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Topic: God's submission to the Darwin Awards. (Read 1973 times)
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tazelbain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6603
tazelbain
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Dumb AssIf god does exist, he surely doesn't protect morons from themselves.
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"Me am play gods"
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WayAbvPar
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Reality 1
Faith 0
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, and saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, he shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Jesus said unto him, It is written, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. |
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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Didn't a guy in China do something similar a few months ago? He was trying to save the lion's soul or something. Ah yes, here it is. |
Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029
inflicts shingles.
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Hey, maybe god wanted to entertain the bored lions that day instead of saving yet another carbon based organism that was clearly malfunctioning.
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I should get back to nature, too. You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer. Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached. Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe
I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa
Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
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tazelbain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6603
tazelbain
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LOL, enrichment indeed.
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"Me am play gods"
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Ookii
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 2676
is actually Trippy
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I like this one: Kung fu fan tries to stop train
(China Daily)
Updated: 2006-06-03 09:06
A 17-year-old boy surnamed Liang almost died when he tried to use a kung fu movement to stop a running train in Laibin Railway Station in South China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region on Tuesday, Nanguo Jinbao reported.
Liang was pushed to safety by a railway policeman just as he was about to be knocked down. Liang jumped down to the tracks and wanted to use Xianglongshibazhang, a famous kung fu posturing described in many swordsman fictions, to stop the running train.
He was taken into custody for breaking railway rules and said he wanted to test whether or not he could use kung fu to stop the train. Liang is a great fan of swordsman fiction and has also learnt martial arts.
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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He was taken into custody I guess his kungfu doesn't work on police. Conan on the religious nut vs. lions: "God said "Sorry, those lions had been praying for five days for some idiot to break into their cage."" |
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Conan on the religious nut vs. lions: "God said "Sorry, those lions had been praying for five days for some idiot to break into their cage.""
Pure gold. |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Mesozoic
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1359
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Liang was pushed to safety by a railway policeman just as he was about to be knocked down. Knocked down? I think the medical examiner might have taken issue with that characterization of his physical state. |
...any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god.
-Numtini
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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There's a famous story about a Zen student who was given the koan "How do you stop the Tokyo Express while sitting still?" After grappling with the koan for months and arriving at no satisfactory answer, he sat on the train tracks and waited for enlightenment.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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By pressing the brake pedal?
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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There's a famous story about a Zen student who was given the koan "How do you stop the Tokyo Express while sitting still?" After grappling with the koan for months and arriving at no satisfactory answer, he sat on the train tracks and waited for enlightenment.
The enlightenment at the end of the tunnel is a train. |
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