Useless Conversation

[Paelos]

So I'm calling that on the 'could be a lot worse' spectrum. Thankfully, my son has decided to make ALL THE BAD DECISIONS IN THE WORLD to take my mind off of minor issues like my brother's health. If you imagine me mentally strangling him for at least the next year, you're not off the mark. For starters, he now owes me 3k. And I AM going to collect. 200 bucks a month for the next 18, 'cause if I'm going to be a bank I'm charging interest.

Who did he knock up and then run a car into for that kind of money?

[NowhereMan]

Lose the whole lung, possibly. You can get by with just one.

Don't know if this helps or not but my dad lost functionality in one of his lungs for a few months after an operation that managed to clip a nerve in his chest. It wasn't nice operating with only on (unsurprisingly physical activity becomes much more demanding) but it didn't seriously impact his quality of life. I guess as long as your brother isn't a super keen athlete, it sounds like he's got a reasonable chance of coming out of this in decent shape. Thoughts are with you and I guess you can thank your son for keeping your mind off things in like 10 years when he's paid you back fully 

[Morat20]

Who did he knock up and then run a car into for that kind of money?

He decided part of house sitting his grand parents place was to just totally gouge the crap out of their very nice, very expensive, hardwood floor. And not like in one spot that might be fixable in place.

It's a really impressive piece of work, really. The usual story..people over who shouldn't, stupid hijinks, etc. The fallout is pretty epic. Still, my kid. So I gotta make it right to them.

Thank God I'm ocd about debts, rainy day funds and stuff.

[Yegolev]

I don't really know where to put this.  My wife is sure that people without medical insurance are given substandard treatment at best, due to the facility not being sure that they will be paid.  While this is entirely believable, I wanted to ask anyone who might know about this if it is true, or to what degree this is done?

[Pennilenko]

I don't really know where to put this.  My wife is sure that people without medical insurance are given substandard treatment at best, due to the facility not being sure that they will be paid.  While this is entirely believable, I wanted to ask anyone who might know about this if it is true, or to what degree this is done?

I can easily imagine that happening, but isn't that against the law?

[Ard]

It is, if it's a hospital.  It's something my wife keeps bumping into as a nurse with wanting to toss freeloaders out who are just milking the hopsital long after they're done since they'll already be going bankrupt anyhow.  That however meets with the harsh reality that she has to treat them like everyone else and just moves on and does so.

[HaemishM]

People without medical insurance will get turned away from doctors when trying to make an appointment, that is a fact. I imagine anyone that treats someone without medical insurance might cast a stink eye those who lack insurance, but I don't expect there'll be deliberate shitty treatment. I will say that going to the emergency room for real treatment, especially without insurance, means you will get the bare minimum of care and most of it will be purely palliative. "Stitch them up and move them out."

[Mazakiel]

When I was self-employed, I didn't have insurance outside of emergency room coverage, and paid everything with cash out of pocket.  Most of the time I had no issue getting appointments with doctors, except for one time with a specialist that needed approval from the office manager.  I was never given the stink eye or anything, and was usually told they were giving me a discount compared to what they billed the insurance companies since I was paying cash.  While I doubt that was entirely true, at the end of the day, I had no problem getting treatment. 

Hospitals, though, are a completely different matter entirely.  My wife had to do the emergency room twice a few years back before we were married, and there was uncertainty if her insurance was valid since it was from her parents and was a state health plan for another state.  She definitely received bare-minimum/sub-par care.  They kept her from dying, but did so with little effort and shoved her out the door quick.  My gut feeling has always been that if they knew she had insurance that would cover it, they'd have given her better care the first time and she'd not have had to go back a month later.  The insurance company did end up covering it all, but my wife's still pretty bitter about the whole experience to this day. 

[Khaldun]

I noticed a pretty stark difference even with my doctor when I moved from PPO plan, which got priced out of existence, to my employer's HMO plan. PPO she'd spend as much time as I needed; HMO there's no doubt I'm on a clock--hurry up and get out. Same bedside manner, more or less, just palpably less time for diagnosis and questions.

[naum]

I don't really know where to put this.  My wife is sure that people without medical insurance are given substandard treatment at best, due to the facility not being sure that they will be paid.  While this is entirely believable, I wanted to ask anyone who might know about this if it is true, or to what degree this is done?

It's not that they're going to get "substandard treatment" so much as only the urgent life-threatening/critical stuff is going to be ameliorated, and then getting followup or concluding treatment is going to be a huge hurdle for someone without insurance.

For example, a friend had his intestines burst open, went to ER and they patched him up, with a colostomy bag, but refused to do any followup or the subsequent surgery until he paid his hospital bill. Because if it's not life threatening, they are not required to give treatment. So he mostly ducked out of public for like a year, because the chore of having to empty a bag out of his gut every time he had to remove waste was burdensome and shameful for him. Until his dad & friends kicked in enough money so he could go to Mexico (he considered India too) and get the necessary surgery for ~5K as opposed to 25-30K in Arizona.

[Paelos]

So my phone died. Now I have to figure out my contacts since I didn't save all of them.

[Trippy]

Are they in "the cloud"?

[Rasix]

The private school we are considering for my son has a 40% immunization rate.    Fucking stupid rich Tucson hippies.

[Lantyssa]

I wonder what their autism rates are.

[Rasix]

Near zero! It's working!

We sent an email to the admission coordinator 2 weeks ago asking about the rates. We ended up finding this information out from the local NPR station.

I really don't think I'd get along with 60% of the parents there.

[Yegolev]

I really don't think I'd get along with 60% of the parents there.

Welcome to private school parenthood.  There are several that we do not get along with, but we have found several that we do.  Generally these are people that own their own business or talented programmer introverts.  Not that guy who runs a mortgage business, though.  Good luck in finding the right school.

[Paelos]

Are they in "the cloud"?

Might as well be in my butt.

[Abagadro]

Oh dear god I have to go into work tomorrow after being totally out of contact for 8 days.  Can't wait to find the shit piled up in my inbox.

[Paelos]

Oh dear god I have to go into work tomorrow after being totally out of contact for 8 days.  Can't wait to find the shit piled up in my inbox.

My old boss used to come in after a vacation, take everything in his inbox for the last week, and throw it in the garbage.

When I asked why, he said if it was important they'd send it again.

[Yegolev]

Hah.

[Rasix]

The private school we are considering for my son has a 40% immunization rate.     Fucking stupid rich Tucson hippies.

Never mind, it's actually worse. 30.4% with a 69.6% personal exemption rate.  The only worse school is one that services the polygamist compounds in Colorado City.  

I love their curriculum and approach (past 3rd, before then they're too slow academically), but damn.  I'm not sure I can be cool with this. That's a lot of concentrated ignorance.  I imagine I'll find a jeep with a chemtrails bumper sticker on it somewhere in their parking lot.

[Ingmar]

Why private school in the first place?

[Nebu]

Why private school in the first place?

More parental involvement among the student body.  More 1-on-1 time between teacher and student.  Generally fewer shitty teachers because they can be fired easily.  More focus on college entrance.

My daughter went to a private school from grade 8-12 and had she gone to a public school, she likely would have become a dropout and a statistic.  While I don't necessarily believe that a private is better than a public in a good district, I feel that the level of student support was better and most of the parents were invested in the program.

[Khaldun]

Generally I'd say that there are fewer shitty teachers not so much because they can be gotten rid of, but because the pay is often better (sometimes strikingly better) in privates plus teachers generally have a lot more autonomy to teach their subjects in creative or inspiring ways, so it attracts some really gifted teachers.

[HaemishM]

Generally I'd say that there are fewer shitty teachers not so much because they can be gotten rid of, but because the pay is often better (sometimes strikingly better) in privates

I'm pretty sure that's not even remotely universally true in the US. It will entirely depend on where you are and usually the more expensive privates will be in the richer areas, which usually have the better public schools precisely because the area is richer.

[Khaldun]

Generally I'd say that there are fewer shitty teachers not so much because they can be gotten rid of, but because the pay is often better (sometimes strikingly better) in privates

I'm pretty sure that's not even remotely universally true in the US. It will entirely depend on where you are and usually the more expensive privates will be in the richer areas, which usually have the better public schools precisely because the area is richer.

I think it's not true if you include parochial schools, but non-parochial privates really do pay better, generally. But then they tend only to be found in major urban areas and in wealthier suburbs--parochials are the most widely distributed type of private schools.

[Rasix]

Why private school in the first place?

Public education in Arizona is in a pretty bad place, and they're struggling heavily with the common core implementation.  The few good public schools we could take him to are around a 45 minute drive, but it's possible due to open enrollment. They're in the richer areas of the city.  If our new house actually ends up happening, we'll be a lot closer and that'd be less of an issue.

Also, we can afford it.  You visit these schools and it's readily apparent they are a better experience. They're vastly better funded.  There's arts and music programs that haven't been slashed.  There's less than 30+ kids in a class. There's teachers that aren't beat down by their shitty salaries.

I went to public school, and I can say confident that I hated just about every second of it.  It was a waste of time.  It didn't better me as a person nor did it challenge me academically.  It was babysitting.

[Yegolev]

I agree with Rasix 100%.  I'm sure you can google up if your state or municipality is OK or not in regard to public school.

In the end, it's an option for better education.  Additionally, it can lead to business contacts.  If a public school near my house was just as good, I'd sure as hell send my son there instead of driving him 24 miles/45 minutes to a private school, and spend that money elsewhere.  I definitely think he'll be better off if he isn't attending school with kids who will end up driving around with a giant rebel flag flying out of the back of their mud-covered pickup trucks.

[Maven]

Today I had an altercation with another student that escalated in a bad way. But the tipping point was when he called me a racist in front of a faculty member.

Welp. Along with an earlier namecall of skinhead (I have shaved sides with long thin hair on top, more Injun than Neonazi) and him posturing by saying he called his lawyer (in a *student* dispute), I threw my hands up and had to get police involved. Now I get to talk to the Dean of Discipline.

Also, officer handling our situation reminded me that talking to the police isn't always in my interest. The Captain who initially took my report kept interrupting to pinpoint where I fucked up. It was only after one of his younger, female subordinates took over where I felt I could finish my story.

I felt like Mikael Blomkamp at the beginning of Larsson's The Girl Who Kicked Up The Hornet's Nest.

[NowhereMan]

I've got to say, a student dispute that ends up with the police involved is one where I think you fucked up, even if that fuck up was just not realising you were dealing with a psycho and backing away slowly. In the future if someone goes off on racism it's probably a good point to just go, 'You're clearly not interested in any kind of discussion. Good day sir!'

Good luck with that though.

Edit: Phone postingggg.....

[Paelos]

Nope, go full Nerf.

Post results.

[Hawkbit]

Injun

That's not a great start to a defense against racism.

[Maven]

I would have went with Indie Rocker but I didn't want to imply I was a culturalist.

The whole thing was fucked. I was no angel. Injun was the first word that came to mind that was semantically related to neonazi -- I guess stating a specific tribe would have been more sensitive?

[Lantyssa]

Better than implying you're a racist.

[Hawkbit]

I guess stating a specific tribe would have been more sensitive?

Not all indigenous cultures are purely tribal. 

American Indian and Native American are mildly offensive because their people were here prior to it being called America. Indigenous Peoples is the most safe term. First Nations was pretty good for awhile, but now refers to Canadian indigenous people. I would only call someone by their cultural or tribe name if I know for a fact they were of that culture or tribe. There's a world of difference between the lives and ethos of the Tlingut and the Anasazi.

One of my favorite courses in my first degree was Cultural Anthro - if you have space for an elective, take it! It's probably really good at your school.