not deserve the words, but anyway. Yeah it was bad. Really bad, like I really can't think of another movie that failed so dramatically on so many fronts.

But beyond being bad it was just incredibly lazy and amateur. Towards the end of the movie (on blueray) the aspect ratio changed several times between scenes going into and out of letterbox, I mean seriously, you couldn't keep the aspect ratio consistent, that was too hard? Also some of the CGI sequences (especially later in the film) were clearly half finished or done on the cheap, as they looked absolutely horrible, like made for TV SyFy movie horrible.

Fuck! I could go on for pages about how broken this movie is. Instead I will give you all my theory about it's existence. I believe that someone, with the help of Hollywood and Micheal Bay, is attempting to find out just how incredibly bad a movie has to be for America to reject it. Or if they can simply cram enough explosions, sex, and crude humor into two hours and no one will ever care.

Fake Edit: There is one failure that I must mention. The racist twins. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?  What in Gods name were they thinking? From earlier posts I had assumed they would be a one shot gag, over in seconds and forgotten. But no! They probably have more fucking screen time and dialog then Optimus Prime.

[WindupAtheist]

It played out like bad fanfiction. Exactly like it. The kind where the writer doesn't bother to plot anything out ahead of time and just keeps typing, making shit up as they go along just to connect and justify the handful of "cool" scenes they had in mind.

"Okay there's a Transformer who's been hiding in the Smithsonian for years somehow, that's awesome, and then I want to have a big fight around one of the Egyptian pyramids. Wait, how do I get them to... Fuck it, Transformers can teleport now!"

Which is neither here nor there. What killed it for me was the lack of editing. I like explosions, Michael Bay. Just pick like your hundred best ones and keep the movie down to two hours. I hadn't yawned during that much carnage since Kill Bill.

[Bunk]

It felt like a movie written as a film school class project. "Everyone write your own scene for the movie! It's about robots and a college kid and army guys!" Then they took them all and duct taped them together.

Did we really need 25 minutes of generic American Pie/College Comedy movie jammed in to the middle, just so that we could now have Decepticons become Terminators?

The entire Devastator sequence was inane - obviously shoe horned in just for merchandising and puting him in the trailer. He climbed up the pyramid, purely just so that the Jesus could call in a rail gun strike on him. Cool, ok.

Now, five minutes later in the movie, bad guys on top of the same fucking pyramid, about to destroy the world... Why don't they shoot off that fucking rail gun again?!
 

I love tearing apart bad movies. I think that's why I watch them.

[Riggswolfe]

You know, I enjoyed the first movie alot. This one? It had a few good scenes. That's about the best I can say. G.I. Joe was art compared to this movie and I usually enjoy Bay as a director.

[Ratman_tf]

It felt like a movie written as a film school class project. "Everyone write your own scene for the movie! It's about robots and a college kid and army guys!" Then they took them all and duct taped them together.

Yep. I just saw this on DVD tonight. I didn't hate it, but it was a mishmash of story ideas and SFX with no concept of pacing or communicating to the audience.
Even if all you're communicating is "Badass robots fighting! Yar!" you have to actually accomplish that. Throwing shit at the camera and hoping it sticks is clownshoes.

[stu]

In their defense, neither of the screenwriters claimed to like the movie when interviewed this past summer.