"I'm a retard" and other stories

[Endie]

Don't mention this to the Squad Commander involved, Horazon: I needed to vent somewhere else    And we always want more FCs, not less.

Anyway, on the whole it has been a good couple of days' fighting.

[Nerf]

GOD DAMNIT ENDIE I'M TRYING TO HAVE SOME FUN AT YOUR EXPENSE SO READ MY POST AND START FREAKING OUT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LOGIN FOR ANOTHER 40 MINUTES.  YOU'RE RUINING THE JOKE YOU PRICK.

[Endie]

GOD DAMNIT ENDIE I'M TRYING TO HAVE SOME FUN AT YOUR EXPENSE SO READ MY POST AND START FREAKING OUT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LOGIN FOR ANOTHER 40 MINUTES.  YOU'RE RUINING THE JOKE YOU PRICK.

Thank fuck I didn't see that.  Holy shit.  Good one.

I mean, I know you'd have paid me back but the thought of some fucker with bad latin skills whose account lapsed a year ago getting a 1 bill windfall that he's never giong to even see would have been sickening.

[Nerf]

It's not as satisfying as it would've been if you weren't a blind bastard. *sigh*

I triple checked the name before I gave ya the money, so 1bil should be there when ya login.

[Phred]

This one is partly the UI's fault but I'll take the blame anyway. Everyone who's on when I am probably knows how much trouble I had with the bigger missions that featured a lot of agro ships. When I did the tutorial it said to use the journal-> mission sheet to find your way to the mission. Later, iirc, it mentioned the right click on space method for going the same place. I've always used the journal method because it works for several zones away as well as to jump locally. What I hadn't noticed until yesterday is that right clicking space gives you a "Jump to within xkm" menu item which is totally non-existant in the journal menu. So I was always jumping to 0 to get back to those missions. I did the Blockade Runners today with no problems at all jumping in at 100km and kiting the damn ships while me and my drones killed the fast ones.

My big question is, how do you get a job as a programmer being that bad? Either they throw a different dev on the ui every time they add something, who's unfamiliar with the code, or the ui programmer has down's syndrome I guess.

[Endie]

This one is partly the UI's fault but I'll take the blame anyway. Everyone who's on when I am probably knows how much trouble I had with the bigger missions that featured a lot of agro ships. When I did the tutorial it said to use the journal-> mission sheet to find your way to the mission. Later, iirc, it mentioned the right click on space method for going the same place. I've always used the journal method because it works for several zones away as well as to jump locally. What I hadn't noticed until yesterday is that right clicking space gives you a "Jump to within xkm" menu item which is totally non-existant in the journal menu. So I was always jumping to 0 to get back to those missions. I did the Blockade Runners today with no problems at all jumping in at 100km and kiting the damn ships while me and my drones killed the fast ones.

My big question is, how do you get a job as a programmer being that bad? Either they throw a different dev on the ui every time they add something, who's unfamiliar with the code, or the ui programmer has down's syndrome I guess.

To be fair, some missions are set up specifically to allow you to do that, but most (deadspace ones) will always see you turn up at the same place.

Of course, you can swap setups or even ships to kite the enemy away from the warpin then come back fitted for damage, if you need to,

[Slayerik]

So I was getting ready to pay endie back a big chunk of money, did a char search and right clicked "give money".

Did anyone know that theres a Justinius flavius too?  If this is one of your alts, please forward the billion isk I accidentally sent him to JustiniANUS flavius.  Thanks.

Endie, I'll pay ya back still, no worries.

I hope you are joking. You have to be like 3000% sure when sending money man!

[Endie]

I think he's trolling.  That said, I just logged into Flav to look for the transaction and am still space-poor, so I am beginning to get tense!

[VickeVire]

This one is partly the UI's fault but I'll take the blame anyway. Everyone who's on when I am probably knows how much trouble I had with the bigger missions that featured a lot of agro ships. When I did the tutorial it said to use the journal-> mission sheet to find your way to the mission. Later, iirc, it mentioned the right click on space method for going the same place. I've always used the journal method because it works for several zones away as well as to jump locally. What I hadn't noticed until yesterday is that right clicking space gives you a "Jump to within xkm" menu item which is totally non-existant in the journal menu. So I was always jumping to 0 to get back to those missions. I did the Blockade Runners today with no problems at all jumping in at 100km and kiting the damn ships while me and my drones killed the fast ones.

My big question is, how do you get a job as a programmer being that bad? Either they throw a different dev on the ui every time they add something, who's unfamiliar with the code, or the ui programmer has down's syndrome I guess.

To be fair, some missions are set up specifically to allow you to do that, but most (deadspace ones) will always see you turn up at the same place.

Of course, you can swap setups or even ships to kite the enemy away from the warpin then come back fitted for damage, if you need to,

The warp to <distance> is bugged as you need to initiate the warp for the mission to spawn thus you always warp to the beacon. You have to stop ship and re-initiate your chosen warp-in distance. At lest that's my experience.

[SurfD]

I was under the impression that you always had to "warp to 0" the first time.  regardless of what you selected, you ALWAYS warped in at zero on your first approach.  You could then immediately warp out, and warp back in to whatever selected distance you desired.

[Akkori]

Where do I sign up to get a billion wired to me?

[Mook]

So here I am, happily grinding away level 3 missions for the glory of the Amarr Navy, when I get a missions that lands me in a mission belt full of Omber. "Hmm" says I, "tis a grand opportunity to pad me space wallet with some space minerals". So I finish the mission, then return in my battlecruiser refitted for defacing asteroids instead of ships for a spot of jetcan mining.

A little while later, my savvy business sense (read: my short attention span) kicks in and I do some quick calculations... damn, I'd be getting a lot more money if I just did missions than if I spent hours mining out this Omber belt. So I pack up, get my indy and haul my loot in the form of 10.5k units of Omber off to the station. I dock, turn in the mission, and unload and refine the Omber. Mmmm sweet sweet Isogen. Then, just as I move my mouse over it to check on market prices, my Eve-mail inbox starts blinking at me. What's this? I open the mail and start reading: "Hi, I am Joe Missiongiver, and I am in need of your services for a very special mission. I need you to bring me 10k units of Omber."

...

...


w.T.FFFFFF?!!!?$?@#$%#%^^#@$$%#@

So now, because I just turned in the mission less than a minute beforehand, the Omber belt has disappeared. Which leaves me flying 11 jumps AWAY from the mission agent to buy a buttload of Omber to ship to him. 

[lac]

Its probably a trial run for ccp's intelligent missioning implementation 

[SurfD]

nah, he probably got incredibly lucky (unlucky) on the random number generator and got one of those storyline missions that want minerals or something.

[Phildo]

Ive gotten that storyline mission before nowhere, too.  Had to by ALL the ore, though.  That hurt the wallet.

[Kamen]

Years ago as a budding piewat I took my shiny new Ferox of Doom hunting in low sec.  “Ahh hah!” says I, “Thar be a tasty Osprey in a belt!”  As I am arriving in the belt he’s already warping out.  My uber scanning skills quickly locate him at a planet and I warp.

Not there, hmmm.  “He must be at a moon!”, and I scan again.

There he is!

I warp.

"What's this?  He's inside a POS force field?"

I die.

He laughs.

Many lessons learned that day.

[Murgos]

I got one mission to bring 2.5 million units of Tri to a station in 0.2 space.  I would have been hauling for two days!  Not to mention that it would cost me ~7 mil to fill the order.

I canceled it and got it again on the next ask.  After that I moved to 0.0, I figured it was a message from the AI.  

[Kamen]

On most of the "bring X amount of minerals to Y" storyline missions you will find that enterprising carebears have already provided you a nice stockpile to buy at the station in question.  You might only make a small amount (or maybe even lose a little money) by just buying them and finishing the mission, but you get the mission done quickly and gain the standings.

[Moosehands]

The warp to <distance> is bugged as you need to initiate the warp for the mission to spawn thus you always warp to the beacon. You have to stop ship and re-initiate your chosen warp-in distance. At lest that's my experience.

Tested this last night on Zazzmatazz missions and it seemed to work.  I chose "warp to 0", then killed the warp as soon as the mission notification window popped up.  I was then able to warp to 50, 70, and 100 (tried it with 3 different instances because while variety may be the spice of life lutefisk is apparently the spice of Iceland).

[Phildo]

I just woke up a little while ago and am a little bleary-eyed because I stayed up pretty damn late playing the game yesterday.  So the first thing I do when I log in is attempt to swap into my Dominix and instead of hitting Make Active, I apparently clicked on Trash It.  Confirmation dialog boxes barely register in my mind anymore, so before I knew it my Domi was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

What are the chances CCP will reimburse me with cash or return the ship?

[Slayerik]

Say your kid did it or something.

You're prolly hosed, i wouldnt expect any fittings/rigs back...sorry man

[Der Helm]

I just woke up a little while ago and am a little bleary-eyed because I stayed up pretty damn late playing the game yesterday.  So the first thing I do when I log in is attempt to swap into my Dominix and instead of hitting Make Active, I apparently clicked on Trash It.  Confirmation dialog boxes barely register in my mind anymore, so before I knew it my Domi was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

What are the chances CCP will reimburse me with cash or return the ship?

[Stephen Zepp]

Here's mine, although it's relatively low cost to most of those above:

Prepping for our op today, I moved my ship plus a cargo hold full of pretty high cost (for my skill level of course--we're not talking T2 stuff here) refit mods to a staging platform. I basically bought double of everything, and ferried the modules to the staging area so I'd be ready to go if I died.

I have the honor of being scout (sacrifice to the blood gods), which is awesome (had a blast!), make it through about 5 systems with no problem.

Not quite understanding where we are or what the engagement rules are, I come across a warp bubble plus 4 "neutrals", and after reporting them on vent, chill for 30 seconds or so waiting for the fleet to warp in so I can go scout the next system. Of course, while WE are Not Red Don't Shoot, we're in enemy territory, so they are Not Blue Shoot It, and were toying with me waiting for more to show up.

I die of course, and after getting podded, open up my Assets display so I can autopilot back to my depot...hrm...why can't I find the depot with all my extra mods I bought?

About 45 seconds later it hit me--I never unloaded them from my cargo hold, so they dropped with my wreck. Chalk one up to being TOO prepared I guess, without the situational awareness needed to go with it!

[Reg]

Decimal points matter. I discovered this after accidentally placing  a buy order for 10 million pyerite at 425 isk each instead of 4.25.

Someone was decent enough to convo me about it and warn me what had happened but not until I'd paid out 2 billion isk for vastly overpriced pyerite. I was lucky it happened in a quiet station in Nakugard.

[Vedi]

Decimal points matter. I discovered this after accidentally placing  a buy order for 10 million pyerite at 425 isk each instead of 4.25.

Ouch! I've set the wrong price a few times as well, but nothing as bad as that. Once, I forgot to add a couple of zeroes to the price of Invulnerability Fhield IIs I was unloading in Dodixie. I knew I had done a mistake as I pressed the button, but all the buy orders for Invulnerability Fields IIs in Dodixie was filled that day. Luckily, it wasn't too many. 50-100 or so I think.

[Phildo]

I accidentally placed a buy order for a few Incursus at 15,000.  Couldn't figure out for the life of me why I hadn't gotten any after a few days.

[Nerf]

I accidentally keep placing buy orders for cargo scanners at like 6.5k, until some bastard accidentally places a buy order for 1 isk more and I have to run back to jita to accidentally modify it.

[Phildo]

Der.  They restored my Domi (hooray), but they did it near Murini where I was at the time, instead of in Prometheia.  So now I need to try and sneak it down to 0.0 when no one's gate-camping.

[Endie]

Der.  They restored my Domi (hooray), but they did it near Murini where I was at the time, instead of in Prometheia.  So now I need to try and sneak it down to 0.0 when no one's gate-camping.

If you spot me around at the time then just ask: I usually have an alpha-clone scout that I can use to get you down there safely.  Not that gatecamps are common, anyway.  And just ask in TheCitadel about the status of the nearest pipe (Kari, Dital or Misaba) and you'll find out pretty quickly what's up where.

[Quinton]

So, I finally can fly a battlecruiser.  I manage to bring my shiny new Drake down to Provi in one piece and am enjoying the fact that I can actually deal with the bigger rats in a pretty manageable way, my security status is ticking upward, etc, etc.  I notice that the thing is damn slow to align (wow 16s is an eternity).  Sadly a while later I accidentally warp in at 0 (far too close to the asteroids for comfort) and instead of warping back out and coming back in at 50K or so where I have room to work, I kick on the MWD and try to swing out around the rats.

Shortly after, they start attacking, I get hung up in asteroids with the ship bouncing back and forth but not turning and while trying to get it righted so I can warp the hell out the way I should have in the first place, I get destroyed.

Highly embarrassing.  Thankfully it was insured, and the bounties on the rats helped a bit toward the insurance, so the overall loss was not horrible financially.  As I'm a packrat, I had actually brought down spares of all the fittings and I could buy a replacement boat for not too much of a premium over what I'd pay in empire (worth it not to have to go all the way out and back again).  Lesson learned.

I would post to the killboard if there was a way to correctly credit the asteroids for the kill.

Also, I now observe a moment of silence for the 5 drones that died a horrible death in my drone bay.

[Phildo]

<silence>

[Endie]

Does everyone know that you only need to tank EM (primarily) and thermal (about a third of the damage) when ratting in Provi?  Sansha rats almost entirely focus their damage like that, so they are really easy to tank.  If you go for an omni tank and are in a Caldari ship in particular they're a pain, but focussing your resists should make tanking them easy.

And remember to salvage: the melted capacitors that they drop - particularly the battlecruisers and battleships - are often worth more than the bounties: just dump the metal scraps which take up tons of space for a few IS in value.  The T2 salvage from True Sansha spawns can be worth even more.

[Gets]

[Stephen Zepp]

That is just awesome ;) I especially love the overhang.

[TheWalrus]

I like how even after playing awhile you still get run over by the bulldozer o doom.