The Pursuit of Mr. Happy

[Margalis]

Hopefully because he's with that 30-something blonde having a debate.

Resolved: We should fuck.

?

[Ironwood]

1. My view of this forum that's evolved over the last year is that it is full of extremely intelligent people or people who have extremely good common sense.

The fuck ?

Are there Sekrit forums I don't see ?

[Jeff Kelly]

Your perception of 'the internet' is seriously dated.

If you talk about the 'gamers + mmorpg' part of the internet you might be right, mostly guys. But seriously guys most people under 35 that I know of live on the internet. Girls and Boys alike, geeks and jocks alike. How do you explain the success of things like Facebook?

If all you encounter is mostly creepy guys chances are that:

1. You are one of them
2. You are living in the AV club corner of the internet.

[Ironwood]

Who are you talking to ?

[stray]

You're correct, but umm.. who are you talking to? [edit] nevermind ironwood asked heh

Anyways, yeah.. I frequent other message boards - with a higher ratio of women and so called "vapid" people.. they talk about all the same shit too. Besides action figures, I guess. I'm sure some of them would do the same thing and make a divide between themselves and geeks.. but from my perspective, most people are the same. The only truly cool motherfucker I know on the internet is some random dude who seems to be on a permanent road trip, and just uploads pics of his travels, barely saying a word.

[Merusk]

You're probably right about the 'mostly fat' thing, Stray.  As I said it was in my dating days, which  ended about 13 years ago now.  So 'in my day...'  *creaky cane waving*

[stray]

Well, say, on myspace, you could single down weight options in searches. Only, you never really want to check "average". Average is a fatty. There's also "More to love", who are fatties, but they are no different than average. Only average tries to hide it in oddly angled shots - but you know a fatty when you see one. So, you search for slim and athletic. No one has the courage to put those options unless it's the truth.

[Murgos]

- but you know a fatty when you see one. So, you search for slim and athletic. No one has the courage to put those options unless it's the truth.

HAHAHAHAHA

So, wrong.

[stray]

Heh. Enlighten me then. Average is not good. Just like on proper dating sites, "voluptuous" is not exactly voluptuous.

[edit] I'm also going to add that, in general, most people's idea of "average" is a fatass too.

[edit] If they're american at least.

[Mrbloodworth]

Here is my advice.

Don't get advice from the Internets.

Ask every single girl you see/know out. Do it. Shut up. Do it. Stop shivering, do it. It does not matter if it doesn't work out (<----------- Important lesson, don't cry like a bitch, its not the end of the world, i know she touched your junk and you liked it), you will have some good times, and some bad, and you just might find someone for a bit.

[Sky]

Hm. Don't really want to give advice, but I guess I'm one of the more qualified members 

To echo: Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Women are people, too. There are plenty of horny cool women wanting to have some fun.

Stop going to strip clubs. Seriously. There is no sadder thing than a woman pretending to be your friend and waggling her hoohah in your face because you're shelling out bills. Stop it immediately or seek help.

Start conversations. Be friendly and joke around. Sure, a lot of women will reject you and think you're creepy or whatever. Their problem (unless you're creepy, and strip clubs will lead you down that road quickly). I meet women all the time in the supermarket, at book stores, wherever daily life takes you. But you've gotta put yourself out there. And srsly, the supermarket is THE BEST place to meet decent women. Book store is second.

Don't pick up women at bars, unless you realize it's a hookup. You can't turn a ho into a housewife. But if you want to hookup, finding a woman at a bar might is ok, if you're careful.

Heck, looking at this post, watch some Chris Rock, he's pretty spot-on.

On standards: yes, you probably have to lower them. What is more important though, and maybe the best advice I can give, is to pay attention. Follow up with women who seem interested in you, flash you a smile or respond to your light joking/chatter (important note: NOT at a strip club). While I used to chase a lot of women way out of my league with success, it was always more fun to be with a woman who was seeking me out. And women will rarely say "hey, let's fuck", you have to learn the signs. Increment it forward with a 'hey, you want to grab a coffee?'

And for the love of Odin, stop going to strip clubs. You're learning bad patterns there before you learn good patterns. I can't believe I responded to a hookup advice thread.

[IainC]

This sounds like another situation that black paper, a silver pen and a compulsion to write terrible poetry could resolve.

[HaemishM]

Your perception of 'the internet' is seriously dated.

If you talk about the 'gamers + mmorpg' part of the internet you might be right, mostly guys. But seriously guys most people under 35 that I know of live on the internet. Girls and Boys alike, geeks and jocks alike. How do you explain the success of things like Facebook?

Yeah, I mean last night I got a Facebook friend request from a girl who uses a porn star as her profile icon. She's GOT TO BE HOT, AMIRITE?!!?!?!?!?

[Merusk]

There is no sadder thing than a woman pretending to be your friend and waggling her hoohah in your face because you're shelling out bills. Stop it immediately or seek help.

Yes there is.  The guy who says to his friends, "Hey, I think she really likes me. Did you see how she was hang out near me all night!?"

[Oban]

Yes there is.  The guy who says to his friends, "Hey, I think she really likes me. Did you see how she was hang out near me all night!?  Can I borrow a few more twenties?"

[HAMMER FRENZY]

I have to agree with what sky says here, and that is a stretch cause I can't stand that douche.   But it is true, you don't want to meet women in shady places and strippers are just flat out bad news. Talk to girls, and be sensible. It is completely possible to like the things you like and have a perfectly healthy social life if you just do what you like in moderation. For example I like all kinds of things that many people and even some of the cats here find lame or nerdy. But I don't let that take over my life. You have to enjoy things in moderation. Playing games all freaking day, movies, books, whatever, can seem like too much for some people. What is considered being passionate about something to you is often times considered fanatical to others. Whether they are right or not is not the issue, you just don't want to give off the wrong message needlessly.

And what the the issue with some of you people and the action figure collecting? apparently it is cool if you collect designer toys...  But not cool if you collect joes, or transformers or whatever else... weirdos...    

[Merusk]

No, I'm pretty sure they're saying it's not cool to collect 'designer' toys, either.

Oban, you completed the idea perfectly. I knew I was forgetting something, thanks!

[Nebu]

I've never been more happy to be in my 40's.  Thank you all for this thread.

Women cannot regress in lifestyle.  Men cannot regress sexually.

Sky nailed it. 

[Sky]

But not cool if you collect joes, or transformers or whatever else... weirdos...    

If it makes you happy and nobody is getting hurt, I don't really have a problem with it. I just like busting your balls a bit :)

[Signe]

And what the the issue with some of you people and the action figure collecting? apparently it is cool if you collect designer toys...  But not cool if you collect joes, or transformers or whatever else... weirdos...    

If you weren't so adorable, no one would tease you! 

[stray]

I just need to say though that there isn't anything necessarily wrong with strippers. Just strip clubs. 

[HAMMER FRENZY]

I don't know, I always thought that going out to strip clubs can really mess up a relationship. Some pretty salty crap can go on in those joints. That, and I have have more than a few friends that went to a strip joint and spent a lot of money. It seems like they are just bad news in general. 

[Baldrake]

There's always speed dating.

[Nebu]

There is no reason to go to a strip club, ever.  I can't begin to comprehend why any man would go to one.  

No, I'm not joking.  

[Paelos]

There is no reason to go to a strip club, ever.  I can't begin to comprehend why any man would go to one.  

No, I'm not joking.  

They can be fun for bachelor's parties and embarrassing the hell out of your soon-to-shackled friend.

Other than that, the smell of desperation and fear alone is abundant in those places.

[stray]

I don't know, I always thought that going out to strip clubs can really mess up a relationship. Some pretty salty crap can go on in those joints. That, and I have have more than a few friends that went to a strip joint and spent a lot of money. It seems like they are just bad news in general. 

I wouldn't disagree with that. My only beef with them is that they're for suckers. Strippers themselves can be OK outside of that. I have taken out more strippers than I've actually been to a strip bar, if you can believe that (it still isn't a lot, but just saying.. that sometimes I don't mind the girls).

Yeah, I guess it's not a very "moral" job, but that doesn't mean that they're too bad themselves. Some are healthy, hard working, drug free, and doing something "normal" the rest of the time. It's the sales aspect of the actual environment that's the least desirable thing for me. The only good thing you can say about strip bars is that the more upscale the one that the girl works at, the less inclined she is to be trouble. The better ones hold them to some standards, just like any other employer. The bad ones are full of girls who jump around, freelance, and who one else really wants around.

[Sky]

I've known a lot of cool strippers, it's greeeat easy money. Beats selling drugs or prostituting. But stick with it too long and there is a definite mental effect, even if you avoid the lifestyle and drugs that abound.

I've been to quite a few strip clubs, never my idea just along for the ride. I've never understood it, really. Hey, pay a shitload of money for a cocktease!

[Oban]

Depending on where in the world you are, strip clubs and their ilk can be mandatory for business.

But... going to a strip club to pick up a girl is just wrong on so many levels.

[DraconianOne]

Alcohol and drugs always worked for me but I seriously wouldn't recommend it - the last woman I chatted up while I was under the influence I ended up marrying.

[Murgos]

Heh. Enlighten me then. Average is not good. Just like on proper dating sites, "voluptuous" is not exactly voluptuous.

[edit] I'm also going to add that, in general, most people's idea of "average" is a fatass too.

[edit] If they're american at least.

I just meant that women will check the 'slender' or 'athletic' box even when at their best they got 20 pounds on you.

[stray]

Only girl I know who lied about slim turned out to be pregnant.

But she was skinny before, I guess.. Got to her just a bit too late.

[Lantyssa]

Depending on where in the world you are, strip clubs and their ilk can be mandatory for business.

In Houston they're definately a requirement for much of the business world.  We're number one.  Yay, us.

I've only been in one, but it was perhaps the most uncomfortable social situation I have ever been in.  Thankfully they had some of the best drinks I've ever had, too.  I quickly got to a point I didn't much care what was happening beyond the rim of my glass.

[stu]

Only girl I know who lied about slim turned out to be pregnant.

But she was skinny before, I guess.. Got to her just a bit too late.

Sounds like you were right on time. You already knew she liked to fuck and it's not like you could get her pregnant.  jk, sort of.

[Evildrider]

Depending on where in the world you are, strip clubs and their ilk can be mandatory for business.

In Houston they're definately a requirement for much of the business world.  We're number one.  Yay, us.

I've only been in one, but it was perhaps the most uncomfortable social situation I have ever been in.  Thankfully they had some of the best drinks I've ever had, too.  I quickly got to a point I didn't much care what was happening beyond the rim of my glass.

When i lived in Houston I had a friend that went to Houston Baptist University and he had met at least 10-15 strippers that were going there for school.

[Yegolev]

For all that money spent on drinks you could get a decent class prostitute. 

Same.  Serious.  Read the back half of the Creative Loafing, call a number, lose a Franklin and your virginity.  Easy-peasy.