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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: May The Metal Gods smile upon you as well, my brothers & sisters. 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: May The Metal Gods smile upon you as well, my brothers & sisters.  (Read 1535 times)
Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449

Badge Whore


on: April 19, 2006, 04:28:46 PM

Quote from: The Edmonton Sun
Train Bash Survivor Thanks Metal Gods

By CP
         

RED DEER -- The metal gods were smiling on Jesse Maggrah.

The 20-year-old man was walking beside railway tracks on Sunday, the Norwegian heavy metal band Gorgoroth cranked on his portable CD player, when he was hit by a freight train.

Maggrah said he did hear the blast of the train horn just before he was hit.

"I tried to jump out of the way, but I guess not in time," he said yesterday from his bed at Red Deer Regional Hospital Centre.

"It was just instant. I was just walking and then I was on the ground. I wasn't sure what happened. Then I saw the train stopping up ahead. I thought, 'Holy crap, dude, you just got hit by a train.' "

Police say the engineer and conductor on the northbound Canadian Pacific Railway train saw the man on the tracks several kilometres south of Red Deer. The crew blew the whistle and attempted to stop, but they were only able to slow the train to about 50 kmh before hitting him.

Maggrah was thrown four to five metres from the tracks. Stunned, he moved his arms and legs to check for damage.

"I knew I was alive, so that was good."

He has several broken ribs, one which is poking into a lung, his doctors have told him. Maggrah is also very sore and stiff, and is having trouble walking.

Maggrah said he didn't hear the train over his music and he didn't feel anything through the ground.

"Maybe the metal gods above were smiling on me and they didn't want one of their true warriors to die on them. Otherwise, I'd be up there in the kingdom of steel."

Police say no charges are pending against the man.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #1 on: April 19, 2006, 04:53:53 PM

Darwin isn't infallible I guess.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #2 on: April 19, 2006, 06:27:45 PM

Methinks the Metal Gods kept him from hearing the train.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #3 on: April 19, 2006, 06:31:32 PM

I always knew the metal gods had bad taste. It explains so much.
Telemediocrity
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Posts: 791


Reply #4 on: April 19, 2006, 06:35:53 PM

EXTREME!
Jeff Kelly
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Posts: 6921

I'm an apathetic, hedonistic, utilitarian, nihilistic existentialist.


Reply #5 on: April 20, 2006, 01:28:49 AM

This guy was walking on fucking railroad tracks while blasting his ears with death metal? How stupid can one actually be? (OK, that is a rhethorical question).

I am always scared after reading such stories because these people are allowed to vote, to breed and to operate heavy machinery although they do not have even the most basic grasp of reality. Walking on railroad tracks == stupid idea, walking on railroad tracks while listening to loud music = retarded idea. This is an equation that most five-year-olds could work out on their own.
Sky
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Posts: 32117

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #6 on: April 20, 2006, 11:37:17 AM

There is only one Metal God:


Speaking of dumb kids, the kid who got hit by a car while being pulled by his sister while he rode on a round plastic sled balanced on a skateboard down the middle of my ghetto street two weeks ago was playing in the street again the other day. That's just begging to be darwinised...but he still leaves a large, stupid family behind.

It's the responsibility for intelligent and responsible people to have huge herds of kids to offset these fucking morons that won't stop breeding.
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #7 on: April 20, 2006, 07:52:21 PM

Can't we rely on sterilization instead?

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #8 on: April 20, 2006, 08:28:48 PM

No one is more metal than Hard Gay.

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