The Pursuit of Mr. Happy

[Paelos]

One of my most effective theories when I was younger was that if two single adults are together in a private place, they might as well fuck. Astoundingly effective.

Don't ever share a cell in prison.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRb3u0PtEZE

[FatuousTwat]

No, he's just being dumb.

No, I'm not not having sex because I'm afraid of getting kids/stds, they are just one more thing to add to the negative side of the list. Also, condoms? Not 100%.

I've wondered I'm asexual, I've never really been attracted to anyone specific (male or female). I'm attracted to women in general, but I've never met one I would want to have sex with, have been hit on but didn't realize it till later because I just don't think about it at all.

[Strazos]

With all the intelligence around here, some of the perpetually-single and loveless around here (including myself, heh) might be prone to over-analyzing this shit. Also, again - standards. This shit really shouldn't be that complicated.

Personally, I've just had the hardest time meeting people, especially since I left college. And then, when I DID meet people, I ended up being "just friends" with them. At first that was fine, since there were maybe 2 women before college that would even deign to have a conversation with me. But since I left college? lolz


Fuck, this is frustrating to try to talk about without either ranting or rambling.

[Lantyssa]

I've wondered I'm asexual, I've never really been attracted to anyone specific (male or female). I'm attracted to women in general, but I've never met one I would want to have sex with, have been hit on but didn't realize it till later because I just don't think about it at all.

Asexuality is a possibility.  Not one most consider, and many people don't believe it exists.  Who cares as long as you do what's right for you?

[schild]

It's not hard to talk about without ranting or rambling. Here, I'll help.

I find the fairer sex nearly intolerable. The rare few that I get along with tend to be insane or lesbians. Which I'm cool with because I don't really care about sex. I got that out of my system in high school. Until I get my own shit together, I am an island. I'm pretty happy that way.

Fatuous, don't sweat it. As for the asexuality thing, honestly, I'm borderline. So don't feel bad. The feeling to reproduce does NOT exist in me. I do not want children, I do not like children, and I have no interest in having to support children. Should I ever end up in a situation where a child even gets brought up as a possibility, I will demand adoption. Not just because I was adopted, but rather I've no interest in causing intense physical harm to said woman. Seriously, don't sweat it. Sex is absolutely, in every way, overrated.

[Strazos]

Heh, funny it should come up, because I've jokingly been called asexual before as well.

Oh, and pretty much agree with what schild said...except the whole island thing. I wouldn't be Opposed to a relationship, but I just don't meet people anymore it seems.


And one last thing, please Please don't do a one-night-stand sort of thing. Essentially, that's what mine was, and every time the episode pops into my mind, I just cannot help thinking, "Yeah, she was hot, but...Why did I even bother?" It was incredibly unfulfilling. So at best, you won't feel any different, at worst you'll regret it.

[Big Gulp]

No, I'm not not having sex because I'm afraid of getting kids/stds, they are just one more thing to add to the negative side of the list. Also, condoms? Not 100%.

I've wondered I'm asexual, I've never really been attracted to anyone specific (male or female). I'm attracted to women in general, but I've never met one I would want to have sex with, have been hit on but didn't realize it till later because I just don't think about it at all.

You are so completely full of shit that I can smell it from here.

You're a virgin because you're socially retarded and terrified of rejection.  At least be honest with yourself, and don't try to justify your virginity with STD's and "asexuality".

[Signe]

Wait.  I'm not a lesbian!   

[Big Gulp]

"Yeah, she was hot, but...Why did I even bother?" It was incredibly unfulfilling. So at best, you won't feel any different, at worst you'll regret it.

Why are you trying to be fulfilled?  What did you expect?  An indian to pop up from the headboard and lead you on your own little vision quest?

YOU ARE A GUY.  You are fully capable of having sex with someone whom you don't give a shit about.  Hell, I've had sex with people I really hated.  Good sex, at that.  "Fulfillment" has nothing to do with getting your rocks off.  It's bullshit support group jargon best left on Dr. Phil.

[BoatApe]

Holy Crap...

Y'all are some of the most intelligent folks I've ever had the pleasure of lurking(verb)...

But generally you just don't have a clue. And I mean that in the best possible, nerd love way.

Be who you are, find someone that that works for, and see where you both want to go from there.

Sex for sex's sake tends to be shallow, unrewarding and full of regrets on both sides of the Great Divide.

Sex with someone, that by the grace of the godz, you connect with is above and beyond an epiphany.

But don't think of it as the end-all-be-all...because what you can do for yourself can be WAY better than the compromises involved in sharing your body and soul with another person.

That's up to you.

[Strazos]

Why are you trying to be fulfilled?  What did you expect?  An indian to pop up from the headboard and lead you on your own little vision quest?

YOU ARE A GUY.  You are fully capable of having sex with someone whom you don't give a shit about.  Hell, I've had sex with people I really hated.  Good sex, at that.  "Fulfillment" has nothing to do with getting your rocks off.  It's bullshit support group jargon best left on Dr. Phil.

Yes, I am aware that I am physically capable of the act. And being my first time - lol, I had no idea wtf to expect. The fact that it happened at all was unexpected. Maybe fulfilled was not the right word. Satisfied, maybe? Mentally, I just was maybe half there; almost felt like I was simply going through the motions.

EDIT: Point, this stuff is different for everyone.

Or maybe it was that damned crazy Italian condom, who knows. Or fatigue.

[schild]

Negative space. Neat. It makes it more serious.






















































Can I do it too?

[Hindenburg]

 What did you expect?

First time? To beat the 2 minute mark  

[Strazos]

 What did you expect?

First time? To beat the 2 minute mark  

lolz, that Really was not the problem...Maybe I got bored?

[schild]

When Strazos talks about sex, I get uncomfortable. It's like a bear talking about rocket science.

[BoatApe]

If the "negative space" comment was directed at me, I apologize. Not quite sure how that got there. I'll go back to lurking now...

[Lantyssa]

Wait.  I'm not a lesbian!   

I don't know which applies to me.  The uncertainty is unbearable!

[Azazel]

My issue that was I was dead broke until my mid 20's and couldn't even so much as afford to go out. I didn't get a car and a stable residence with people my age until last year. My previous residence for 4 years was the equivalent of living with my parents (She wasn't my Mom but she might as well have been).

I had no business complicating my life with sex or relations when I couldn't even take care of myself. That's changed now.

I'm overall pretty sympathetic to your situation. But those are all excuses, and not especially good ones, either.


Now some advice. Late, as it is. \

Lower your standards is correct. You're not going to get a 6' tall supermodel who is also a brain surgeon. Especially if you take a realistic look at yourself, which by your first post you seem to have, in part.
If losing your virginity is a major thing, moreso than starting a relationship, then drive to Nevada and take care of it.
Same deal with wanting to bang an Asian or Japanese chick.

You're 27, so you're past the university/college girl time.

If there are women where you work, and people from work go out for casual drinks now and then (as a mixed male/female crowd) then go out as well as a social thing, not to pick up on the people from work, but they may have other female friends and other social aquaintances you'll meet. You want to meet friends of friends of workmates of friends of friends in casual situations where you can just be yourself, relaxed, not drunk and not smelling of deperation. Barbeques, social events of all types, etc.

[Teleku]

You could always just try Heroin.  I have it on good authority from several sources that it is much much much better than sex.

[FatuousTwat]

Eh, fuck it, not worth it and I don't want to derail this into argument.

[MahrinSkel]

My social skills were non-existant until my 30s.  I had to work really hard to be able to reach my current point of being marginally sociable around people who aren't good friends.  I kind of stumbled into the few intimate relationships I had by them making the first move, or both of us being drunk enough to get into serious enough play to admit to one another we wanted something deeper.

Yeah, but you're cheating.  I'm sure you've heard the one that involves driving a U-Haul for a second date?

--Dave

[Lantyssa]

No, but somehow I don't think I want to.

(Also, though I'm trying hard to avoid going too far into personal details [I have no qualms talking about my sex life, but this isn't the place], let's just say I've done enough to not 'cheat'.)

[MahrinSkel]

Don't read if fairly vanilla lesbian jokes will offend you.
I don't mean "cheat" as in infidelity or having a "committed" relationship and something on the side.  I mean "cheat" as in playing the game of negotiating the gaps of commitment between acquaintance, sex, intimacy, and relationships as a lesbian is playing tennis without the net.

--Dave

[Arnold]

"Yeah, she was hot, but...Why did I even bother?" It was incredibly unfulfilling. So at best, you won't feel any different, at worst you'll regret it.

YOU ARE A GUY.  You are fully capable of having sex with someone whom you don't give a shit about.  Hell, I've had sex with people I really hated.  Good sex, at that.  "Fulfillment" has nothing to do with getting your rocks off.  It's bullshit support group jargon best left on Dr. Phil.

OMG, last summer I hooked up with a bartender at my favored drinking spot.  I HATED that girl.  I hated everything about her.  I was there when the bar manager interviewed her at the table behind me and after she left, I told the bar manager, "I will kill you if you hire her!"

But wtf, I got drunk one night and started thinking, "You know, she's got a nice ass.  I think I'm gonna try to take her home tonight."  We had a really fun time and she spent the night.   Kind of funny how that worked out because I would have never ever considered that thing a possibility.  But I was kind of pissed when I picked up my jeans from the side of the bead, after she left, and found out she had puked on them!  Bitch.

[Ironwood]

I require a Den button.

[Lantyssa]

I don't mean "cheat" as in infidelity or having a "committed" relationship and something on the side.

I know what you meant.

I have heard the U-Haul joke now that I think about it.  It's been a while.

[Strazos]

I don't get it. Am I missing a pun or something?

[Azazel]

I require a Den button.

Give it a rest.

Stop reading the thread.

[Selby]

I don't get it. Am I missing a pun or something?

In lesbian culture it's a running joke that they fall in love extremely fast and move in within a few dates.  While not always true, quite a few I know all fit the profile and we like to joke about it (they even admit it).

[Engels]

The converse joke is :

What do gay guys do on a second date?

[Ironwood]

I require a Den button.

Give it a rest.

Stop reading the thread.

What ?  And Miss all the useful advice ?

[Lantyssa]

What?  You don't find discussions about lesbian dating helpful?

[Azazel]

What ?  And Miss all the useful advice ?

So you're drawn to it, yet can't stop bitching about it?

ho hum.

[Triforcer]

I like this thread because even though in the normal world I'm slightly shy and much, much less experienced in these matters than all the "normal" people I know, in here I feel (relatively) like Hugh Hefner banging three models at once.  Carry on. 

[Margalis]

You should read more about what Hugh Hefner is really like. According to some his issues would put most people here to shame.