Useless Conversation

[Cyrrex]

I dunno.  I have been that guy before (minus the spring break practices and the emails), you unless you have tried it you have no idea how annoying it is, nor how it affects the kids that DO show up.  A lot of parents give zero shits and don't think about it beyond their precious little Billy.  Sounds like this guy just had enough.  I can totally relate.  It is highly likely that many of the parents subject to that mail are inconsiderate shitheads who deserved the scolding.  As long as he doesn't then go to the same extent with the kids themselves.

[Ironwood]

Put me in the camp of 'Fuck Sake, give the guy some fucking notice assholes' too.  Sounds like he's trying his best for the kids and, sure, it may just be ego and P/A on his part, but the end result is for the kids and it isn't really fair for that shit to happen.

That said, there are better ways to handle it.

One thing I'll ask is :  Does he have kids ?  Because if not, he may not realize how fucking mental it can get trying to get a kid that young out the fucking door.  I wouldn't bitch at them for being late.  Getting Elena to Dancing, Swimming or TKD is always a pain in the dick and we're usually a couple of minutes late due to her being a Monkees Fan.

[Merusk]

Soccer is a team sport and parents that no show are affecting more than themselves.  Most are too self centered to realize this.

However it's AYSO not a specialty team or a select league so the guy should chill a bit.  Plus, fuck coaches who are also so self centered or unaware as to start practices before the work day ends or right as the "whistle" blows.  6 is the earliest reasonable time because families have two workers these days.

So I'm on the side of coach being an ass, but I get why he's frustrated.

[Cyrrex]

Unless you know specifically, don't assume the guy has that much choice in terms of practice time.  When I have done this myself as a coach (rather many season by this point), you either get assigned a time or you have go through a mad scramble to sign up for the best time at the best location (and people cheat this like a motherfucker).  Inevitably half of the times are well before 5 o'clock.  I have had teams where all the kids from the same year are all practicing before 4 o'clock, no choice given.

[Paelos]

I've coached soccer for kids up to 8 years old before. Dude is being a whiny bitch about people not showing up.

If you're holding one practice a week and people don't show? Fine. If you're holding 2-3 a week for kids that aren't even in middle school? You're crazy unless it's a travel league.

You know what happens when three people show? You do 1-on-1 drills with a keeper, then you rotate kids. Then you do crossing drills. Then you do dribble drills in the 20 yard box across and back with tradeoffs at each end. Then you do triangle passes. Soccer can literally be practiced with two people, let alone three.

[Xanthippe]

He's upset because people are ditching practice over Spring Break for a noncompetitive league for 10 year olds? That's his fault for scheduling practice for Spring Break.

That's his problem, not yours. Don't let him get to you. If he's not containing his feelings to just the parents and it's bleeding over to the kids, that's your problem.

Some people take sports way too seriously. I get it for high school sports. I get it for junior high/middle school sports. Before that? I don't get it. The dude needs to chill out, he's doing it wrong.

[Paelos]

Too many coaches for kids (and worse parents for kids) think that anything short of running a full-level competition is "everyone gets a trophy hippy bullshit"

I told many parents with 7 year olds, it doesn't matter what your win/loss record is in third grade. Even Ronaldo didn't start truly competitive league until age 8, and he's one of the greatest players in the world. Unless you think your kid is going to be the next world stunner, why is he playing in a YMCA league?

[Maven]

I think I get where Ab is coming from. His letter's tone was negative. He could have communicated the issue more professionally instead of infusing his anger in the e-mail. His intent seemed to make the parents guilty though maybe more voice his emotions.

[Lantyssa]

What Xan said.

These are kids.  Young kids.  If he was that concerned about it, he should have sent out an e-mail stating he intended to hold practice over Spring Break for those that wanted to participate.

And if he feels it's some obligation instead of something he wants to do for his own kid, then he shouldn't be coach.

[Nebu]

You know what ruins sports for young kids? 

Parents. 

[Paelos]

You know what ruins sports for young kids? 

Parents. 

Yep.

[WayAbvPar]

Put me in the camp of 'Fuck Sake, give the guy some fucking notice assholes' too.  Sounds like he's trying his best for the kids and, sure, it may just be ego and P/A on his part, but the end result is for the kids and it isn't really fair for that shit to happen.

That said, there are better ways to handle it.

One thing I'll ask is :  Does he have kids ?  Because if not, he may not realize how fucking mental it can get trying to get a kid that young out the fucking door.  I wouldn't bitch at them for being late.  Getting Elena to Dancing, Swimming or TKD is always a pain in the dick and we're usually a couple of minutes late due to her being a Monkees Fan.

Although I could reason out that this was probably common, it is good to hear that other (seemingly normal, intelligent) parents have the same trials that my wife and I do. And we have 2 of them 

[Cyrrex]

Are there kids that aren't a total pain in the ass to get out the door for anything?  I have never met those kids.  I have three of the regular kind.

[Merusk]

I always just added time so we'd leave earlier, then hauled their asses to the car.  I'm not a kind father.

[Rasix]

My son likes to goof around and practice before games/practice, so we're always early as all hell (at least I am, my wife is always late).  This fun for the 8am basketball games.  Then again, I only have one, so it's not so bad.  One of the kids on his team forgot to wear shorts under her basketball jersey and had to sit out the first 3 quarters.  They have 6 kids, so I can see that happening.  I'm amazed they've only missed one game/practice.  

That coach needs to communicate better and more often.  If it's going to be a week where you expect kids to miss practice, communicate that you are having practice.  Parents should say when they're going to miss games, but practice, IMO, is another matter (unless you're on a competitive team).   Practices are held during the work week and usually at terrible times.  Kids miss practice for a multitude of reasons.  A text/e-mail would be nice, but eh, when it's an uncompetitive rec league, I don't think as a coach you should expect it.

Youth sports so far has been a hoot.  It was kind of crappy when he was 4, mainly because my son is tiny and got upset easily.  It's been another thing at 5.  He seems to really get it.  He's small so he's somewhat restricted what he can do against the bigger kids and the hoop is too high, as they're limited as to what's available at the local schools for practice.  But, he's got a hell of a motor and loves watching pro/college sports so he's understanding the sports a lot better that the other kids.  Of course, being an standout player in the suburbs still means the inner city kids wreck you at every occasion.

edit:

Heh, at 5-6 years old it's still at the point where literally half of the kids have no idea how to play at a basic level and spend most of the games/practices kind of farting around aimlessly.  And that's perfectly fine.  I wasn't worth a damn at any sport until I was around 10 (I was really, really tiny).

[Paelos]

I started playing serious soccer at age 12 when I committed to staying as a goalkeeper in 6th grade. Before that? I would literally fuck around with like 4 sports (basketball, baseball, soccer, and swimming). Nothing was taken very seriously until middle school.

Some parents started their kids much earlier. Some parents beat it into their kids to be the best. I beat all those kids out for a position and ended up captaining my team even as a 5'9" short keeper. Because it doesn't really matter at the end of the day how hard you drive your untalented child. It matters if you have talent and if you love the game. Starting earlier doesn't suddenly create talent. If anything it turns them off the game when the parents pressure them into oblivion.

Before age 12 I think kids should play everything and find something they really like. But try it all. I even tried football, although I thought it was total bullshit. I still played a season. I played golf, hockey, and bowling too, even though I was terrible at them. But I learned I was terrible and moved on.

[Abagadro]

To be clear I get his beef but the tone, passive aggressive canceling of a week of practice and martyr complex seem way disproportionate.

[Sky]

To be clear I get his beef but the tone, passive aggressive canceling of a week of practice and martyr complex seem way disproportionate.

Don't forget avoiding any blame in the situation and how he contributed to setting up the situation to play out that way, knowingly or not. But hey, responsibility is a bitch.

[Ironwood]

To be clear I get his beef but the tone, passive aggressive canceling of a week of practice and martyr complex seem way disproportionate.

No argument there.

[Yegolev]

One thing I'll ask is :  Does he have kids ?  Because if not, he may not realize how fucking mental it can get trying to get a kid that young out the fucking door.  I wouldn't bitch at them for being late.  Getting Elena to Dancing, Swimming or TKD is always a pain in the dick and we're usually a couple of minutes late due to her being a Monkees Fan.

Although I could reason out that this was probably common, it is good to hear that other (seemingly normal, intelligent) parents have the same trials that my wife and I do. And we have 2 of them 

You're not alone.  It's how the world is now.  I'm somewhat intrigued that this also happens in whatever neighborhood the rich people of Glasgow live in.

The real question that floats through my head is: why are we compelled to do this to ourselves?  My wife proceeded to sign up our son for after-school activities on four of the five week days, plus Scouts on Sunday, and then moaned about it FOR MONTHS. Why?

[Signe]

The rich people of Glasgow live in Aberdeen.

[Cyrrex]

One thing I'll ask is :  Does he have kids ?  Because if not, he may not realize how fucking mental it can get trying to get a kid that young out the fucking door.  I wouldn't bitch at them for being late.  Getting Elena to Dancing, Swimming or TKD is always a pain in the dick and we're usually a couple of minutes late due to her being a Monkees Fan.

Although I could reason out that this was probably common, it is good to hear that other (seemingly normal, intelligent) parents have the same trials that my wife and I do. And we have 2 of them 

You're not alone.  It's how the world is now.  I'm somewhat intrigued that this also happens in whatever neighborhood the rich people of Glasgow live in.

The real question that floats through my head is: why are we compelled to do this to ourselves?  My wife proceeded to sign up our son for after-school activities on four of the five week days, plus Scouts on Sunday, and then moaned about it FOR MONTHS. Why?

Yeah, this.  It is a strange shift from when I was a kid, and I think it is some kind of Boomer vs. GenX thing.  The Boomers put themselves before their kids, where the Xers live through their kids.  It's like we are compensating, or something.

[Ironwood]

The rich people of Glasgow live in Aberdeen.

 

[Paelos]

Rain is here early this year in Georgia. I usually don't expect it until later in April. We're getting it all week.

[Yegolev]

More rain, less pollen.  I like it.

[Rasix]

Bees are coming back.  YAY.  The bee removal guys promised my wife on the phone that there was a guarantee when we got it done as we wanted to cancel after we found out how much it was going to be compared to other places (that eventually called back).    
Now we can see that in the stack of paperwork they gave us that there's no date on the invoice and no mention of any guarantee on the workmanship and some odd phrase about resealing within 24 hours even though they never mentioned it.  

I hope they'll enjoy the mountain of complaints that someone who knows how to navigate local and federal bureaucracy can levy at them.  

Anyhow, at least I know to research contractors better even if there's a swarm of something nasty attacking my house.  Or perhaps just hide inside for a bit and not have to deal with some guy taking advantage of it being the weekend and the southwest having its highest bee activity ever.

[schild]

Shamelessly stolen from Reddit, and totally awesome:

http://www.crispian.net/PTIR/Nonsense.html

[WayAbvPar]

Ha that is awesome.

[Rendakor]

I wholeheartedly approve.

[Furiously]

Ha that is awesome.

Even element 12???

[schild]

lol

[HaemishM]

Fruit-loop block. Win.

[IainC]

Took photos of a band at a concert in Madrid last year and now they want to use one of my photos for the liner of their new CD. That was pretty cool news to wake up to. Band is called Organic and they are Depeche Mode-y, early Sisters-y post punk electronica.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhG1FRoUWng&feature=youtu.be

[Xanthippe]

Yeah, this.  It is a strange shift from when I was a kid, and I think it is some kind of Boomer vs. GenX thing.  The Boomers put themselves before their kids, where the Xers live through their kids.  It's like we are compensating, or something.

I'm not sure I'd characterize Boomers' child rearing as putting themselves before their kids so much as more along the lines of benign neglect. Kids used to entertain themselves (for better or worse) far more due to unscheduled time after school.

[Merusk]

Helicopter Parenting and use of the term "Free Range Children" as a derogatory are Gen-X things. They are the worst part of my generation.