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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Topic: Uwe Boll allowed to direct again? 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Uwe Boll allowed to direct again?  (Read 1818 times)
Furiously
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on: July 20, 2004, 08:04:37 AM

Prepare yourselves to talk about which was worse in several years, Bloodrayne or House of the Dead.

I'm just frightened that with the Interplay firesale going on, he might pick up a decent license.

I don't quite get how someone decided, hey - here is someone who would be good to invest some money in.

Oh god - he's gonna kill Alone in the Dark too.....

2002: Director and Producer of HOUSE OF THE DEAD
2003: Director and Producer of ALONE IN THE DARK
2004: Director and Producer of BLOODRAYNE

*edited to add the alone in the dark and timeline.

Alluvian
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Reply #1 on: July 20, 2004, 12:04:28 PM

I started to get annoyed at this, and then remembered that Serek Dmart is trying to get the Freespace name and my anger/annoyance priorities pretty much forgot about the maker of bad movies based on bad games.  This is just truth in advertising.

Maybe for the alone in the dark movie he will film the whole movie from tiny cameras hidden in corners behind plants or show us closeups of the monster's back.  Hell, even Uwe Boll can't do anything but improve the camera angles of that series of games.

And maybe Bloodrayne will put us to sleep with the lack of any original ideas and crappy effects.

Those would be some nice accurate, true to the source material movies.
daveNYC
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Reply #2 on: July 20, 2004, 12:49:40 PM

Quote from: Alluvian
And maybe Bloodrayne will put us to sleep with the lack of any original ideas and crappy effects.

That depends on who they put in the tight leather.  I'd stay awake for Monica Bellucci.
Furiously
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Reply #3 on: July 20, 2004, 01:01:57 PM

He's quoted as essentially saying, we wait until two weeks before filming to cast. That way we get actors for cheap!

daveNYC
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Reply #4 on: July 20, 2004, 01:13:30 PM

Quote from: Furiously
He's quoted as essentially saying, we wait until two weeks before filming to cast. That way we get actors for cheap!

And I'm sure they put that extra money into a good script.  Or maybe just coke and hookers.
Paelos
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Reply #5 on: July 20, 2004, 01:30:16 PM

Quote from: Furiously
He's quoted as essentially saying, we wait until two weeks before filming to cast. That way we get actors for cheap!


Uwe: Ok so your motivation is that you're big breasted and in tight leather, but you have to get away, so you pull some ripoff Matrix moves to attack your enemies while trying to suppress your rage that they've killed your unimportant lackey friends.

Actress: What kind of movie is this? Why am I in tight leather? What kind of name is Uwe?

Uwe: Check that, your motivation is you are a no talent hack in tight leather, but you need this job to keep yourself from doing handjobs at the local truckstop, so you keep those tits bouncing and your mouth closed until you see a paycheck before the production studios figure out what a shitty director I am.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
HaemishM
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Reply #6 on: July 26, 2004, 11:48:11 AM

Quote from: daveNYC
Quote from: Alluvian
And maybe Bloodrayne will put us to sleep with the lack of any original ideas and crappy effects.

That depends on who they put in the tight leather.  I'd stay awake for Monica Bellucci.


I'm not sure even the mind-blowing wonder that is Monica Bellucci's breasts could save anything Uwe is allowed to direct.

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