There is a God

[Broughden]

So I just got the call at 10am this morning to depart Fort Bragg, North Carolina and report to New York Monday morning. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I am free at last....of this back woods, redneck, inbred, no culture, tattoo parlor/Korean strip bar covered, tick and mosquito infested, fat ass fried chicken eatting women state!
I will return to F13 once my wireless internet is turned on in the apartment.



Not that I expect any of you to care.

[dusematic]

I kind of like North Carolina.  Vinegar based barbecue is the shit.  Plus, the Outer Banks is melancholy in a beautiful way.  Like Georgia O'Keefe.

[bhodi]

Bragg's bad, but some of the state isn't.

[Viin]

Congrats on the PCS!

[Morat20]

So I just got the call at 10am this morning to depart Fort Bragg, North Carolina and report to New York Monday morning. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I am free at last....of this back woods, redneck, inbred, no culture, tattoo parlor/Korean strip bar covered, tick and mosquito infested, fat ass fried chicken eatting women state!
I will return to F13 once my wireless internet is turned on in the apartment.



Not that I expect any of you to care.

North Carolina -- the weather's probably better than Houston, where it's alternating "hot and humid" with "hot and humid AND swarms of blood-sucking mosquitos". On the other hand, it's North Carolina there.

Either way, I'd consider New York a move up. And I rather loathe New York. Too crowded. :)

[Engels]

So I just got the call at 10am this morning to depart Fort Bragg, North Carolina and report to New York Monday morning. Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I am free at last....of this back woods, redneck, inbred, no culture, tattoo parlor/Korean strip bar covered, tick and mosquito infested, fat ass fried chicken eatting women state!
I will return to F13 once my wireless internet is turned on in the apartment.



Not that I expect any of you to care.

North Carolina -- the weather's probably better than Houston, where it's alternating "hot and humid" with "hot and humid AND swarms of blood-sucking mosquitos". On the other hand, it's North Carolina there.

Either way, I'd consider New York a move up. And I rather loathe New York. Too crowded. :)

North Carolina isn't too bad if you live in the Triangle area, or even Wilmington. A miltary base anywhere in NC has got to be a motive to go to war, just to get the heck out.

[Big Gulp]

Not that I expect any of you to care.

Yeah, Fayetteville sucks.  Actually, the South in general sucks, as far as I'm concerned.

My salvation from Bragg was in having buddies in the Air Force over at Pope.  There's only so much Army shit one person can stand.

[Yegolev]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

[Big Gulp]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

[dusematic]

Mine does, but that's why I'm working at Red Robin.

[Jimbo]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

I didn't, and I am a nurse.

[Roac]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

I didn't / it does, and am a software dev. manager. 

[UD_Delt]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

My resume is entirely accurate. I would hate to weasel my way into a job only to have the company realize I'm vastly underqualified. I would rather not have a resume filled with prior positions I couldn't provide a reference for because I got fired.

The only possible minor deceit is in by listing my Overall GPA from college (had a double major). It's listed as a 3.2 but in reality I had about a 3.9 in my psychology classes and a 2.6 or so in my computer science classes and now I work in the IT field.

[Morat20]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

Hell, you HAVE to lie because the person screening your resume (and later doing your interview, should you get lucky) is assuming you're lieing, so you have to lie just so he thinks you're as qualified as you really are.

[Nebu]

I loved North Carolina... then again, I lived in Chapel Hill which is significantly different from the rest of the state. 

Good luck with the move!

[Samwise]

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?

Apparently everyone who's not in the military.

[Yegolev]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

I lied to get the one I have now, if that's what you are asking.  Actually, all the jobs that involve computers required some exaggeration, what with me being unpapered and all.  Draw from this what you will, but I didn't have a damn thing until I started inflating the resume and bluffing in the interview.  That also includes trying out for jobs that I had no specific qualifications for.

[Ironwood]

This is the job you lied to get, right?

Who the hell doesn't lie to get a job?  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

I didn't, and I am a nurse.

Well, thank Christ for that.  I'd hope you are qualified, since I might be a difficult person to Catheter.

[Big Gulp]

I love all the saints here with unpuffed resumes...  Why, you must be the only people on the planet who don't push a little bullshit in search of gainful employment!  This is excluding people like nurses, teachers, etc.  who have to have certifications in order to work legally.  For everyone else out there, you're fucking lying.

I'm not talking big lies like, "I was in the Peace Corps".  Nothing made up out of whole cloth... just puffery.   I'm talking little lies like slightly exaggerated bullet points, giving your GPA a slight boost, etc.  And if you haven't done so, then you just don't want that job badly enough.  Doing well at a job interview is a fine art where you try to read your interviewer, and toe the line very carefully on just how much bullshit you can push forward.

[Signe]

No worries.  I'm pretty sure those tubes come in all sorts of sizes, even extra-extra teeny weeny peeny size, if you need.  I'm pretty sure your wee bits would be safe in Jimbo's hands, too... and the rest of his family.  Bubba, Darryl and Jimmy Joe.

PS  It has never occurred to me to lie on an application or a resume.  Maybe I didn't mention that I called my boss "scrotum breath" just before he sacked me, but I was not sure how to fit that in, although I would have loved the person interviewing me to ask me about it.  I don't need to lie on resumes, my disdain for jobs that pay actual money is always apparent on my face.  I have snubbed everyone who has ever dared to give me an interview.

[shiznitz]

  Does anyone here's resume actually reflect reality?

My resume is accurate, but when I interviewed for my current job five years ago I gave myself a huge raise and then that got topped! Risky move but it worked.

[Hokers]

My resume is accurate as well.  It does not mention that I was once fired for criticising management, and it has not come up.

[UD_Delt]

I love all the saints here with unpuffed resumes...  Why, you must be the only people on the planet who don't push a little bullshit in search of gainful employment!  This is excluding people like nurses, teachers, etc.  who have to have certifications in order to work legally.  For everyone else out there, you're fucking lying.

I'm not talking big lies like, "I was in the Peace Corps".  Nothing made up out of whole cloth... just puffery.   I'm talking little lies like slightly exaggerated bullet points, giving your GPA a slight boost, etc.  And if you haven't done so, then you just don't want that job badly enough.  Doing well at a job interview is a fine art where you try to read your interviewer, and toe the line very carefully on just how much bullshit you can push forward.

Pure bullshit...

Not everyone is a complete fuckup that has to make shit up to be employable.

[bhodi]

I do list some software and products that I've only been passingly involved with, or touched once or twice, but I also have no problems detaling my level of familiarity (or lack therof) in a face to face or phone interview. I like to get them out there on my resume becuase keyword searches is the name of the game.

I don't consider that cheating. I know that I'd rather hire someone who's seen or installed a product once a year go than somone who's never seen it before.

[MrHat]

I do list some software and products that I've only been passingly involved with, or touched once or twice, but I also have no problems detaling my level of familiarity (or lack therof) in a face to face or phone interview. I like to get them out there on my resume becuase keyword searches is the name of the game.

I don't consider that cheating. I know that I'd rather hire someone who's seen or installed a product once a year go than somone who's never seen it before.

I'm with you on this one.  Besides, it's not hard to relearn that stuff.

[Sky]

I've never padded a resume, nor lied on one. No use, really. It's all about the interview. I've done hiring, too. Bullshit detector goes off in the interview, I end it on the spot and suggest they try being honest. Competency works wonders, as does truthfulness.

[bhodi]

I've never padded a resume, nor lied on one. No use, really. It's all about the interview. I've done hiring, too. Bullshit detector goes off in the interview, I end it on the spot and suggest they try being honest. Competency works wonders, as does truthfulness.

It's all about getting through the phase 1 HR shredder. That's what my resume is solely designed to do.

[Roac]

I'm not talking big lies like, "I was in the Peace Corps".  Nothing made up out of whole cloth... just puffery.   I'm talking little lies like slightly exaggerated bullet points, giving your GPA a slight boost, etc.  And if you haven't done so, then you just don't want that job badly enough.

The people I work for spend a month and a half doing background research.  You bet your ass I didn't fudge one decimal on my GPA or anything else.  Very few people who pass the interviews get hired for that reason (I would guesstimate around 1/3 in the last few years in our department... not sure how common that is agency wide though). 

[bhodi]

Listen, I have an honest question. Who the fuck cares what your GPA was? Seriously. Unless you're fresh out of college, the very fact you WENT to college (unless it's very prestigious) is relegated to the dead last part of your resume, in tiny font on the very end.

[WayAbvPar]

I have never falsified any part of my resume. I would rather not be in the position to try to explain it if it were to come up, so I am honest.

[Viin]

I have maybe 20 college credits, something I've never put on my resume. So far it hasn't caused any problems finding employment (not having a degree) but I think if I were to apply for a large corp that uses a HR person to screen resumes it'd probably not get too far unless they didn't get very many responses. Anyways, after a certain point most job offers come from someone you know in that particular company so you are circumventing the HR dept altogether.

If I can get to the interview stage I can probably get any job unless I'm asking for more money than they want to give (happened a couple of times).

My resume doesn't lie (though it might omit a job or two I don't think is relevant) but it does use 'market speak' to make it sound good.

[Engels]

Listen, I have an honest question. Who the fuck cares what your GPA was? Seriously. Unless you're fresh out of college, the very fact you WENT to college (unless it's very prestigious) is relegated to the dead last part of your resume, in tiny font on the very end.

Who includes their GPA on a resume anyways? No employer I've ever interviewed for wanted to know that.

As for flat our lying, no, I haven't. The closest I came was listing MUSH coding as 'voluteer programmer' and helping a family friend debug an ancient Windows 3.1 accounting software as 'consulting' back in 1989.

Regardless, Broughden lying about residency status in NY to get the transfer seems small potatoes and a beaurocratic issue. I know many of us, including myself, are irritated by Broughden for any number of things, but this one's a cheap shot.

[Ironwood]

[Morat20]

I do list some software and products that I've only been passingly involved with, or touched once or twice, but I also have no problems detaling my level of familiarity (or lack therof) in a face to face or phone interview. I like to get them out there on my resume becuase keyword searches is the name of the game.

I don't consider that cheating. I know that I'd rather hire someone who's seen or installed a product once a year go than somone who's never seen it before.

When I got interviewed for my current job (and my resume lieing was restricted to claiming familiarity with languages and software I hadn't touched in 5+ years.), my interviewer (and now boss) said the company barred "quizzing a subject on technical skills". However, he said there was absolutely NO bar to yanking out some code and tracing through it, and discussing the methodology involved.

That the code was a simple program utilizing very advanced C techniques and was designed solely to be traced through by applicants to demonstrate an understanding of the concepts that went beyond "Shit you memorized in college" was utterly coincidental.

I do admit his use of function pointers threw me at first, but once I recognized that he was simulating polymorphism using C, I worked it out. The most ironic part? I've spent maybe 10% of my time dealing with a compiled language since.

[UD_Delt]

When I got interviewed for my current job (and my resume lieing was restricted to claiming familiarity with languages and software I hadn't touched in 5+ years.), my interviewer (and now boss) said the company barred "quizzing a subject on technical skills".

What the hell is the reasoning behind that? We don't give tests or anything but we usually phone interview our candidates before bringing them onsite and 2 or 3 of us will grill them with technical questions to see if it's worth our time to do a real interview.