f13.net

Have you been busy living your life lately? Then you’ve no doubt noticed all the zombies clogging the highways and byways of this nation like buttered yeast rolls in a baby’s heart.

Maybe it was when you were driving to work on the Colonial Parkway and the three cars in front of you were doing 30 m.p.h. When you honk your horn at them they look confused.  I guess, despite the signs posted every 15 feet that passing is illegal, they don't understand that you have no recourse.  Or maybe it’s when you’re walking through the mall and the person in front of you simply stops abruptly, forcing your body into contortions to avoid running into them, and causing a logjam in the busy thoroughfare. Maybe you couldn’t avoid bumping into them and they shot you an annoyed look.

What are these people doing? Don’t they have someplace to be? There is an affliction sweeping this country, an affliction of the mind. People shamble around like mindless wights with empty expressions and even emptier heads. If I get behind one more herd of water-buffalo on the sidewalk I’m going to lose it like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. This isn’t about how important I am and how valuable my time is. Even if I don’t have pressing business, I accomplish tasks with efficiency. I have a plan.

It’s almost as if, as much as I want to be somewhere, there are others who don’t want to be anywhere.


WALK FASTER. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE BLISTERING PACE OF THE SIDEWALK, MOVE ON OVER TO A FUCKING PARK BENCH AND REGROUP. 



DRIVE FASTER. IF YOU’RE DRIVING LESS THAN THE POSTED SPEED LIMIT, THEN YOU SHOULD COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO A NORMAL PERSON’S, AND THEN KILL YOURSELF.

belltower ---> thataway.

Peeve thread perhaps?

No.  It HAS to be it's own thread so someone will have to put it someplace else or den it.  Otherwise the mods would get fat and lazy.

This is serious business if I've ever seen it.

For the record, I agree completely.

I thought this was going to be a thread about this:

(http://files.getdropbox.com/u/40396/zombieT.jpg)

http://www.openfilm.com/flvplayer5.swf?link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.openfilm.com%2Fplayer%2Fvideo%2F%3F%26video_id%3D609%26lang%3Den_us%26sort_id%3D1&color1=0xa2a2a2&color2=0x3e3e3e

What an ugly url.

It's not (just) that these people are lazy, or don't have any where to be. They just do not give a fuck about anyone else, AT ALL. They seem to think that it's just fine and dandy to do whatever they want, as long as no one calls them on it, and everyone else is too much of a fucking pussy to do so.

People who ride up behind me, or beep as soon as the light goes green, cause me to slow down/pause. I've had someone start beeping at me to go just before the light changes, and I've waited the entire cycle.

If you're in that much of a rush, perhaps you should plan your time better. Fuckhead.

Yeah because it's your world and we just live in it right?


STOP YAWNING AND MOVE.


If you not only can't relate to this post, but you also take offense, it's because you're part of the problem.


Edit: Anyone who waits an entire light cycle to "punish" someone for beeping at their slow ass deserves a punch in the dick and a bullet through the cerebral cortex (I doubt anyone would notice).

Yeah, about 15 years ago a friend decided to play the 'wait the asshole through a traffic cycle' game with someone being impatient.  All went well till the red light cycled back.  The guy behind my friend got out, ripped open his car door and punched him right smack in the eye.  10 day long black eye on that one.  Not generally a smart game to play. 

Traffic i have a pretty thick skin i wont get aggravated. Obese fucks at the store on scooters infuriate me to a rare level. In any other circumstances i ninja through the slow fuckers in my way.

I move at high speed myself, but I manage to not worry about others my means of not giving a fuck and simply overtaking when possible. Sure I may get annoyed at the time by fuckwits who won't get the fuck out of my way (on foot, I sometimes overtake them, then slor right the fuck down to a crawl for 5 seconds or so to give them a taste of their own medicine,) but mostly I overtake, then build a bridge and get over it long before I make it to my keyboard. I try to get over it within seconds of overtaking, in fact. Helps me be less of a raging douche.  :oh_i_see:

Anyone who abuse their car-horns to bully/intimidate other people in traffic deserves a punch in the dick and a bullet through the cerebral cortex.

Pretty much if anybody rides my bumper I take my foot off the gas and see how slow I have to go before they decide to pass me. I really hate tailgaters. Ideally I find a semi in the other lane going nice and slow and then just match speed with the semi and watch the guy behind me honking and randomly switching lanes back and forth.

If you need to go well in excess of the speed limit to get where you were going on time you need to plan better.

Hopefully you're not douching it up in the leftmost lane. 

Why can't we just exercise a little common sense? If you are on a highway and the speed limit is 100kph and the person in front of you is going 80, then there is an issue. If they are going 100 and that isn't good enough for you then tough, suck it up.

I'll be the first to admit that I speed on a regular basis but if the people in front of me are going slower than me but are still going the posted speed limit, then I don't have any reason to get all worked up.
I see people all the time that get on my ass when I am going over the posted speed limit by a decent margin already and they look like they are gonna lose it it I don't get out of their way, in that case I may occasionally slow down but usually just get out of their way and don't think to much about it.

That being said, when walking it does infuriate me to no extent when others have no awareness of their surroundings. I mean mistakes happen and then you get the occasional "sorry". this is all good, but when you get the asshole that gets to the top of the escalator and just stands there. They need a good "punch in the dick"

While I am somewhat annoyed by the slow drivers and slow walkers of the world, I do take delight in tormenting the I'M SO IMPORTANT GET OUT OF MY WAY jackasses in expensive cars who zip through lanes cutting people off.  Forming an L-shaped trap with a semi is the best, because you know that asshole is too proud and/or stupid to slow down to get behind the semi and out of the local maximum of the system you've created.  He'll just sit there frothing at the mouth until you decide to let him out.  It makes me feel all warm and tingly, like I'm doing a good deed for the universe.

I'm surprised douche-o-matic is the kind of person who would make this thread.

Leave yourself time to get where you're going and enjoy the ride.

Yes, I'm part of what you consider to be 'the problem'. Suck it. I polish my truck with your tears.

While I understand, you do have to remember he is probably going home to kick his dog or punch his wife. That kind of rage seeks an outlet, and it's usually something that can't fight back.

I am now fantasizing about blowing your brains out at an intersection.

By the way.  Those people usually have expensive cars because they're in a hurry to get things done.  What you call "jackass" behavior, I call the driving force behind the progression of mankind.


It's funny that all the people internet high-fiving each other about how they "taught some guy a lesson" don't realize how utterly impotent and pathetic they sound.

You're on your second post, in this thread alone, that is rich with irony.

lol.  Sure guy. 

I like how you can't even make a harmless rant against slow retards without the pussy patrol coming through.  I bet you faggots used to remind the teacher to hand out homework.

This thread represents all that is good in the internet.

I agree

Ten lane highway, speed limit is 100KMH (62MPH).  Semi in the fourth lane, doing 120KMH.  I am in the fifth lane passing him at 130KMH.  No traffic in lanes 3 or 2.

Piece of shit dark blue American SUV roars up behind me, it must having been going well over 160KMH, and starts riding my bumper.  

I, deciding that I should not be tailgated by a thing that probably has barely functional brakes, do not pass the semi.  I hear a noise behind me, look in my rear view mirror and see that the SUV driver has decided to pass me by going over the rumble strips and in to the shoulder.  He flails his arms and then speeds off.

Two days later, I am watching the news and see that an SUV that looks exactly the same was involved in a fatal road rage accident.  Apparently the SUV driver was tailgating a guy in the passing lane and then the two drivers went in to full road rage mode. They proceeded to aggressively weave in and out of traffic while speeding in excess of 160KMH for over 20KMs on a busy highway.  The SUV driver was killed when he lost control of his piece of shit and slammed in to a concrete barrier.   He was not wearing a seatbelt and was ejected from his SUV.

One down, many to go.

But, but, but it's his right to go that fast! He's IMPORTANT!

Edit: Well, he's not important anymore. :why_so_serious:

TBH, he never advocated going above the speed limit.

That is some grade-A Chicken Soup for the Soul shit right there.

He just said that people acting like assholes while speeding (not just speeding, but speeding like assholes, which is an important distinction) are the driving force behind the progression of mankind.  If that's not an endorsement I don't know what is.

People acting like assholes against people that move at the speed of snail / are in the improper lane for their speed. Clear distinction.

All the rest is flavour. Delicious flavour.

It's not up to you to enforce the rules of the road.  If you're in the 'fast' lane and someone behind you wants to go faster, get the fuck out of that lane.  

Chucklefucks that think they should hold the flow of traffic up because everyone else shouldn't be traveling faster than they do are exactly one half of the problem.  

Do not tailgate, problem solved.

Don't dryhump the fast lane, problem solved.

See you on the news soon.

If I am going even slightly over the speed limit, in the fast lane, and you expect me to move out of the fast lane because you want to go faster, you can suck my hairy left nut. I do not have the energy to waste on you chucklefucks. I will get out of the lane when I goddamn well feel like it. I am already breaking the fucking law, I'm not going to be the one handed a reckless driving ticket because you wanted to go faster. When you have a stroke and die because of all the stress you are placing on yourself in your "quest to progress mankind" by making 1% more money than me, I will gladly seek out your grave so that I can dig you up and anally rape your moldering corpse with a bat engraved with your now depleted bank account number.

Have fun sucking devil cock in hell, slapnuts.

Slower traffic keep right

How fucking hard is that? You don't need to endanger your life by immediately swerving into the right lane like some deranged pigeon confused by a glass window, and nothing excuses the nascar-esque tailgating of douchebags, but seriously - try to have some consideration for other people. If someone (like me, occasionally) does a quick flash of their brights as they come up on you, do the right thing.

If you flash me, that's fine - it's the driving equivalent of a polite request. If you just want to hump my bumper like I'm the chick your douchefrat ass dosed with a roofie, you can fuck right off to an early grave.

Those signs are all over Ohio's expressways.  Most people get it; a lot of people on these boards don't, which I find odd.  

My commute is max 65 and there's cops all over that route, so traffic doesn't go much over 70-75.  So it sucks when someone humps the fast lane doing 60 because it causes traffic congestion issues but not often wrecks.  

Try driving like that in Chicago, like on I-90.  Sure, it's max 65.  Average traffic is flowing at 90+mph and if you're going 90 in the fast lane you're going to cause a fuckall of a wreck because a lot of other traffic travels at 110+.  

Bad call.  I've seen you coming up unless you're going so irrationally fast that you're on my ass near instantaneously (seriously, I check my mirrors a lot).  A horn, light flashing, hand waving, or the bird are just going to slow down the inevitable or have me decide that my already speeding ass doesn't need to move quite yet.  I always move over as it's a near necessity living in a town where 3 lanes of traffic going one way is a rarity.

Being a dick isn't going to turn on my revenge button, but it sure is going to put making you happy as a lesser priority. 

As an aside, being a new Dad has reduced my overall speed by about 5mph across the board, even if my kid isn't in the car.

You're the exception.

Plus, it's people like you need a punch in the face. If a simple light flash triggers your 'fuck you' response, I'm afraid it's what you deserve. Especially since you've already admitted you're driving slower than usual. Why don't you adapt your driving style to match? Stay in the god damned right lane you prick.

(:Love_Letters:)

Takes two to tango.  Don't put your kid at risk of a road rage accident by failing to yield to faster traffic. 

I've driven to work twice since my kid was born.  GIVE ME TIME.

Plus, my commute to work is really relaxed.  I left late and was the only person in the left lane for a majority of my 45 minute commute.  Once it shifted from 3 to 2 lanes, there wasn't a single person behind me.

Holy assumptions, batman.  The longest drive my kid has had yet is like 10 minutes to grandma's house.

This thread is all kinds of retarded.


And scene.

I take the bus to work. Driving in Seattle will ruin any notion of driving for pleasure. I miss North "First in Concrete!" Carolina sometimes.

I think he just threatened my son.  :awesome_for_real:

Now we're going places!   :drill:

Make all cars go at the exact same speed, regulated by built-in speed limits in the road itself. Then let computers steer the cars while the "driver" just sits there holding a useless wheel pretending to drive. Problem solved (though a ton of new problems created - but eh, can't have everything).

Not in any way, shape or form.  I've got a 4yr old daughter and I generally drive much slower (no more than 5 over, usually) with her in the car.  I also yield to faster traffic in the fast lane though, all the time.  

I was speaking generally and seriously.  If me and mine get hurt because I don't yield to faster traffic on purpose, then it's my fault as much as it is the other guy.  

Keep your commie socialist ideals out of this thread.

The goddamn reality is, nobody should be driving in the left lane in the US, its not for driving in its for passing but somehow you always end up with someone driving 5 miles over the speed limit thinking they are billy badass and going fast enough fucking up the entire system for everyone involved.  If you aren't actively passing something to the right, GET THE FUCK OVER ONE LANE.  But the 1% more income important assholes and the haha fuck you I'm so happy with where I am that I need to get my kicks by actively fucking with people who are in a hurry assholes drive like they are the reason the roads exist.

I rarely drive in the left lane as I drive typically at or only slighty above the speed limit. That does not however stop people from trying to ride my bumper to try to make me go faster so they can then cut the guy in the left lane off to gain a few more seconds on their commute to work. I really do not like tailgaters and unless their is a convienient  semi to drive up their angst in their left lane I just take my foot off the gas until they pass me. If I am going at or slightly above the speed limit and I am in the right lane don't start crawling up on my bumper and if you are weaving in and out of lanes /tailgating/honking I will do my best to find a semi to match speeds with.

It's not the fast lane where this is an issue.  The ones that aggravate me to the point of me needing to grief them are the ones that are weaving around across all the lanes of a five-lane highway and cutting people off because they can't wait an extra two seconds for an opening in the passing lane.  When one of those assholes swoops in behind me and starts tailgating me in the hopes that I'll speed up and let him cut off the truck to my left, I feel well within my rights matching velocities with the truck and keeping the asshole wedged there until my exit.  The faster lanes have me to thank for keeping them safe from the asshole for a few extra minutes.  I'm a goddamn hero.

(http://files.getdropbox.com/u/41161/GoddamnBatman.jpg)

This.

But eliminate the wheel and give me a comfortable seat and a nice drink; and perhaps a lady friend to tickle behind tinted windows. Seriosly, I'd be all over computerized cars for the win.

/admission
I do about five over the limit on the highway on normal days. If you are driving faster than me, I try to get out of the way. If you are driving slower than me, I pass you on the left. Once I achieved zen on this life got easy. The one thing about California drivers that blows my mind is passing on the right. I can be rolling down a six lane road with openings to my left and right and people who whip up doing 10 or 20 more than me will almost always pass on the right when the left is just as open. I don't understand that at all.

Now, if I get behind someone who's doing less than the limit, and hogging the left side of a multi-lane highway, I do pass them on the right and grumble about them being a stupid f'er; but then I go back to my ride and focus on being happy that the accident they will cause is behind me.

Why don't you all fuck off? Just get out of my way thats all.


(Figured it was a good summation of the thread so far.)

My bullshit detector is going off. People don't drive 110+ down goddamn I-5, there's no fucking way "a lot" of traffic is doing that through Chicago.

I like how certain people tried to morph this thread into how I think people should drive recklessly and far in excess of the speed limit, and that anyone who doesn't is an inferior worm.

Luckily, reason prevailed.  I didn't think I was saying anything controversial.  


Exac.

He must measure in kmph. Much of I90 in Chicago itself is 45. Out in the 'burbs it's 65. People drive about 75 on it in the 'burbs, with the occasional 85+.

My Dad likes to slam his brakes when people ride his tailgate.  Some of his best stories are those where some retarded chucklefuck decided to get out of their vehicle and teach the asshole in the compact car a lesson.  What makes the stories good is that He's ~6'3", 220 pounds, paid for his commercial diver's certification working as a bouncer in a California strip club, and has thicker arms, neck, and torso measurements than the governator in his prime.

Also:


Wights, Draugr, and Wendigo don't shamble.

I thought your first post was completely reasonable in content.  You only revealed yourself as one of The Enemy when you later spoke up in defense of the Beamer-driving right-passing cellphone-yapping cut-offing Mr. Important set, demanding that we peons acknowledge them as the Master Race.  Cat's out of the bag now, motherfucker.

I hope he gets sued for negligence if he causes an accident.  It'll be REAL funny then.  Slamming on your breaks to "teach someone a lesson">tailgating.

I disagree.  I think we're probably fundamentally in agreement.  Part of my rhetoric is hyperbole as an accoutrement to my rant, and part of it was in response to the hippie dippy notion that it's ok to out-douche someone by "punishing" them by not moving on a green light (i.e. if I'm a zombie why can't everyone be?!).  That's super gay, and fucks with everyone.

Nope, that was for real.  Traveling from Upper Minnesota to Ohio, we hit Chicago about 3am and I was scared shitless of how traffic was moving.  Cars and motorcycles were flying by me well over 100 mph, I was doing 90 trying to keep it together.  Damn near the scariest driving situation I've ever been in.  Needless to say, I wasn't in the fast lane.  

If I'm doing 80-85 mph, I find it amusing when someone wants to pass me, but I let them through.  Follow the white rabbit.  They make good cop-bait.  The only thing that pisses me off is all the times I'm doing a respectable 85 on the interstate, and I let someone go by, and then 20 secodns later I'm passing them again because I'm doing a legit 85 on cruise control, and they were just "caught up in the moment" of passing me. 

Canada, fuck yeah.

Geez.  I guess it goes without saying the guy should have discreetly flipped the screen closed while he slowly came to a stop.

Risk missing the money shot?  :awesome_for_real:



Also, the 401 is unholy.

I'm surprised he could speed on the 401.

I was rear-ended driving my mom's car when I was 16.   I'd started to pull out when some asshat pulled into the far right lane to zip around another car, forcing me to slam on my brakes as I was pulling out.  The woman behind me had been messing with plants and 'anticipated' I was still going when she smashed into me.   While explaining our sides to the police officer, she said she didn't see any car, I was lying and obviously I was at fault.  The cops response was, "Ma'm it doesn't matter if he stopped for an invisible squirrel.  You hit him from behind, so you're at fault."

Improper following distance > all. 

That's a fair point. I guess it goes without saying any shitbag who stops on purpose to cause an accident isn't going to have a big problem lying about why he stopped abruptly.  But the law of negligence can't be summed up as succinctly as the cop put it.  In general, people owe a duty of care to act as reasonably prudent people.  Most states have modified comparative negligence standards, which essentially means they apportion liability based on how negligent each party was.  It would be for the jury to decide.  I don't really have a lot of practical experience with torts.  I do land use controls.

It doesn't change the fact that the guy can always just move over to the right lane instead of causing an accident.


Edit: for clarity.

If you hit somebody from behind you will get the brunt of any legal repercussion because if you hit them from behind you were by definition driving to close and not maintaining a safe distance or you could have stopped in time or avoided them.

As it would be almost impossible to prove after the fact if the person in front had a "legitimate" reason to hit their breaks the person from behind who hits them will almost always eat the penalties. This is why insurance fraud out works so well where they use a team of two cars a van to be on your side so you cannot move out of your lane and a car in front of you to slam on your breaks.  Unless you just stop moving or slow way down they will wedge you in and you hit the guy in front of you and they sue for whiplash/pain and suffering and the full meal deal. Unless they get greedy and do it to much its almost impossible to get somebody for doing it.

Brakes.

The law and insurance ALWAYS favors the person who got hit from behind. Sorry, Charley, do not tailgate shitty vehicles. I might not slam on my brakes in my new truck, but in my old piece of shit I used to pray for assholes to pull some type A shit around me so I could get a new truck.Scariest part of the thread so far.

It is true that many states have a presumption that someone who rear-ends you is negligent.  But that presumption can always be rebutted.  Hypothetically, in the aforementioned fact pattern of a guy stopping to intentionally cause an accident, well that's grossly reckless behavior.  And in a modified comparative negligence jurisdiction (most are) a jury would likely find that person at a greater degree of liability than the person who hit him.  However, I've already conceded that as a practical matter, this would be difficult to prove.  But you could still attempt to show that the other person stopped so suddenly, that you had no time to stop, and thus reduce your liability (while still being primarily liable).

Either way, I'd sue anyone who I suspected of being that big of a shitbag, just to fuck with their cash.  By the time I was done with them, any money they made off their little scheme would be eaten up in legal fees, and then some.

Why?  Land Use Controls is a relatively benign and uninteresting facet of the law.

Distinction between internet persona and RL behaviour. Some believe there isn't one.
A similar comment was made about Triforcer once, if I remember correctly.

Well, yeah, I figured.  I'm not new to insults on f13.  But my point is that if I screw up, the worst that could happen is someone doesn't get their property rezoned.  In which case that's what malpractice suits are for.  So, essentially just a weak insult.  Sky has terrible taste in music anyway, I don't take him seriously.   :drill:

The asshats that speed up when I give the courtesy of the goddamned blinkers when I go for the pass are the worst. It's gotten so that I don't use the blinkers until after I've started to pass.

One of my driving rules is simply do not interrupt the flow of other people. If someone has to slow down if I jump into a lane, I fucked up. If they are on my ass, I am too slow. Again I fucked up.

Some folks seem to forget all us hairless apes have to use the damn freeway.  DRIVE RIGHT.

Exactly.  It's not your duty to hall-monitor the roads.  Get out of the way.  That is all.

I generally drive on the right and if someone is coming up behind me I move over as soon as possible.  However, I drive at about 5 miles over the speed limit, which is pretty much the sweet spot to avoid getting tickets.  If there's no room to move over and you come zooming up my ass, I am not going to risk getting a ticket I can't afford to pay because you 'got somewhere to be.' You're just going to have to wait.

On another note, why is the 'flow of traffic' line always touted for fast traffic?  Sometimes the excessive speeder just needs to slow the fuck down and not disrupt the 'flow of traffic.'

If you're in the right lane and you're going at least the speed limit, I think you're fine.  Especially if there's no room to get over.  I get what you're saying on speeders, but in general, people who won't get the fuck out of the way are a much bigger contributing factor to congestion.

What pisses me off is when a lane is closed ahead, and signs indicate such well in advance, you have cock magnets zoom down that lane and expect to merge in front of everyone who paid attention to the damn signs.  The resulting congestion from everyone slowing down and stopping to allow them to do so infuriates me.

Every forced merge of through lanes (as compared to onramps) should be a forced exit, when possible.  I have never seen a case where a lane is continued past an exit for a few hundred feet that it did not create a mess from people waiting until the merge was forced to try and change lanes, leading to stop-and-go congestion and regular accidents (which shut everything down).  Between people who use any easing of the right lanes as a chance to change lanes and gain a few car lengths, and people trying to block them out to punish them, along with the clueless that don't realize you should merge as soon as you realize you need to, it's a mess at rush hour every single time.

Classic example here in Austin: Mopac (Loop 1) northbound has an entrance into Research Boulevard (Route 183) northbound (it's actually between northeast and northwest).  This makes 4 lanes, and the next exit (Loop 360) will have one of those forced to exit.  Signage will make it look like the next lane in can also exit to 360, but it can't, and in the next quarter mile or so, it will be forced to merge into the remaining two lanes (then another lane will join from the right and it will stay 3 lanes from there to RR 620, 20 miles away).  Research Boulevard is 3+ lanes from beginning to end in both direction, except for this one tiny stretch of the northbound.

The errors of planning out the routes here are legion, the bad signage, the lane that goes away only to be returned, taking the lane away at all rather than forcing the incoming traffic to merge or giving a short stretch of 4 lanes with a forced exit.  And every afternoon, this stretch of highway locks up as all the northbound traffic out of Austin to the NW gets crammed into the two-lane bottleneck.

--Dave

Haha, yeah.  I remember once in college I went to Bonnaroo. There was 7 hours of traffic in a line waiting to get in.  We were there all morning and all day in the hot sun, and I was running out of gas (didn't expect to be idling that long) so I couldn't run the AC.  We were just baking.  Then, a car full of douches pulled that very same trick, and tried to merge in, bypassing the whole line.  We tried to box them out but they eventually got in.  There was basically a riot.  A bunch of sweaty, high, and pissed off college kids got out of their cars and stormed the offending vehicle.  There was a huge fight but they refused to leave.  It basically made the rest of the weekend suck balls because were then had to camp right next to this car full of douches, and it was awkward and tense.

Except in my father's case, he isn't trying to cause an accident, he's trying to provoke assholes and/or drunks into a fistfight on a rural highway.  He doesn't just slam his brakes on a crowded highway mid-day, that would be irresponsible.  However he does it often enough that he's provoked quite a number of people to (attempt to) get out of their vehicle, including a truckload of Mormons.  "Attempt" being the operative word: if you roll down your window to yell at someone it is best to roll it back up before you undo your belt buckle to get out of the vehicle. :grin:

As for why: when he isn't diving he primarily works as a firefighter, he is involved with accident cleanup and the town's prevention efforts.  He also likes to beat the shit out of assholes.  Work meets pleasure.

 :star: :star: :star: :star: :star:

http://www.videosift.com/video/A-revolutionary-new-concept-Getting-the-F-k-Out-of-the-Way

That's already been posted in the first page.

I have no problem with asses being kicked with impunity.  But you seemed to suggest that he's intentionally trying to cause accidents.  Which I find HIGHLY scummy.  If that's not the case, all apologies.

There is no way to brake check someone tailgating you without being reckless, regardless if ones intention is to provoke a drunk into a fight.  It is a double dose of stupid.

Yeah, if someone is tailgating you, just drop down to about 10 under the limit. I'm not some 'hall monitor' as the dusebag puts it, but by tailgating me, you're risking my safety so I'll react to it. You're not going to get where you're going any faster by riding my bumper, you're just ensuring a crash if something jumps in front of my vehicle, or even if I have to make a sudden slow for a turn or something. That's why the law and insurance treat tailgating so harshly, it's fucking stupid.

(Brake checks on tailgaters is also fucking stupid)

One thing I miss about my Audis is the rear fog light.

I miss the rear windshield wiper.  None of my cars since the Subaru SVX I had in highschool have ahd one.

Conversely, I'm a good enough driver that when people are being retarded and driving way slow in front of me, I can tailgate the shit out of them.  Bring myself as close as possible, and maintain that exact distance no matter what they do.  Pass any break checks they try (and oh, how they try), slow down/speed up, etc.  In the end, they always pull over, because it always annoys them more having somebody follow right on their ass for miles, no matter how slow they go.  For me, its a driving game that helps pass the time!

But I only do that to people when they are being dicks (like going under the speed limit on a busy road).   :why_so_serious:

lol

Depending on how it's done ;-)  I've tapped the brakes with one foot while applying gas on the other, and all that did was cause people to back off without danger of hitting me.

I enjoyed an old car I had that could turn the reverse lights on by rotating the column out of gear.  Scared the shit out of someone who was riding my ass one day by turning the lights on while continuing to drive along.  They stopped doing it.  And yes, it was just me and them on the road and for some reason they didn't think my 70 in a 65 was fast enough so rather than go around they ran right up behind me and sat there.

I tend to give slow people the benefit most times. I picture the times I've needed to drive slow and cautiously, it's usually because I'm carrying something fragile/tippy/flammable/explosive, or I've got somebody sick or injured in the car. Then again, I don't really speed and leave enough time to get places and enjoy driving. I also don't live in the asshole places you guys live with hellish commutes through five lanes of morons. Hell, I make my fiancee drive through Albany, fuck those assholes.

This thread makes me think an F13.net Cannonball Run race is in order.

I would win.

Surprisingly, for a thread about bad drivers, there's a lack of racism or stereotypes.

Fixed.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1hs546NH7A (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1hs546NH7A)


(http://www.clisham.com-a.googlepages.com/w_drive_6.jpg)

(http://www.clisham.com-a.googlepages.com/women_driver_5.jpg)

I think this is one of the places where racism is totally unneeded. It's some dickhead behind a wheel usually having no face or color unless you care.

It's not like standing in a government line, or bitching about crime.

That's because it's too easy.

lol.

I would take a vacation to participate. That would sweet.

(http://f.imagehost.org/0174/Wacky_Races.jpg)

This thread makes me wish I was in a city with decent public transportation.  My drive to work is easy and brainless (but somewhat long), especially now that the freeway expansion is nearly finished on I-10.  I'd rather read or play my PSP and leave the driving tough guy stuff to others.

I'd love decent, safe public transit around here. Mississippi drivers are complete fucking retards, 24-7 and worse when there are adverse driving conditions.

Walk 5 minutes to train station, get on train, fall asleep for 40 minutes, get off train, walk 20 minutes to work.

I like my commute.

I have that same commute, potentially, except that it's twice as fast and about half as expensive for me to drive.  So I drive most days even though I don't like it as much because I don't get a nap or exercise.  :-P

I just have a 25 minute walk through the park to my office; or a 10-min bike ride if I'm in a rush  :awesome_for_real:

This article makes me a sad panda. The good news is that if everyone follows the rules then traffic would be optimized.  Bad news is that in our imperfect world, assholes help to improve traffic flow.

http://physicscentral.com/buzz/blog/index.cfm?postid=3414795237807494042 (http://physicscentral.com/buzz/blog/index.cfm?postid=3414795237807494042)

So, thank you anonymous asshole.

Even they say tailgating is dumb.

I just got home from Gainesville (work trip) today, and I witnessed a fatal car accident.

A few hundred feet ahead of us, a pickup towing what looked like a wood chipper started swerving around and slowing rapidly, eventually pulling off into the median (we later found out it was because of a blowout), and the car behind them swerved to avoid hitting it, ended up crossing the median into oncoming traffic and ultimately hit the trailer wheels of a semi at damn near the same speed they were doing down the interstate (60-70 mph), which sheared off or crushed the left side of the car up to the front door.

Driver was killed instantly (and that image will stay with me pretty much forever), while the passenger was concussed and had a broken wrist.

We pulled onto the shoulder, called 911, etc. and waited around to make sure the passenger was okay until the police/EMTs arrived and then to give statements.

The number of people that stopped and got out to look and then left within a minute to avoid having to wait and give a statement was kind of sad - there were 6-8 cars immediately after the accident, and it was just us and one other car afterwards.  The rest of them had buggered off, with most of them leaving before the cops/EMTs showed up.  The cops thanked us for waiting and giving statements and we were on our way.

Not sure why I'm posting it here, but I just wanted to say 'Drive safely'.  I don't think I'll ever curse at a traffic jam on the interstate again - odds are that if you're in one, someone not too far away is far worse off than you are.

Good for you, Mr. N. You're one of the good ones.

When driving around Colorado - mostly between the Springs and Denver or the Springs and Pueblo - we'd get stuck in slow moving traffic on the interstate quite regularly. In every. single.case it was because two cars in the opposite carriageway had had a minor ding or someone (as in, bumpers crushed but car still drivable and occupants walking around) and we were being held up just so that every other fucker could have a good gawp as they drove by. As soon as we passed the scene the traffic was back up to full speed again.

Fuckers.

But yeah, speaking as a former volunteer fireman fatal RTAs are never fun to witness. Good on you for helping out.

Nice.  Let's keep this thread strictly about rage from now on.  Nice refocus Ian.

Protip: Vicks vapour rub or similar compounds spread liberally under the nose helps with the smells of shit, blood, and cooking meat.  It also helps with decaying flesh if you have to recover a corpse.

I forget which movie I learned that from.

Silence of the lambs.

Being somewhat of a Road Rager, I'm suprised I missed this thread. I fully admit to getting very annoyed by cars in the left lane pacing the cars in right, but I don't tailgate them, because that's dangerous as hell, and I don't (usually) honk at them, because that usually makes them behave worse (see Sky). I just sit in my car yelling out vulgarities.

If you are on a two lane highway in the left lane and are not going faster than the right lane - move over. It's really that easy. Purposly going slow in the fast lane in an effort to "control" fast drivers is just going to increase anger and make accidents far more likely. Leave the the Cops' jobs to the Cops.

Someone mentioned earlier in this thread that in a rear ender the guy behind always gets the blame - not always true.

I was driving over a bridge in almost stop and go traffic. The guy ahead of me starts accelerating as the traffic in front of him does, then suddenly slams his brakes. I slam on mine and actually slide in to him. I'd almost managed to stop, and just barely bumped him. So he stops, in the middle of the bridge...

He gets out, so do I. We walk around the back of his car, and we both bend down to look at his bumper. There is about a 3 inch paint smudge, which I show him I can rub off with my thumb. He walks back to his car, gets in, closes the door, rolls down his window - and then puts his hand to his neck and tells me to callt he police...

So, I walk back to my car (ignoring all the honking and fingers from the traffic on the bridge we are blocking) and advise my passenger - who is a local Volunteer Firefighter. He gets out, goes to the guy's car and immobilzes him.

Long story short - 2 cop cars, ambulance, etc. Traffic on the highway slowed to a crawl for hours. We give our statements and leave. Two months later I get a call from ICBC (government car insurance) - they denied his claim 100% and I'm completely in the clear.

Helped having a fireman in the car to give our side of the story.

Asians, etc.

Carry on.

Explain please?

I'm imagining under the guise of preventing further trauma to the guys spine? But that justification isn't going to work if you have to actively fight and restrain the man causing far more movement than would normally be caused by leaving him alone. All the guy really has to say is he was trying to avoid a collision with an animal or something to justify his brake check.

Vulcan Death Grip.

Pretty much. He climbs in to the guy's car and explains that if he really is hurt, then he needs to immobilize his head - so he does - sits there holding it till the paramedics arrive. They then procede to backboard him out. All of this being a rather lengthy and uncomfortable process, which I am quite positive they stretched out, becuase everyone at the scene knew that that the guy was bullshitting his injuries.

I was on a jury once for a civil case where someone lightly rear-ended on an off-ramp was trying to claim big damages for whiplash/neck trauma. Plaintiff got some hack osteopath to testify that the injury was srs bizness and they tried (unsuccessfully) to introduce evidence about the low moral character of the rear-ender (something about his insurance status and also outstanding parking tickets). The defendant's attorney just did two things: first, cross-x the osteopath, which revealed that the guy basically has a practice exclusively built around providing legal documentation of injury to people involved in minor accidents, that he has no other patients or practice; second, submitted an affadavit confirming that the person rear-ended took off for a lengthy Class 4 whitewater rafting trip a week and a half after the accident and that the trip leaders saw no disability or restriction in his participation during that trip. Also that the insurance company for the guy rear-ended had denied his claim as there was no damage to his car. That pretty much ended the discussion once we got into the jury room.

But still, I basically try to leave enough room between me and anyone in front of me that I can stop even if they should choose to hit the brakes suddenly. I'm not saying I guarantee being able to avoid an accident if I'm doing 70 and the guy three or four carlengths ahead of me slams on his brakes spontaneously with no reason or forewarning, but that's the goal. If you're not driving with that rule in mind, in some sense, anytime you rear-end, you made a mistake even if the other guy also did something wrong or stupid.