Useless Conversation

[calapine]

http://fuckedmysister.com


Click the link.   (No, really!)

[Cyrrex]

I know this isn't the Game of Thrones thread, but I want to rant for a second about websites that fucking put spoilers right on their main goddamn page.  Or near-spoilers.  May-as-well-be-spoilers.  I have not seen the latest episode, but almost every major site I open I have to quickly avert my eyes when I see a picture of a likely-now-dead character or a half of a spoilery headline.  And I am not talking about fansites, this is like CNN.com and that kind of shit. 

Fucking assholes.  When did the fine art of teasing this stuff out disappear?  It's not just GoT shit, they do this with damn near everything now.  I mean, am I the only one who cannot or will not watch everything the instant it goes live?  I don't know for a fact that any of these have been real spoilers, but I don't even want to get in the vicinity of them.  I already have a few theories based on literally milliseconds of corner-of-my-eye impressions from places like HuffPo and CNN.  Jesus Christ. 

[calapine]

1) Take a deep breath.

2) You are absolutely correct. Kind of annoying a an episode of a show is now an event. Some sense of proportion please.

[Cyrrex]

I tend to exaggerate my anger.

But yeah, I get why it is an event, but headlines like "see which very few of your favorite characters survived the massacre at Winterfell!" is a poorly chosen headline.  It is a spoiler.  And no, I didn't see one that read literally like that.  But close.  Out of the corner of my eye.  Idiots write these things.

[Teleku]

Yeah, I had the the ending of the episode spoiled for me via a random headline yesterday also.  Was rather angry.

[Rendakor]

I tend to exaggerate my anger.

But yeah, I get why it is an event, but headlines like "see which very few of your favorite characters survived the massacre at Winterfell!" is a poorly chosen headline.  It is a spoiler.  And no, I didn't see one that read literally like that.  But close.  Out of the corner of my eye.  Idiots write these things.

[Cyrrex]

As I said, it wasn't literally like that.  I didn't want to risk getting spoilery myself.

[Mandella]

I know this isn't the Game of Thrones thread, but I want to rant for a second about websites that fucking put spoilers right on their main goddamn page.  Or near-spoilers.  May-as-well-be-spoilers.  I have not seen the latest episode, but almost every major site I open I have to quickly avert my eyes when I see a picture of a likely-now-dead character or a half of a spoilery headline.  And I am not talking about fansites, this is like CNN.com and that kind of shit. 

Fucking assholes.  When did the fine art of teasing this stuff out disappear?  It's not just GoT shit, they do this with damn near everything now.  I mean, am I the only one who cannot or will not watch everything the instant it goes live?  I don't know for a fact that any of these have been real spoilers, but I don't even want to get in the vicinity of them.  I already have a few theories based on literally milliseconds of corner-of-my-eye impressions from places like HuffPo and CNN.  Jesus Christ. 

Preach it brother.

I've gotten to where I go into internet blackout if I haven't seen an episode when aired. And like you said it's not even trolls, but mainstream media and even well meaning folks posting "tributes" and shit.

Grumble grumble....

[Paelos]

I tend to exaggerate my anger.

But yeah, I get why it is an event, but headlines like "see which very few of your favorite characters survived the massacre at Winterfell!" is a poorly chosen headline.  It is a spoiler.  And no, I didn't see one that read literally like that.  But close.  Out of the corner of my eye.  Idiots write these things.

I felt that way about the Harry Potter books when they would come out. Like assholes speed reading the book in a day and then trying to ruin it for everyone.

[Rasix]

Or driving by a Border's screaming "Snape kills Dumbledore". I know some assholes find that fantastic, but that's just a terrible thing to do. Those people probably grow up to be /r/TheDonald regulars.

[Polysorbate80]

I despair of my boy ever understanding that pirates are inherently more awesome than ninjas; where have I gone wrong?

[Rendakor]

I despair of my boy ever understanding that pirates are inherently more awesome than ninjas; where have I gone wrong?

This website from the internet's ancient history disagrees with you.

I can't believe that site is still a thing.

[Samwise]

I despair of my boy ever understanding that pirates are inherently more awesome than ninjas; where have I gone wrong?

This website from the internet's ancient history disagrees with you.

I can't believe that site is still a thing.

I was konmari'ing my bookshelf a couple of months ago and found a copy of that book.  Hopefully somebody our age encounters it at Goodwill and it gives them a delightful moment of nostalgia.

[Paelos]

I despair of my boy ever understanding that pirates are inherently more awesome than ninjas; where have I gone wrong?

Not enough trips to the Caribbean obviously.

[Polysorbate80]

I think maybe it’s because he’s only 10 and I can’t point out certain benefits of piracy like wenches or on-the-job drinking 

[ezrast]

I came down on the pro-ninja side myself in my younger days, but now that I've matured and grown as a person I realize the whole argument is pedestrian because obviously vikings are the sweetest.

[Chimpy]

When people talk about pirates vs ninjas I always wonder why ninja pirates are ignored?

I mean, there was Chris the Ninja Pirate in the Adventures of Weebil and Bob, there must be others around somewhere.

[Polysorbate80]

But really, what ARE vikings but proto-pirates without guns or the Jolly Roger?

The whole concept of ninja - exercise, diet, training, cleanliness, hiding one's identity -- these are antithetical to the pirate lifestyle 

[Samwise]

Three words: Dread Pirate Roberts.

[Polysorbate80]

There's always one person ruining it for everyone else...

[Samwise]

There's also the historical example of Bartholomew Roberts (where the Dread Pirate most likely got his name from), the prototypical "gentleman pirate".  He was known for wearing fancy clothes into battle, drinking tea instead of rum, and treating his captives with courtesy.

Our ship was mighty as a sloop could be
Over four hundred vessels plundered we
With our sacks full of biscuits we'd return to the sea
Our jolly roger blowing proud and free
After Roberts robbed a vessel of its prize
He'd return the ship to its captain's sorry eyes
Never questioned any man's disguise
He followed the Sabbath as he followed the sky
Roberts was a gentleman
Drank his tea from an old tin can
Never touched a bottle kept a clean ship and
You'd never guess he was a pirate

- David Grossman

[Polysorbate80]

I suppose a loose code of "ethics" does allow for the possibility of some horrible non-savage "pirate."

.com and .net were taken by losers so I made robotpirateisland.org  There is a total of 1 (count 'em!) page.  Because simultaneously lazy and busy at work.

Typical non-helpful F13 suggestions may be consigned to the briny deep for ignoring at TheDreadPirate@robotpirateisland.org. 

I will fart around with this for a while, eventually forget it's there, and most likely cancel next year when I get the bill on my credit card and wonder WTF it's even for.

[schild]

what the hell is going on

[Khaldun]

I dunno why monks never get a vote in this. Brew beer, preserve knowledge, illustrate books, have illicit sex with nuns, live in amazing buildings, be incredibly disciplined, get by with eating two pea pods a day. Except for the part about vikings coming and burning your shit down, that doesn't seem so fun.

[Chimpy]

As a guy with a natural tonsure, monks don't get a vote because the tonsure is ridiculous and no one likes it. 

[Teleku]

Three words: Dread Pirate Roberts.

I put forward the notion the Dread Pirate Roberts acted far more like a Ninja in the movie than a pirate.

[Polysorbate80]

As a guy with a natural tonsure, monks don't get a vote because the tonsure is ridiculous and no one likes it. 

That’s why I shave my head now 

[Polysorbate80]

I dunno why monks never get a vote in this. Brew beer, preserve knowledge, illustrate books, have illicit sex with nuns, live in amazing buildings, be incredibly disciplined, get by with eating two pea pods a day. Except for the part about vikings coming and burning your shit down, that doesn't seem so fun.

Too many of those things are productive and stink of actual work for some of us...

Edit: if you get bored and get time throw together a guest-editorial or something.  I’ll post it; might as well do some goddamn thing with an entire website I’ve prepaid for at least a year.  Plus if it strikes any blows against ninja it’s a win.

[Yegolev]

There's also the historical example of Bartholomew Roberts (where the Dread Pirate most likely got his name from), the prototypical "gentleman pirate".  He was known for wearing fancy clothes into battle, drinking tea instead of rum, and treating his captives with courtesy.

This archetype is what I aim for with my costume. I had originally considered Capitaine Chevalle from At World's End but I can barely speak with a generic pirate accent, so a French one was just not going to happen. Also I wasn't sure I wanted to wear makeup and a wig. Wigs are fucking hot.

[Paelos]

what the hell is going on

We're contemplating piracy as a career choice.

[schild]

oh

ya'll ain't cut out for that shit

[Samwise]

iamthecaptainnow.gif

I dunno why monks never get a vote in this. Brew beer, preserve knowledge, illustrate books, have illicit sex with nuns, live in amazing buildings, be incredibly disciplined, get by with eating two pea pods a day. Except for the part about vikings coming and burning your shit down, that doesn't seem so fun.

By the transitive property of pwnage, I think you just cast your vote for the Viking camp.

[Sky]

fuck all yall, I'll take landed English nobility thanks

[Polysorbate80]

iamthecaptainnow.gif

I dunno why monks never get a vote in this. Brew beer, preserve knowledge, illustrate books, have illicit sex with nuns, live in amazing buildings, be incredibly disciplined, get by with eating two pea pods a day. Except for the part about vikings coming and burning your shit down, that doesn't seem so fun.

By the transitive property of pwnage, I think you just cast your vote for the Viking camp.

The church “counterattacked” by eventually converting them, didn’t they?  So who really counts as “winners?”

[justdave]

I want to be the bottom squirrel....

But the middle one is, categorically, the happiest, tho.