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Author Topic: At least Evangelicals' have nice closets.  (Read 8105 times)
tazelbain
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tazelbain


on: February 06, 2007, 08:19:45 AM


"Me am play gods"
Ironwood
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Reply #1 on: February 06, 2007, 08:34:09 AM

You know, that made me laugh so very much.

But it's not funny.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Calantus
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Reply #2 on: February 06, 2007, 08:39:07 AM

I disagree, the addition of "completely" is hysterical.
Nebu
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Reply #3 on: February 06, 2007, 08:39:54 AM

It amazes me that someone can spend so much time reading the Bible and still completely miss the message. 

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Evangolis
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Reply #4 on: February 06, 2007, 08:41:41 AM

I'd like to announce that I am once again in the closet.  Thank you.

"It was a difficult party" - an unexpected word combination from ex-Merry Prankster and author Robert Stone.
tazelbain
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tazelbain


Reply #5 on: February 06, 2007, 08:48:03 AM

No, its very funny.  I feel for someone with a sex addiction problem.  Haggard isn't someone.  He got his hand caught in the wrong cookie jar and is now saying the "Devil made me do it."

"Me am play gods"
Sky
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Reply #6 on: February 06, 2007, 08:54:46 AM

Quote
It was the acting-out situations where things took place
Umm...ok.
HaemishM
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Reply #7 on: February 06, 2007, 09:55:34 AM

Remember, it's only gay if you're receiving.

Morat20
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Reply #8 on: February 06, 2007, 10:04:27 AM

Fundie-to-English translation: "Haggard now 'much pickier' about male hookers he frequents".
Lantyssa
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Reply #9 on: February 06, 2007, 10:08:00 AM

It is laughable.  And sad.

Maybe he'll figure it out when everything resurfaces in a few years and makes his life even more miserable.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Paelos
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Reply #10 on: February 06, 2007, 10:51:22 AM

Sadly, I've seen this kind of thing happen before in my childhood church. Not the gay thing, but the crazy odd affair thing. The minister of our 5000+ member church in a ritzy suburb of Dallas, TX got busted by the congregation having an affair with his secretary in the actual church building.

He was of course disgraced and removed, and left the city after a very one-sided settlement in favor of his wife, obviously. The sad part was that his son was my age, and I got to see first hand what it's like to watch someone completely lose respect for your father in one day. It made me think how horrible it would be to find something like that out about my father, and how socially devestating it was. I tried to rally around him as best I could, but children, regardless of church groupings, are still terribly cruel. He had to leave most of his old friends behind a year after the incident.

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Engels
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Reply #11 on: February 06, 2007, 11:47:52 AM

Your tale points out the real irony behind this; that Haggard claims to be 'completely heterosexual' isn't the issue. He was adulterous. That, however, doesn't seem to matter, since even if he had had a random gay encounter, that's somehow not really being unfaithful :P

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

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Sky
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Reply #12 on: February 06, 2007, 12:01:45 PM

Maybe the meth will help him stay straight.
Ironwood
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Reply #13 on: February 06, 2007, 02:51:09 PM

Sadly, I've seen this kind of thing happen before in my childhood church. Not the gay thing, but the crazy odd affair thing. The minister of our 5000+ member church in a ritzy suburb of Dallas, TX got busted by the congregation having an affair with his secretary in the actual church building.

He was of course disgraced and removed, and left the city after a very one-sided settlement in favor of his wife, obviously. The sad part was that his son was my age, and I got to see first hand what it's like to watch someone completely lose respect for your father in one day. It made me think how horrible it would be to find something like that out about my father, and how socially devestating it was. I tried to rally around him as best I could, but children, regardless of church groupings, are still terribly cruel. He had to leave most of his old friends behind a year after the incident.


Irony Overload.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
tazelbain
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tazelbain


Reply #14 on: February 06, 2007, 03:10:03 PM

A piece on cnn says Haggard is being run out of town also.  So the "healing" can begin.  Can't really feel sorry for him, if it had been someone else, he'd have done the same to them.

"Me am play gods"
kaid
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Reply #15 on: February 06, 2007, 04:07:13 PM

I guess it goes to show that people who live in glass houses should not fuck their gay massuse while doing meth.


or something
Der Helm
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Reply #16 on: February 06, 2007, 05:39:59 PM

Remember, it's only gay if you're receiving.

Hey, it worked in ancient greece.

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Margalis
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Reply #17 on: February 06, 2007, 07:45:32 PM

Hey, he spent three weeks in rehab...if anything that's overkill!

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
Lantyssa
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Reply #18 on: February 07, 2007, 09:36:04 AM

Gay is much more addicting that drugs or alcohol.  It's why all the fundies are more concerned about their children catching it than dealing with other social issues.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Paelos
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Reply #19 on: February 07, 2007, 10:49:45 AM

Gay is much more addicting that drugs or alcohol.  It's why all the fundies are more concerned about their children catching it than dealing with other social issues.

I hear you can get it from flashy clothes and drinks with little hats now.

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Der Helm
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Reply #20 on: February 07, 2007, 10:56:02 AM

Gay is much more addicting that drugs or alcohol.  It's why all the fundies are more concerned about their children catching it than dealing with other social issues.

I hear you can get it from flashy clothes and drinks with little hats now.
I thought they were part of the symptoms.

On the other hand. I do not think that I am gay.


"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
sinij
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WWW
Reply #21 on: February 07, 2007, 02:41:14 PM

On the other hand. I do not think that I am gay.

You are still going to hell.

Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.
Jayce
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Reply #22 on: February 07, 2007, 03:46:28 PM

Sadly, I've seen this kind of thing happen before in my childhood church. Not the gay thing, but the crazy odd affair thing. The minister of our 5000+ member church in a ritzy suburb of Dallas, TX got busted by the congregation having an affair with his secretary in the actual church building.

He was of course disgraced and removed, and left the city after a very one-sided settlement in favor of his wife, obviously. The sad part was that his son was my age, and I got to see first hand what it's like to watch someone completely lose respect for your father in one day. It made me think how horrible it would be to find something like that out about my father, and how socially devestating it was. I tried to rally around him as best I could, but children, regardless of church groupings, are still terribly cruel. He had to leave most of his old friends behind a year after the incident.

To me, the sad thing is that people can talk a good game about forgiveness, then something like that happens and it's "get out of town, ya worthless waste of humanity".

My definition of Christiantiy states that there is in fact no such thing as a worthless human being.  That's the real test of faith. God's easy. :)

Witty banter not included.
Margalis
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Reply #23 on: February 07, 2007, 05:09:02 PM

Funny if you turn it around - could 3 weeks of intensive therapy make a straight man gay?

I'm guessing no.

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
Paelos
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Reply #24 on: February 07, 2007, 10:05:43 PM

Sadly, I've seen this kind of thing happen before in my childhood church. Not the gay thing, but the crazy odd affair thing. The minister of our 5000+ member church in a ritzy suburb of Dallas, TX got busted by the congregation having an affair with his secretary in the actual church building.

He was of course disgraced and removed, and left the city after a very one-sided settlement in favor of his wife, obviously. The sad part was that his son was my age, and I got to see first hand what it's like to watch someone completely lose respect for your father in one day. It made me think how horrible it would be to find something like that out about my father, and how socially devestating it was. I tried to rally around him as best I could, but children, regardless of church groupings, are still terribly cruel. He had to leave most of his old friends behind a year after the incident.

To me, the sad thing is that people can talk a good game about forgiveness, then something like that happens and it's "get out of town, ya worthless waste of humanity".

My definition of Christiantiy states that there is in fact no such thing as a worthless human being.  That's the real test of faith. God's easy. :)


I agree with you if the people involved want to be forgiven. The preacher in question didn't, and instead basically left his family to marry this other woman he was having an affair with. The son was left to basically hold his own with no father, and I'm sure his mother lost her trust in men and the church for a while if not ever. Sin has consequences, and they affect others around you as much as yourself in a lot of cases. Do we judge him and say he's a tossaway human being? No, but you don't make "right" the situation by marrying the woman you were having an affair with. At some point you have to own up to the fact you've done something horribly wrong to the people you were supposed to protect, and you have to make amends and reject your sins for forgiveness.

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Ironwood
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Reply #25 on: February 08, 2007, 01:31:17 AM

Your religion makes my head assplode.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Ironwood
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Reply #26 on: February 08, 2007, 05:14:13 AM


"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Murgos
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Reply #27 on: February 08, 2007, 06:45:52 AM

I agree with you if the people involved want to be forgiven. The preacher in question didn't, and instead basically left his family to marry this other woman he was having an affair with. The son was left to basically hold his own with no father, and I'm sure his mother lost her trust in men and the church for a while if not ever. Sin has consequences, and they affect others around you as much as yourself in a lot of cases. Do we judge him and say he's a tossaway human being? No, but you don't make "right" the situation by marrying the woman you were having an affair with. At some point you have to own up to the fact you've done something horribly wrong to the people you were supposed to protect, and you have to make amends and reject your sins for forgiveness.

Or maybe if your religion had been more forgiving of him and accepted the fact that the 'new' woman made him (and her, she's a person too) happy the boy could have still held a good relationship with his father and the mom would have been able to move on to someone who appreciated her without the stigma of being a spurned woman ruining her life.  Because then, you know everyone might have been ok.

Whatever.


"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
WayAbvPar
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Reply #28 on: February 08, 2007, 09:24:15 AM


Quote
"It's true. I saw that press conference where reporters tempted him by waving a bunch of meth-covered cocks in his face, and he didn't even flinch."

That may be the funniest thing the Onion has ever written. OMG.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

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Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #29 on: February 08, 2007, 10:09:58 AM

I agree with you if the people involved want to be forgiven. The preacher in question didn't, and instead basically left his family to marry this other woman he was having an affair with. The son was left to basically hold his own with no father, and I'm sure his mother lost her trust in men and the church for a while if not ever. Sin has consequences, and they affect others around you as much as yourself in a lot of cases. Do we judge him and say he's a tossaway human being? No, but you don't make "right" the situation by marrying the woman you were having an affair with. At some point you have to own up to the fact you've done something horribly wrong to the people you were supposed to protect, and you have to make amends and reject your sins for forgiveness.

Or maybe if your religion had been more forgiving of him and accepted the fact that the 'new' woman made him (and her, she's a person too) happy the boy could have still held a good relationship with his father and the mom would have been able to move on to someone who appreciated her without the stigma of being a spurned woman ruining her life.  Because then, you know everyone might have been ok.

Whatever.



I won't go into the point much further but not many groups accept extramarital affairs like that in their leaders without repercussions, churches or not. Also, the conclusion that everyone would be better off internally in the family is a stretch. Wounds like that don't heal well or easily without a lot of repentance. What you suggest is not accepting that you did something wrong, that's rationalizing it. If marriage holds so little value for the people (ie. oh well just do what makes you happy), it's just another moral slide I'm glad the church is trying to rally against.

Yeah, it's not the worldly view, and yeah it's tougher. However, I think the congregation would have been a lot more forgiving if he'd said, "I'm sorry, I messed up, please forgive me," just once. But instead we get the new American way of thinking that nothing is my fault, and I can rationalize all my problems away.

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Murgos
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Reply #30 on: February 08, 2007, 11:03:55 AM

Better than you made your bed now lie in it and suffer for the next 50 years, old way of thinking.

Marriage is fine institution, very noble, but when it's an untenable relationship it's a damned miserable experience.  Has zero to do with rationalizing away responsibility and everything to do with not realizing that somethings just are mistakes and the sooner they are corrected the better everyone will be.

"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
Paelos
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Reply #31 on: February 08, 2007, 02:59:54 PM

Better than you made your bed now lie in it and suffer for the next 50 years, old way of thinking.

Marriage is fine institution, very noble, but when it's an untenable relationship it's a damned miserable experience.  Has zero to do with rationalizing away responsibility and everything to do with not realizing that somethings just are mistakes and the sooner they are corrected the better everyone will be.

Totally agreed, and I'm not against divorce when two people can't make it work for the sake of sanity. I am against sleeping with someone else because you're unhappy. The rationalization isn't about the fact the relationship wasn't working. It's about the fact he was banging his secretary IN THE CHURCH, to top it off.

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WayAbvPar
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Reply #32 on: February 08, 2007, 03:02:34 PM

His wife was probably home...he couldn't very well do it there! And sex in the back of a Volkswagen isn't terribly comfortable, or so I am told.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Jayce
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Reply #33 on: February 08, 2007, 06:20:53 PM


I agree with you if the people involved want to be forgiven.

At the risk of driving this thread to the Politics forum (which I avoid for my blood pressure's sake), my opinion is that it comes down to hating the sin while loving the sinner.  Jesus didn't say to forgive those who sin against you ONLY IF they ask for it, he said to just forgive them.

Quote from: Murgos
Or maybe if your religion had been more forgiving of him and accepted the fact that the 'new' woman made him (and her, she's a person too) happy the boy could have still held a good relationship with his father and the mom would have been able to move on to someone who appreciated her without the stigma of being a spurned woman ruining her life.  Because then, you know everyone might have been ok.

/agree.  This sounds like the definition of preemtive forgiveness to me.

On topic..  um... some people have said that the funniest word in the headline was "completely".  My favorite is "now".  "I used to be one of those homosexuals, but NOW I'm not."  See?  All it takes is some browbeating and national headlines, and he cleaned right up.

edit to quote Paelos more pertinently

Witty banter not included.
Calantus
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Reply #34 on: February 08, 2007, 08:08:23 PM

It's on.

The now is funny I'll admit, but the completely is hysterical. Yes, hysterical. Why? Because it's like they don't even want to admit he was homosexual or bisexual before. No, he was just almost completely heterosexual, and that small gay part of him made him get it on with a male hooker. But it's gone now, he's passed it, like a kidney stone.
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