OUCH!!!

[Yegolev]

My brother broke my nose when I was 6 by tripping me as I ran down the hall to my room. I got my revenge by dropping a large piece of coral on his head while he was watching TV the next day.

Do you live in Bikini Bottom?

[HaemishM]

I remember it clearly but I don't know what I was thinking.

When I was 5, I stuck a paper clip into a electrical outlet. I don't remember much else that day, nor do I remember why the fuck I did it.

[Righ]

Around a similar age, I tried to help out by removing a plug that was stuck into the wall outlet, which my mother had been unable to remove. Because, you know, five year old boys are stronger than mom. The cord had come free from the the appliance, leaving just a plug and cord connected to the wall socket. I grabbed the power cord like you would a rope, wrapped it around my little hand and pulled as hard as I could. The plug didn't come out of the socket, but the cord slipped through my hands until it got to the bare wires at the end, at which point wire and flesh became one, and the house power had to be shut off before I could be cut free and taken to hospital. The scars are quite prominent to this day.

[schild]

I remember it clearly but I don't know what I was thinking.

When I was 5, I stuck a paper clip into a electrical outlet. I don't remember much else that day, nor do I remember why the fuck I did it.

I did the exact same thing. I believe it's a rite of passage.

[Polysorbate80]

Never poked anything into an outlet.  My childhood blackouts were the result of head trauma, such as kamikaze tricycle rides down the side of a high, steep embankment or foolishly walking directly behind a kid who was about to swing a bat at a baseball...

[Yegolev]

I remember it clearly but I don't know what I was thinking.

When I was 5, I stuck a paper clip into a electrical outlet. I don't remember much else that day, nor do I remember why the fuck I did it.

I did the exact same thing. I believe it's a rite of passage.

Bare fingertip.  Very young.  Never again.

[Llava]

I remember it clearly but I don't know what I was thinking.

When I was 5, I stuck a paper clip into a electrical outlet. I don't remember much else that day, nor do I remember why the fuck I did it.

I did the exact same thing. I believe it's a rite of passage.

Bare fingertip.  Very young.  Never again.

Same here, though mine was on accident rather than due to curiosity. Grandparent's house, outlet on the floor, left uncovered, about 5 feet in front of the TV, pretty much right in the range for a young kid sitting in front of the TV and leaning back using his hands to hold himself up to nail it dead on.

It was interesting.  It actually didn't hurt initially.  Just "bzzzzz", going through your body.  Then it stopped, and I figured out what happened, and about a minute later I suddenly had a very dull pain that was fairly intense (or seemed so at the time) which lasted for a decent while.

All in all, it wasn't so awful.

[Hanzii]

knitting pin at five.

And then there was at 10 when my interest in gadgets started and I tried to fix a radio... not thet I knew a damn thing about, what made radios go... but I did learn in the future to unplug the suckers, before messing around with the insides.

[Megrim]

I broke my right arm twice, left arm once, left leg twice and right leg once. All before i was 10 years old. I think i was a very active child.

[Signe]

I've broken my nose twice.  I won't bore you with the details but the first time involved sleep walking and steps, and the second involved climbing a tree to be mean to a raccoon.  I was also concussed that time and don't remember if I reached the bad raccoon or not.  I'm assuming I didn't because I'm still alive.

[ClydeJr]

My grandparents had a homemade electric fence running around their backyard and garden. It was pretty much a thick bare wire running around on posts about 10 inches above the ground. I think they had it to keep varmits/people out of their garden. We knew to be careful around the fence and step high over it. I was around 6 years old and I decided that I wanted to know what it felt to touch it. I don't really remember too much about it except my body jerked really hard and I fell back on my ass.

When my parent's were having their house built, the builders left a long piece of vinyl flooring stuff on the back porch. I rained the night before and the vinyl was really slick. My 7 year old self decided that I had to run and jump of the flooring and slide across it like I was surfing because it would be so cool. What was not cool was my feet slipping out from under me and cracking my head on the concrete. Luckily I only suffered a big painful bump on the back of my head.

[WayAbvPar]

Ahh, head cracking. I have a couple of good stories about that.

I went to visit my little brother in college in Bellingham. He lived with 3 other good friends of mine in a house in the north end of town. One night we had a very large toga party, and I was busily getting drunk and having a good time. One of the housemates discovers I hadn't yet seen the attic, and drags me to one of the rooms to see it (along with a couple of chick we were chatting up). As I continue with my witty banter, he climbed up the ladder on the wall to open the attic. The attic 'door' was just a large unattached piece of ceiling that lifted up. My buddy, being the drunken idiot he is, mishandles the door. It bounces off his shoulder and then onto my unsuspecting head, driving me to my knees (I didn't even spill my beer!). I knelt there, dazed, when I saw one of the girls look at me in horror. I went down onto all four over the cat's litter box (hidden in the room for the party) and watched as a giant stream of blood ran from my head into the litter box. Owwie!  A couple of towels full of ice followed my many more beers, and I was as good as new (other than the nice scar I have). I probably should have been in an ER instead of a toga party, but it was too much fun to miss!

The other story is much shorter. I was helping my dad and his buddy move a washing machine out of the basement of an apartment house they owned. There was a low-hanging beam in the door way that was about 5' 6'' ( I am 6'1'' for reference). As we were about to exit the door, I shifted my grip in the washer and stood up straight- directly underneath the beam. Knocked me fucking goofy, and I think I am a couple of millimeters shorter to this day 

[Der Helm]

Ahh, head cracking. I have a couple of good stories about that
*snip*

The avatar makes much more sense now ... 

[Furiously]

I've broken my nose twice.  I won't bore you with the details but the first time involved sleep walking and steps, and the second involved climbing a tree to be mean to a raccoon.  I was also concussed that time and don't remember if I reached the bad raccoon or not.  I'm assuming I didn't because I'm still alive.

My guess is he took over your body and is living in your chest cavity to this day.

[Signe]

I have a cavity in my chest?  Dammit.  What sort of dentist do I see for that?

[Furiously]

Para-psychologist.

[UD_Delt]

I can add to the head cracking stories with my own stupidity...

Hanging around in the parking lot of our high school one day after school let out one of my friends pulls his car around and I decide to get in his way. Well he bumps me with the car and I decide to go ahead and leap on the hood of his car. This prompts him to gun it and he speeds off across the parking lot with me attached to the hood. Once he hits about 20-25 mph I decide i better grab on to something and grab hold of the windshield wipers. Of course this freaks him out and he yells "Don't do that you'll rip them off." For whatever stupid reason I decide to be more concerned about his car than my own well-being and let go as requested. At the same time he hits the brakes, my heals hit the ground, I do a complete rotation bounce off my head, and eventually come to a rest in a half kneeling, half standing position.

He jumps out of the car to run over to see if I'm ok. Of course putting the car into park first would have been a good idea as he has to dive back into the car and stop it as it's just about to hit me/run me over again. One of my other friends comes running over yelling about how that was the coolest and most acrobatic thing he's ever seen until he realizes that I actually did the back flip, off of my dome, completely on accident and I'm now wandering around in a bloody daze.

Of course the next thing I actually remember after hitting my head is waking up in the ambulance and hearing the paramedic relate the fake story my friend told him about how I was sitting in his car as he was starting to drive but the door hadn't closed all the way and I fell out. I decided to go with that so as to avoid as much trouble as possible.

I still managed to get a 3 day in school suspension for the whole thing so I guess the "cover-up" didn't work as well as we hoped.



My other stupid injury was a fractured thumb due to a golden-tee accident but we won't get into that. Sure enough the same friend from the above story broke his hand in a similar golden-tee accident a month later.

[Furiously]

I must have been about 5 or 7. My sister was climbing over the gate at our grandparents and I opened it. She said it was fun and that I should try - it was just like a ride. Climb up the 6 foot wooden gate, start to get positioned and she slams it. I fall right on my head. Bled like a headwound. Being a stupid kid a week later I picked the scab and drenched my bed in blood. I have a nice scar/odd lump on the back of my head to remind me my sister is evil.

Car accident a few years ago my glasses ripped a nice gash in my forehead, I remember coming to, and feeling the blood dripping down my face, but seeing something shooting out of my forehead. I must have been getting about 2 feet per squirt. Not wanting to lose to much of my blood I clamped my hand on my head. I got the bleeding stopped about the time I got to the emergency room when they peeled my hand off my head and started the fountain again.

[kaid]

The only real bad shock I have ever gotten is when I worked at a golf course and I was running the golf ball washer. Picture a big plastic tub with what looks like a big ice auger in it filled with water.

Due to the friction of the golf balls you need to tighten all the bolts on the motor before you start the sucker up or you rish the motor turning and not the auger part. Well I was manning the metal collector bin while my coworker was running it and feeding more golf balls into it. What I didn't notice is that my coworker did not do the requisite tightening of the screws. Well after a bout a minute I hear a pop and the motor part of the thing starts spinning fast which striped some wires and caused it to short.

I was holding onto this metal collector bin one minute and the next minute I was on my back wondering what the hell just happened.

I am just glad to this day that the shock from the short blew me off the bin and did not make my fingers clench and hold onto the bin or that probably would have been really really bad.

kaid

[Jobu]

I've always thought this one was good.

Skiing once when I was about 15, I narrowly avoided a particularly clueless skier and ended up ramming right into a permanent snowmaking machine. I snapped my femur in half, clean all the way through. Ski patrol came up while I was buried in the snow, and set it on the mountain side. With no anaesthetic or anything. I actually tried to punch the guy who set it, it hurt so bad. I think they were expecting that, because his aids had already pinned me down to prevent me from getting a good swing in. Most if it is really hazy, but my friends maintain that I spent a few moments whining for "my daddy". I don't doubt it, hehe. Lemme tell you, the bumpy ride down the mountain coupled with uncontrollable shivers from the cold (they had cut off my pants at the crotch) wasn't very pleasant.

Before the injury, I used to run cross country, with about a 5 and a half minute mile. It took me over a year to completely walk normal again, and I've never been able to run as well. They hollowed out the femur and put a metal pin through it, so I have a wicked purple scar on my ass where they guided it in through near my hip. Interestingly, when I got back to school my biology class started on human anatomy. Our teacher had a preserved femur that he passed around, and explained to us that it is the strongest bone in your body... comparable to reinforced steel. My aunt the doctor also tells me I'm lucky I can even walk after she looked at the X-rays. The break was right above my knee.

And one time... my dad (raised on a farm) tricked his urban cousin into peeing on the electric cow fence. True story.

[Strazos]

I still managed to get a 3 day in school suspension for the whole thing so I guess the "cover-up" didn't work as well as we hoped.

How the fuck do you get a suspension for getting hurt? High School...pfft.

[Hanzii]

And one time... my dad (raised on a farm) tricked his urban cousin into peeing on the electric cow fence. True story.

What?!
I thought every boy tried that - at least once.
I know I did. On a dare. Hurt like a motherfucker!

Worst crotchrelated pain was the one time I tried my hand at tossing a baseball with the (US-centric) guys from my English class at university. Thing is, I was operated in my right eye at the age of four, had to spend a year in kindergarten always playing the pirate, because I was the only kid with an eyepatch. This cost me my ability to see the world in true 3D, which is quite a handicap when trying to catch fast moving objects. I missed one shot by a mile and the ball bounced and connected with mine. I woke up on the ground crying. Now I'm the father of two small kids... you somehow get quite hardened by the constant hits, kicks and headbutts to your private parts - allthough the week after my vesectomy, I wished I had an iron codpiece. That'll teach the little bastards.

[Llava]

I have a wicked purple scar on my ass

Now the whole "Buttrot" thing makes sense.

[Yegolev]

Now I'm the father of two small kids... you somehow get quite hardened by the constant hits, kicks and headbutts to your private parts - allthough the week after my vesectomy, I wished I had an iron codpiece. That'll teach the little bastards.

My son racks me at least twice a week.  Word of warning to the childless: YOUR BALLZ R AT STEAK!!!

[Samwise]

My son racks me at least twice a week.  Word of warning to the childless: YOUR BALLZ R AT STEAK!!!

It's nature's way of preventing overpopulation.  The more kids you have the less likely you'll be able to continue producing them.