Funerals Suck

[Ironwood]

Yup, that is a good death.


I'd still like to be balls deep in Beyonce when I go tho.

 

[Kenrick]

I'd still like to be balls deep in Beyonce when I go tho.

Whoa... seriously, those were my granddad's last words.   

As I walk out the door to his funeral... hehe.

Thanks for the condolences.

[Paelos]

Sorry to hear about the grand-dad Kenrick.

I have a grandfather of a similar age (89) and he's had some health issues in the past where we thought his time was up. I found myself thinking as my grandparents get into their late eighties and nineties that I'll be happy for them when they finally do pass on. They are all devout Christians and have lived lives longer and richer than I can comprehend. When the time comes, they will be off to their reward. I know in many cases just by talking to them that they are planning and are quite optimistic about their own mortality.

[Ironwood]

 

[Yegolev]

Threads about funerals suck, too.

[Arnold]

It's different in the USA.  We generally don't have pubs right next to the cemetary.   Very little drinking happens at our funerals.

That's horrible.  Your funerals must be sad affairs.

No shit.  When people die who I am friends with or realated to, we do a lot of partying.  It's more of a celebration of life than a mopey, somber affair.

[Azazel]

It really depends on the person who passed and how close to them you are/were. I've only been to one funeral, well it was a pre-cremation service rather than a service and burial. Like others here, I've avoided them until last year when my brother died. Our older brother had quite a good speech, but as Glenn and I were about as close as you can get (the only person I'm closer to is my wife) I was pretty much still comatose and though I was asked to say something if I wanted to I was just too fucked up to do anything. I guess it didn't help that one evening we were playing Everquest together and 2 nights later I found his stiff corpse on the kitchen floor. As it happens, a week later we were in a funeral home with his laminated corpse.

Maybe for someone else I could do the celebrate life/party thing, grandparents, uncles, auties, meh, I'm not so close. Even my own parents I've come to accept that they won't be here much longer but in this case it was out of the blue and making a speech or being coherent wasn't something I could do. I'm still pretty fucking unhinged now, to tell the truth.

And yeah, we all went to an RSL after the service and there was both a bar tab and finger food provided. I did chat to a few people I hadn't seen in awhile, but it was no party to me.

My own funeral? Assuming anyone comes (I hope to have maybe 5-10 people there who give a fuck, tops). For the two songs they let a dead person have, I want them to play the opening theme from Black Robe, followed by the long version of Ministry's  N.W.O (the 8-minute abrasive-as-fuck version). Then put my cheap-as-possible cardboard coffin in the incinerator and be done with it all..

[Engels]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Azazel. If my sister died suddenly, I think I'd be a royal basket case for years. I just can't imagine what you went through, or are going through.

A lot of the commentary here was probably mostly glib remarks about how cheesy funerals are. I've lost both my parents at an early age, and no venue in the world, from the soberest American protestant to the craziest Irish catholic funeral would have provided an avenue for grief for those really affected. I just don't think its possible.

Years after my dad's death, I myself organised a new, private memorial service for him. Just me, my family, and some close close friends of our family. In forest land of my dad's best friend, we lay a small marker in a glade. A few words were spoken, but it was just to have a moment of real remembrance for those that honestly gave a shit.

Same thing with my mother. Her funeral was the usual hurried affair arranged in the spirit of some invisible political campaign. Months later, I revisited the forest glade and put in another marker, with just those who gave a toss.

[Llava]

You guys are bringing the funeral thread down.

So I have a joke:


What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?




One less drunk.

[Ironwood]

 

[Lantyssa]

I'll be gone for my grandmother's funeral for a few days.  I am okay considering she was very old and we knew this was coming, but funerals still suck.

Hopefully I shall have some kind of internet access and still bug you people.  If not, enjoy the break from me while you can.

[Signe]

Sorry about your grandmother, Lantyssa.     Hope you bug us lots.  I'll try to save all my really snarky stuff until you come back.

[Lantyssa]

Thank you (and slow, free wireless).  I won't do much bugging but I can, at least, lurk.

[XboxGod]

My mother wishes her body to be carried down the aisle to the tune of 'The Stripper' and that her headstone be an enormous black Marble Dung beetle, to represent what she's done with her life.  She also wants no-one over 14 to walk out of the after party sober.

Make no mistake, I have the money and respect that her wishes will be carried out.

Seriously.

That's a great idea. I personally have never been to a funeral, though I've had a few relatives die in my lifetime, it's just something I've never wanted to do. I prefer to hang on to the memories I have, and not them in a box with a bunch of people crying.