Shockeye's Useless News

[Shockeye]

What channel is she on?

She makes regular appearances on Regis and Kath..er Kelly.

She does the occasional show on The Food Network

And she is also on Fine Living.


Women that can also cook...




And sad to say, these women probably do rock 250, or however that lily person put it.

But they probably cook a mean pot roast.

Didn't one of them die a few years back?

[EDIT] Yep. Dead.

[SuperPopTart]

Wow. I loved watching them. They were so adorable. So.. British. It was like watching my mum. Only well, kind of not. Shockeye couldn't you have just lied to me and spared me the sadness?


I'm in mourning now.

You are no longer a happy bringer.

[voodoolily]

Is one of them that Queen of the Kitchen woman? She kicks ass. She's very bossy and confident.

[Shockeye]

I... well...

I'm sorry.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

[Shockeye]

World's Worst Name

[voodoolily]

I love the old bloodninja stuff. Hell of ol skool.

[WayAbvPar]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Fuck am I hard no

OMG Classic.

[Samwise]

HARRRR!

[Shockeye]

J-Dogg: You there baby??
Partner2: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Partner2: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.
Partner2: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Partner2: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Partner2: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Partner2: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.
Partner2: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...

[Shockeye]

Fairly Goth
You scored 43!
You know some stuff. Chances are you're one of those counter-culture hybrids like goth-punk,electro-goth,or nature-goth.You like the gothic counter-culture and you seek out the bits you like most.I bet you love Tim Burton movies.Chances are you've never seen Switchblade Symphony live before they broke up but you may own a CD.Hey-Tapping the Vein still tours!Your dream profession is probably something where you have total control like owning your own buisness or freelance artist.

The GOTH Test
   

[schild]

29. What religion are you?

Christian/Muslim/Bhuddist
Pagan/Agnostic/Atheist
Scientologist
DISCORDIAN!! WOOOP! NAAA!

That's hilarious.

Very Goth
You scored 63!

Probably not true.

Not only do you know who Switchblade Symphony is, you own every CD and EP they ever put out.

This is probably true.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
 
You scored higher than 47% on gothies

Yay?

20. Which one of these bands are NOT an industrial band?
Laibach
Wumpscut
Black Tape For a Blue Girl
KMFDM

Whoever wrote the test, which was filled with spelling errors, surprised me with that question. I mean the answer was simple, but. Yea. Impressive.

[Shockeye]

I don't know what to say about this except China is 8th.

[SirBruce]

This test sucks.

Very Goth
You scored 69! 
You're a Goth. Whether you admit it freely or not there is no denying it. You love the stuff and can't get enough. You decorate your living space in a way that is part morbid part chaotic.I'm sure your music is mostly Goth/Industrial/Darkwave. Wherever you go you're probably dressed mostly in black.Not only do you know who Switchblade Symphony is, you own every CD and EP they ever put out. Your dream profession is definatly something that benifits goths-Tattoo artist, goth DJ, freelance Gothic artist, Gothy comic creator ect.ect.ect... 

The test couldn't be more wrong.  Just because I'm an outcast doesn't make me a goth.  Yes, my wardrobe is 75% or more black, but honestly, I don't listen to goth music or wear makeup or have anything pierced.  I like Goths fine, but I surely am not one.

Bruce

[Shockeye]

The test couldn't be more wrong.  Just because I'm an outcast doesn't make me a goth.  Yes, my wardrobe is 75% or more black, but honestly, I don't listen to goth music or wear makeup or have anything pierced.  I like Goths fine, but I surely am not one.

Denial is strong in this one.

[Paelos]

I was like 37% goth. Um, I'm a conservative southerner who listens to classic rock. I dress in Polo daily at work. I'm a damn accountant. Slightly goth i'm not.

Test fails.

[Furiously]

I like Goths fine, but I surely am not one.

Bruce

I would tend to agree you are not a goth. But then another part of me says, Skull cane?

[SirBruce]

Good point about the skull cane.  Still.  I deserve at most Fairly Goth.  The test scores perhaps about 20 points too high.

Bruce

[stray]

Very Goth
You scored 69!

69 here too.

I don't know whether to disagree or not. I'm more of a well rounded freak, I think. My favorite color is blue, I usually go out of my way to relate to different people, and mostly importantly, I've only worn eyeliner once (and that too, was only because I was going out of my way for someone).

Then again, I happen to find Rozz Williams to be a funny guy (Hrm...well...he used to be, that is).

[Samwise]

62 on the goth test.  Probably because I'm angsty.

[Nazrat]

I got a 47.  I have never heard of any band on that test.  I listen to classic rock or country.  I am a Christian who only wears black when I put on my dark suit for funerals or when I feel angry in court.  I am 36 year old attorney/father of 2 who plays video games,  has a comic collection in his garage, and is a huge sportsfan. I have never seen a Goth play fantasy league baseball or teach Sunday School.  No one I know would ever think of the term Goth for me. 

The test puts too much reliance on that crappy list of movies and my choice of the Crow. 

Test broken.

[schild]

I have never seen a Goth play fantasy league baseball or teach Sunday School.

Many do, and you wouldn't know it.

Goth isn't a fashion statement.

[stray]

I have never seen a Goth play fantasy league baseball or teach Sunday School.

Many do, and you wouldn't know it.

Goth isn't a fashion statement.

I'm probably one of them   

Well, sort of. I've always been "athletic" at least. I just never liked the culture that revolves around sports.

And besides, half of the people who are fanatical about sports totally suck when it comes to playing them. If I'm an "outsider" to those people, so be it.

I like Country Music, just as long as it's by someone who's either been to prison, sings about being in prison, sings at prison, or wears all black. And if none of the above, I still may give it a chance if I can hear some good guitar playing.

I've never taught Sunday school per se, but would like to. That counts for something, doesn't it?

[Strazos]

I got a 56%...I probably answered some stuff correctly by accident/guessing.

[Shockeye]

I like Country Music, just as long as it's by someone who's either been to prison, sings about being in prison, sings at prison, or wears all black. And if none of the above, I still may give it a chance if I can hear some good guitar playing.

I second that.

[Strazos]

I like country if it's by Shania Twain, mmhmmm.

[Shockeye]

I like country if it's by Shania Twain, mmhmmm.

That isn't country. She ain't nothin' but a glorified stripper.

[TheWalrus]

Gimme some ones!

[Shockeye]

You know you want it.

[Strazos]

If I wasn't saving money, I would have just bought that on sight.

Oh, how I wish high school Really Was like that.

[stray]

Buy this DVD with Saved by the Bell - Seasons 3 & 4 DVD ~ Elizabeth Berkley today!

It's funny how Berkley's name is the best way they could advertise it. I mean, was she that integral to the show? I seem to recall her not saying or doing much of anything. She was just tall, and stood behind everyone else.

[Strazos]

Naw, she was one of the main characters also, AC Slater's girlfriend, etc. She was probably the closest thing as a parallel to Screech (both smart, but she wasn't as "geeky").

[Shockeye]

Naw, she was one of the main characters also, AC Slater's girlfriend, etc. She was probably the closest thing as a parallel to Screech (both smart, but she wasn't as "geeky").

And thankfully Screech never took his clothes off in a movie.

[Alkiera]

She looks like a normal girl.  What's wrong with you people?

Normal girls fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?

I bet it's all those rouge-like games Avril plays.

Whoa, a woman without make-up, gross!!111!

  I agree with Signe.  No, she's not OMG teh hawtness, but she's not 150 lbs overweight and dressed like Luna either.

Alkiera

[voodoolily]

I like Country Music, just as long as it's by someone who's either been to prison, sings about being in prison, sings at prison, or wears all black. And if none of the above, I still may give it a chance if I can hear some good guitar playing.

So, pretty much just Johnny Cash? 

I scored a 47, but I am only peripherally "fairly goth". I hung out with the goths in high school just because they were also into LSD and Rifts. And I have a wicked skull collection. I pick up roadkill when I do field work. I also used to have a pet Madagascan hissing cockroach named Gregor Sampson (which I used to scare an actual goth at a Halloween party once). Being a scientist is way more hardcore than being goth.

[HaemishM]

I like Country Music, just as long as it's by someone who's either been to prison, sings about being in prison, sings at prison, or wears all black. And if none of the above, I still may give it a chance if I can hear some good guitar playing.

I second that.

The only problem with that is it misses George Jones, I think. And one cannot dismiss George Jones when talking about good country music.