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Topic: Horrible, Awful movies that don't deserve their own threads. (Read 73756 times)
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TheWalrus
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4321
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New one for the Hideous list:
King Arthur with Keira Knightley and Clive Owen. Man that was bad.
As an aside: I'm not too surprised that many of you might actually like Knocked Up. I just thought it was so bad I couldn't get past the first 10 minutes of it.
Watched Memento the other day. That is a fucking awesome movie.
You couldn't begin to get through Knocked Up, yet you loved Memento. Got it. You like watching the same movie over and over in ten minute segments unless you don't like that ten minutes. Whee. |
vanilla folders - MediumHigh
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Did we mention Van Helsing yet? That movie isn't even funny in a campy way. It's just stupid.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Cadaverine
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1655
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The Haunting of Molly Hartley. Got drug to it with a friend this evening. I can't recall ever seeing such a bland, meandering, unrepentant piece of shit film.  I could have watched One Tree Hill, 90210, and Supernatural on Fox, and gotten the same thing. |
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Did we mention Van Helsing yet? That movie isn't even funny in a campy way. It's just stupid.
Oh, yeah. This. Van Helsing made me want to kill something. |
"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Fucking die Nicholas Cage.
I'm all over this idea. I skipped Next because I watched Ghost Rider. Also that stupid movie where he's a lame con man. And Wicker Man... GOD, WICKER MAN, AUGH!!! I loved Van Helsing. I have it on DVD. Don't wear your Serious Hat. |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Van Helsing is cinematic syphilis.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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This could explain why I was laughing through the whole thing.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Tarami
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1980
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Fucking die Nicholas Cage.
I'm all over this idea. I skipped Next because I watched Ghost Rider. Also that stupid movie where he's a lame con man. And Wicker Man... GOD, WICKER MAN, AUGH!!! I loved Van Helsing. I have it on DVD. Don't wear your Serious Hat. The only decent thing Nicolas Cage has done in AGES is Lord of War, and that's quite likely thanks to the script and not the wooden acting. Edit: Which made me think of its poster, which is one of the best I know.  |
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« Last Edit: November 10, 2008, 10:31:18 AM by Tarami »
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- I'm giving you this one for free.
- Nothing's free in the waterworld.
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Mrbloodworth
Terracotta Army
Posts: 15148
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Thats a great image.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Great except for how it looks like his mom's birth canal was three sizes too small.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Ages?
The Rock
National Treasure 1
Matchstick Men
Adaptation
Leaving Las Vegas
And of course Lord of War.
I'd call him hit or miss. But hating him? Fuck, there's a lot of people worth hating more than he.
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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National Treasure 1
Matchstick Men
Adaptation
lolwut Besides, you left out Face/Off. |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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National Treasure 1
Matchstick Men
Adaptation
lolwut Besides, you left out Face/Off. What's wrong with those movies? And I did not leave off Face/Off. |
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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Dorm Daze 2.
My fiancee hates this thread. Now we have begun watching shitty movies with a critical eye. We'll watch it and try to pare down the worst, as in "Which is worse, Dorm Daze 2 or Reform School Girls?" And she hates herself for admitting Reform School Girls was a better movie, and why.
Best Cage film: Raising Arizona. The first time I saw that I was with a few people on really, really good acid, double-dipped LSD blotter. So I'm not so sure it was a good movie, but we sure thought it was amazing.
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Tarami
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1980
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Nobody is hating. He's merely a second-rate actor whose movies deserve no closer looks. His real career (first movie in a significant role) started '83, that's 25 years ago. The Rock is 12 years old, Leaving LV is 13. If that isn't an age in Hollywood, I don't know what is.
Nicolas Cage is just another of Hollywood's assembly line one-trick ponies.
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- I'm giving you this one for free.
- Nothing's free in the waterworld.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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D.E.B.S. is probably the worst "movie" I've ever seen.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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D.E.B.S. is probably the worst "movie" I've ever seen.
I thought you had seen Matchstick Men? |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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D.E.B.S. is probably the worst "movie" I've ever seen.
I thought you had seen Matchstick Men? I'm sorry, I don't remember your complaints about Matchstick Men. |
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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D.E.B.S. is probably the worst "movie" I've ever seen.
I thought you had seen Matchstick Men? I'm sorry, I don't remember your complaints about Matchstick Men. NIC CAGE  |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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That's a piss poor complaint.
Edit: I should expound on that. It's a piss poor complaint because there's so many actors and actresses that are so much worse than Nic Cage. In fact, I don't even find it fair to clump him with the untouchables. Certainly there's an actual reason behind hating him.
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« Last Edit: November 10, 2008, 12:35:04 PM by schild »
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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It's still true that I did not care for the plot or his execution of the role, which describes most of the things I have seen him in lately. His character annoyed me in a similar way as in Wicker Man, only to a lesser degree. Fucking Wicker Man. I did at least get a laugh out of Face/Off before he got on my Do Not Watch list.
I'm pretty sure National Treasure was a kids movie, somewhere between Harry Potter and The Fox and The Hound in all.
Now, was it 8mm that I liked... a bit?
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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That's some pretty weak hate. I couldn't finish Wicker Man. And it wasn't just Nic. I hated everyone and everything about that movie.
I think your hate is misguided.
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IainC
Developers
Posts: 6538
Wargaming.net
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Gotta agree with Schild here, he's no Olivier but then he's not entirely without redeeming features either - why aren't we having a two minute hate towards thoroughly worthless hacks like Shannon Tweed or Adam Sandler?
Re Van Helsing, the best comment I heard coming out of the cinema was 'How the fuck do you get typecast as a feral amnesiac with a mysterious past?'
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Shannon Tweed or... Adam Sandler?
Look, I understand Sandler doesn't do subdued Euro humor, but fucking Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison were awesome.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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That's some pretty weak hate. I couldn't finish Wicker Man. And it wasn't just Nic. I hated everyone and everything about that movie.
I think your hate is misguided.
It's admittedly weak. He disgusts me in his blandness and I feel sorry for him like that cat that no one will adopt because he's not cute enough nor pathetic enough to warrant an emotional attachment. Looking like he just got up from oral surgery doesn't help, either. I save my good hate for people who offend me more, like Robin Williams, Adam Sandler (thanks, Iain!) and Jim Carrey. Will Ferrel is getting on up there. |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I like Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, too. hehe. I like everyone that everyone hates!  Especially Jim Carrey. He was great in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Truman Show. Granted, I don't think I see as many films or even tv shows as most of you so I probably didn't see some of the really awful stuff. |
My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Tarami
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1980
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It's admittedly weak. He disgusts me in his blandness and I feel sorry for him like that cat that no one will adopt because he's not cute enough nor pathetic enough to warrant an emotional attachment. Looking like he just got up from oral surgery doesn't help, either. I save my good hate for people who offend me more, like Robin Williams, Adam Sandler (thanks, Iain!) and Jim Carrey. Will Ferrel is getting on up there.
B-b-but what about Stranger than Fiction?  |
- I'm giving you this one for free.
- Nothing's free in the waterworld.
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Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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god help me I agree with schild on Matchstick Men. And I generally don't like Nicholas Cage.
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I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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It is wrong to hate Will Farrell.  |
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Special J
Terracotta Army
Posts: 536
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I'd call him hit or miss. But hating him? Fuck, there's a lot of people worth hating more than he.
Ok, maybe I'm being too hard on Nicholas Cage, because he is in stuff that I like. But the stuff he's in that I hate; I really, really hate it. |
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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Oh hell yes. Cool As Ice. "Starring" Vanilla Ice, 1991. A "remake" of Rebel Without a Cause (heh). Total  I kept wanting Snoop and Dre to show up and kill the entire cast. |
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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I'd call him hit or miss. But hating him? Fuck, there's a lot of people worth hating more than he.
Ok, maybe I'm being too hard on Nicholas Cage, because he is in stuff that I like. But the stuff he's in that I hate; I really, really hate it. I think you should direct real hate at folks like Cher then. |
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Is she still getting work?
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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