December 14th. "I am Legend." Fucking be there.

[stu]

I pissed about Independence Day when it came out because that flick out-hyped the vastly superior Mars Attacks! which came out around the same time.

[voodoolily]

I eagerly await schild's tears of rage when he discovers to his dismay that this movie is based on a fairly serious book that uses the metaphor of vampires as a metaphor for discrimination.

For Real.

Schild, why do you keep doing this to yourself.  It's like watching a woman get constantly slapped by her husband.  Sure, it's funny, but after a while the mind starts wandering.

rofl

[schild]

I don't get the problem.

I enjoy mindless Will Smith movies. I go in expecting nothing and I'm never let down.

Perhaps you all are the ones with the problems.

[voodoolily]

He's a perfectly decent actor - he was fine as Ali and he's in that one serious movie where he's homeless or something and there's a kid. He's been typecast cuzza MIB but I don't fault him for it.

[HaemishM]

I pissed about Independence Day when it came out because that flick out-hyped the vastly superior Mars Attacks! which came out around the same time.

Mars Attacks was shitty shit shit shit as well. Another Tim Burton wankfest.

[stu]

Mars Attacks was great! The difference is that Independence Day is the kind of flick that has the family dog narrowly escaping death while Mars Attacks! would have the dog being vaporized.

[Teleku]

Bleh, I agree, Mars Attacks was ass.  It's only redeeming factor was Tom Jones.

[Yegolev]

That's a pretty big redeeming factor.  Also it was hilarious.

[Sky]

Perhaps you all are the ones with the problems.

paranoia |?par??noi?| noun a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.

Oh, and the best satan:

[Samwise]

Any good casting decisions made for any of the supporting characters in Constantine are completely nullified by casting Keanu as John Constantine.  NOTHING can redeem that.  It's not just that Keanu is a bad actor (which he is), it's that making Constantine into an emo American guy is a goddamn travesty.

Daniel Craig would have made a kickass Constantine.

[stray]

For my money, Angel Heart had the best Satan.

Understated works best for me. 


Oh, and the worst one was the End of Days Terminator-chap shit.  Jesus Wept.

Angel Heart is one of my favorite movies (top 10 at least), but I'm gonna have to go with Viggo. I like a lot of the portrayals in films, but most of them are strictly devilish. While Mortensen pulls off the, uh, "I can see why God used to like him" aspect.

Keanu was funny in Constantine, I thought.

[Samwise]

You need to go pick up one of the Hellblazer comics and then tell me that Keanu's performance was in any way acceptable.

I did enjoy the movie when I first saw it, but reading the source material and realizing how good it could have been pretty much ruined it for me.

[stray]

I've read Hellblazer. I know he isn't the John Constantine from those comics, and would agree that Daniel Craig would have been great in it.


That being said, it still happened to be one of the movies (to me) where Keanu both reached a little, and didn't do so bad.

[SnakeCharmer]

EYE..AM...AN....EFF...BEE...EYE...AGENT!!!

[stray]

Dude, Point Break rocks. 

[Polysorbate80]

It can't be worse than I, Robot, can it? At least it isn't raping Asimov.

"I, Robot" wasn't stellar, but it was entertaining. I frankly don't know how one could go about making it into a movie without major changes to the source material (specifically, turning super-snatch Susan Calvin into someone I don't want to see dismembered by angry mobs.)

Although, to be fair, I've never read Asimov's actual screenplay version of it.

And "Mars Attacks!" fucking rocks.  "Don't run, we are your friends...."

[Roac]

Eh, I don't get the hate.  Really enjoyed Independance Day.  Mars Attacks was so-so funny, but I don't much enjoy that sort of humor.  Big points for the tons of cameos and killing... everyone.  Constantine was so-so.  Fans probably loathe it, but comming into it blind as I did means I don't care much about that.  Better than the Terminator-Satan flick.  I Robot was good, but you're not going to capture the type of message Asimov had in the books in a Hollywood production.  It's an action/thriller.  Go in with that mindset and you're fine.

Same thing with I Am Legend.  Don't expect it to be like the books.  Expect Will Smith to shoot up Zom-Pires while bitching about how it sucks to be so alone.  Sort of like how ID was about Will Smith shooting up aliens in between bitching at government officials, or I, Robot was Will Smith shooting up robots in between bitching about corporate power.  Insert love interest.  Insert some measure of self-sacrifice.  Insert explosions.  Insert plot twist during the resolution.

[bhodi]

Same thing with I Am Legend.  Don't expect it to be like the books.  Expect Will Smith to shoot up Zom-Pires while bitching about how it sucks to be so alone.  Sort of like how ID was about Will Smith shooting up aliens in between bitching at government officials, or I, Robot was Will Smith shooting up robots in between bitching about corporate power.  Insert love interest.  Insert some measure of self-sacrifice.  Insert explosions.  Insert plot twist during the resolution.

You forgot Will Smith shooting up saloons in between bitching about slavery.

Yeah; it's formulaic and I love it. This movie's gonna be fun.

[stray]

Since we're talking about both Smith and Keanu, did you know that Will Smith was the original choice for Neo? I can't even imagine how that would have worked.

[Tale]

I liked Independence Day when I saw it in the theaters, but it REALLY falls flat the more you see it. Like, "Wow, this fucking movie is so stupid, my frontal lobe feels cornholed" stupid. It absolutely requires turning off any cognitive thought to make the movie watchable these days.

I was living in the UK when Independence Day came out. Jeff Goldblum was interviewed on the BBC and expressed surprise at the movie in its released form. He said all through production, the actors thought they were making a comedy. The studio turned it into a special effects blockbuster instead. If you think back to the movie, you can see this - the actors are being funny and the plot satirises the USA, but the movie is edited into a dramatic, patriotic blockbuster.

[Mrbloodworth]

I pissed about Independence Day when it came out because that flick out-hyped the vastly superior Mars Attacks! which came out around the same time.

Mars Attacks was shitty shit shit shit as well. Another Tim Burton wankfest.

Mars attacks was one of the best movies ever created.

[DraconianOne]

You need to go pick up one of the Hellblazer comics and then tell me that Keanu's performance was in any way acceptable.

I did enjoy the movie when I first saw it, but reading the source material and realizing how good it could have been pretty much ruined it for me.

If it's faithful adaptation you want, then yeah, stay the hell away but they kept the spirit of the character (even if they raped the story) and it was a well directed, decently acted, fairly well written and above all else, enjoyable film.  Hell, they even killed the annoying sidekick and Kanoe doesn't get the girl.  Plus Cate Blanchett was pretty cool too.

Typhon - Peter Stormare was the big kidnapper in Fargo, the Italian torturer in Gilliam's Brother's Grimm, the russian Cosmonaut in the fuckawful Armageddon, the batshit doctor who replaces Tom Cruise's eyes in Minority Report and the voice of the Finnish mercenary in LA's Mercenaries (as well as Pvt Strauss in Quake 4). 

Louis Cyphre was excellent in Angel Heart.  Had forgotten about that.  Have seen The Prophecy too but was under the influence so don't remember what the fuck went on. 

Independence Day was fucking awful.  Nice big explosions at the start but after that, it hurls fucking chunks and has nothing to redeem it at all.  It's marginally better than Godzilla which was terrible.  Mars Attacks, on the other hand, was excellent.  Very, very funny and totally taking the piss out the whole alien invasion genre.  The worst of the lot though is Signs which was a bitter, tragic and absolute fucking disappointment.   

[MrHat]

Cate Blanchett?

[Rasix]

Typhon - Peter Stormare was the big kidnapper in Fargo, the Italian torturer in Gilliam's Brother's Grimm, the russian Cosmonaut in the fuckawful Armageddon, the batshit doctor who replaces Tom Cruise's eyes in Minority Report and the voice of the Finnish mercenary in LA's Mercenaries (as well as Pvt Strauss in Quake 4). 

You forgot Uli Kunkel (aka Karl Hungus). 



He'll cut off your Johnshon!

Plus Cate Blanchett was pretty cool too.

And I think you mean Tilda Swinton.

[Merusk]

He'll also unpimp your auto.

[DraconianOne]

And I think you mean Tilda Swinton.

You're right.  I did.  Cate Blanchett was being interviewed on TV while I wrote that. 

[bhodi]

We've got two out of three branches of government, and that ain't bad.

[Hoax]

I stopped reading this thread when I got to page2, because really I don't need to add a bunch more of you people to my "god what useless fucking bitchasses" mental category...

For real, stop being such fucks.  I know its cute and all on the internets but fuck off with it already.

ID was a fun movie for anyone who is currently 2X or who is capable of enjoying an American action movie who saw it that fourth of July weekend.  Shit the theater I was in had fucking applause in like 4 places from the utterly stupid but in the fun of the movie pretty funny one-liners.  Back then we were all high on how awesome America was and the movie was a good time.

Seeing it on TV makes it suck.
Seeing it more then once makes it suck.
Seeing it and not being American might make it suck for all I fucking know.  If that is the case Ironwood gets a free pass, to hell with the rest of you.

But you assholes who swear that somebody enjoying a stupid movie is the end of the goddamn world need to fucking get out more.  You post on a fucking video game centric message board.  Your taste in art?  Nobody fucking cares.

The world doesn't need more douchebags claiming to be critics talking shit about movies that are fun to watch once when you feel like being entertained for two mindless hours.  We've got plenty.  Please find a different line of being an ass.

[Rasix]

Ohh, whatever would we do if you weren't here to set us straight? 

Quick, go pop in somewhere else and lay down the law.

[Samwise]

If it's faithful adaptation you want, then yeah, stay the hell away but they kept the spirit of the character

I'm going to try really hard not to go into a comic book nerd rage fueled rant here, so I will just say: PFFFFT.

[lamaros]

But you assholes who swear that somebody enjoying a stupid movie is the end of the goddamn world need to fucking get out more.  You post on a fucking video game centric message board.  Your taste in art?  Nobody fucking cares.

The world doesn't need more douchebags claiming to be critics talking shit about movies that are fun to watch once when you feel like being entertained for two mindless hours.  We've got plenty.  Please find a different line of being an ass.

Amen brother!

What we do need are more critics of people! Especially seeing how knowledge of movies gained through watching movies is so much more inferior to knowledge of people through reading some posts on a message board.

[Hoax]

Do you actually consider that witty sarcasm?

 

[lamaros]

Surely not. It's not green.

[Triforcer]

The best Satan ever to grace either the small or the large screen is John Glover.  Obscure pop culture cred if you can remember in what without looking it up. 

[stray]

Heh, well, I don't know how you're going to fact check... If you're talking about the guy who plays Lex Luthor's dad though, I'd like to see it! He's great. The only other thing I've seen him in was Scrooged, and that was a bit part.