f13.net

From AICN

http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/display.cgi?id=23578

Towards the end of the filming of Postal, the five most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10-bout match. There will be five matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All five fights will be televised on the Internet and will be covered by international press.

To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the Internet or have written in magazines/newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered.

Folks between 140 and 190 pounds, send an email to info@boll.kg.de and help Uwe prove that he isn't a bad filmmaker through physical violence.

I will personally chip in to see that at least one of the people who gets accepted recieves top notch ninja training so that he can administer an immediately fatal blow to Boll (preferably something that causes him to erupt into gooey gibbets of meat) during the first round of his match.

Yea, we frontpaged this. Keke.

Damn those requirements.  Whomever wins better put lead shot in their glove.

I could never hurt Uwe Boll. I love the man.

 Once I read a quote from him: he was so happy that BloodRayne took place in "the 1700's" because it meant that the sequels could involve Nazis.

You cannot fake that. He is genuine. And adorable. He's a German Ed Wood with questionable use of grammar and CAPITALIZATION for EMPHASIS and none of the crossdressing.

where's Haemish?  or that other Scot?  yea Ironwood.  Pass the collection plate, let's get them moving.

Ironwood - the "other" Scot. 

Sigh.

Hey, it could be worse.  He could have called you an Englishman.  Or Irish.

I meant it nicely.  Diaspora and all.    :-D

My Challenge Hath Been Issued (http://www.gameangst.com/Movies/p2_articleid/49).

Seriously, I'm so in on this. If that pasty-faced Bastard of Bad Cinema wants to fight me, who am I to argue?

Someone needs to write an utterly devastating review and sign it as Bernard Hopkins.

(http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1570000/images/_1571234_hop_trin300.jpg)

I think that's why they stipulated that it needed to be written in 2005, and that the challenger has to weigh under 190 pounds.

Hopkins is well within that weight range.  And come on, let's fake up some film critiques for him.  :-D

Or not.  Watching Boll beat up Haemish could be fun too.  :wink:

Well, I emailed Mr Boll and sent him Haemish's challenge.

We should really try and make this happen.  I bet Haemish could make Uwe Boll cry big fat girlie tears without ever once resorting to violence.

Tell me what I need to do to make this dream a reality.

As I posted over on Game Angst, Dr. Boll has emailed me back requesting a JPG. I assume the JPG is of myself, though the temptation to send him some really vile shit is a great one.

But even more overlooked is the knowledge that I NOW HAVE HIS EMAIL ADDRESS.

Also overlooked the fact that those articles weren't posted on GA in 2005. But hey, I'm not gonna argue if you're actually going to fight the guy. Though I suspect at this point that he's trained in something terrible like shootfighting.

We should build a trebuchet and buy some cows!

I hope to God that whoever wins goes Tong-Po on his ass.

I'm talking a glass-glued-to-hands, muy thai, monkey kung-fu ass kicking.  He deservers no less.

Of course, you don't want to actually have someone who looks like he can fight win the contest.  You want to pick through to find the weakest, dweebiest 180lb. 'contestent' (who's also photogenic, because we can't use ugly people, this is going to be in a MOVIE!1!.)  It would look bad if Uwe were to actually get his ass handed to him.

'round here we use fetuspults, girly!

I'm betting that Uwe doesn't want anyone involved. He released one movie in 2005, Alone in the Dark. Bloodrayne wasn't released until Jan. 2006. Which means he'd have to be damned unlucky to have both reviews posted in 2005 by anyone.

I personally think it's just a smug bit of self-promotion, thinking no one will take him up on it.

pass the hat and hire this gentleman (http://www.icemanmma.com/).  And then wish Uwe goodbye.

(http://www.icemanmma.com/images/stories/thumbs/6.jpg)

That isn't a good pic of Chuck- you can't even see his sweet white trash Mohawk!

I think he's looking for five 140lb girls in latex to beat the shit out of him while he wears a nappy full of poop.

My avatar now reflects my committment to (being knocked out) kicking Uwe Boll's ass.

I did realize people hate Uwe, I did not realize some peoples lives could change over this story. Perhaps Jack Thompson could be convinced to make a ring appearance and we could take care of 2 of humanity's most notorious people associated in the gaming world?

The list is longer than two.  ;)

10) Any EA W2 - resistance is futile, prostitution involves even more sucking
9) Porsche quote boy - he can eat cake with Marie A. off the hood of a 1973 El Camino
8 ) A certain less than smart yet dreckish Derek
7) He Who Shall Not Be Named But Is Furry and Has Made-Up Excel Charts
6) Gordon - hey, actions have consequences.   Best. Common-sense. Quote. Evar. Competence must be punished
5) Raph (sorry guy, but if you'd let someone beat the crap out of you we can put that whole player justice thing behind us)
4) Anyone with a consonant in their name whoever said 'something'-TO-CRUSH
3) Anyone who's ever released an anime MOG - and has no epithantic folds
2) Lum - no other reason than he's sizable, sardonic, and swarthy.  Well no not swarthy but I was on a roll. And it segues well to...
1) Dr. Twister - c'mon folks, the boy is hurting and needs loving of the most dismissive kind

My work here is done.

we need a YTMND with Haemish and Uwe and some Rancid.  Or the like.

(http://www.dunwich.org/tv/prisoner/n6nrmwst.jpg)

Lowtax is on the list. (http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=3883)

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20060621

Betcha Uwe wouldn't issue this little challenge if he weren't confident in his being more proficient with his fists than the average internet pundit.  It's going to be funny when he beats all five asses.

I wouldn't give him that much credit.  He seems like one of those people who thinks they are competent but really aren't.  At anything.

All his films have been profitable, even the shitty ones. So he can certainly afford boxing lessons if he feels threatened.

But really, I weigh a buck 44 on a good day. If he actually feels threatened by me or any other Internet critic, he has less balls than Laura Bush.

If his confidence in his boxing skills are as well-founded as his ability to make good movies, he is in serious trouble.  I can only hope so.

I suppose we'll soon know. Apparently its going down tonight:

http://www.bollboxing.com/

He was supposed to be fighting five challengers, but apparently he already defeated some Spanish webhead called Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello-Castro-Batista-Guevera-Sanchez-Pomposo-Ramires-Gonzales in an embarrasing match for all concerned:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjM2w5FOPQw

I guess Uwe was too strapped for cash to bring a European out to the Canadian gig. So, tonight he's fighting these people in Vancouver:

Richard "Lowtax" Kyanda, 30, 6'1", 155lbs, SA webhead
Jeff Sneider, 22, 5'9", 170lbs, web "journo"
Chris Alexander, 30, 5'1", 180lbs, radio jock
Nelson Chance Minter, 17, 5'7", 155lbs, some forum troll

In some countries, like Canada perhaps, where the fight is, I'm pretty sure that 17 is a minor. Boll is claiming that these folks are as good as he could manage:


However:

I hope he knocks Lowtax out to be honest. Because it would be funny.

Wow, neither of those sissies could fight...but it was still damn funny, especially when the Spanish guy started to turn his back and turtle. He hardly even got hit.

I just watched Alone in the Dark for the first time tonight... well, nearly half of it.  It was so awful it made me cry.   :cry:  I really wanted to watch it, too.  It has Christian Slater in it.. who I sort of like... and some other bloke who's name I forget but I like him, too.  Why was it so bad?  Why?   :|

Geez. Couldn't they find some skinnier toothpicks to throw in there?

It could be his downfall. Perhaps we can get Scott Harrison (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/boxing/2867547.stm) to fight him as a ringer.

This is the only tally I have so far since the video itself is getting goonrushed.

1. Lowtax got his ass kicked I guess. Fucking A, hilarious.
2. The kid got his ass kicked also.

Oh man, that Spanish guy was the biggest pussy I've ever seen.

Anyone have a link to a video?

Having seen that first video and how Uwe fights I am more than confident I could have made it so he couldn't pronounce his first name any longer.

They need someone angry to fight Boll.  Ignore the pain (were they even hitting hard enough to feel any?) long enough to trounce his ass.  Cripes, I could do better.

I hope y'all appreciate this, I had to go into the SA forums for it:

Video of the Lowtax fight, shitty audio and angle (http://v.somethingawful.com/misc/round1.wmv)
Post-fight interview with Lowtax (http://v.somethingawful.com/misc/lowtaxlive.asf)
Youtube link of a Lowtax fight clip so you can hear the booing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihx8f8sKVh0)

Lowtax fights like... well, a comedian who's never lifted a finger before.

Uwe fights like a bad boxer; his guard is down a lot and many of his punches come in really wide.

I'd rather see them fight in the Octagon, none of this pussy headgear-and-big-soft-gloves crap. Uwe's footwork sucks, he'd get his ass beat by anyone who's sparred for a few years.

Edit: More!

"3rd Fight" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyT8_W8LLpE)
"4th Fight" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dIhWBCLDxs)

Absolutly pitiful. Have none of these guys ever even Watched a boxing match? They could have beat Boll by simply stepping inside of his swings, or even just jabbing him in the face whenever he'd send his hands 3ft out beside his body.

Random observations:

*  In Boll we have a guy who looks to be solidly in the heavyweight category, fighting a cruiserweight, a light-heavyweight, and a pair of middleweights, all of whom are actually five to ten pounds below the maximum limits for those weight classes.  Skill and experience aside, there's a REASON real boxing has those weight divisions.

*  It's very easy to stand outside the ring and say "I could kick that guy's ass!" or "All they had to do was step inside his punches!"  I suspect it all seems very different when there's actually a guy trying to punch your brains out.  So while I'm happy to denigrate that first pussy who basically cowered in the ring, I won't go too hard on the guys who tried to fight but were simply outmatched.

*  That being said, I found the post-fight bitching from Lowtax to be in relatively poor taste.  You were challenged to a boxing match.  It behooves you to assume your opponent is going to try to hurt you, and to procure your own training.  I won't say "I could kick Boll's ass!"  But I will say that if I were scheduled to travel to Canada to fight him, or anyone, I would find a gym and practice first, so as to avoid utterly embarassing myself.

There must be some 10 year old girls that want to fight Uwe Boll.

I liked the post-match interview with Lowtax. He was funny and a good performer in person, which is a rare combination with being a writer, particularly a website writer. The host liked him and he was a good interview subject on live TV, which (I work in TV, so I know) is hard to do. Well done Lowtax.

You've missed the point. It was fucking ridiculous that Boll challenged anyone to a boxing match. Turning up and actually having Boll throw serious punches (while you do not) is all part of ridiculing how seriously he takes his crappy self.

Remember that this was also ostensibly a PR stunt, not a 'real match'. A real boxing association probably wouldn't even allow this sort of thing given the weight and training disparities. If you watch the Lowtax fight, you'll see that he's trying to 'box' using an exaggerated Sullivan bare-knuckle style - obviously for comedic effect. He's definitely not taking it seriously until Boll gives him a few good ones to the head.

It is beyond insane that this actually took place. Regardless of who can beat up who his movies still suck ass.

Too bad nobody just kicked him in the balls and left.

Uwe would have looked a lot dumber if Lowtax had just tucked his chin down, clamped his gloves to the sides of his head, and ran around in circles for a few minutes until the clock ran out.  I mean it's not like there are professional boxing judges scoring this exhibition crap.  If you finish on your feet, it's basically a draw.

Also, this "exhibition turned out to be a real fight" crap is as old as the hills.  Falling for it just means you're a dumbass.  If you're going to do anything similar enough to "boxing" that they have a doctor present, then learn enough boxing to be able to at least run away effectively.  Just in case.  Anything else means you're an idiot.

And yeah, I think Margalis has the best idea.  Someone should have just kicked him square in the nuts.  You're in a boxing ring, it's not assault, it's just a foul.  You don't get arrested, you just get disqualified from a fight that doesn't actually count toward anything anyway.

Well those fights are boring.

On saturday I saw a boxing match where one of the contestants got his lower jaw broken in round five, he went through all 12 rounds and even managed to win.

That's sportmansship.

I'm in WUA's corner on this one (boxing pun ftw!).  Maybe it is easier for someone like me, who has zero emotional investment one way or another on the subject of Uwe Boll, to see it a bit more objectively.  In other words, Boll looks like a pretty solid guy who has more than just a small inkling of what he is doing in the ring.   Those two things alone probably give him the upper hand against the likes of your average internet journalist...no offense intended.   I mean, it was all fun and games thinking that someone might shove his nose into his brain, but did you really imagine he would issue such a challenge, not to mention being able to hand-pick his opponents, without being supremely confident of victory?

And don't even start with the "getting inside of his wild swings" and "using the jab" or whatever.   That Lowtax guy was too afraid to even throw punches.  I hardly think Boll even needed to worry about his own form, and it wasn't even that terrible anyway.

Also, stepping into the ring with a guy who (I assume) pays your expenses to travel to Canada, and plans to fight 4 or 5 different guys the same night...and you aren't even going to prepare yourself?  Not real bright.  I guess it is possible to imagine that some of these guys fully intended to get their asses kicked and thought that it would prove some kind of point, but I don't tend to buy that.  It might turn INTO that once fight-night draws nearer, but I'll wager most of them actually believed for a moment they could kick Uwe's ass when accepting the challenge.

Yep.  Really, any punches thrown at Uwe should have all been below the belt.  I really fail to see the downside of throwing "illegal" punches.

Also, it could have stopped him from breeding.  Then we all win.

Shit, he never responded to me after I sent him my picture. Too frightened to fight a 35-year old, 145 lbs. webmonkey, I suppose. Or maybe my picture just frightened him too much, or he was too attracted to my manly wrath that he couldn't punch me for wanting to make sweet Boll love to me.

I think the eye lasers scared him.

sounds like someone got the crap beat out of him according to Lowtax, Kotaku (http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/clips/clips-uwe-boll-pushing-lowtaxs-face-in-202896.php)

and David Cross was there.  Tres cool.

In his '92 fight against Joe Hipp, Tommy Morrison (aka the guy who played Tommy Gunn in Rocky V) suffered a cut, a broken jaw, and two broken hands.  He went on to KO Hipp in the 9th round.  Of course Hipp wasn't a particularly good fighter, and having to resort to such heroic efforts to defeat him was more an indictment of Morrison's abilities than anything else, but there you go.

/random

Boll is a world class dick but Lowtax comes off as a whiny cunt.

YEAH I SAID ID BOX THIS GUY AND THEN HE SAID HE WASNT GOING TO REALLY BOX ME AND I GOT IN THE RING AND HE FUCKING HIT ME JESUS I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THAT

Pfft. You got fucking punked by Uwe Boll Lowtax, just enjoy the extra traffic.

 :heart:

EDIT

I've been a boxing fan for a long time.  I've watched a million live matches on HBO and ESPN and so forth.  I've watched old footage of Joe Louis and Rocky Marciano and the like.  I know how to size up a fighter.  Boll fights above the level of the average Toughman Contest slob, but below the level of a dedicated amateur boxer.  Which, really, is just about what I would have expected.

So please, no more internet tough-guy talk.  Schild, you're a big enough dude.  But unless you box, or learned to box in preparation, Boll would probably whip your ass.

I should write reviews more often. Who knew opportunities like this would be possible?

Tough guy talk: Southpaw. 6'4", fluctuating between 190 and 200. Fists of love. Special moves: Gangly Hook and Colostomy Shot (go go Marciano).

I said one thing. But more than that, there's an amount of rage that these people didn't hit before they fight. you could see it in them, they were scared. Uwe was scared. No one has a record. No one knew what to expect. You have to go in with a hatred spawned from a thousand suns. It's a boxing ring. You go in NOT TO FIGHT FAIR. You go straight for the kill. Kick him in the shin. Punch him in the throat. Do it for the good of man, not because the guy makes good movies. Some people don't deserve to breed.

That's what you have to go in with. Those people - no killer instinct. Anyway, yea.

Kick him in the shin? :D

Might as well bite his ear then.

Nope. Don't want the UWEBOLLS.

Might as well bring a taser and see how he reacts to 50,000 volts if you want to play that way. I mean, that would be amusing.

I shocked myself with a taser once. Uwe Boll's threshold of pain doesn't have shit on me!

But of course, it could just mean that I'm actually more stupid than him as well.  :?

Being scared shitless is indeed a sure path to defeat, but "hatred spawned from a thousand suns" is hardly a substitute for training.  A pissed-off boxer usually just gets his ass kicked all the harder by a calm one.

Not to sound corny or "tough", but learning not to stress out was the biggest and hardest lesson I learned about fighting. The only times I ever got my ass kicked was because of timidity. Anger or ferocity are a crutch easily used against those who don't want to fight you in the first place, but when fighting someone who really isn't afraid of you, you need a clear head. You need to picture the fight as almost a casual ordeal in your mind.

Boxing lessons wouldn't hurt either. Getting hit in the face with boxing gloves hurts damn near as much if not more than getting hit with a bare fist, and the gloves allow the other person to punch you in a face a LOT without fucking their hands up. Boxing is an endurance sport as far as I'm concerned. There's a reason you see all those doughy catchers in the fights leading up to the big ticket bouts just falling all over eachother after a few rounds; boxing is some tough shit.

Also, knowing how to hit someone right on the button is always good to know. Uwe Boll may have mushed some faces in but if he was a better boxer the fights would've been over in a fraction of the short time they took. It takes very very little force to knock someone completely, utterly out cold if you do it just right. So little force it's almost fucking scary, because it's basically knocking your brain into the inside of your skull.

Was I that unfair?

I meant Get So Angry You Don't Fight Fair. When you only get one chance to fix something in the world, you don't play by the rules.

Basically, the only reason none of those "critics" won, is because they don't care enough about movies. Having Lowtax as one of the contenders was missing the fucking point.

The point was to get people talking about Uwe Boll. He really doesn't give a shit what the Internet people say about him, but he does love the attention. I mean, let's face it, Alone in the Dark? Fucking Dungeon Siege? As movies? Who gives a fuck about that except geeks. And if geeks like me rent his movies or pay money to go see them, he wins, no matter how much nerd fury we unleash on the world about how genuinely shitty his movies are.

He makes money on the movies, and if we geeks didn't get so righteously indignant about the assraping he gives our beloved cinema, he likely would never get work again.

He's a fun verbal punching bag and I hope he KEEPS making shitty shit shitastic movies so I can keep writing about how shit shit shitty they are. There are few things so genuinely entertaining as watching the absolute trainwreck shittiness that his movies bring. It's like the anti-gourmand.

If you just want to kick him in the nuts and laugh at his writhing pain-wracked body as you're disqualified from a match you don't care about, then I guess being SUPAR PISSED OFF ABOUT MOVIES is enough.  If you intend for the fight to come to any other conclusion, then you need to either learn to box or accept that you're going to get your ass kicked by someone who has learned to box.

If we're going to come to some conclusion as to the merits of Boll's boxing prowess, he'd have to entertain a real fight against somebody in his weight class as well, as you mentioned about fourteen hundred posts previously. Since that was never the intention, I think that nut kicking, tasers and arm-flapping are viable subjects for this circular discussion. And 'disqualified'? What the fuck? The ref was a Boll employee too, lest you be under some illusion that this was a real boxing match and not an opportunity to Boll to hurt a few idiots who signed legal waivers.

Yes, its funny that the withered geeks were conned into thinking that Boll was going to ham it up, and that they wouldn't get hit hard. The guy is a shithead, and they called him one on the web - they should have expected him to behave like one. However, the flip side of that is that with Boll clearly picking people he could beat to a pulp without any effort, its sad that none of them were as much of a shithead as he was, and none chose to do something unexpected and actually hurt the bastard. So its not unreasonable for a few people here to fantasize about it, much like you're doing about the boxing merits of the debacle.

Not really.  We would need to see an evenly-matched fight to come to any detailed conclusions, but watching him pound that stubborn but overmatched cruiserweight in the fight immediately following the Lowtax debacle was enough for me to determine that he fights below the level of a shitty professional or good amateur, but above the level of a novice.


Who cares?  There's still a referee, and he'll still end the fight if you start kicking Uwe in the nuts.


My decision regarding the merits of the debacle is that a competent boxer could beat up Uwe Boll, but that really hating House of the Dead doesn't make up for not being a competent boxer.

I'm with Uwe Boll on this one.  Is it lame he challenged his movie critics to a fight?  Yes.  But no more lame than the "hatred of a thousand suns" some people seem to have for a dude who just makes bad movies.  Christ almighty.  The fact that this instantly condensed into a "I COULD HAVE TOTALLY KCIKED HIS ASS" hubub is funny to me, since that's exactly what the other tools who got demolished were thinking to themselves.  It's personally been a dream of mine to kick half your asses, so bravo Uwe, bravo.  You have succeeded where I have failed.

Hmm..

Did I miss something? Seems like you're taking this thread (and site) a bit personally. What happened?

Someone should totally have set Uwe up with a ringer.  If you're ForumTroll69 and Uwe Boll wants to fight you, well, does he know what you look like?  If you send your buddy the welterweight Golden Gloves champ to fight under your name, will Boll really know the difference before he's on the canvas bleeding?

These fucking "critics" all marched out there like lambs to the slaughter, with nary a low blow or dirty trick between the five of them.  Idiots.

Duse might be right but, to be perfectly honest, I could have TOTALLY kicked his ass.

Really.  (http://www.terranuts.com/forums/images/smilies/Kick.gif)

Um.. you had to send a photo of yourself in along with your app, if I recall correctly. It's somewhere up at the top of the thread. This would be why Haem's avatar is of himself posing.

So?  Send in a picture of your boxer friend and say it's you.  Make sure he's a welterweight or something, not a big dude, and have him wuss it up in a baggy shirt with a picture of Spock on it.  Maybe have a really tall guy standing nearby to make him look smaller.

EDIT

Lowtax has a whiny article up on SA about how he was beaten up by a professional boxer.  So I hit up boxrec thinking maybe Uwe had a couple pro fights in his younger days.  There's no record of anyone with the last name Boll having been a professional boxer ever.  Hell, I can't even find evidence of him ever having competed in any actual sanctioned amateur bouts.  As far as I can tell, he's just one of those guys who goes to the gym and spars as a hobby.

Still, I don't know of any source as exhaustive as boxrec which follows the amateur ranks, so it's possible he's done some sanctioned amateur fighting and I just haven't found records of it yet.

*Clears Throat*


Who Cares ?

I do.  I'm Uwe's biggest fan.  I've never seen any of his movies (which can only help, from what I hear) but I enjoy his attempts to beat up the intarweb for making fun of him.   :-D

I get the impression that if he saw any muscle whatsoever, he'd turn down the application.  He clearly wasn't looking for good fights.

What gets me is that he promised training to those selected, but then never provided it.  That's no big deal if it's a PR Stunt, but then he goes on saying that these were about serious fights from the very beginning.  Okay, if they were serious fights then why did you choose people clearly no match for you and not provide the promised training?

Didn't he fly them over to wherever he was? I was under the impression that you have to provide ID and shit in order to get on a plane these days? Maybe some ID to go with the waiver?

It's not like Uwe is checking ID at the airport.  At worst, just fly yourself out.  The waiver is a bit trickier though... hmm...

Dude, it's not complicated.  He just wanted to kick a bunch of shit talking pussies into the ground.  I mean Jesus, he said what he had to in order to get them in the ring and to legally kick their asses without being held liable.  He also got some free pub.  Ingenious.

It's not a whiny article. (http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=4120)  He basically made fun of himself, said it was a really stupid thing to do and didn't try to hide the fact that he got his ass kicked.

So he's a sneaky, underhanded douche who has an alpha male complex and resolves disagreements by TYPING IN CAPS and beating shit up.  And we should applaud this?

If anything, I dislike him even more now.

Yes it is.  Characterizing pudgy forty-year old amateur Uwe Boll as a "professional boxer" is a blatant misrepresentation, especially given the disparity in ability between a dabbler like Uwe and even a lousy pro.  Any shitty unranked professional would dispatch Lowtax in about ten seconds, and Boll in about thirty.

Boxing is a stupid, stupid, stupid sport, in my opinion.  My grandfather was a pro fighter for years.  He was mean, too.  He beat up everything.  My gradmother, his kids (except his "pretty" daughter, the neighbours, strangers in pubs...  His nose was a mess.  I can't even describe what his ears looked like.  He was so mean that they wouldn't let him box anymore.  By that time, he was already crazy.  He smoked something like 6 packs of filterless cigs a day, drank vodka CONSTANTLY and still beat the shit out of anything he could find.  He had some sort of accident later in life that left his back a mess so he could barely walk, he had terrible emphysema and he was punchy almost all the time.  Anything could set him off, a shout, a bell, a baby crying....   He spent his last days sitting in a chair in front of the tv waiting for the next fight to come on... he would start swinging as soon as they rang the bell.  Please don't tell me there's nothing wrong with people who choose to get hit and hit other people in the head for a living.  Well, you can tell me but I won't believe you.   :-)

PS  Uwe Boll might not be a boxer, but he's stupid like one.

Too bad he's dead.  You could sell him to the concerned families of EQ catasses.  Whenever they would level he'd hear "Ding!" and beat the shit out of them.

Are you that insensitive?  I would NEVER sell my dear old grandpa.  Rent... that's another thing all together.

I am tired and bored.

(http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/5240/lowtaxlolyv0.png)

(http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/882/tysonkq7.jpg)

Saved to hard drive... that's awesome.

I fail at colorization. Mike was just too dark a color to make convincingly white with Hue/Saturation in PS, so I just did the best I could.

(http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6540/1159486401136zm5.png)