Is it passive aggressive to ignore a roomate you don't like?

[Sky]

Ah, it's both your roommate and me. Yep. 

[Amarr HM]

Sounds like you've chosen not to have anything in common with them that's passive agressive in itself. Oh and if you are only gonna be living with them for a few months why you so worked up about it? On second thoughts I'll probably be sorry I asked that.

so you're suggesting that if i don't spend a lot of energy "working things out" it's my fault?

making a post is being worked up?

its just about sorting the data and getting other view points.  nothing more.

Yeh you hit the nail on the head there

[NowhereMan]

Well this all went well, F13 relationship counselling anyone? we can get even more and

[Signe]

FUCKING HELL!!!

[sigil]

We could do this, I've got a situation that's half  half with a smidge of

[Cheddar]

I am so confused.

[Dtrain]

The silent treatment is a bitch move.

Basically, passive aggressive. Somehow you don't have the social tools or the inclination to deal with this in a direct and effective manner.

I could understand this for a few days or even a week or so - if you're so angry or disgusted with the situation that you can't think of a constructive way to deal with it. Anything more than that though, and you've chosen not to adapt to the situation.

So either serve out the rest of your time in silence (which you will probably say you are happy to do anyways, but then why are we talking about it here,) or think about it and come up with a better plan.

[WindupAtheist]

Isn't this the same newb who was all like "Know what MMO gaming needs? Some (buzzword), (buzzword), and (buzzword) just like Final Fantasy!" in one of the 385939489834 OMGWARSUX threads? How the hell did he not get culled?

[Ralence]

  The simple answer is to just become a workaholic like me.  I think the last time I actually was in the same room as my roommate was like 2004.  I intentionally picked him because he works the complete opposite shift as me, and 99.94% of our communication happens on a whiteboard calendar.

  God Bless the anti-social!

  And as far as having one, I work 70-80 hours a week, and spend most of my free time at my GF's, with my past experience, I'm better off living with someone I can't stand than moving in with a GF that I'll eventually not be able to stand.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something like that.  Also she can't complain about my porn or video game playing!

  I say find somewhere else to be when you know he's around, and be home when he's not, you'll be amazed at how similar it is to living alone without all the rent!

[Trippy]

  The simple answer is to just become a workaholic like me.  I think the last time I actually was in the same room as my roommate was like 2004.  I intentionally picked him because he works the complete opposite shift as me, and 99.94% of our communication happens on a whiteboard calendar.

  God Bless the anti-social!

  And as far as having one, I work 70-80 hours a week, and spend most of my free time at my GF's, with my past experience, I'm better off living with someone I can't stand than moving in with a GF that I'll eventually not be able to stand.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something like that.  Also she can't complain about my porn or video game playing!

  I say find somewhere else to be when you know he's around, and be home when he's not, you'll be amazed at how similar it is to living alone without all the rent!

Read rule #6 and don't do it again (yes I know it's in the WAR forum and you joined years again, I don't care):

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=15026.0

[Signe]

This thread isn't even slightly amusing or interesting.  Someone derail it, please!

[apocrypha]

This thread isn't even slightly amusing or interesting.  Someone derail it, please!

OK, can someone clearly and simply explain to me exactly what passive aggressive means? Is it like... being shitty to someone whilst pretending that you're not?

[ashrik]

Not getting along with someone you have to live with is just plain stupid.

In choosing to ignore him in nearly every manner, you're creating an enemy in your own home.

Continue with that and the best case scenario (short of him moving out) is to end the year without getting your shit messed with.

I bet he's on a separate message board at this very moment, making a thread about his dick roommate and how much he scrubs the toilet with the guys toothbrush.

[Trippy]

OK, can someone clearly and simply explain to me exactly what passive aggressive means? Is it like... being shitty to someone whilst pretending that you're not?

[apocrypha]

OK, can someone clearly and simply explain to me exactly what passive aggressive means? Is it like... being shitty to someone whilst pretending that you're not?

Bah! I prefer this one anyway:

[schild]

That's a little big for an emote.

[apocrypha]

Consider it a passive aggressive response to having to use google 

[Signe]

From across the room, Trippy's smiliey looks like some really cute glowing man-panties.  I was disappointed when I got close!

True story.

[NowhereMan]

You browse F13 from across the room?

[rk47]

I think i'm in similar situation too. I don't really *know* who my roommates are. I think I introduced myself to them a few months back, but I can hardly remember their names. Yes I see them from time to time, on the living room, on the way to the fridge etc, but I can't recall their names and there seem to be a mental block on their faces as well. It's like I intentionally blanked it out cause it doesn't feel important. My previous roommates of 4 only talked to me when they wanted to move out. And the landlord asked how were they behaving, I couldn't really tell. Except I noticed there were more than 4 of them in the house at times,hence they got kicked out for inviting outsiders to stay overnight 

[Righ]

Just stab him in the head and tell him you're not turning the fucking volume down while playing WoW.

[Signe]

You browse F13 from across the room?

I do! 

[Riggswolfe]

Yes, it is passive aggressive. Though you say they're calling you mean and use "them" to describe the room mate. Is it a woman? If so, be prepared to be out passive aggressived since women have that shit down to an art. (And yes, I know that passive aggressive is not a verb.)

Let's use Wikipedia here, I know it's frowned on but for this it suffices.

Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious. For example, suppose someone does not wish to attend a party. A passive-aggressive response in that situation might involve taking so long to get ready that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.

Your behavior is the very definition of passive aggressive. Don't worry, we've all done it at various times. It does grate though if done long term and will probably make things bad with your room mate. If you keep it up don't be surprised if he or she just suddenly moves out one day with little to no warning.

[stray]

Don't worry, we've all done it at various times.

Speak for yourself buddy! I'm direct about my anger... Unless I'm trying to get in someone's pants... Then I'm direct about that.


Also, anteater's roomate is sounding more and more like this guy.. Kinda feeling sorry for him.



Floyd just needs a friend, k?

[NowhereMan]

You browse F13 from across the room?

I do! 

Are you like scared some particularly horrifying jpeg is going to jump out and grab you? Or is your eyesight just that good(/arms that long).

[Amarr HM]

Floyd rules