Box office roundup

[dusematic]

#2 - The Benchwarmers, Week 1
Weekend gross: $20.5m
Screen count: 3274
Budget: $33m

Rob Schneider was an ordinary derpty-derp, when one day, derpa derp!  And now, derpty-derpty derpa doo!  Anyway, yeah him and David Spade.  Not a bad opening, really.  It's as much as Deuce Bigalow 2 made in it's entire run.  If it has any legs, it should end up pretty profitable.

First of all, you just aren't funny. Secondly, The Benchwarmers didn't screen in advance for critics so it's doubtful word of mouth will carry this movie beyond the first weekend.

I think he's HIGHlarious.  Did I mention I'm his biggest fan?

[schild]

#2 - The Benchwarmers, Week 1
Weekend gross: $20.5m
Screen count: 3274
Budget: $33m

Rob Schneider was an ordinary derpty-derp, when one day, derpa derp! And now, derpty-derpty derpa doo! Anyway, yeah him and David Spade. Not a bad opening, really. It's as much as Deuce Bigalow 2 made in it's entire run. If it has any legs, it should end up pretty profitable.

First of all, you just aren't funny. Secondly, The Benchwarmers didn't screen in advance for critics so it's doubtful word of mouth will carry this movie beyond the first weekend.

I think he's HIGHlarious. Did I mention I'm his biggest fan?

Yes.

[WindupAtheist]

When a movie doesn't screen in advance for critics it is usually because the movie is putrid shit. Word of mouth from the viewers would then back up the fact the movie is putrid shit. Thank you for playing.

No shit, I thought it was fucking Citizen Kane until Shockeye told me they didn't screen it for the critics.  Why don't you just say it will have poor word of mouth because it looks like it sucks ass next time?

[Margalis]

I've never understood the point of this sort of shit. Movies you see in the theater are more and more irrelevant with each passing day. Why not post TV rating or best-seller lists?

Who really gives a shit what movie came in #1 this week? Am I missing whatever is supposed to make this exciting and interesting information?

[WindupAtheist]

The fun part is when some douchebag spends eighty million dollars making a movie, and it limps in with twenty million in grosses.  Or when an over-the-hill actress throws her mummified pussy out there and has to watch the world turn its nose up at it.

[Llava]

The fun part is when some douchebag spends eighty million dollars making a movie, and it limps in with twenty million in grosses.  Or when an over-the-hill actress throws her mummified pussy out there and has to watch the world turn its nose up at it.

WindupSchadenfreude?

(Spellchecker doesn't have schadenfreude.)

[dusematic]

I've never understood the point of this sort of shit. Movies you see in the theater are more and more irrelevant with each passing day. Why not post TV rating or best-seller lists?

Who really gives a shit what movie came in #1 this week? Am I missing whatever is supposed to make this exciting and interesting information?

Why are you guys being such dicks? Movies are just as interesting as Digital Devil Saga 3 or Tokimeki Memorial.  He's just providing discussion and an attempt at humor which I find successful. 

[Samwise]

If you don't like it, start your own thread about something you find more interesting.  Then WUN can come post in it saying it's a lame thing to start a thread about, and the balance will be preserved.

[WindupAtheist]

tits

[schild]

I sorta agree with Dusematic. This is a pretty productive thing for WUA. I'm almost proud of him. My rittle boy is growing up. On that note, there won't be a DDS 3 and Tokimeki Memorial sucks.

[Llava]

I also agree.

Movies may not matter to you.

Personally, I don't give a shit about The Shield or Fantasy Sports.

[schild]

I don't give a shit about MMORPGs. Well, not at this very moment at least. They don't deserve my time. But we'll see, I think I'm the one reviewing Auto Assault.... Seriously.

[Signe]

I don't give a shit about MMORPGs. Well, not at this very moment at least. They don't deserve my time. But we'll see, I think I'm the one reviewing Auto Assault.... Seriously.

Yay!  You've had it too easy.  Now you suffer.  Finding a job, two console games a day, Auto Assult... your cup runneth over.  (just not in the same way as my avatard)

[Murgos]

Why are you guys being such dicks? Movies are just as interesting as Digital Devil Saga 3 or Tokimeki Memorial.  He's just providing discussion and an attempt at humor which I find successful. 

I think you missed the point of this site.  Someone posts something and then the rest of us kill time by either baiting them into a frothing rage, ignoring thier disscussion and starting a tangental one (probably in an attempt at baiting the OP), picking apart thier point in psychotic detail (more baiting), grieflinking (err, more baiting), or just generally trolling.

The humor and discussion of the original post you like so was entertaining for all of thirty seconds, Shockeye (and by extension you) have provided several times that amount of entertainment with a simple one liner of no particular merit.  I think you should be thankful.

[dusematic]

You're gay (and by extension, so is your post).

[Murgos]

You're gay (and by extension, so is your post).

Now you're getting it.

[HaemishM]

Feel the love. And by "love" I mean frothing irrational murderous rage.

[dusematic]

I feel it.  The love.  For cock.

[WindupAtheist]

This is the second largest, second geekiest, and second flamiest board out of the two at which I post this.  By all means, have at me.   

[Shockeye]

This is the second largest, second geekiest, and second flamiest board out of the two at which I post this.  By all means, have at me.   

Well, as I learned in grade school: First worst, second best, third raspberry cow turd.

[Hoax]

Word of mouth is created by viewers, not critics.

When a movie doesn't screen in advance for critics it is usually because the movie is putrid shit. Word of mouth from the viewers would then back up the fact the movie is putrid shit. Thank you for playing.

It's a Rob Schneider movie, who cares? He had a momentary bout with funny in Deuce Bigalow and the rest of the shit he's touched has Not Been Funny. Critic screenings would have been a waste of money.

Calling bullshit on that one, the Hot Chick was watchable if not quite funny.

[Yegolev]

Why are you guys being such dicks?

Are you being serious?

Also, I don't give a shit about most movies, especially the ones I am "supposed" to care about, but I find that I enjoy this thread.  WUA has finally found the correct meds, I guess: the ones that entertain me.

[dusematic]

Yeah, I actually was.  When you say something like "what's the point of this?" you're being dumb and not funny.  I mean, c'mon, it's no secret that certain people have it out for WUA.  It's not like I'm super pissed off about it, but a spade's a spade.

[WindupAtheist]

Hahaha.  That's nice of you, Dusematic, but for comparison here's an exchange from one of my old box office threads on the other site.

No, it's because in all of these threads of yours you have demonstrated the capacity of being a jerkish nimrodic asshole who seems to only care about how much money films make and who they star, as well as how much of a wiz-bang factor they have to determine their quality. I could care less about what your actual opinions are: it's more about how you throw it around you like a dead cat.

Also, frankly, you have no "style," other than simply being a jerk. Being a jerk for style is what lazy oafs do when they're not creative enough to come up with anything funny or clever. What, are you trying to emulate that hack Maddox or some shit like that?

And "vaguely disappointing"? You haven't even fucking seen the God damn film yet, you asshole. So until then, just shut the fuck up, kind sir...

Do any of you primates see the title at the top of this page? Is this the "tenth weekly artistic merit roundup" thread? No, it most certainly is not. There are two sides to the movie business: The creative side, and the money side.

THESE THREADS ARE ABOUT THE MONEY SIDE! YES, I AM GOING TO FIXATE ON WHO STARS IN WHAT AND HOW MUCH MONEY IT MADE!

If you want to expound upon how "Rumors of a Brokeback Geisha in Munich" was a touching piece of art that made you laugh and cry and jack off to the closing credits, by all means, please feel free. But if it comes back from it's opening weekend with a gross of two dollars and thirty cents, or just something less than whatever the hell I thought it should have made, I'm going to jump all over it sight unseen. Why? Because I don't need to see it to know how much money it made! AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCKING THREAD IS ABOUT?!!

This place is a cozy little den of lovable curmudgeons by comparison.

[Llava]

You shouldn't be such an asshole, they'd like you better.

That's why everyone loves me.

[dusematic]

You're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do.  You're dead to me.

[Llava]

Who, me?

Certainly you can't mean me.

Everyone loves me.

Perhaps some people don't love me as much as they love the cock, but they still love me.

[WindupAtheist]

Hot off the presses.

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Back at it again.  Two new releases in the top ten this week, one a hit and the other a stinker.  Here we go, numbers from Mojo as always.

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#1 - Scary Movie 4, Week 1
Weekend gross: $40.2m
Screen count: 3602
Budget: $45m

SM3 opened with $48m, but this is still very good, especially considering the budget.  I'll root for it just because it has Leslie Nielsen, who is eighty goddamned years old.  Since I have a habit of throwing out goofy-ass ideas for movies when I do these things, I'll toss this one out there:  A sequel to Forbidden Planet that takes place fifty years after the original, with a place in it for Nielsen to reprise his role.

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#2 - Ice Age: The Meltdown, Week 3
Weekend gross: $20m (-40.8%)
Gross to date: $147.2m
Screen count: 3873 (-96)
Budget: $80m

Still plugging away, still making bank in it's third week.  What's really funny here is that even at this point, it positively trounced the opening of Disney's The Wild.

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#3 - The Benchwarmers, Week 2
Weekend gross: $9.9m (-49.6%)
Gross to date: $35.8m
Screen count: 3282 (+8)
Budget: $33m

A fifty percent dropoff is on the high side of what I expected, but in two weeks it's already recouped production costs.  Everything from here on out can cover promotion, and they'll make their real money on DVD.  Schneider's The Animal opened at about the same in 2001 and finished at $57m, for what it's worth.

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#4 - The Wild, Week 1
Weekend gross: $9.6m
Screen count: 2854
Budget: $80m

Owned in the fucking face.  Toys R Us declined to make toys for this flick, after execs saw an early screening and thought it looked like shit.  Good call.  Critical reaction can be summed up as "What the fuck?  We just saw this movie last year when it was called Madagascar, only this version sucks more!"  Walt would be spinning in his grave if he weren't frozen stiff.

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#5 - Take the Lead, Week 2
Weekend gross: $6.7m (-43.7%)
Gross to date: $22m
Screen count: 3009
Budget: Not available

Well the dropoff was nothing like the plummeting crash I expected, so that's good, right?  Right?  Given the screen count, someone in charge probably expected more from this than they're getting, though I have no idea why.  Still, I'd love to know the budget.  They could still get by with their skins intact, if not actually make money, if they kept it well under control.

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#6 - Inside Man, Week 4
Weekend gross: $6.4m (-29.6%)
Gross to date: $75.4m
Screen count: 2477 (-390)
Budget: $45m

Spike Lee's most successful movie ever, by far.  Maybe he'll calm the fuck down now, because being an Angry Black Man doesn't work very well when you're also a nerd.  It's also a pretty good showing for Denzel Washington.  Man on Fire, John Q, and Training day all finished in the seventies, and this one is still going.

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#7 - Lucky Number Slevin, Week 2
Weekend gross: $4.7m (-32.4%)
Gross to date: $14.3m
Screen count: 1989 (+5)
Budget: Not available

Again, Josh Hartnett?  They could have advertised Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman playing Scrabble and made more money than this, but they went and gave Hartnett top billing.  Oh well, guess what Josh?  They'll still be putting Willis and Freeman in movies after this.  You may not be so lucky.

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#8 - Thank You For Smoking, Week 5
Weekend gross: $4.5m (+94.5%)
Gross to date: $11.5m
Screen count: 1015 (+716)
Budget: $6.5m

Triumph of the small budget.  Even on a per-screen basis this isn't really packing them in THAT much, but who cares?  It's all free money at this point.

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#9 - Failure to Launch, Week 6
Weekend gross: $2.6m (-36.9%)
Gross to date: $83.1m
Screen count: 1950 (-666)
Budget: $50m

I'm done trying to think of things to say about this movie.  It's inoffensive and moderately successful.  Good for those involved.  Next.

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#10 - V for Vendetta, Week 5
Weekend gross: $2.2m (-34.7%)
Gross to date: $66m
Screen count: 1380 (-623)
Budget: $54m

Another one I won't miss when it slips from the chart next week.  It wasn't a stinkbomb, but they have to have hoped for more from it.  The Wachowskis suck.  Also, just for the hell of it I'll state that Equilibrium > Matrix Trilogy.

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*SPECIAL BONUS SCHADENFREUDE ENTRY*
(Would I be using that word if it weren't for Lisa Simpson?  Doubtful.)

#27 - Basic Instinct 2, Week 3
Weekend gross: $0.17m
Gross to date: $5.8m
Screen count: 323 (-1130)
Budget: Not available

A few things that finished higher than Basic Instinct 2 this week were...  The tenth weekend of The Pink Panther, the sixth weekend of Shaggy Dog, and the seventh weekend of Deep Sea 3-D, a friggin' IMAX picture.  Look at the screen count as theater owners flee the sinking ship.

[Abagadro]

One problem with your interpretation of box office is that comments concerning films "recouping" their production costs are based on 100% of the grosses.  You aren't taking into account the amount of money held by the theaters, which can be anywhere from 30-50%.  A film usually has to gross at least (depending upon its marketing costs) 200% of its production costs to be profitable at the box office release stage.  This of course doesn't include TV and DVD (or any other subsidiary rights) which can end up making a fair amount.

[shiznitz]

One problem with your interpretation of box office is that comments concerning films "recouping" their production costs are based on 100% of the grosses.  You aren't taking into account the amount of money held by the theaters, which can be anywhere from 30-50%.  A film usually has to gross at least (depending upon its marketing costs) 200% of its production costs to be profitable at the box office release stage.  This of course doesn't include TV and DVD (or any other subsidiary rights) which can end up making a fair amount.

30-50% is generous. The big movies leave the theaters with as little at 15% for the first two weeks. Your point holds, regardless.

[Margalis]

This of course doesn't include TV and DVD (or any other subsidiary rights) which can end up making a fair amount.

Most movies lose money at the box office. They make money from DVD sales, merchandise, product placement, deals with fast good restaurants, etc. Movies are essentially advertisings for the DVD as well as a place for advertisers to sell their wares. The actual box office take is more irrelevant with each passing day.

The money isn't in showing movies in the theater, and it hasn't been for a while.

I'm all for discussing movies. Movie grosses? Not so much. There is a distinction.

[shiznitz]

There is a dstinction but also a close linkage. Most movie economics are related to the box office performance. There are plenty of movies that flaunt whatever the rule of thumb is, certainly, but there is a rule of thumb. If a movie does $100M at the box office, that figure is used to determine the first print run for the DVD. A $200M box office performance will get a bigger initial DVD print run than a $100M box office performance.

[Abagadro]

As I understand it, cable and broadcast TV rights are also significantly determined by the gross run of the film unless it is a big movie that has been "presold."

[Margalis]

The preselling might explain why Catwoman was all over the TV when I was in a hotel in Arizona.

[WindupAtheist]

Three new releases in the top ten this week. One is a hit, one is a disappointment, and one is an unmitigated flop. All numbers from Mojo as per usual, so here we go.

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#1 - Silent Hill, Week 1
Weekend gross: $20.1m
Screen count: 2926
Production budget: $50m

I hadn't been paying much attention to this one previously, since it looked like either another cheap craptastic horror flick, or something by Uwe Boll. This weekend, though, I had a couple people tell me they had gone to see it, and that it was genuinely entertaining. Lo and behold, I see today that it's come back with a respectable twenty million dollar opening. If it has decent legs, it'll do pretty well in the final accounting.

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#2 - Scary Movie 4, Week 2
Weekend gross: $16.8m (-58.2%)
Screen count: 3674 (+72)
Gross to date: $67.4m
Production budget: $45m

Dropoff percentages don't mean everything, part one. Despite a second-weekend hit closer to sixty percent than fifty, this flick has already made as much as V for Vendetta has in it's entire run, and on a smaller budget to boot. Scary Movie 5 is already a certainty, as if you had any doubts.

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#3 - The Sentinel, Week 1
Weekend gross: $14.3m
Screen count: 2819
Production budget: Not available

Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland, Kim Basinger and some others in a political thriller about some Secret Service crap, blah blah blah. I don't know what they spent on this, but it doesn't read like a cheap movie. An opening weekend this small has to be puckering someone's asshole out in Hollywood.

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#4 - Ice Age: The Meltdown, Week 4
Weekend gross: $13.2m (-33.7%)
Screen count: 3540 (-333)
Gross to date: $168.3m
Production budget: $80m

We live in the all-time golden age of American feature animation. It used to be that Disney would push something out the door every couple years, and that was it. Every once in a while someone else would try, but the results never went anywhere. Now Pixar, Dreamworks, and Fox are all putting out high-quality work that makes buckets of money. I just wish more of it was stuff I wanted to see.

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#5 - The Wild, Week 2
Weekend gross: $8.3m (-14%)
Screen count: 2854 (no change)
Gross to date: $22.2m
Production budget: $80m

Of course, that doesn't mean ALL feature animation is going to make money. Dropoff percentages don't mean everything, part two. That miniscule 14% fall sure would look nice if the damn movie had made any bank in the first place.

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#6 - The Benchwarmers, Week 3
Weekend gross: $7.2m (-26.8%)
Screen count: 3094 (-188)
Gross to date: $47.1m
Production budget: $33m

Well it's not displaying what I would call a great deal of stamina, but it is steadily plugging along towards solid profitability. It's already beaten all of Spade's neo-Laurel and Hardy flicks with the late Chris Farley, and will likely end up Schneider's biggest success outside of the first Deuce Bigalow.

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#7 - Take the Lead, Week 3
Weekend gross: $4.1m (-38.4%)
Screen count: 2413 (-596)
Gross to date: $29.4m
Production budget: Not available

Thirty million dollars is all anyone should have realistically expected out of a hip-hop/ballroom drama starring Zorro. I really want to see this movie's budget, just to learn whether those cutting the checks were realistic or not.

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#8 - Inside Man, Week 5
Weekend gross: $3.7m (-41.7%)
Screen count: 2021 (-456)
Gross to date: $81.3m
Production budget: $45m

Winding down now, but has already made plenty of money. Been writing about it for a month now, not going to talk about it anymore.

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#9 - American Dreamz, Week 1
Weekend gross: $3.6m
Screen count: 1500
Production budget: $17m

President Dennis Quaid goes on American Idol, hilarity ensues. Dead on arrival. I blame the Z in the title.

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#10 - Friends with Money, Week 3
Weekend gross: $3.1 (+329.8%)
Screen count: 991 (+949)
Production budget: Not available

Jennifer Aniston in another one of those little movies that slowly creeps up from limited release. Does anyone reall care?

And alas, Basic Instinct 2 is completely gone from theaters now, so I have no special target to track for mockery. Perhaps the Robin Williams flick RV will be my next project, as the commercials I've seen for it look utterly devoid of humor.