Take2 tech support might be retarded

[Sky]

A couple days after Civ 4 was released, I emailed Take2 about the lack of 720p support. You can alter the config file to any resolution, but there's a catch - no vertical resolution less than 768. I griped about this in the various Civ threads, it means half of the bottom UI is cut off, which makes the game problematic to play. After getting no response for two weeks, I also emailed firaxis, haven't heard back from them yet. Today I got the response to my original email, which I laid out clearly and concisely, explaining all the factors involved.

Basically it boiled down to: how can I get a widescreen aspect ratio with a vertical resolution under 768. The game supports 16:10 widescreen for many resolutions over 768 vertical.

Here's the fucking reply:

Dear Sir/Madam

Thank you for contacting Take 2 Technical Support.
In order to fully troubleshoot the problem that you are having please try
the steps below:

1. Delete all temporary files from your system.
Navigate to C:\Windows\Temp and delete all files in this folder.
Navigate to C:\Documents and Settings\*Your User Name*\Local Settings\Temp
and delete all the files in this folder.
You may need to turn on the ability to view hidden files and folders to do
this. To do so, double click My Computer, then click Tools and Options.
Then click View and select the option to view all hidden files.
Then reboot and try the game again.

2. Close down all background tasks.
To do this click Start, then Run, then type MSCONFIG and click OK. From
there click on the tab marked startup.
For Windows XP users click the button marked as Disable All, then click
Apply and Close.
For Non Windows XP users, please remove the ticks from all of the boxes
apart from the below four and then click Apply and close.
LoadPowerProfile
ScanRegistry
SystemTray
TaskMonitor
Once this has been done, please reboot the computer and then try the game
again.

3. Reinstalling the game.
Please uninstall the game, then delete the folder that is left behind. Then
reboot the computer, reinstall the game and reboot again. Then install any
patches that are available for the game, reboot the computer and then try
the game again.

4. Run a thorough Scandisk and Defrag on your computer.
>From the Start menu please select and run a thorough Scandisk of your
computer's hard disk drive. Then run the Defrag option from the same menu.
Then reboot and try the game again.

5. Update your drivers.
Please ensure that you have downloaded and installed the latest drivers for
your video and sound cards available from the website of the card
manufacturer. Then reboot and try the game again.
If all of the above have not resolved your situation then please reply back
to this e-mail attaching the information from the DirectX Diagnostic Tool.
To do this click Start then Run and type DXDIAG then click OK. From there
select the button marked as Save All Information and save the text file it
creates. Then attach that file to the e-mail and send it to us.






Please be sure to delete all previous correspondence when replying.  This
will help us to process your response in a more timely and efficient manner.

Kind Regards,
Take 2 Technical Support

Thanks for insulting my intelligence, wasting my time, and not answering my question. Fuckbagging shitballs. May as well have told me to go find the answer in sheep guts for all the worth of that email. I especially like the part about updating my drivers, given the problems folks have had with ATI drivers.

[Sairon]

Automated response probably trying to solve the crashes pretty much everybody is experiencing. I would never go through the steps described there anyway, if it would solve my problem. You shouldn't be forced to change your system settings and go through hours of fiddling with reinstalling and defraging just to be able to play the freaking game properly.

[HaemishM]

WTF?

Delete temp files, uninstall, reboot, run a scandisk and defrag and THEN update drivers?

I say again, WTF?

That's the same kind of retarded, unthinking tech support you get from SOE for trying to figure out why your router isn't allowing you to connect to EQ2. It has fuckall to do with the problem.

[Sky]

Oh, I wouldn't run through all that crap. If I thought it was necessary, I'd have done it on my own without wasting my time on tech support. Remember when tech support wanted you to /include/ all previous correspondence for better service? Back when they'd actually read my email and respond.

I have to say Dell is kickass territory, even if it's obviously someone with ESL responding. Someone is reading it and taking the time to respond, and they act with amazing swiftness. Take2 can kiss my fucking ass, we'll see what Firaxis comes up with, if anything.

It took almost a full month to get that shitty form email, too. I haven't received my English Tech Tree, either.

Logged into my webmail, here is the initial response I got from Firaxis 2 weeks ago:

Thank you for sharing your Firaxis Games experience with us. Your email has been forwarded on (through a strange machine packed with large gears and such) to the appropriate party.

Thanks for supporting Firaxis Games!

I'm glad these folks are so glad I'm giving them money without responding to my problem. It's not like I can return the fucking game now. And I don't really want to, I like the game, I just wish I could fucking play it (well, technically I can play it, just without half the UI...which had led to a couple unintended wars as I guess where the diplomatic response is).

[Stormwaltz]

Most initial-level tech support is garbage. You have to get past the peons to the higher tier guys.

When Battlefield 2 irretrievably corrupted my Windows install, EA's suggestions amounted to "make sure your virus scanner is disabled." (Disable my resident virus shield while I'm playing on online game through broadband? WTF?)

When I complained about having to consistently try two or three times to place an order at a certain online anime retailer, their response was "we received your orders."

When I complained to my cell phone company that my rewards code did not work, they claimed I was entering it wrong and helpfully emailed it to me... completely ignoring the fact that I'd included the exact same code in my complaint email, which they even included in their response.

The only tech support I've been completely happy with is City of Heroes'. They never solved my problem (it shook itself out somehow during the post-patch hotfixes), but damn if they didn't give me a slew of suggestions.

[Sky]

We need some Firaxis guys on this board :P Btw, please to include 720p support for your pc games Stormy! ;)

But yeah, I know low level tech support is crap. I was just amazed that it took 3-1/2 weeks to poop out a form email! That's a new low in my experience, especially after having Dell overnight me a mobo for a total end user downtime of about three hours. Perspective is a bitch.

[Samwise]

Where I work, we get severely beaten if we don't respond (in a useful fashion) to low level tech support issues within two hours.  I'm constantly amazed that other companies can get away with taking a week to send back a form letter.

[schild]

I've only ever had one good tech support experience. Trying to deal with Apple tech support in the early 90s may be the reason I'm a bitter asshole today.

[HaemishM]

Just to top it, I was told this week by the assgoblins I bought Poptart's now-non-functional barebones PC that they "wouldn't do what I was asking for even if you were Jesus Christ himself."

Yes, that's pretty much verbatim. And that was less than 5 minutes into a 30 minute conversation that ended with him hanging up on me.

And before you think this was just a low-level flunkie, he claimed to be the head of the support division of the company.

[kaid]

Dare I ask what you were asking him to do? With that kind of response I would hope you were asking him to go do something unnatural with a beagle and the goatce guy.

kaid

[HaemishM]

I gave him two options:

1) Give me my money back on the barebones system
2) Give me an exact replacement of the barebones system that worked

Essentially, I'd already sent it back to them once, they "tested" it and said it worked fine, sent it back without asking me if that's what I wanted, and expected me to send it back with all their components AND my components that I didn't purchase from them so they could determine if it was my parts that were causing the problem. This was after I'd explained that I bought 2 of the exact same identical barebones, and had the exact same RAM and hard drive in each system, and one system was working fine, the other wasn't.

[Pococurante]

I take it this was not mWave. :(

[Strazos]

I assume this was not Newegg. If it was not, shame on you.


Wanna know a company that has good CS? ZoneLabs.

It turns out after purchasing a suite of software from them, I couldn't get a full, clean install due to a rather...unique problem, which they couldn't Quite pin down. Something about some kind of spyware or something screwing with the install, even after I used another free virus program and 2 spyware programs. They couldn't quite figure it out, but know that was pretty much my problem, I came up with the quick and dirty solution of just reinstalling XP.

They were really helpful and nice. The fact that their software works like a charm (for me) is a plus.

[Sky]

Dear Sir/Madam

Thank you for contacting Take 2 Technical Support.

Custom resolutions are not supported by the game, and can cause unexpected
results if you were to change these settings. My only advice is to use
supported resolutions.




Please be sure to delete all previous correspondence when replying.  This
will help us to process your response in a more timely and efficient manner.

Kind Regards,
Take 2 Technical Support

Hey, we know you said the supported resolutions aren't working for you...so use the supported resolutions! Thanks for your money!

I went a bit Haemstaebby on them when replying, I had been nice for the first reply. Took over a month to not get any help!

[Ironwood]

Go on, show us the reply you sent.  You know you want to.

[Miasma]

Dear Sir/Madam
Please be sure to delete all previous correspondence when replying.  This
will help us to process your response in a more timely and efficient manner.

I like that part the most - "We prefer to just start from scratch on each email we get rather than see the problem's history, it allows us to come up with many more crazy and frustrating solutions."

[Sky]

Bah, it pales in comparison to a Haemmy rant, I'd be embarassed to post it! 

But I did include previous correspondence! Take that, bastards!

[Samwise]

Dear Sir/Madam
Please be sure to delete all previous correspondence when replying.  This
will help us to process your response in a more timely and efficient manner.

I like that part the most - "We prefer to just start from scratch on each email we get rather than see the problem's history, it allows us to come up with many more crazy and frustrating solutions."

Unless they have a call tracking system that automatically keeps all of the emails associated with a particular call.  If that's the case, keeping the previous correspondence in the body of each email is redundant and can make it much harder to review the call's history.  Not that I would know about that from extensive personal experience or anything.

Not that I'm defending these asswipes on their shitty level of customer service, mind, but there can be very legitimate reasons for not wanting all that extra crap in every email you get from a customer on the same issue.