Fantasy Hockey, '07-'08

[Azaroth]

Fuck this, you know what. I bet this is a cock match.

The Russians started offering people crazy huge contracts. NHL owners got all butthurt and are deciding to throw around insane dough on mediocre players in some ridiculous rich man's pissing match.

There can be absolutely no other explanation. These UFA signings have been the fucking absolute height of stupidity. Complete insanity. TV analysts are swearing and laughing on the air when they announce them. It's a joke.

Look, offering 12.5 to Malkin was craziness on the part of the Russians. Someone wanted to make a statement, and didn't care about losing money. But for 11.3 to be offered to HOSSA, and more would have been offered except for the fact that 11.3 is the absolute max that CAN be offered... I mean, fuck. At least Malkin was a Hart Trophy candidate.

So unless every GM and owner in the league recently submitted to a forcible ear fucking that damaged their fucking medula oblongotas, this has to be a fucking game of ye olde cashpeen. My roll is bigger than yours, fuckers!

[murdoc]

What a joke. the lockout apparently was just to get Goodenow out of the NHLPA, since nothing else has really come of it. The owners 'won' and now they're fucking each other over hard.

Mike fucking Commodore got almost a 4mil/yr contract for the next 5 years. COME ON.

[naum]

What a joke. the lockout apparently was just to get Goodenow out of the NHLPA, since nothing else has really come of it. The owners 'won' and now they're fucking each other over hard.

Mike fucking Commodore got almost a 4mil/yr contract for the next 5 years. COME ON.

Bleh. NHL is just joining NFL, NBA, and MLB (and international soccer clubs) in excessive and extravagant player salaries.

I reckon their financial books weren't as bad as they let on or magical new fountains of revenue are gushing fat profits.

I beileve the salary cap goes up to 57M (from 50M) and minimum (which is good I think to ensure competitiveness) is 34M. For one skater to take up ~20% of that, he better be MVP caliber. I don't think Hossa worth that though I'd shell it out for Malkin or Crosby.

UPDATE: just as I completed this post - breaking story - Hossa goes to Red Wings for 7.4M

[Azaroth]

Ancient Chinese Secret:

Sign contract in Detroit for one year to win yourself a cup, then sign the most ridiculous deal offered on July 1 the year after. Play for Columbus (actually, Boston) for the rest of your career at 10 or 11 per.

[cmlancas]

Ancient Chinese Secret:

Sign contract in Detroit for one year to win yourself a cup, then sign the most ridiculous deal offered on July 1 the year after.Play Underperform for Columbus (actually, Boston) for the rest of your career at 10 or 11 per.

FIFY

[WayAbvPar]

If the Canucks don't fucking bring some goddamned scoring in, I am driving to GM Place and setting the fucker on fire.

[Azaroth]

Ancient Chinese Secret:

Sign contract in Detroit for one year to win yourself a cup, then sign the most ridiculous deal offered on July 1 the year after.Play Underperform for Columbus (actually, Boston) for the rest of your career at 10 or 11 per.

FIFY

I had figured that was already understood by all concerned.

Bust your balls, get your glory, have a great, memorable season in Detroit. Then retire on your feet as you coast to a fat paycheck for the next 8 years or so.

Pretty gay to jet to Detroit from Pittsburgh, though.

[Fordel]

Did the Leafs just get Cujo back?

Are they trying to appeal to my sense of nostalgia?

[Azaroth]

Did the Leafs just get Cujo back?

Are they trying to appeal to my sense of nostalgia?

Yes.

They're tanking the next few years on purpose, but are also attempting to appeal to every delusional Leafs fan they can. I've already seen people talking about how they're going to make the playoffs this year, etc.

These are the same people who aren't switched on enough to realize the strategic value of tanking a few seasons right now, though. So obviously it's calculated, and obviously it's smart. It's faggotry through and through, however - and the same reason they've made a few crappy signings (which they had to overpay for, since nobody wants to come to a team that's obviously going to be awful for many years and ripped on by a savage media every single day), and the same reason they're talking about resigning Sundin. I assume they have plenty of confidence that putting Sundin on the ice with an AHL team will still net them the first overall pick, while simultaneously giving really dumb fans something to tune in for.

[murdoc]

In defence of the Leafs, signing Joseph was the one thing that they have done right. He was perfect as a 15-20 game backup, the price is right, and his whole family stayed in Ontario. It was a good fit all around imo.

Flames haven't done much but move Tanguay, who wanted out anyway, and get Camalleri, who is happy to be going to Calgary. If he can stay healthy, that's a decent pick-up imo. Some of the fat has been trimmed off the team. Huselius can be good in spurts, but good luck keeping him motivated in Columbus now that he's getting almost 5 mil/yr for the next 4 years! 

[Fordel]

I like Cujo, but I thought he was done with us. There's usually only so much sane players can take from the Leafs.


I'll Believe the tanking plan when I see them dead last or near it at the end of this season. Leafs have a habit of failing to even LOSE properly.

[murdoc]

Flames sign Bertuzzi

I actually kind of like this deal. They basically replaced Owen Nolan, who signed with the Wild for a couple years, with Bertuzzi. Yeah, he comes with his baggage, but he's younger and cheaper than Nolan, plus the 1 year deal makes it a lot easier to swallow if it doesn't work out.

[Strazos]

The Flyers sign Arron Asham? Really?

They have more moves to make, as they are over the cap by a healthy margin currently...Unfortunately, I think Mike Knuble is going to be first up on the chopping block.

[Azaroth]

Whatever. Some teams have had it a bit rough this offseason. I mean, the Penguins lost our entire fourth line and half of the third, plus Malone, Hossa and almost Orpik, but... fuck, I feel sorry for the Canucks.

Who the hell are they going to put on the ice? They had no offense to begin with...

[Azaroth]

You know what, fuck that. They should trade the Sedins, Luongo and their best D-men for like 8 first rounders, then make a run for Tavares and tank out the next 3-5 seasons with the Leafs. Then you come out guns blazing and it's all worth it. I'm a Pens fan - I know.

[WayAbvPar]

Seeing Bertuzzi as a Flame is going to be excruciating. Especially when they are kicking the shit out of the woeful Canucks. They are going to be SO boring to watch. AGAIN this year.

[Azaroth]

And if you think Luongo isn't bolting at the end of his contract, you're deluding yourself. Trade him, rebuild.

Luongo + Defensive System can only get you so far every year. Start over before you're left with Sanford + Defensive System in 2010.

[Bunk]

I'm not bailing out hope yet. There's still a few things that have to come about. Demitra is still a reasonable possibility (I'm not holding my breath waiting for Sundin).

Assuming they sign Demitra, I look at it like this:

Demitra replaces Naslund, Wellwood replaces Morrison.

We add Bernier, who gives us a right handed shot with at least some scoring touch to play with the Sedins (something we've been missing for a while).


Major improvement? No, not really. Thing is though, the Canucks missed the playoffs last year by what, a couple games? Lets not forget, that was after a year  in which our top 4 deffensemen missed 60% of the season. We had games where we were playing Bourdon (who was no where near ready for the NHL yet, RIP), McIver (a thug with barely AHL talent), Miller (42 years old?), and Weaver (career number 6 d-man) all in the same game!

[murdoc]

Major improvement? No, not really. Thing is though, the Canucks missed the playoffs last year by what, a couple games? Lets not forget, that was after a year  in which our top 4 deffensemen missed 60% of the season. We had games where we were playing Bourdon (who was no where near ready for the NHL yet, RIP), McIver (a thug with barely AHL talent), Miller (42 years old?), and Weaver (career number 6 d-man) all in the same game!

One of the big problems the Canucks face is just the simple fact that a good number of teams in the West got better. Chicago and Edmonton (ugh) have made some really nice moves. Detroit didn't do anything but get better, Calgary might not be as bad off as I originally feared and if they stay health, might actually improve on last year, LA is still gonna suck, the Wild and Avalanche ALWAYS seem to be in the mix, no matter what happens. I think the Wild got a bit worse, but with the system they play they can plug in players pretty easily. Avalanche could be in a bit of trouble, but if they stay healthy this year I wouldn't count them out. Dallas easily got better and San Jose will still be very tough. Nashville played a bit over their heads last year imo, but without a move hanging over their heads, they may even make a better show of it this year. Phoenix looks like they might have gotten better, but not good enough and Columbus and St Louis won't make the playoffs either.

I was pretty meh about this upcoming season for some reason, but there's a lot of change going on that will make it pretty good imo

[WayAbvPar]

Unless Bernier and Demitra each score 40 goals, they are dead. They couldn't put the puck in the net to save their lives last year, even with Naslund's 25. Luongo should be a bit better now that his kid has been born, and the defense might be able to stay healthy. They could win a couple more games, but they are doing it UGLY. 2-1 hockey is dreadful.

[Azaroth]

Without Bernier and Demitra, you guys were cellar dwellers.

But it's just Bernier and Demitra.

Should have really held on to Naslund and Morrison. At that point, you might have had something. Especially if you could reel in Sundin.

I think you're all going to be real disappointed with another mediocre season. Why sign guys just to bring yourselves back up to sub-par?

Gillis has no vision.

And this all comes from someone who likes Vancouver, and roots for the Canucks by the way.

[HaemishM]

As a Wild fan, I can tell you not to expect much from Demitra. He was injured both years he was in Minnesota, and while not bad, he certainly didn't put them over the top. Expect lots of downtime for him, as he'll be a year older.

[WayAbvPar]

Just watching him skate faster than the goddamned plugs they have on the team now will be worth the bother of signing him. When he sprains his vagina, he can sit on the shelf with the other 10 Canucks who get hurt every year.

[Bunk]

Without Bernier and Demitra, you guys were cellar dwellers.

But it's just Bernier and Demitra.

Should have really held on to Naslund and Morrison. At that point, you might have had something. Especially if you could reel in Sundin.

I think you're all going to be real disappointed with another mediocre season. Why sign guys just to bring yourselves back up to sub-par?

Gillis has no vision.

And this all comes from someone who likes Vancouver, and roots for the Canucks by the way.

Naslund was never going to resign here. You don't ask the guy who has been the team captain for six years to resign at half his salary, because he sucked last year. He doesn't like Vineault's system, he wasn't going to stick around. Morrison I always liked, but his production has been down significantly. Wellwood should be able to fill in just fine for him.

As for Gillis, it doesn't seem so much a lack of vision, as much as he's being treated like the new guy by the other GMs. On top of that, free Agents don't really want to come to Vancouver because of the travel. Remeber, Nonis wasn't able to land any significant free agents here either.

I'm not going in with any huge expectations right now, especially with free agency still pending, but I'm not going to jump on the gloom and doom bandwagon either.

I do honestly feel that we have a potential breakout line that no one is expecting with Kessler and Burrows. They are both solid two way players with great speed. Two years ago they had 16 and 9 points respectively. Last year that improved to 37 and 31, playing as the third line and with no powerplay time. There was a reason Clarke offered 2.5 a year to Kessler.

[WayAbvPar]

Naslund has said he wanted to retire as a Canuck. Gillis never even offered him a contract. Tough for him to stay that way.

[Azaroth]

My advice is slice your expectations of Wellwood.

The Maple Leafs waived him, remember.

The Maple Leafs.


And besides, who the hell WANTS to play in a defensive system?

Get rid of the coach, FFS. Re-sign Naslund, grab Demitra, then kidnap Sundin's daughter (seriously, if he won't come for $10m per at age 37... what?). NOW you're on to something.

[Bunk]

Well, they just signed Demitra at least.

[WayAbvPar]

So- is he going to play with the Sedins, or on a mighty mite 2nd line of Raymond Wellwood Demitra? God they need another center that can score. Did Mo officially sign elsewhere? I can't remember.

[Fordel]

The first season or two with Wellwood, he had a lot of 'spark'. Would make plays out of nothing. Then he got injured and was just never the same. It's almost like he's scared to play anymore. I'm sure the wonderful Leaf Media Machine really helped him too 

[Bunk]

Morrison signed in Anaheim.

If I had to guess, I figure they'll start the season with Bernier playing with the Sedins. Gives you a second line of Demitra, Wellwood, and probably Taylor Pyatt? I'll guess at a third line of Kesler, Burrows, and Mason Raymond. Leaves a fourth line of Pettinger, Johnson, and either Cowan or Hordichuck. Of course all of that goes out the window when they sign Sundin.

 

[WayAbvPar]

Ah crap, that's right. Tuz to the Flames and Mo to the Ducks. I am not sure I hate two teams more.

Raymond might make that third line even more annoying...lot of speed at least. Hordichuk better get all Cowan's minutes; he was beyond useless last year.

I don't want Sundin here. He is old and fragile, and doesn't help the team get better in the long run. Rather see them win the Tavares sweepstakes.

[Strazos]

I don't want Sundin here. He is old and fragile, and doesn't help the team get better in the long run.

Seriously. I balked at the talk last season of the Flyers trading Carter for Sundin. That would have been a monumental error in judgment.

[naum]

I don't want Sundin here. He is old and fragile, and doesn't help the team get better in the long run.

Seriously. I balked at the talk last season of the Flyers trading Carter for Sundin. That would have been a monumental error in judgment.

O, that would have been like trading Sergei Zubov for Kevin Hatcher…

[Bunk]

I don't want to say it, but the the local sports radio guy is hinting at "reliable sources I can't name" indicating that the chance of Sundin signing in Vancouver is actually quite high. I can't decide how to feel about it. We do need a legit scorer, but I keep having Messier flashbacks. 

[murdoc]

I am soooo loving the Canucks trainwreck of an offseason.

The Blues 'payback' signing of Bernier was great too. Don't piss of JD! From the media reports here, Gillis is pissing off a lot of GMs right now which is making it harder for him to get deals done.