Sweet, sweet tears.

[K9]

Unlocking this. I think one of us fat-fingered the lock button, sorry.

I just assumed the thread locked itself out of despair.

[Paelos]

Come on, we'd never have MMO threads again if they could do that.

[SurfD]

When we were about 7 or so, she graduated to a Cattle Prod (the 8 or so D size battery kind).

This sounds super creepy, for a variety of reasons. 

Not really.  It had more to do with the fact that i think it was around that time that she broke one of the wooden spoons (split it length wize down the "spoon" part) paddling either me or my brother, and burst a blood vessel in the back of her hand while doing it.   She just figured that the spoon wasnt doing the trick and moved on to something that did.  I think we still have that spoon somewhere in the kitchen too.  I remember stirring something with it last time i was down home.

[Rishathra]

When we were about 7 or so, she graduated to a Cattle Prod (the 8 or so D size battery kind).

This sounds super creepy, for a variety of reasons. 

Not really.  It had more to do with the fact that i think it was around that time that she broke one of the wooden spoons (split it length wize down the "spoon" part) paddling either me or my brother, and burst a blood vessel in the back of her hand while doing it.   She just figured that the spoon wasnt doing the trick and moved on to something that did.  I think we still have that spoon somewhere in the kitchen too.  I remember stirring something with it last time i was down home.

You haven't made it sound ANY less creepy.  In fact, I think you exponentially increased the creepiness.

[UnSub]

When we were about 7 or so, she graduated to a Cattle Prod (the 8 or so D size battery kind).

This sounds super creepy, for a variety of reasons. 

Not really. 

Yes, really. "My mom hurt herself beating us and went hi-tech instead," isn't exactly non-creepy.

[SurfD]

Meh.  Guess you would have to be me or my brother then.  Just seems to be a sort of normal  part of my childhood to me.

Like I said, I grew up in a rural farming community with a twin brother.  We had about 20 acres of forrest, field and scrub to play in.  Most of our leisure time after school was spent romping around places that by most now "modern" standards would likely be considered death-traps for young kids.  I mean, god forbid you let a kid climb a tree, or play in a freshly plowed field.  They might actually scrape a knee or elbow.  We were the kind of kids who (at a certain age) would dare eachother to piss on the neighbouring farmer's electric fence for kicks.  We were pretty durable little buggers, and probably knew every tree worth climbing and puddle worth falling into by time we were 5 or 6.

When we stepped too far out of line, mom would usually spank us with the spoon (or dad would use a belt, yay for sexism).  I imagine the cattle prod came into use simply because A: it worked, and B: we were becomming a bit too big to turn over the knee for a spanking.   I mean, the spoon or belt (or hand or shoe or switch or whatever) is only effective untill the kid understands that a parent will only take it so far (otherwise they risk actually damaging their hellraizing spawn).  The cattle prod however, had the dual effect of being a good strong jolt (hey, it has a nice kick to it) without any danger of harm to the recipient.

My brother and i got the hint pretty quickly.  Hell, mom probably spanked us more often with the spoon then she ever used the cattle prod.  From what I recall of that age of my life, I remmeber it more as a deterrent (as in, it is there, and i know what it does, and i dont want none of that) then I ever remember it actually being used.

In reality, I guess it was more mother graduating from "physical dicipline" to "psychological warefare", then simply going high tech.

[Merusk]

And that, ladies and gentlemen is a textbook example of why abuse is cyclical.  The kids grow up to just think it's normal, and in the end would turn intoa frothing, gibbering mass to defend their parent's insane actions.

[NiX]

I should chart this thread to show the complete and utter decline from entertainment to den worthy.

[Paelos]

I should chart this thread to show the complete and utter decline from entertainment to den worthy.

Done.

[Mrbloodworth]

hahahahahahaha


Slap your children.

[UnSub]

... it will give them something to work out through abusing strangers on Xbox Live?

[Morat20]

... it will give them something to work out through abusing strangers on Xbox Live?

They're practicing for when there are girls present. Girls love guys being racist.

[Bzalthek]

I have no idea what I was watching, but there was some experiment where they got a special ops guy out target practicing.  He did a dry run and then he did a run with 3 guys on a couch at the top of the hill mocking him via x-box live interactions to his headset.  He actually shot better (by imagining, I suppose, them on the targets.)

Not like anything scientific, but amusing.  When the host asked if he wanted to meet the guys, they started panicking (No no no! He's got a GUN!)

[Mrbloodworth]

... it will give them something to work out through abusing strangers on Xbox Live?

George Carlin -Child Worship

[Morat20]

I have no idea what I was watching, but there was some experiment where they got a special ops guy out target practicing.  He did a dry run and then he did a run with 3 guys on a couch at the top of the hill mocking him via x-box live interactions to his headset.  He actually shot better (by imagining, I suppose, them on the targets.)

Not like anything scientific, but amusing.  When the host asked if he wanted to meet the guys, they started panicking (No no no! He's got a GUN!)

I find I'm more prone to team-killing whenever there's a moron on chat. Of course, I'm also prone to team killing whenever there's a moron whacking me because I got "his" gun. Run faster, asshole, if you want the sniper rifle.

[tgr]

... it will give them something to work out through abusing strangers on Xbox Live?

George Carlin -Child Worship

I love George Carlin. We lost out when he died.

[WindupAtheist]

I give you a forum full of dipshits getting banned, and you pack of elderly goats turn it into a "kids these days" rant thread and ruin it. I hate you guys.

[Bzalthek]

Learn to show respect to your seniors, punk!

[NiX]

I have no idea what I was watching, but there was some experiment where they got a special ops guy out target practicing.  He did a dry run and then he did a run with 3 guys on a couch at the top of the hill mocking him via x-box live interactions to his headset.  He actually shot better (by imagining, I suppose, them on the targets.)

Not like anything scientific, but amusing.  When the host asked if he wanted to meet the guys, they started panicking (No no no! He's got a GUN!)

Rooster Teeth's Immersion series.

[tgr]

I give you a forum full of dipshits getting banned, and you pack of elderly goats turn it into a "kids these days" rant thread and ruin it. I hate you guys.

Don't make me squeak my elderly joints over there in and whap you with my walking stick!

[Bzalthek]

I give you a forum full of dipshits getting banned, and you pack of elderly goats turn it into a "kids these days" rant thread and ruin it. I hate you guys.

Don't make me squeak my elderly joints over there in and whap you with my walking stick!

There will be wailing and a gnash of teeth! (And if you haven't got teeth then teeth will be provided, oh yes indeed!)