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Topic: Fatsos everywhere heave a collective sigh of relief (Read 4047 times)
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dusematic
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2250
Diablo 3's Number One Fan
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Woo hoo!
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Evangolis
Contributor
Posts: 1220
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I've been hoping someone would discover a way to boil my fat within my body, so that it rots until it slimes it's way out. Oh happy day. Now if only they could think of a way to make a tasty snack food with the melted fat, my joy would be complete.
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"It was a difficult party" - an unexpected word combination from ex-Merry Prankster and author Robert Stone.
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dusematic
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2250
Diablo 3's Number One Fan
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I lawled.
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Rhonstet
Terracotta Army
Posts: 207
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I can imagine a bunch of scientist type guys, who look suspiciously like the cast of Monty Python, standing around a lab.
"So what can we do about the wave of obesity sweeping the western world?"
"...Maybe we could... shoot fat people with a laser!"
"Of course, a laser that makes people thin!"
"...Yes, that's what I meant."
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We now return to your regularly scheduled foolishness, already in progress.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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Are they going to market a home version?
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WayAbvPar
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I can just see it now- there will be tanning booth- like rooms with a sturdy toilet in the middle. Sit down, get bombarded by lasers, then *ahem* excrete all the excess fat.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Are they going to market a home version? I hope so?
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Are they going to market a home version? I hope so? I bet you will be able to find some half-assed instructions on the internet soon. I wonder if insurance will cover the trip to the ER from a botched home fat lasing?
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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They should build it into the Playstation 3. Probably wouldn't drive the cost up much.
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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"While this laboratory research sounds exciting, we are a long way from knowing whether or not laser therapy of this nature could be developed into an effective treatment for people with heart disease."
Pie in the sky article. This is the kind of spin scientists put on their work to garner funding. While I can see the potential for this sort of application, I'm not overly enthusiatic about its implementation just yet. Far too many variables to consider.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Variable focus lasers are getting to be pretty common (Blu-Ray, HD-DVD, numerous specialized apps) so that end of it is no problem. Actually performing this on a live subject without causing real damage? Not my field.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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What field would that be? Fat Zapper?
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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Variable focus lasers are getting to be pretty common (Blu-Ray, HD-DVD, numerous specialized apps) so that end of it is no problem. Actually performing this on a live subject without causing real damage? Not my field.
My background is somewhere between biosensor tech, medicinal chemistry, and photophysics. While I can safely state that a transdermal laser is a pretty common bit of technology, I've always had my concerns about the lack of good control studies. People are so Gung-ho to see the potential good of these lasers that they fail to consider the negative effects. High intensity radiation will always have a downside. The fact that we don't know how to measure that negative effect doesn't disprove its existence.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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Are we sure the article was not simply a way to get a woman's bum in a 'legitimate' news picture?
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Are we sure the article was not simply a way to get a woman's bum in a 'legitimate' news picture?
If so, it was a very sad effort. Then again, it is the BBC.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE.
I just put this under a dilbert cartoon on a slide for my next lecture. Now if you could generate more interesting bits, I could take the rest of the day off!
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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I cribbed it from The Boondocks. I'm so unorginal.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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They should build it into the Playstation 3. Probably wouldn't drive the cost up much.
lollerskates.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE.
I just put this under a dilbert cartoon on a slide for my next lecture. Now if you could generate more interesting bits, I could take the rest of the day off! Gin Rummy: I always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. Riley: What? Gin Rummy: Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn't exist. Riley: What? Gin Rummy: What country are you from? Riley: What? Gin Rummy: 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in 'What'? Riley: What? Gin Rummy: English, motherfucker! Do you speak it? Riley: Yeah. Gin Rummy: So you understand the words I'm saying to you! Riley: Yeah. Gin Rummy: Well, what I'm saying is that there are known knowns and known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns that we know we don't know. Riley: What? Gin Rummy: Say what again! Say what again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more time! Yes, Gin Rummy is voiced by Samuel L. Jackson.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10966
eat a bag of dicks
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And his dialogue was provide by your friend and mine, Donald Rummy.as far as the fat thing goes, i prefer the old ways... 
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Pococurante
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2060
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Riley: What? Ok time to watch Pulp Fiction again. "That *is* a tasty burger!"
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