So I pick up Company of Heroes today at BB for $20. "How can I go wrong?" I think to myself. It's GOTY and it's a Jackson to pick up. I'm staring down a win/win here.
So I race home, anxious to experience the whole new theater of WWII combat, some place called Normandy it seems.
So I stick the first disc in. It's in FRENCH. First of all, everyone knows the French can't fight and playing a fighting game would cause them to spit out their cheap, rancid cigarettes. Fine, I pop it out and put the other disc in, which looks just like the French disc. OK thank God, English, not a dead language.
I look for my CD key but it's not where it's supposed to be! There is only a white blank bar. How nice.
I go to the website, but it's busy pestering me with gameplay video of the game I cannot play due to no CD key. So then I check the trash where I put the wrapper and some white slip I took as standard junk mail is actually the CD key. Whew!
Now at this point you'd think my crisis would be over. Well you haven't reckoned with the bumbling might of THQ!
So I install the game (23 minutes on my fairly hot system) and it asks me if I want to install an optional patch for online play.
NO I say.
Then it pops up a window where I can enter my account info for the aforementioned online patch.
I can't play unless I download 400some MB patch which I'll NEVER use.
OK fine, give me the patch so I can fucking play!
It starts patching then the server crashes.
I can't play.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you modern PC gaming! One need not wonder why it BLOWS DISEASED DONKEY BALLS
A big FUCK YOU to Relic and THQ.
Author
. - schild
