f13.net

the apocalypse is nigh as the Hadron Super Collider is about to go live.  Portals into Demonkind will be opened.  Grab a shovel.  Or chainsaw.  Good times to come.   :popcorn:

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/08/the_large_hadron_collider.html (http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/08/the_large_hadron_collider.html)

(great pictures)

(http://cache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/lhc_08_01/lhc1.jpg)

Thread title is so good, I don't know whether or not to den this.

Are you high? This may be the only record left of humanity after this thing wipes us out (provided it's not stopped from doing so by the future repercussions of it being activated, which lets us see what a time-travel paradox is like IRL).

Whatever replaces us as the dominant species on the planet must be warned! (I really hope it's Red Pandas. They'd make the cutest societies ever)

He wants to den it because this is the 3rd time this same topic and set of pictures has been brought up in the last week. It's not new.

forgiveness, plz.  didn't know this was a redundant threepeat.

The title is true, FWIW.  No word about the demons.  Although I figured everyone here was down with that.

I don't want to die a virgin.



*doh!

P.S. Oh, hey! The attacks will start on my birthday. That's awesome!

Maybe one of the demons will have its way with you before killing you?  Think of it as the birthday present from Dimension X.

So you're saying someone should go beat off in it?
Quick, someone call Garriot!

It's to bad we canceled the one we were building  :cry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider

It was going to be much more powerful (but also much more expensive).

But oh well, we created the International Space Station with that money instead...

What they don't tell you is that the collider has been built by twenty-somethings. WELSH twenty-somethings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHjFxJVeCQs

Fucking thing got pushed back AGAIN.

Light it the fuck up already.

"Pushed back again" is an interesting way to say "they have delayed our cruel fate." I say, "phew."

Fuck that.

PUSH THE BIG RED BUTTON.

Hey Hombre, just cuz your shit fell apart doesn't mean I need a giant death ray to tear a hole through time and space to I can empathize with you. Also, what happened to playing Diablo?

THIS COULD BE DIABLO.


IRL.

Diablo IRL does NOT, i repeat does NOT, sound fun.  it sounds like getting my guts ripped out by some pissed of extradimenstional demon that's pissed that we ripped a hole in his kitchen while he was having his morning coffee.

I can has your stuff?

It all ties back in to the asian guy in the bus.....fucking demons.  :drill:

Now it's appealing.

The demon fucking or the world destruction?

I was thinking demon fighting. All I know is this is a bad science fair experiment.

It's not going to work, anyway.  It's all being fucked-up from the future because they created too many hickson (or was it bose) particles.

Now if only I could find the thread that explains what I just said.  Damnit, it's not the "We're all doomed one" either.  Must be in awesome pics. 

Ed: Yep; http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=12433.msg490218#msg490218

Once it's perfected the Electron Pump will be the ultimate, clean energy source. And perfectly safe.

(http://cache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/lhc_08_01/lhc27.jpg)

I get the Eerie feeling this is going to be a "before" picture.

lol Lakov.

Someone should photoshop that ala the Diablo 3 art issue.

There is one nice thing about having an available portal to another dimension: We'll have a place to put all of our waste.

Also, Hellgate: Geneva.

Seriously though, I was just reading an essay by a science guy named Kip Thorne. He speculated that "sometime between 2008 and 2030, gravitational waves from the Big Bang singularity will be discovered." So, I guess this is the first step towards wedding Quantum Theory and Relativity. It seems that they are just recreating gravitaional waves here, but it's quite similar.

"These efforts will reveal intimate details of the big bang singularity, and will thereby verify that some version of string theory is the correct quantum theory of gravity."

Good times to live in, so long as my asshole stays safe. I'm no physicist, so I could be way off the mark here.

they are rapping about it..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM&eurl=http://www.engadget.com/2008/08/08/cern-rap-video-about-the-large-hadron-collider-creates-a-black-h/

 :awesome_for_real:

Those wacky physicists.

When i saw spiderman in that, I knew we were all fucked. If there is any god that exists in this universe I don't think they could pass up the comedic value of this 20-something dorks opening up hell/destroying the world.

That's pretty cool.

nm

k

I had originally posted a youtube vid of a guy with some paranoid delusions about the accelerator being a portal to Satan. It was funny for the first minute or two, but then it slowly dawns on you how ill this guy must be, and teh funneh just died. So I edited myself in a heroic attempt at taste.

(http://pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF111-Reset.jpg)

I think the real issue here is can we afford not to do this if it could have created our universe in the first place?

FUCK YES ! I knew those axes in the toolshed was to come in handy one day. BRING THE MOTHERFUCKERS ON!

I don't know about the Diablo references... isn't it more like Half Life?  Paging Gordon Freeman...

So basically what you are telling me is that A) I am about to die because a group of geeks are opening a portal to Lucifer's Minions or B) I am about to die because we are about to make the entire universe re-explode so that I might exist for the first time in another few gazillion years.  Excellent, thanks.  No reason for me to not start that mass killing/raping spree that I'd been planning, then.

 :ye_gods:

More like
:pedobear:

(http://www.clisham.com-a.googlepages.com/4chan1.jpg)

Online documentation for the LHC (http://www.iop.org/EJ/journal/-page=extra.lhc/jinst) (1600 pages worth)

Article about the documentation (http://www.symmetrymagazine.org/breaking/2008/08/25/free-online-full-documentation-for-the-large-hadron-collider/)

So this is clearly above the level of science that I understand. What's actually happening with this thing? Is it just smashing atoms together at ridiculous speed or is it doing something completely new? Like breaking atoms down to a smaller level than before? Someone enlighten me, please.

After?

(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f27/taolurker/WormholeCollider.jpg)

I don't see the flower-breathing dragons in your picture.

I applaud your optomism.

It smashes them together at virtually light-speed. The resulting energy density is quite close to the energy densities in the immediate aftermath of the Big Bang. Like "picoseconds" after.

You could view it as "energy density" or "heat" or whatever, if it helps.

See, particles -- and forces -- undergo phase transitions. Like how water undergoes phase transitions at 100 degrees C and 0 degrees C (transitions gas to liquid, liquid to solid). Much like it's impossible (well, really difficult) to have ice in a 10,000 degree oven, it's really hard to find some particles at the universe's current "room temperature".

So the very nuts and bolts of physics, where it all comes together, is in those picoseconds after the Big Bang when it was really damn hot. At that moment, particles and forces existed in ways they never have since. And since everything from that moment on was a sundering and cooling and changing, they'll like to see what it was like "in the beginning".

It's really about how the four fundamental forces (gravity, electromagnetic, weak and strong nuclear) were one -- the Higgs. And the Higgs is the holy grail of physics. If they can find it, measure it, get a feel for how that bad boy worked -- they think they can finish unifying physics and get to some really cool shit.

That's the whole purpose of the bloody thing. Get particles moving REALLY fast and smash them into a target (or each other). In the moment of collision, the temperatures will be close to those of the Big Bang. So they see what sorts of weird-ass particles and forces exist at that level and see if they can use that to make the universe humanity's bitch.

(http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/82194/WormholeCollider.GIF)

ENGELS DO NOT MAEK POOPIES

Thanks, Engels, for proving to me that I'm not the only broken sumbitch in this world... because I thought the same fucking thing when I saw that pic.

we're going to GOATSE the universe?

My French-Swiss cousins live just nearby (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=laconnex&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=59.597077,71.191406&ie=UTF8&ll=46.237802,6.081276&spn=0.206595,0.278091&t=h&z=12&iwloc=addr). I was there last year. They're mostly proud of this thing, not worried.

Well ya gotta figure, this thing either grows a new universe inside and replacing the one we have... or it doesn't.

Or it does so in a different timeline?

Were all the timelines of the multiverse spawned from the Big Bang?

I am camly awaiting the arrival of our new overlords. :drill:

The 5 Scientific Experiments Most Likely to End the World (http://www.cracked.com/article_16583_5-scientific-experiments-most-likely-end-world.html)

Lotsa fuckin scientists in the comments there.

I'm still hedging on Diablo becoming real and me living the dream. Booya.

Fixed.

Playing Diablo may be cool. But as long as I don't become some kind of perma hulk or discover my ability of throwing around fire and ice IRL Diablo is NOT COOL!

But I just imagined just HOW many females I may could convince that they REALLY don't want to die as virgins  :grin:  :pedobear:

Earth...the grief link of the universe.


Yeah, I can see that. Aliens give each other our coordinates as a joke, then run in fear, never able to scrub the human race from their mind, humming Rick Astley all the while.

No worries, everything is going to be fine :

(http://i454.photobucket.com/albums/qq262/freehostingbucket/gordonfreeman.jpg)

I'm going to start scattering crowbars, health kits and ammo all over the place.

That guy on the far left is hammered.  He knows what shit is about to go down.

Why are people in suit jackets and scary ties tightening the bolts? Or is it loosening the bolts?

No problem. They timed it so that the Spore release would give us the opportunity to 'design' our replacements.

That picture needs the G-man to be shopped into the far background.

Ye gads, we've got a front office middlemanagement suit hand-tightening one of the most advanced pieces of precision-engineered technologies ever created  :ye_gods:

The sign says "last bolt tightening" so it would have been a ceremony akin to a groundbreaking.

Not to mention that's an adjustable torque wrench; I'll guarantee every single one of the bolts on the LHC were tightened, by hand, using a a tool similar to that, if not that one itself.

You use it when you want to tighten bolts to a very specific tightness; something you can't do with a compressed air wrench.

It's also foolproof; there's a dial that you set to the desired rating, and then you just pull until it clicks, kind of like your gas cap. It's really hard to fuck up.

So, you're saying there's a chance?

And what if they calculated the torque needed wrong?

Large Hellgate Collider.

I think he was trying to be My Cousin Vinny.

So have they fired this fucker up yet or what? What's the delay!

I haven't read the whole article yet, but apparently tomorrow, Sept 10, is the big day.  I hope our European friends are prepared to hold back the legions of Satan, because I have meetings tomorrow.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html (http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html)

They won't begin smashing things for a few more months yet (assuming all the tests go well).

They still have to calibrate all the equipment don't they? Considering how modern physics works there won't be any delays there at all..

Something awful warning! Here's a guy who works there and is answering questions about it (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2924802).

It's a pretty interesting read!

(http://void.printf.net/~conor/sa/LHCb/stop.jpg)

Damnit Bhodi! I was supposed to be in bed 2 hours ago...

?tey no gniht siht si

Apparently they fired it up for a first test.  I'm giving everyone an extra lookover this morning, just to ensure that they aren't really satanic zombies preparing to dine on my brains.

Thanks for the link Bhodi, good read.

They've fired it up at least twice now with great success.

Also, Google made a funny. (http://www.google.com/)

Nice one.

Apparently it's going to be a few months until they begin smashing protons together, so this thread, and all of humanity, will live a little longer.

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/turn-on.png)

Ha ha the comic is gold.

http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

There's a pretty cool webcam (http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html) that you can check out. It's kind of boring though, just some scientists wandering around.

!

 :drill:

So awsome.

In case you guys have missed it.. there's a rap about the LHC that was made by one of the CERN people. 

Cern LHC Rap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM)

Webcam of them turning it on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sqT6TulFk4

I heard this on NPR this morning and had to laugh: the clapping sounded like it began before the photon finished it's travel around... because it finished before it started!  :grin:

LHC Live Webcams (http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html)

Future civilization has come back to glitch up the LHC (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26780393/).

Oh, and who doesn't think this image isn't from ST:TNG Best of Both Worlds:

(how do I make images smaller without download, resizing, and hosting somewhere else?)

(http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photo_StoryLevel/080516/080516-lhc-atlas-hlarge-630p.hlarge.jpg)
Resistance is futile!

(http://www.sysprog.net/borg.jpg)

And now it's down 2 months (http://news.wired.com/dynamic/stories/E/EU_SWITZERLAND_PARTICLE_COLLIDER?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2008-09-20-08-18-53).

Last new post in this thread for a bit :-)

Super duper necro!

So they fired this baby off today, and the earth didn't end.  OR DID IT?!   :ye_gods:

Oh, uh, linky:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100330/ap_on_sc/eu_big_bang_machine (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100330/ap_on_sc/eu_big_bang_machine)

The energies they're using are nowhere near the theoretical limit of the machine.  It's pretty much LHC easymode right now, yet still they break records.  It will start getting scary when they approach the energies needed to see the Higgs (if it exists).

Also, if you're interested in this stuff you can follow CERN pretty closely on Caltech's EVO: http://evo.caltech.edu/evoGate/
It's the collaboration network they use.

Oddly enough, that's what they want to happen.

I always laugh at the argument against doomsday.

"Yes it can possibly create a microscopic black hole but it'll be so small it wont do anything and just disappear, trust us"

I'm not saying anything bad will actually happen but they need a better argument methinks.

It wouldn't have the mass, nor a large enough event horizon, to be self-sustaining.  It would burn itself out with barely a wimper.

That's what the last guy said right before he turned himself inside out.

It was only half power or something like that.  It's supposed to double in power over the next few years, which is when they expect to destroy the universe discover if they can see anything about the Higgs-Boson.

I predict we'll see something around the end of 2012.

It is being turned off for 14 months in 2012 after being run for 2 years at half power (what it is at now).

Maybe they are doing that just to make sure that if the world DOES end at the end of 2012 they can't be blamed.

This.  To be sustainable, it would need a mass of 2.5X the sun per the physicists at work.  They worked on the project, so we get to have all sorts of interesting discussions about it and a lot of is laughing at the media's presentation of it.

The paper says it is scary.  I could end up in the eleventh dimension.

Right now, pretty sure the 11th dimension is in a cavity in my cerebellum.

To look at the problem that Lakov Sanite had, it's like arguing "our experiment might create a killer but his insane blood lust will be so strong that he'll kill himself long before seeing anyone else." It's a sound argument but it probably isn't going to make anyone feel totally at ease about the whole thing.

Edit: sometimes one should add verbs.

Oh I know, it's just the defense of "it's not going to be a big black hole" is the sort of thing great comedies are made of.

If explaining it to a layman I think you'd be better off saying "it's not a black hole" and leaving it at that.  "Black hole" to most people implies something that sucks in things around it.  For that to happen it needs to be a certain size, though.  A "little" black hole like what they're talking about isn't big enough to hold its own bits together, much less start pulling in bits of its surroundings.  Easier to just say it's not a black hole, even if it's made out of the same stuff.

It's a "black hole" the same way a single atom of uranium is a "nuclear bomb".

The LHC is going to start making nuclear bombs? Well at least we'll have something to fight off the inter-dimensional dragons with.

I find it ironic that nearly the entire purpose of the LHC is to explain mass, yet the main argument against a world-ending black hole is...  mass. 
Not that I dont believe the experts, but Physics as we know it ends at the Singularity and the sum total of our particle Physics knowledge ends at Mass.  So, in essence, our arguments against blowing up the Universe are pretty much reliant on the weakest parts of our Physics currently.    :awesome_for_real:

They're turning it off to replace a bunch of linkages that were supposed to, but turns out actually can't, support the power needs they're running through them.

That's what blew up the first time they turned it on. They also have some misbehaving magnets. It'll run to half power or so just fine, but things will start breaking at higher energies.

They're simply not accelerating enough protons to form a stable black hole: 10¹⁹ protons in a radius 10^-20 of a single proton (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planck_particle).  Even that isn't expected to survive.

I think part of the problem is that people think a black hole sucks in everything near it.  Were the sun's mass to suddenly be compressed into a singularity, all the planets would... behave exactly as they do now.  The gravity exerted is the same because the mass is the same.  The event horizon would be a shorter radius than where the edge of the sun currently resides.  We'll be fine.

You say we'll be fine all I hear is "Insane killer will be given a knife that's not long enough to kill you."

Switzerland is pretty far away... :awesome_for_real:

This is actually a completely logically valid argument against their rebuttal. Current particle physics can't say that this won't do something like that, which is why we're researching it in the first place.

The easier way to dispel these rumors is simply by pointing out that high energy cosmic rays a billion times more ass-kicking than anything the LHC can produce are constantly smashing into the earth, so far without having released Nihilanth.

Aside from the no sun and light and heat and stuff.... we'll be fine.  :why_so_serious:

Black holes are actually pretty active in terms of particle emissions.

EDIT: Okay, I was wrong, the emissions are only significant for collapsing holes...  Which apparently explode in a massive gamma burst.

EDIT: Okay, I was sort of right.  The accretion disk creates massive jets of particles at the poles.

Well, I was speaking in terms of the planetary bodies themselves surviving due to a lack of gravitational changes.  Sure we would die as the earth turned into an irradiated popsicle, but the solar system itself would be fine.

(And this is of course using a *poof* the sun is now a black hole theorycrafting.  Any event which actually caused this would be cataclysmic on a scale only astrophysicists can dream of.  Nor is Sol a candidate for it occurring.)

Thanks.  Good read!