Attn Ubisoft Montreal

[Nerf]

Please die in a fire.

Thanks,

Nerf

[Strazos]

Someone certainly hates Grand Theft Assas Assassin's Creed.

[Nerf]

No, I loved about 98% of it, therein lies the problem.

[geldonyetich2]

I've been there before.  It's much easier to put down a game that has absolutely no merit, but when it's a good game with a single, agonizingly bad design decision, that's when it channels hellfire to the gaming cortex of my brain.

[Phildo]

Which awful design decision are we talking about?  I hope it's the sci-fi, racial memory DNA reconstruction bullshit!

[Nerf]

Actually, I thought that part was executed flawlessly, and their little explanation with the birds migratory patterns and whatnot will surely baffle stoners for years, it's the current timeline story that was horribly executed and left so unfinished it seems like they just shipped it without finishing.

[Megrim]

I totally thought that this was going to be a thread about how Lowtax is being sued for being insensitive to Jade. Google the comic yourselves, i ain't linking it here.

[schild]

[Megrim]

Haha, oooh.

[Phildo]

Am I the only one upset that he went out to buy a game about assassins messing up the Crusaders' day and instead got that wrapped up in a schlocky sci-fi/paranormal shell?  Seriously, having the camera go all cloudy with nucleotides every time I pick something up or complete a mission is REALLY annoying.  I find that it destroys the whole tone of the game, which is otherwise awesome.

[Nerf]

Have you finished it yet?

[Phildo]

Not even close.  It's test week =(

[Nerf]

Ah, yea, you would love it then.

[murdoc]

Am I the only one upset that he went out to buy a game about assassins messing up the Crusaders' day and instead got that wrapped up in a schlocky sci-fi/paranormal shell?  Seriously, having the camera go all cloudy with nucleotides every time I pick something up or complete a mission is REALLY annoying.  I find that it destroys the whole tone of the game, which is otherwise awesome.

I don't like it either. I especially don't like it when instead of Assassinating their motherfucking, I'm directing some tool to his bedroom so that I can see a subtitle that says 'The next morning'.

[Strazos]

Can someone explain this mysterious pic? Google isn't working; all I get are normal face shots and such.

[Trippy]

Just view the Web page results instead of Google images and you'll see plenty of descriptions of what was the comic shows.

[Strazos]

Yar, Digg did it.

Seriously, I wonder why Ubisoft would even dignify this with a response.

But hey, at least the...artist, drew her kinda cute minus the spooge, of course.

[NiX]

Your game feels so good! UGGGGGG!

[Special J]

Am I the only one upset that he went out to buy a game about assassins messing up the Crusaders' day and instead got that wrapped up in a schlocky sci-fi/paranormal shell?  Seriously, having the camera go all cloudy with nucleotides every time I pick something up or complete a mission is REALLY annoying.  I find that it destroys the whole tone of the game, which is otherwise awesome.

Well I haven't played it yet, though I probably will; But yes, I'm irritated by the exact same thing. The fact that Ubisoft had something really cool and they just couldn't help themselves from pulling all sorts of Matrix bullshit.

[Nerf]

I actually liked the whole schlocky sci-fi shell, it goes further to explain why you have a HUD of any sort without breaking immersion than any game I can think of, and it's giving them an entirely new yet still connected storyline for the sequel.  That's not the problem, the problem is that they could've given another 10-20 minutes of gameplay to flesh out the new storyline ever so slightly and I would've been fucking stoked, instead I feel empty and dirty, I bet this is what rape feels like.

[Big Gulp]

Yar, Digg did it.

Seriously, I wonder why Ubisoft would even dignify this with a response.

But hey, at least the...artist, drew her kinda cute minus the spooge, of course.

The comic is stupid, but she and Ubisoft pretty much deserve it.  Every picture I've seen of the "developers" shows her prominently on display, while everyone else is cast in the shadows like they're a crew of Morlocks.  Live by vagina marketing, die by vagina marketing.

[Wolf]

Yar, Digg did it.

Seriously, I wonder why Ubisoft would even dignify this with a response.

But hey, at least the...artist, drew her kinda cute minus the spooge, of course.

The comic is stupid, but she and Ubisoft pretty much deserve it.  Every picture I've seen of the "developers" shows her prominently on display, while everyone else is cast in the shadows like they're a crew of Morlocks.  Live by vagina marketing, die by vagina marketing.

It's not that much stupid, as much as it gets it's point across SA style. Comes with the territory :)

[Jain Zar]

Its Ubisoft.  It won't stop them from making more forgettably average games in the future either way. 

What's funny is apparently the lady whose entire journalistic career was founded on doing things with a Rez Trance Vibrator has spoken out in whatsherface's defense.

OOokay!

[geldonyetich2]

Can someone explain this mysterious pic? Google isn't working; all I get are normal face shots and such.

I haven't found the it either, but it sounds like I'm not missing much.

[Nerf]

Digg "assassin's creed comic", I found it pretty quickly.

Edit: It's funny, but it could've been a hell of a lot funnier, fucking hacks.

[AngryGumball]

heh, managed to find that comic good chuckle.

[UnSub]

The comic is stupid, but she and Ubisoft pretty much deserve it.  Every picture I've seen of the "developers" shows her prominently on display, while everyone else is cast in the shadows like they're a crew of Morlocks.  Live by vagina marketing, die by vagina marketing.

HAHA! Take that Jade! That'll learn you to be pretty and following a career in game development! How dare you as a producer stand up and present the game you worked on after management said it'd be a good idea! You deserve to take multiple facials in a webcomic because you hogged the limelight, unlike all those other games where everyone who works on it gets equal billing and stage time! You're only there because you're pretty, because game studios have plenty of cash available to hire a pretty woman to pretend to develop a game and appear in interviews and photoshoots! You whore! Hopefully the next comic that comes out has you doing something REALLY DEGRADING! HAHA!

                  

Motherfucking christ. Lord help the first prominently gay developer of a major game and the webcomics he'd get.

[UnSub]

Interestingly Unsurprisingly, the original comic appears to come from deviantART

http://teh-dave.deviantart.com/art/Buy-Jade-s-Game-69521746 (link is safe for work at this point, but clicking on 'Download' is very very NSFW)

UPDATE - that page has been pulled.

[schild]

It's by Chugworth. There's no "question" of where it came from.

[UnSub]

It's by Chugworth. There's no "question" of where it came from.

All of the articles I've read mention incorrectly Lowtax as the creator, whereas you're right, it's David Cheung aka Chugworth. I guess he's got a letter coming to him from Ubisoft too, if he hasn't already got it.

[schild]

David's art is pretty recognizable. I dislike the misinformation being spread about this though.

[Miasma]

It's by Chugworth. There's no "question" of where it came from.

All of the articles I've read mention incorrectly Lowtax as the creator, whereas you're right, it's David Cheung aka Chugworth. I guess he's got a letter coming to him from Ubisoft too, if he hasn't already got it.

Well he's certainly not claiming credit.

[schild]

Huh?

   
 I lolled.

Yes, apparently Ubi-Soft were none too pleased at the denizens of Something Awful posting my Assassin's Creed comic. Also, have a giggle at the AIDS ridden losers who post on SA harping on about moral authority. These faggots PAY to post on a forum. That says it all, really.

IMMEASURABLE HARM, MOTHERFUCKERS!

http://chugworth.com/

Pretty straightforward to me.

[Ookii]

From: Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (webmaster@somethingawful.com)
Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2007 9:06 PM
To: 'Anderson, David'
Cc: A BUNCH OF FRENCHIES
Subject: RE: NOTICE: Infringement of ASSASSIN'S CREED Mark and Jade Raymond's Personal, Privacy, and Publicity Rights

Please let it be known that hereforth I have read the express mail and email sent thereforth by Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP, and furthermore a declaration shall be expressed on the part of Internet User Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka that thatforth herethrough I have conducted rigorous tests implemented through a vigorous barrage of legal studies, and furthermore hitherthrough these rigorous tests have therefore proven Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP shall be recognized as a man of the fag persuasion.

Pursuant to the United Dairy Council

Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka
Internet

[schild]

Pretty much the funniest letter ever.