Chappelle's first post-meltdown T.V. interview... on Oprah

[Mr_PeaCH]

This Friday on Oprah.  No shit.  What's the line on how far into the show they reference Dave's "Oprah's got my seed!" sketch?  Or any of the Chappelle Theory conspiracy?  You have been warned.

[schild]

I was talking to Ookii about this last night. He should come dressed as Buck Nasty or whatever pimp he played and the interview should go like this:

O - "So, what made you turn down $50M.

Buck Nasty - "Right to business. Ok. Honestly? I knew your bitchass would pay me $50M to come and give an answer. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go give money to poor white folk."

I've always hated Oprah. I can only hope he rips into her for being the leader of a cult of bored housewives.

[jpark]

I've always hated Oprah. I can only hope he rips into her for being the leader of a cult of bored housewives.

As opposed to a leader of bored gamers ?   :-D

[schild]

Matt, here's the problem. You don't understand gamers.

[Ironwood]

 :-D

[HaemishM]

Maybe he'll slap her and say "I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!" Or have sex with her right there.

Or it'll probably be one of those boring ass Oprah interviews with lots of touchy feely and shit, unless she finds out he lied in his book or something.

How the fuck did Oprah somehow become a bastion of truth in this goddamn country? FUCK.

[Miasma]

I can't believe I'm going to have to tape Oprah.  I feel dirty and nauseous.

[Soln]

pfft.  He should go as Tyrone.

[Strazos]

He should mess up her couch, Rick James style.

[Llava]

I swear to god, if he says "Fuck your couch, nigga!" to Oprah.... I might just explode from the funny.

[schild]

He won't. For some reason everyone respects Oprah.

I think she's just a hideous leech.

[Viin]

They only respect her while in front of a camera.

[Fabricated]

If Oprah is a bastion of honesty on TV, the interview should be like this:

Oprah: So why DID you quit the show?
Dave: I ran out of material. Also, I enjoy this showbiz phony shit, so I went to Africa took the 10 cent tour and claimed to have a spiritual revelation.
Oprah: CARS FOR EVERYONE!

[CmdrSlack]

I caught some of it while my wife was at the doc for one of her prenatal checks.  Apparently, the room where they do fetal heart monitors just has Oprah and The View on in the morning, probably cause they figure that's the target audience.

It was a pretty stupid interview, Dave just basically complained about money and fame and how he wanted more control.  But he also said that he'd be willing to go back to Comedy Central.  Then they plugged the "Dave Chappelle's Block Party" movie thing he recently made and that was it.

[HaemishM]

Anybody got a link to video of it?

[Signe]

I don't watch her show, but what's wrong with her?  Why don't we like her?  I'm just wondering if it's because of something she did or because she's rich and has a cruddy talk show.

[HaemishM]

Being rich, having a cruddy talk show, drowning us in weepy touchy-feely psychobabble and inflicting people like Dr. Phil on us.

[Signe]

Yikes!  Dr. Phil! 

[Xanthippe]

I don't watch her show, but what's wrong with her?  Why don't we like her?  I'm just wondering if it's because of something she did or because she's rich and has a cruddy talk show.

I don't like her because she has an amazingly overinflated opinion of herself as the Messiah to Women Everywhere.  IMO, she was a better actress than interviewer.  She rarely asks tough questions, except when she hung that poor bastard out to dry in an incredible display of self-interest where she was protecting her label.  A great deal of her advice is just shitty.

I can't stand to watch her show.  Can't.  Stand.  It.

[Signe]

This is kind of strange.  Although I've not seen much of her show, in fact I don't think I've ever watched an entire one (I'm not big on talk shows), everything I've seen, read or heard about her has indicated she's a very genuine person who is sincerely concerned with issues regarding women and children, especially African and African American.  She's built education centres and schools, does that Christmas in South Africa thingy every year, has that Angel Network which is supposed to be one of the charities which makes sure that the bulk of money raised is used for the charity and not for "other" stuff....

I'm not entirely sure she's a very good target for anyone's hate.

[Xanthippe]

Perhaps you should watch her show, all the way through.  From the incredibly egotisical themesong part all the way to the end.

I don't hate her, as a person.  I don't like her show and won't watch it because I think it's a waste of my time.  She annoys me.

Mother Theresa annoyed me too.

[HaemishM]

She does many good things. Doesn't mean she can't annoy the everliving shit out of me.

And, Dr. Phil.

[Strazos]

I also dislike the fact that she thinks she's some kind of authority on good books. Last I checked, she only has a simple communications degree - by no means any kind of expertise in literature. Simply, she's a famous person giving support to a particular book, and I don't like the credit she gives herself.

Also, she's annoying.

[Paelos]

I also dislike the fact that she thinks she's some kind of authority on good books. Last I checked, she only has a simple communications degree - by no means any kind of expertise in literature. Simply, she's a famous person giving support to a particular book, and I don't like the credit she gives herself.

Also, she's annoying.

And yet, if I wrote a novel that landed on her list. Set...for...life.

[Strazos]

So make it gushy and padantic. And throw in a thread about a young girl "overcoming." That should clinch it.

[MrHat]

[ClydeJr]

There was a big thing a while back where Oprah had some genetic testing done on herself and she claimed that her ancestors where Zulu.

Last night on PBS they had a show where a guy (he was Head Honcho for African-American studies at a major university) was tracing the roots of himself and several other African-American celebrities including Oprah. He first tried to trace their lineage through genealogy. He then got genetic samples and had them tested against the genetics of different groups in Africa. When he got to Oprah, it turns out she has no genetic similarity to any Zulu group. When she heard that, she had a strange look on her face. I imagine part of it was finding out where your ancestors come from but I imagine part of it was "Fuck! I told everyone I was Zulu!"

[SnakeCharmer]

I also dislike the fact that she thinks she's some kind of authority on good books. Last I checked, she only has a simple communications degree - by no means any kind of expertise in literature. Simply, she's a famous person giving support to a particular book, and I don't like the credit she gives herself.

Also, she's annoying.

Celebrities are like that.  All are authorities on everything, from what you read to politics, to foreign policy, to what brand of underwear I should wear.  And people buy into it hook, line, and sinker.

I'm still waiting on Alec Baldwin to leave the country...

[Righ]

Celebrities are like that.  All are authorities on everything, from what you read to politics, to foreign policy, to what brand of underwear I should wear. 

They'd fit right in here on F13. We should be celebrities too.

[Strazos]

They'd fit right in here on F13. We should be celebrities too.

I assume the Money Hats are in the mail?

[HaemishM]

Celebrities are like that.  All are authorities on everything, from what you read to politics, to foreign policy, to what brand of underwear I should wear. 

They'd fit right in here on F13. We should be celebrities too.

But I AM a celebrity. Apparently Ubzbeks love them some Haemish.

[schild]

Celebrities are like that.  All are authorities on everything, from what you read to politics, to foreign policy, to what brand of underwear I should wear. 

They'd fit right in here on F13. We should be celebrities too.

But I AM a celebrity. Apparently Ubzbeks love them some Haemish.

And though my brand of fame is infamy, just ask Poseiden. With 3 tiny paragraphs I've destroyed a game and pissed off thousands.

[HaemishM]

It would have been millions, but the game was Star Wars Galaxies. You should target WoW with your hatred, you'd destroy China in 5 paragraphs flat!

[Ironwood]

But I AM a celebrity. Apparently Ubzbeks love them some Haemish.

There's a small internet cafe in Springburn that worships you as a God.

[Yegolev]

I'm still waiting on Alec Baldwin to leave the country...

One of the reasons I like Johnny Depp so much is because he didn't just say America sucks, he moved to France.  Whether we agree or not, I totally respect him.

I can't say anything else about Alec without breaking the Baldwin Online NDA.