It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife... in your ass.

[WindupAtheist]

DJ Ironik indeed.

You see, the fellow is an "anti-knife campaigner" and he was stabbed! This is ironic in itself, and even more ironic because his name is Ironik! For additional comedy points, he was stabbed in the ass!

Incidentally, in a world where anti-knife campaigners have triumphed, how does anyone slice their vegtables? And how long will it be before they become anti-brick crusaders after muggers start hitting people with bricks? Hoho, value added!

[Rasix]

Thin. Ice.

edit (for clarity): You do have a minor point, but you're still a dick.

[Lakov_Sanite]

I don't know, I certainly got the lulz from it.

[Paelos]

This is one of the few arenas where England just makes me chuckle. Oh you wacky Brits.

[climbjtree]

Where's the thin ice part come from? Correct me if I'm wrong, but an ass stabbing isn't that serious.

Though I guess it depends on the stabber. Zing!

[MahrinSkel]

Where's the thin ice part come from? Correct me if I'm wrong, but an ass stabbing isn't that serious.

Though I guess it depends on the stabber. Zing!

--Dave

[ezrast]

Where's the thin ice part come from? Correct me if I'm wrong, but an ass stabbing isn't that serious.

Though I guess it depends on the stabber. Zing!

[Nerf]

Wouldn't you expect an anti-knife campaigner to be stabbed?  If anything it adds more strength to his cause, I'm just not seeing the irony.

Now, had he stabbed someone in the ass...theres a story.

btw, don't google image search stabbed in ass

[DraconianOne]

This is one of the few arenas where England just makes me chuckle. Oh you wacky Brits.

We like to chuckle at England too. Does that still make me a wacky Brit?

On semi-related news, every now and then the police have a high profile knife amnesty featured in the news. Last time I noticed this, they did the usual "camera panning over the assorted collection of blades" shot, there, amongst all the hunting knives, machetes and katanas was a klingon bat'leth.

Amused me at the time.

EDIT: http://boingboing.net/2008/08/24/klingon-knife-scares.html

[Arthur_Parker]

EDIT: http://boingboing.net/2008/08/24/klingon-knife-scares.html

That's awesome.

I liked this, BBC In pictures: Knife amnesty, click next, various police forces trying to outdo each other for scary badge, Devon and Cornwall police didn't read the rules.

A collection of 500 ornamental letter openers were handed to Lothian and Borders police.
...
Gloucestershire police described this knife as "terrifying".
...
Devon and Cornwall police were surprised to receive this rocket launcher which can fire 350 metres.
...

[Lantyssa]

OMG, did you see the size of that kitchen cutlery?  I take it these police have never looked through a fantasy knife catalog.  They might look wicked, but most of them are less useful than a steak knife.

We like to chuckle at England too. Does that still make me a wacky Brit?

You're all wacky.  Some Brits moreso than others.

[ghost]

He received a knife wound to the buttock during the attack and was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment.

[WindupAtheist]

I could take off my sock, fill it with pennies from my spare change jar, and have a weapon more dangerous than most of those bullshit fantasy knives with three blades and shit. I look forward to the UK having anti-sock advocates.

[Paelos]

I can also swing a mean sack of doorknobs.

[Arthur_Parker]

I could take off my sock, fill it with pennies from my spare change jar, and have a weapon more dangerous than most of those bullshit fantasy knives with three blades and shit. I look forward to the UK having anti-sock advocates.

Court told pub goer's socks 'were an offensive weapon' filled with weights

A DRINKER used his socks as offensive weapons after filling them with fishing weights, a court has been told.

A doorman outside the Jolly Farmer in Newton Abbot allegedly saw Adrian Hawkes 'pushing and shoving' a man wearing a sombrero and dressed as a Mexican.

Once outside Hawkes, it was claimed, produced two socks from his pockets and told the doormen he wanted to go back in and "settle this with the Mexican".

He was arrested after lingering at the scene with the socks in his hands, Exeter Crown Court was told.

Hawkes denies possessing an offensive weapon. A jury was yesterday sent out to consider a verdict in the case.
...
The jury were then handed the bagged-up socks to inspect as exhibits.

One of them had metal spikes protruding through the fabric and was held in a plastic tube for safety

Who's laughing now?  Devon again, obviously.

[Teleku]

A doorman outside the Jolly Farmer in Newton Abbot allegedly saw Adrian Hawkes 'pushing and shoving' a man wearing a sombrero and dressed as a Mexican.

Once outside Hawkes, it was claimed, produced two socks from his pockets and told the doormen he wanted to go back in and "settle this with the Mexican".

This is pretty

[Hutch]

I could take off my sock, fill it with pennies from my spare change jar, and have a weapon more dangerous than most of those bullshit fantasy knives with three blades and shit. I look forward to the UK having anti-sock advocates.

More likely, they'll just outlaw pennies.

[Arthur_Parker]

A doorman outside the Jolly Farmer in Newton Abbot allegedly saw Adrian Hawkes 'pushing and shoving' a man wearing a sombrero and dressed as a Mexican.

Once outside Hawkes, it was claimed, produced two socks from his pockets and told the doormen he wanted to go back in and "settle this with the Mexican".

This pretty

He was found guilty three days ago, I'm expecting a daily mail anti-sock campaign.

Socks were offensive weapons, full of fishing weights

He admitted wrapping his hands around the socks out of habit.

[Teleku]

While yes, the sock thing is funny, I was more laughing at the mental image of a "Mexican" wearing a "sombrero" getting into a bar fight in England.

[NiX]

While yes, the sock thing is funny, I was more laughing at the mental image of a "Mexican" wearing a "sombrero" getting into a bar fight in England.

This has to be a joke that falls under "British Humor", cause it's far too messed up to be real.

[Muffled]

It specifically said that he was wearing a sombrero and 'dressed as a Mexican'.  Whatever the hell that means.  Sounds like someone was having fun playing dress up, not like there was an actual Mexican there.

If he had been Mexican I'm willing to bet there would have been a fight way before sock-man ended up outside.  The ones I've known haven't taken shit off anyone.

In unrelated news, how serious is this anti-knife thing in GB?  Do people use it as a campaign platform?  Are there real organizations that promote it that you could join without needing a tin foil hat?

[NowhereMan]

It's not really a political thing (beyond local politicians perhaps and the media going into a frenzy about yoofs with knives any time there's a stabbing that catches headlines). It's much more a police initiative to get knives off the streets, there are campaigns about it but afaik they're aimed much more at convincing young people to hand in knives or not carry them when they're out than "Think of teh children!" style campaigning. You do need to be 18 to buy knives in shops though now, which just seems weird considering these are the sorts of knives everyone has at home anyway.

[IainC]

It specifically said that he was wearing a sombrero and 'dressed as a Mexican'.  Whatever the hell that means.  Sounds like someone was having fun playing dress up, not like there was an actual Mexican there.

If he had been Mexican I'm willing to bet there would have been a fight way before sock-man ended up outside.  The ones I've known haven't taken shit off anyone.

In unrelated news, how serious is this anti-knife thing in GB?  Do people use it as a campaign platform?  Are there real organizations that promote it that you could join without needing a tin foil hat?

There were a few high-profile stabbings of children (by other children). If the newspapers are to be believed there is a knife-culture in many inner-city schools and neighbourhoods.

[Sheepherder]

If the newspapers are to be believed there is a knife-culture in many inner-city schools and neighbourhoods.

Yes, they call them Sikhs.

[UnSub]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but an ass stabbing isn't that serious.

A knife to the buttock probably isn't going to kill someone, but it is painful and takes a long time to heal. Plus all those things you do with your ass? You have to do them very carefully while it heals. Worse case is nerve damage to your leg so that you can't walk.

Unsurprisingly, the Italians are into this kind of thing.

EDIT: Closing tags is hard.

[Paelos]

Plus taking a dump is probably a total chore.

[Lantyssa]

Considering how badly I was out of it with an abscess in the stomach, I wouldn't think a deep wound in the ass would be much better.

[dusematic]

I could take off my sock, fill it with pennies from my spare change jar, and have a weapon more dangerous than most of those bullshit fantasy knives with three blades and shit. I look forward to the UK having anti-sock advocates.

lol