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Author Topic: Useless Conversation  (Read 3400752 times)
Nebu
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Posts: 17613


Reply #36435 on: August 18, 2017, 10:44:08 AM

Merusk:

Again, I've been through a VERY similar situation.  Here is what helped me...

- It's important that you find a sane and objective attorney with ethics.  This will help you feel less crazy during the process.   
- Accept that what you're about to go through is what I call "the cost of an education".  You're going to win a few battles and lose a few battles.  This will end up costing you far more than it should.  If you accept this as part of your education on relationships, it will take a littl eof the 'sting' out. 
- Pick your battles carefully.  Winning the war is the goal.  You can lose a skirmish or two along the way and still come out ahead.
- Know that things will get better.  It's easy to lose sight of it in the moment, but they will.


"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Merusk
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Badge Whore


Reply #36436 on: August 18, 2017, 10:56:37 AM

Thanks guys, the acceptance is easily because I made the decision rather than being on the other end of it. So far I've never had that lost sense of power that throws people into a tailspin.

The attorney will have to wait. We've got a plan, an agreement to dissolve and an unbundled services lawyer we're meeting with Wednesday.  Thankfully Ohio allows for dissolution rather than divorce so we can agree, sign the agreement, swear to it in court and be done within 60 days of filing. After that we're done. No battles to fight other than getting the equity sorted.

In a Divorce we'd have to do the whole asset and debt discovery and then resolve, dissolution allows you to circumvent that whole process which is where folks get tripped-up.

Good attitude, likely a good option on selling the house there. I'd suggest consolidation and/or credit repair.

Follow these steps with an accurate account of how to tell each credit agency what happened to see if they will remove the marks against you. You do not need to pay someone for this, it's a waste of money.

Follow which steps, Monkey, you provided no link!

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024

I am the harbinger of your doom!


Reply #36437 on: August 18, 2017, 11:03:00 AM

There are kids involved with this too, right? I thought you had procreated at some point.

-Rasix
Chimpy
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Reply #36438 on: August 18, 2017, 11:38:31 AM

I love getting shouted down by developers saying what I just saw happen can't ever happen due to physics, drive architecture, etc. It's not like they ever fuck up or anything.

 Argh! Argh! Argh!

If you need help bearing the shit out of them, let me know.

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075

Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #36439 on: August 18, 2017, 02:13:59 PM

Good attitude, likely a good option on selling the house there. I'd suggest consolidation and/or credit repair.

Follow these steps with an accurate account of how to tell each credit agency what happened to see if they will remove the marks against you. You do not need to pay someone for this, it's a waste of money.

Follow which steps, Monkey, you provided no link!

Sorry. Linky: https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0058-credit-repair-how-help-yourself

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024

I am the harbinger of your doom!


Reply #36440 on: August 18, 2017, 03:30:16 PM

I love getting shouted down by developers saying what I just saw happen can't ever happen due to physics, drive architecture, etc. It's not like they ever fuck up or anything.

 Argh! Argh! Argh!

If you need help bearing the shit out of them, let me know.

I may, but I'm just dismissing this dev (who is a STSM btw) as being off his meds. It's essentially a semantic issue that he ended up going back invalidating my test case over and writing paragraph after paragraph over what is honestly nothing.  I'm just a little worried the guy is going to go scorched earth and start digging through my backlog just because I used "exhausted" instead of "wrote all". Another dev asked him "uhh, what's the big deal", and he went on further.  Then he found a typo and proceeded to call me an idiot for that too.

FFS, it's Friday.  I'm just going to run some IO and watch speedruns on YouTube for the rest of the day.

-Rasix
Mandella
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1235


Reply #36441 on: August 18, 2017, 07:29:26 PM

STSM?

Sexual Trauma Services of the Midlands?

Short Term Scientific Mission?
ghost
The Dentist
Posts: 10619


Reply #36442 on: August 18, 2017, 09:25:18 PM

Thanks guys, the acceptance is easily because I made the decision rather than being on the other end of it. So far I've never had that lost sense of power that throws people into a tailspin.

The attorney will have to wait. We've got a plan, an agreement to dissolve and an unbundled services lawyer we're meeting with Wednesday.  Thankfully Ohio allows for dissolution rather than divorce so we can agree, sign the agreement, swear to it in court and be done within 60 days of filing. After that we're done. No battles to fight other than getting the equity sorted.

In a Divorce we'd have to do the whole asset and debt discovery and then resolve, dissolution allows you to circumvent that whole process which is where folks get tripped-up.

Damn, son.  Sorry to hear about all this bullshit.  With a little time you'll be back on your feet and much happier, from the sounds of things.
Abagadro
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Posts: 12227

Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.


Reply #36443 on: August 18, 2017, 11:15:07 PM

Weird that she is sntitled to any equity at all when it should be offst by all the debt. Must be this dissolution business which I have never heard of.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

-H.L. Mencken
Chimpy
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Reply #36444 on: August 19, 2017, 04:14:09 PM

I love getting shouted down by developers saying what I just saw happen can't ever happen due to physics, drive architecture, etc. It's not like they ever fuck up or anything.

 Argh! Argh! Argh!

If you need help bearing the shit out of them, let me know.

I may, but I'm just dismissing this dev (who is a STSM btw) as being off his meds. It's essentially a semantic issue that he ended up going back invalidating my test case over and writing paragraph after paragraph over what is honestly nothing.  I'm just a little worried the guy is going to go scorched earth and start digging through my backlog just because I used "exhausted" instead of "wrote all". Another dev asked him "uhh, what's the big deal", and he went on further.  Then he found a typo and proceeded to call me an idiot for that too.

FFS, it's Friday.  I'm just going to run some IO and watch speedruns on YouTube for the rest of the day.

Want to hear my "it did something impossible" story related to your company's product for today?

We had to shut down everything in what has been our primary datacenter for the last couple months for emergency maintenance to the building power feed this morning. Powered everything off the way they tell you to "just unplug it" since there is no way to shut it down gracefully.

We have two units, different models of the same line. When I powered them up this afternoon, BOTH of them had one of their two controllers power up in an unrecoverable state and now I have to have a tech get a part and come and replace a control canister in each array.


'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Morat20
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18529


Reply #36445 on: August 19, 2017, 08:10:33 PM

So quick gym advice. I joined one (go me) and then went to one (go me) and now I'm very sore because all I've done for the last two decades is sit on my butt.

Now I've got the weight stuff down (I'm just doing circuit machines, it's not complicated).

It's the cardio stuff. Ellipticals seem to send me straight to my maximum (not target) heart rate, like practically right away. That seems unwise. Bikes are a huge struggle to stay in my target, without jacking the resistance all the way up. Otherwise I'm stuck around 120 or so. So should I try to slow down on the elliptical a ton? (It seemed a good pace, but I guess it was the equivilant of sprinting. I didn't seem to be breathing that hard, but my heart disagreed....I finally gave up on that and figured I'd toy with it next time. I was tired).

Also, my thought was like "15 minutes on a bike as a warmup, do a machine circuit, then more cardio (bike or elliptical) then cool-down" maybe that's not the best pattern?

Any advice in general? Clearly "185 is NOT what you should be doing" is pretty obvious.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2017, 08:34:32 PM by Morat20 »
Nebu
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Posts: 17613


Reply #36446 on: August 19, 2017, 08:46:40 PM

Any advice in general? Clearly "185 is NOT what you should be doing" is pretty obvious.

Start slowly.  While enthusiasm is a great thing, it is often counterproductive.   You WILL get into shape gradually.  Ease your way into it.  As we get older, recover times get longer.  Working out before adequate recovery is the fast track to injury.

If you want specifics, I'll be happy to share experience and advice on workouts, training, and anything else. 

Congrats on taking the first step!

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
MrHat
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Posts: 7432

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Reply #36447 on: August 20, 2017, 07:32:45 AM

I'll echo Nebu's advice (he helped me get into it a bunch of years back).

Regarding the elliptical - I used to struggle terribly with it.  A stint of physical therapy showed me what I was missing.  Do this: start each of your sessions with 5-7 mins of elliptical. Not more.  After a couple of weeks, you'll be able to do 25 mins.  Then go from there.

My best advice is to make sure that your gym time is NOT negotiable.  It is part of your day the way work is part of your day. 
Morat20
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Posts: 18529


Reply #36448 on: August 20, 2017, 08:58:56 AM

Thanks. I like the elliptical, because I hit my target rate right away (I find pushing at the bike and thinking "I either wear out my legs right getting to my target rate in five or six minutes, or spend ten minutes at 120 when I want to be at 140), and I've found it's both easy to get into a tempo and pretty nice on the knees.

Just having the machine keep shutting down because my HR was so high was alarming.

Gym time, I'm trying to go three times a week right now. Trying to get my brother to come too (I get to have a guest whenever). He's finally got both lungs opening all the way now, it doesn't look likely they're going to do surgery anytime soon, so....he really needs to go. Five years of practically being an invalid have really fucked him over.
Samwise
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sentient yeast infection


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Reply #36449 on: August 21, 2017, 10:01:36 AM

Sitting on the roof watching the eclipse.

It's kinda neat seeing the sun turn into a cookie with a bite taken out of it, but I'm glad I didn't drive to another state to see the same thing with a slightly larger bite.   awesome, for real

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Cheddar
I like pink
Posts: 4987

Noob Sauce


Reply #36450 on: August 21, 2017, 10:30:30 AM

Sitting on the roof watching the eclipse.

It's kinda neat seeing the sun turn into a cookie with a bite taken out of it, but I'm glad I didn't drive to another state to see the same thing with a slightly larger bite.   awesome, for real

I am looking forward to almost 3 minutes of totality  DRILLING AND MANLINESS DRILLING AND MANLINESS

No Nerf, but I put a link to this very thread and I said that you all can guarantee for my purity. I even mentioned your case, and see if they can take a look at your lawn from a Michigan perspective.
schild
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Reply #36451 on: August 21, 2017, 10:36:39 AM

i'm looking forward to not seeing shit
Samwise
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sentient yeast infection


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Reply #36452 on: August 21, 2017, 10:45:47 AM

Little cloudy in SF but not enough to completely block the view.


"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
01101010
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Posts: 12002

You call it an accident. I call it justice.


Reply #36453 on: August 21, 2017, 11:49:05 AM

Waiting on the next one... it's basically going over my mother's city in Ohio...

I went outside 15 minutes ago and in true Pittsburgh style, it was cloudy.... Fuck this town.

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
Cheddar
I like pink
Posts: 4987

Noob Sauce


Reply #36454 on: August 21, 2017, 11:50:04 AM

That was much cooler then I thought it would be!

No Nerf, but I put a link to this very thread and I said that you all can guarantee for my purity. I even mentioned your case, and see if they can take a look at your lawn from a Michigan perspective.
Merusk
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Badge Whore


Reply #36455 on: August 21, 2017, 11:50:52 AM

Waiting on the next one... it's basically going over my mother's city in Ohio...

I went outside 15 minutes ago and in true Pittsburgh style, it was cloudy.... Fuck this town.

I have a friend in North Hills and it was clear there. :(

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12002

You call it an accident. I call it justice.


Reply #36456 on: August 21, 2017, 11:54:48 AM

High clouds here by the zoo. Not a huge deal... it wasn't going to be total so meh...

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
Father mike
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Posts: 533


Reply #36457 on: August 21, 2017, 12:09:49 PM

Nashville had totality, so we got a great view.  No clouds where we were, either!  Only downside was that our pics turned out smudgy, but we only spent about 20-30 sec fiddling with that before we went back to just watching.  Awesome event, all told.

I would like to thank Vladimir Putin for ensuring that every member of the NPR news staff has had to say "Pussy Riot" on the air multiple times.
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42628

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


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Reply #36458 on: August 21, 2017, 12:10:46 PM

Bit of a disappointment here - it was totally clear, but it never really got dark. It was cool watching it through the glasses but I expected darkness, mayhem and sunsquatches.

Sky
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I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #36459 on: August 21, 2017, 12:12:08 PM

Sitting on the roof watching the eclipse.

It's kinda neat seeing the sun turn into a cookie with a bite taken out of it, but I'm glad I didn't drive to another state to see the same thing with a slightly larger bite.   awesome, for real
It's all about the totality. Otherwise, just use a pinhole camera and don't bother. I had Fort NASA on the patio, livestreaming with a beer and my pinhole cameras.

Clouded just as the peak hit, so pinholes got less useful but it became perfect for direct pics. Wish I had thought to bring out the good camera, stuck with cell phone and shit digital zoom.

Mandella
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Posts: 1235


Reply #36460 on: August 21, 2017, 02:05:56 PM

Non-totality here, but the wife and I took a walk along our tree lined road. Sun filtering through the leaves projected thousands of little crescents on the ground.

It was pretty cool.
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #36461 on: August 21, 2017, 02:08:24 PM

I hate all you fuckers that didn't have to work.

And didn't have clouds overhead, like Chicagoland did.

Of course, it's fucking sunny and bright out NOW that everything's over.

 Ohhhhh, I see.

HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42628

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #36462 on: August 21, 2017, 02:31:12 PM

Most of my office just walked over to the parking garage's roof across the block and I saw a bunch of other people on similar rooftops downtown. It was basically a slightly longer 15-minute break.

Ironwood
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Posts: 28240


Reply #36463 on: August 21, 2017, 02:39:20 PM

Man, this is how it starts.  Then the Triffids.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Polysorbate80
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Reply #36464 on: August 21, 2017, 03:42:09 PM

It was first day of class here at the University, and the administration basically said "fuck it, let them all out to go watch"  awesome, for real

I was a little too far south of the '79 eclipse for totality, and just a bit too far north of it this time.  I expected it to be darker with 93% coverage. 

Totally clear day for it though (except for the lawn sprinklers that came on and blasted me a couple minutes before the peak)

“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
Samwise
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sentient yeast infection


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Reply #36465 on: August 21, 2017, 04:08:16 PM

My office bought everyone eclipse-viewing glasses so we could all hang out on the roof and watch.   DRILLING AND MANLINESS  I brought my laptop so I could catch up on email in between the brief glimpses where the clouds parted and we could all look up and go "oo".  It was nice.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Morat20
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Posts: 18529


Reply #36466 on: August 21, 2017, 05:26:50 PM

We're a NASA subcontractor so -- everyone was outside. Plenty of spare glasses, pinhole setups, even a number of welding masks (yes, of sufficiently high filter. The guys who use it for fabbing use some very interesting tools....)
schild
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Reply #36467 on: August 21, 2017, 07:25:16 PM

I opened my window and at one point it got 10% darker.
rattran
Moderator
Posts: 4257

Unreasonable


Reply #36468 on: August 21, 2017, 07:37:43 PM

Pouring rain in Rockford for the max (~85%) so I didn't get to see anything but the wife got to watch totality at home, and thought it was awesome.
Chimpy
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Reply #36469 on: August 21, 2017, 08:44:33 PM

I left at 4am and drove down to a state park in Southern IL about ten miles from where the totality was the longest in the US. Was definitely worth seeing.

Traffic was horrendous coming home. I averaged 10 miles an hour for the first four hours driving back until I decided to drive 50 miles out of the way and take two lane state roads well away from the interstates the last 3/4 of the distance. Ended up taking 8 hours to get home, took me three to get there. I would probably still be south of I-70 if I hadn't changed course.

I think the traffic jam on interstate 57 might have reached from Chicago to Memphis at some point. Now I know what people evacuating coastal areas before a hurricane feel like.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2017, 08:46:30 PM by Chimpy »

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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