Baldur's Gate: The Baldening

[Azazel]

Take a break by all means, just make sure you do come back and finish it!

[NiX]

My Monday just got worse

[WindupAtheist]

I won't forget. My ego finds the positive comments (and the people who register just to post that I am awesome) far too delicious for me to forget. I just need to recharge a little or the quality is going to decline since I'm not feeling it.

[alloutwar]

I registered JUST to post that this is awesome. 

A few months back I went nuts and bought the BG/BGII/IWD/IWDII series, with all updates/expansions/etc, in some sad effort to reclaim my late-teens youth.  Combining that with being alone in a new part of the country, I started blogging about the run-through of the game - mainly so I wouldn't put it down for 6 months and then totally start over, again, for the millionth time, having wasted endless hours only to start over.  Somewhere along the line of these Black Isle games, nothing was ever as fun as the very start - character creation, the first few chapters, etc, when every Ogre was deadly. 

One day while looking for other interesting BG run-thrus and bloggishness, I found this.  O happy day. 

Thank you WUA.

[Pillager]

I just registered to say that this entire thread is drenched in awesome sauce.

I've never seen evil characters played so well.

 

Take as long a break as you need, we'll be waiting.

 

[Ivanneth]

I registered to say that this thread is pure awesome. I love the BG series. Thanks for the very entertaining read!

[NowhereMan]

Schild clearly needs to make this thread viewable to subscribers only with the first few posts available on a trial basis

[WindupAtheist]

Ok, I apparently conjured up 3 newbs in a row. I can't NOT do an update this weekend now.

[NowhereMan]

Hah! You are now the 4th google hit for: Baldur's gate playthrough!

[Gorky]

Hah! You are now the 4th google hit for: Baldur's gate playthrough!

Up to 3rd place now! 

[JRave]

I signed up for the ability to see spoilers.  Although this thread is a good read as well.  The Dwarf Fortress "BBQ Dwarfs" thread is also a winner.

[Murgos]

It's almost like I can hear WUA's head swelling from here. Like a giant balloon.

[WindupAtheist]

After we killed the leader of the Shadow Thieves, we went a little further down through the district and visited their other guild hall, one operated by someone named Mae'var. We started tearing the place up, and thankfully it was a lot smaller than the main guild hall.

For the most part it didn't have much good loot either, until we got down there and kicked over this Mae'var himself. Turns out he was wearing the Shadow Armor that Garrette lost when Irenicus nabbed us. Either that or one EXACTLY like it. He put it back on and seemed pretty happy about it.

When we got out it was raining, so we ducked into a nearby pub. The Salty Seaman or something, I don't know. We're sitting in there chilling when Gar turns to me and tells me that, yep, there's a secret door concealed in the back of this pub too. Oh boy. Last time it was a fucking lich, this time it was...

...a broom closet. No actually it was full of pirates. Seriously. They were mad that we had stumbled into their secret hideout and naturally decided to attack us. I'd bitch about what a stupid place for a hideout this was, but it still makes more sense than finding a lich crypt back there so I'll quit while I'm ahead. We killed them easily and yoinked the treasure they were hiding.

I'm half-tempted to just go around banging on the walls of every pub in the city looking for fights and loot. I'll bet one of them has a dragon in it.

Anyway.

We let Bodhi know that the thieves were all dead. Well, Mordak let her know while going out of the way to overstate his own contribution to the effort and blatantly trying to mack on the vampire bitch. We let him go ahead with this display because it was pretty hilarious, especially when she made a point of telling him what a minor task it really was and you could practically see his dick fall off. She also explained that Irenicus is her brother, and that she wants to get her hands on him before we're through.

Whatever. She was ready to send us to Spellhold, but after killing off the entire organized crime apparatus in a major city and being told it was no big deal, I decided to make the twat wait some more. We told her we'd be back when we were good and ready and decided to head for Castle Nythrax and see what was up.

It was an uneventful trip, and there was a thousand gold worth of tax money waiting for us, which was nice. The majordomo got hold of me and let me know that one of the guards had been arrested for petty theft. I had him brought before me for judgement. Oh man, I love having lawful authority. Lilarcor started screaming "KILL HIM! EXECUTE HIM! DIE, DIE, DIE!" as soon as the captain brought the guy into the room. I've decided that I don't really mind such behavior, as it seems to unnerve people.

So it turns out that the guy's wife is sick with some bizzare disease that the clerics can't cure. It takes special exorbitantly expensive medicine to cure her, without which she'll certainly die. This guard knew he was never going to make that much money legitimately, so he resorted to theft. There wasn't any way he was going to make enough money that way, but he said he had to do something besides sit there impotently and watch his wife wither up and croak because he's poor.

I paid the five hundred gold for his wife's medicine and let him off the hook.

No, there's no punchline. I don't mean that I hung his carcass by a hook, or that I held him off a balcony by a hook and then dropped him, I just mean I paid for his wife's treatment and let him go without punishment. Every jaw in the room dropped simultaneously. Even Lilarcor was like "Yeah, kill hi-- wait, what the fuck?"

Look, first off, I'm the fucking Lord around here and I'll do whatever I damned well please, okay? Secondly, any man who WOULDN'T resort to crime under those circumstances is a pussy whom I wouldn't stomach having around anyway. This guy's only mistakes were getting caught, and not thinking big enough. Thirdly, fuck you.

Vaere looked like she got it. Everyone else sort of grumbled, shrugged, or sighed in relief depending upon their role in the situation. Whatever. If I were incapable of looking upon certain people as "my people" and treating them decently even when they're technically out of line, I'd have chopped Mordak's head off years ago.

After we rested up and stashed some weapons we no longer needed (but which were too hot to pawn off) we decided to head out to the Windspear Hills. The lord of that place was offering sweet money to clear out some ogres and trolls last time I heard, and I wanted to see if such were still the case. Kor grumbled that he hoped I wouldn't spend ALL of the reward money on blankets for orphans or some shit like that, and Lex kicked him in the ass. Heh.

When we got there, sure enough we were confronted by a bunch of ogres and shit with oddly human accents. I kinda wanted to pause and ask them what the fuck was up with that before killing them, but they were bent on fighting first and asking questions never. We chopped them up with ease, but as each one fell dead they turned into a human knight. Hrmm.

Just then this guy comes running up and tells us that he saw ogres fighting ogres, with the fallen turning into humans before his eyes. Right, okay, so it's some kinda spell designed to get us to kill each other. Jeez, if this Firkraag wanted us to kill some knights he should have just said so. I wonder if he'll still pay us.

Well the kook who witnessed all of this was all like "Oh no man, the Temple of Helm and the Radiant Heart will totally be after you now! Follow me to my cabin and we'll find a way to make it right!" Yeah, okay.

Instead we turned right the fuck around on the spot and headed for the temple district in Athkatla. Visions of paladins cut to pieces trying to arrest us and other hilarity danced in my head, but alas. When we got there, nobody fucking noticed us at all. Hell, one of the priests of Helm asked us for HELP. Seems there's this cult going around claiming the gods are all fake and luring commoners into the sewers. We caught one of their idiotic speeches on our way to being ignored at the Radiant Heart compound. This priest wanted to know what was up.

It was another "likely way more complicated than it sounds for unspecified reward" job, so I mentally threw it on the pile of shit to do only when there's nothing else better going on. In the meantime, it's back to Windspear to find out what's up with this Firkraag bullshit and get paid for murdering those paladins.

[Feranis]

Well, count me another new face signed up to tell you how much you rock, WUA. Your style of writing is exceedingly funny, and the depth you add to the various encounters is a delight. The Baldur's Gate games are easily my favorite videogames ever, with upward of a dozen replays each. And, thanks to this thread, another one coming down the pipe.

One thing, though. I intend to mimic your playstyle in a number of ways, including working an anti-paladin, with that delightful dispel ability, into the party. Do you (or anyone else) know where to get a copy of the Tactics mod? Its home site appears to be down, and I haven't been able to find a mirror.

[WindupAtheist]

Working now.

http://www.weidu.org/tactics.html

The download link is item 8 on the installation checklist toward the bottom of the page. Thanks again to all who posted and/or registered just to tell me you appreciate the story. I totally thrive upon it.

(Only about 300 views to go before I've beaten the old Dwarf Fortress thread from January! Woo!)

[Feranis]

Wow, thanks for the super-speedy reply! Actually, after a good bit of dithering and some light swearing, I figured out that the site was taking personal exception to my IP. I suspect it went through a messy breakup with Comcast. Anywho, a proxy server did the trick, and the mod is mine. Let the pillaging commence!

[WindupAtheist]

Good times, glad you got it worked out. I'll try to do another update within the next day. It should prove in epic and unequivocal fashion that the cool kids will go out of their way to pick a fight with absolutely anyone.

[Pillager]

Ok, I apparently conjured up 3 newbs in a row. I can't NOT do an update this weekend now.

Ok, now that we've been summoned do you want us to attack anyone or should we just walk up & down the halls looking for pressure plates or trip wires?     




Also, thanks for the update.   



I won't even look at the Dwarf Fortress Thread until you out score it.

[WindupAtheist]

Bear in mind that I mean the old DF thread at the bottom of the forum that hasn't been touched since March, not the one Rasix is doing.

[bhodi]

It also just sort of ends when I get bored and frustrated with dealing with too many dwarves so don't get your hopes up.

[Sheepherder]

It also just sort of ends when I get bored and frustrated with dealing with too many dwarves so don't get your hopes up.

Funny, I'm going through the same shit with Morrowind.  Either BG really is this good or WUA has a lot more staying power and/or vanity than either of us.

[WindupAtheist]

Man, sometimes it hurts being as awesome as I am.

We got back to Windspear Hills and started scoping around. The first thing we came across was a group of warriors cutting down some gnolls and making chatter amongst themselves that made it blatantly obvious that they were actually werewolves. I was just like "Sup bitches?" They didn't appreciate the joke.

Once they were all dead, we approached the keep without meeting anything worse than a few random orcs. The place appeared to be a wreck, and I smelled the opportunity to do some looting. Just then Garren Windspear, ex-lord of this dump and the same guy who came upon us after we killed the paladins, ran up screaming for us. Apparently this Firkraag had his lackies kidnap the guy's daughter from their cabin, and left a note.

I got a look at the note and it was all "Now Nythrax we will play a little game to see who is the better, this shall be our battleground, bla bla bla!" and shit like that. Oy. Apparently I have enough of a rep now to attract a whole new level of douchebag looking to prove something. This isn't just some slob in a bar, this guy has land and minions and shit.

Well fine, I say, if this guy wants to have an Evil Overlord dick-measuring contest then I'll teach him not to fuck with Lord Nythrax. Then Mordak is like "Yeah well I'll bet this Evil Overlord doesn't buy medicine for his servants sick wives! Ha!" while Kor stands next to him with his hands clasped in mock-adoration, going "Oh thank you my lord, you're just the sweetest lord ever!" in this silly voice. Dicks.

We ducked inside and at first it was just the usual bunch of hobgoblins and shit. Nothing we couldn't slice our way through in short order. Then it was some kook wizard and his pet kobolds, except he had somehow enchanted the kobolds to run up to us and explode. That was sort of annoying, but not nearly enough to take us out, and after the wizard was dead we found a nice fire resistance ring on him.

The layout started getting a little more complex as we advanced, so we were methodical and made sure to leave no stone unturned. Not even the kitchen. As we burst into the room, the troll cook casually told us to go ahead and hop up onto the grill and kept right on chopping meat. I admired his chutzpah, so instead we sat there and talked shop for a few minutes.

He was quite well-spoken for a troll. Turns out his mother sent him to live with the hobgoblins, since apparently they're the high-class folk of the monster world. They were an okay bunch, he said, except for the chief who sometimes cut his fingers off. This is only a minor nuisnace for a troll, since they regenerate.

Once the conversation wound down, I was just like "So yeah, we're not about to jump onto the grill, you know?" He shrugged and yelled for the guards. The whole thing went predictably. We're at the point where rabble like this just isn't playing in our league in anything less than ludicrous numbers.

We killed an otyugh they kept in the back room for trash disposal after blundering in on it, then had to turn around since this was a dead end. We sent Garrette ahead to scout, and after a few minutes he came back and told us there were three or four vampires in the chamber up ahead.

We had Mordak conjure up an earth elemental, Vaere raise a couple of skeletons, and sent them in ahead as fodder while we rushed in behind them. They put up a decent fight, all things considered, but remember that Kor is still packing that Daystar sword. It's absolute death against vampires and we killed their physical bodies, causing them to turn into vapor and flee. Whatever. Lex picked the lock on the chest they were all standing around, and we finally scored some loot out of this deal.

More poking around. I know this sounds disjoined. That's because it was. We were just wandering through this wreck of a keep, methodically opening every door, killing every monster, and turning over every nook and cranny looking for anything worth keeping or selling.

As we made our way through, we opened up a door and had a human woman in plate armor almost fall into our lap. She introduced herself as Samia, and almost immediately launched into this huge spiel about how she was an academic here to study the tomb of the great king whats-his-face, but she couldn't get in because she's a descendant of said king and this magical ward is keeping her out, but it wouldn't keep us out and yadda yadda yadda.

My eyes started glazing over and all I could think about was why the hobgoblins hadn't eaten her. The short version is that she needed us to go explore this tomb for her. Lex crept up from behind, put her arms around this chick, and invited her to do some "exploration" of a different kind at her earliest convenience. Kor rolled his eyes and Mordak got this really silly look on his face, but we all knew what was up. A red-faced Samia disengaged herself from Lex as politely as possible, and we decided to save this tomb thing for after we'd dealt with Firkraag.

Once we were out of sight Lex showed us the contents of Samia's pockets. She didn't have anything but a handful of coins, but sometimes Lex steals just to amuse herself and/or the rest of us. Then Kor and Mordak pipe up.

"Hey Lex, do you really dig girls?"
"No, but hanging around you apes all the time is bound to turn me off men eventually."

Mordak was just like "Sweet!" and turned to Korgrim for the high-five, but Kor left him hanging to scowl at Lex instead. Anyway I'll leave off here for now. I didn't get to the totally awesome part yet, but it's a long walk back to Castle Nythrax and we're all feeling a bit tired and singed.

Funny, I'm going through the same shit with Morrowind.  Either BG really is this good or WUA has a lot more staying power and/or vanity than either of us.

All of the above? 

[Pillager]

Then Mordak is like "Yeah well I'll bet this Evil Overlord doesn't buy medicine for his servants sick wives! Ha!" while Kor stands next to him with his hands clasped in mock-adoration, going "Oh thank you my lord, you're just the sweetest lord ever!" in this silly voice. Dicks.

 



Please tell me that you'll rip Kor & Mordak's testicles off, grind them into paste & then serve them up to them on a savory cracker.

Y' know.

Once their usefulness ends.

 

[squirrel]

Again WUA - this shit is fucking gold. Best of what I thought this kind of Radicalthon could have inspired.

Even Lilarcor was like "Yeah, kill hi-- wait, what the fuck?"

GOLD.

[WindupAtheist]

Thanks. :)

I'll try to tap out the rest of my notes into story form tonight. I'm just horsing around on the puter for a little while while I wait to pick someone up from the hospital right now.

[Murgos]

If you're impatient waiting for WUA here is a munchkinish solo mage account of a trip through BG2 both SoA and ToB.

[WindupAtheist]

So we left that Samia broad behind and carried on looking for Firkraag. We stomped our way through some orogs and werewolves, the sort of fighting that's more a formality than any sort of challenge anymore. Then we ran into another one of those situations that's too elaborate to be accidental but still doesn't make any god damned sense.

We fought our way across this bridge over a deep circular pit. Hanging off the bridge and into the pit was a rope and bucket like you'd find in a well. I was curious what the point of this was, so I had Kor hoist up the bucket. Inside the bucket was a magic helmet, and also an air elemental, apparently. Okay. I think Firkraag must assemble his traps by way of Mad Libs. Inside (device) is (useful item) as well as (monster)!

The elemental swirled up in front of us to attack, and fortunately our enchanted weapons were able to hurt it. We destroyed it with ease, and gave the helmet to Vaere. It was crafted with dragonscales, and Mordak said it was supposed to provide resistance to elemental attacks. Having complained long and loud in the past about being stuck with a helmet of infravision despite already having infravision, Vaere plunked the new helm onto her head immediately and chucked the old one into the pit.

For the lair of a devious overlord bent on testing my mettle, so far this place was pretty lame and insulting. Speaking of which...

In the next chamber we found a group of "adventurers" who were eager to ask for our help, telling us that their companions were wounded and needed a healer. Before I can even open my mouth to say it myself, Garrette is pointing out what a ridiculous fucking story this is, given the entire squad of werewolves that had just been sitting on the opposite side of an unlocked door from them.

The leader spluttered something about having made a deal, then when he realized that this sounded idiotic even to him, just went "Oh fuck it anyway!" and they all exploded into werewolves themselves. Shocking. We butchered them like hogs.

Man am I ever sick of shapeshifters. Whether they're dopplegangers or werewolves, they all think they're the cleverest thing in the world. Never mind the fact that you can pretty much always spot them by the stupid smug looks on their faces and the dumb shit they always say. Yeah asshole, I got to where I am today by being the sort of moron who hears something like "Hello my fellow hairless ape, allow me to join your pack!" and thinks, hey, this dude sounds pretty legit!

Creeping along, we overheard another werewolf yelling at a few little trolls about how they did a terrible job of cleaning the "master's" golems. One of the trolls piped up with "Please doggie, don't hit us!" which for some reason made Mordak giggle like a little girl. But doggie did hit them, and then we walked out there and hit everyone to death.

We rushed on ahead and, sure enough, there were some golems. An adamantine golem among them, no less. Finally a halfway decent fight. Lex switched to acid arrows and Gar to his better magical ones, while Mordak started casting everything in the book. I didn't have time to pay attention to precisely what good they were or weren't doing though, since me, Kor, and Vaere were going toe-to-toe with it and a couple of stone golems.

The three of us all had weapons powerful enough to hurt them, but it was still pretty slow going knocking chips and chunks off them. Eventually the adamantine one crumbled though, and the other two fell pretty quickly after that. Kor did his whole "I AM THE FIST OF DEATH BLARGRGHRGHR!" routine, but caught a couple of head-sized stone fists with his face and finished the fight with little birdies flying circles around his head. It was nothing Vaere couldn't fix right away though.

Behind the golems was a cache of loot. It was good times, and some nice stuff. Except for the artifact longbow we found, Heartseeker. I mean don't get me wrong, it's an awesome weapon. It's just that for one reason or another nobody wants to actually use it. Me and Kor have never used bows and are at the front of every fight anyway. Lex and Gar are our experiened archers, but neither of them can even draw the string on the damn thing. Whatever, someone will buy it.

By now we had pretty thoroughly explored the place, and I was getting the feeling that things were going to come to a head soon. Sure enough, a couple of kicked-in doors later and we were staring at the hobgoblin chieftan and a bunch of his lackeys. Mordak was all like "Cloudkill time, biznatchios!" and started running forward to cut loose, but then stopped short when this big oaf in silly-looking armor jumped out in front of us with a cry of "Aha, it's ME!"

All the bad guys are just looking at us expectantly.

Meanwhile the dude in the armor is still talking. "Bahaha, you defeated me once, but my new master has raised me back from Hell for revenge, to show you his mind-boggling power! This time you will pay! Muahaha!" and all like that. I look at Kor and he's scratching his head. I look at Vaere and she just shrugs.

So I'm like "Uh, hold on, are we supposed to know you?"

The dude starts getting indignant. "It's me, your mortal enemy, Tazok!" None of us have any idea what the fuck he's talking about.

We go into a huddle for a minute. Vaere pokes her head up. "Were you that guy we killed in the bottom of the Nashkel mine, back in the day?"

"No, that was Mulahey! He worked for me!"

Huddle huddle huddle while we try to remember this guy. Lex looks over. "Wait, were you the wizard in the bottom of the Cloakwood dungeon?"

"Goddamn it no, do I look like a wizard? That was Daveorn! I'm Tazok, TAZOK!"

Finally after like ten minutes of this we figure out that he was the guy to Sarevok's left during the big battle beneath Baldur's Gate, but not the wizard or the Flaming Fist guy. He seemed pretty disappointed that it took us that long to remember him. Then Garrette goes "Oh yeah, now I totally remember you! Vividly!"

Tazok brightens up. "Really?"

"Yeah, my aim was knocked low and you squealed like a girl when I did this." And then he shoots him in the dick. We rushed them. Half the hobgoblins were sitting down playing cards or something by this point, so we were all over them before they were ready and it was an easy fight.

If there's one thing I'm more tired of than shapeshifters, it's people coming back from the dead.

We found Windspear's daughter locked up in a cell afterwards and sprung her. The hobgoblins had already relieved her of all her loot and we weren't about to walk her out, so we just put a boot in her ass and told her to keep making right turns until she found the exit. She might even make it out alive if we didn't miss anything along the way.

Well there's only one way left to go, now. We descend the staircase these guys were apparently guarding, and find ourselves in this big natural cavern. And sitting in the middle of said cavern is a giant motherfucking red dragon.

No, I'm not kidding. No, I don't know how he managed to get down here in the first place. Anyway, it's not immediately attacking us, so I figure maybe it's waiting for us to talk. So I just start sauntering forward. Red dragons are basically huge assholes, as I understand it, and you can't let people... reptiles... whatever... like that think you sweat dealing with them.

So I'm just like "Sup bitch? What the fuck?" Apparently my friends aren't fans of my negotiating style, because they're all standing behind me trying to whisper at me to shut the fuck up and be more polite. Whatever, like we're walking out of here without a fight?

Well Firkraag goes into this big spiel about how he'd heard of us, and knew I was the spawn of Bhaal, and wanted to test us to see what we're made of because he was so incredibly bored. You know, the old "Pitiful humans, this has just been a game for me!" routine. Only now he says he's SO bored that he's not even going to bother killing us. Yes, he'll mercifully spare us so that we can go out and become stronger, and perhaps when we're more interesting he'll challenge us again.

I can feel everyone relax behind me, but bullshit, I'm not doing all this fucking nonsense all over again two months from now when this giant scaly fop decides he's EVER SO BORED again. So I start sniffing the air theatrically until he raises a brow, then I'm like "Oh man, I haven't been anywhere that smelled this much like pussy since the brothel in the back of the Coronet!"

Mordak peed a little, I think. I heard him squeak. Kor was just like "Uh, dude..." but I wasn't listening. Oh but don't be silly, Firkraag says. There's no way we could fight him. If we want a challenge, we can battle his lackey. Yes, that would be amusing, he says. Sure enough he has some kind of... I don't even know what it was except that it was humanoid, and he wanted us to fight it.

By now I'm getting tired of this condescending bullshit, so I whip out Lilarcor. It gets one look at Firkraag and immediately yells "Oh god, a dragon?! I need to be inside you!" Which actually sounded even more disturbing than it seems on paper.

And this fucking dragon is STILL giving me the "SERIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FIGHT ME YET!" routine.

But I'm just like "FUCK YOU PUSSY, GIVE ME YOUR LOOT!" and rush right at him, because I am the motherfucking son of the God of Murder and you do not give me this sort of condescending bullshit. Credit where it's due, after no more than a second or two making sure they weren't hallucinating, the others all took up the fight.

Which is a good thing, because I'm sure as shit not up to killing a dragon all by myself. At least not yet. We all got kicked around a good lot, and sort of set on fire, and it was casting spells all over the place too. But I could dispel it's magic, and for all that dragons get mythologized, they're still just made of meat you know? Fighting in an enclosed little cave gave us a huge advantage too. It couldn't fly, or even maneuver all that well in there.

I sank Lilarcor into Firkraag's chest up to the hilt. The little moan the sword let out as it went in was, frankly, the most disgusting thing I'd heard that day. I'm going to have to have a talk with it. Firkraag let out this wall-shaking bellow, and then fell dead. Right on top of me. Enchanted full plate is difficult to crush though, so it was cool once they dug me out from under him.

Lex was dancing around in the obligatory giant pile of gold by then. I looked at Kor and asked if anyone else wanted to call me a pussy for buying that guy's wife some medicine. He gave me the "Dude I was just playing!" look so I was cool.

Then Mordak comes running up like "Fucking never mind that, look at this!" holding this huge sword. Apparently this was Carsomyr, the incredibly powerful ancient holy sword... that can only be wielded by a paladin. Fucking hell.

Well someone will buy it. Lilarcor just sniffed "Good, what the hell do we need that for anyway?" Heh.

I kinda want to go slap a reward out of Windspear for rescuing his stupid daughter, assuming she survived, but the ex-Lord is basically just a filthy old hermit anymore so I doubt he has much. We're tired and beat up and it feels like we're still smoking, so fuck it, we're going right back to Castle Nythrax for some rest, and then the city to sell all this loot.

(Gar and Lex ding 13, Mordak and Vaere ding 11. Just writing from some week-plus old notes. A solid six or seven weeks of BG1 & 2 being my main/only gaming have really burned me out. I'll come back to it, but it really is going to be a while this time.)

[NowhereMan]

Take your time man, that was a really awesome update. Firkaag is indeed an asshole of tremendous proportions and Lilacor is even more awesome than in the game!

[WindupAtheist]

The view count, it's...



I win the forum. 

[Brogarn]

The huddle was pretty fucking hilarious. I've done an internal version of that in a few RPGs myself. "Now... who was this formerly insignificant asshole again?"

[Merusk]

I thought you'd lost your touch, but then we got to the nut shot.  While always a hilarious comedy device, that one was just awesomely executed.  Kudos again.

[MisterNoisy]

Inside the bucket was a magic helmet

Magic helmet..

[Pillager]

"By now I'm getting tired of this condescending bullshit, so I whip out Lilarcor. It gets one look at Firkraag and immediately yells "Oh god, a dragon?! I need to be inside you!" Which actually sounded even more disturbing than it seems on paper."

 

The universe can only deal with one weapon as evil as Lilarcor.

 

Promise us you'll kill Mordak if he gets any of those maternal crafting urges.

Attempting to top your current weapon would plane shattering.     

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Update when you feel like it.  We'll wait.

[WindupAtheist]

Welp, this post doesn't make sense without the book stuff. Thanks for splitting it off though.

[WindupAtheist]

I dunno as I'd call the inside flaps bonus content. Anyway, I actually played some BG2 tonight. Update forthcoming tomorrow, in all likelihood. Nythrax demands respect for his authoritah, the cool kids meet some people almost as cool as themselves (and then kill them), and some benevolent servants of nature get butchered.