If you were 17 in 1992...

[Yegolev]

I am so hurt inside that only pictures of boobies can console me.

That kind of pain never goes away. I suggest subscribing to all skin magazines and pay TV channels you can.

usenet ftw

[Yegolev]

So, you don't have a problem with the notion that your woman might think about banging other guys? Seriously, think about that one for a minute. While you're in the sack, or wherever, are you really cool with her thinking about someone else? If so, then I totally commend your openmindedness. I wish we could all be that healthy.

My wife and I know firstly that sex is just a physical act that does not imply any sort of comittment beyond fluid-swapping.  We are soul-mates and the only jealousy we would have would center around falling in love with someone else, which isn't likely.  Just from my end, I don't care if she thinks about other guys, and I would bet that she does although she has never said it... and I haven't asked.  Don't care.  We are two halves of the same person and nothing as stupid as sex will get between us.

[Llava]

So, you don't have a problem with the notion that your woman might think about banging other guys? Seriously, think about that one for a minute. While you're in the sack, or wherever, are you really cool with her thinking about someone else? If so, then I totally commend your openmindedness. I wish we could all be that healthy.

Absolutely- as long as it's just thought.  The mind wanders during sex.  Of course, there's a fine line between "thought about banging" and "developed an unhealthy fixation upon" so that's there, but otherwise I really can't imagine being angry because she thought of some other guy.  I'll play like I'm upset sometimes, but we both know it's just a joke.  The notion is as ridiculous to me as being angry because of something she dreamed.

[schild]

So, you don't have a problem with the notion that your woman might think about banging other guys? Seriously, think about that one for a minute. While you're in the sack, or wherever, are you really cool with her thinking about someone else? If so, then I totally commend your openmindedness. I wish we could all be that healthy.

Absolutely- as long as it's just thought.  The mind wanders during sex.  Of course, there's a fine line between "thought about banging" and "developed an unhealthy fixation upon" so that's there, but otherwise I really can't imagine being angry because she thought of some other guy.  I'll play like I'm upset sometimes, but we both know it's just a joke.  The notion is as ridiculous to me as being angry because of something she dreamed.

What if it's her dad?

[Llava]

Then I don't want to hear about it.

But if it's Johnny Depp, the guy from Incubus, or just some guy she works with, I'm okay with it.  As long as we're just talking about thought.

[schild]

Then I don't want to hear about it.

But if it's Johnny Depp, the guy from Incubus, or just some guy she works with, I'm okay with it.  As long as we're just talking about thought.

Johnny Depp? Ok.
Incubus? Ok.
Guy she spends most of the waking hours with on work days? Huh? Ok? What? That's dirty pool.

You dream about the things you simply can't have, not what you can after a few cocktails.

[Cheddar]

Ha ha, your wife left you.

[Llava]

Then I don't want to hear about it.

But if it's Johnny Depp, the guy from Incubus, or just some guy she works with, I'm okay with it.  As long as we're just talking about thought.

Johnny Depp? Ok.
Incubus? Ok.
Guy she spends most of the waking hours with on work days? Huh? Ok? What? That's dirty pool.

You dream about the things you simply can't have, not what you can after a few cocktails.

She could have most any guy where she works.  If she wanted.  She's in love with me, and I trust that (sometimes I don't understand it, but I trust it).  I also trust that fleeting sexual attractions are nothing more than that.  We've spent enough time together that I don't have to worry about her ditching me for someone "better" anymore.

[Nebu]

She could have most any guy where she works.  If she wanted.  She's in love with me, and I trust that (sometimes I don't understand it, but I trust it).  I also trust that fleeting sexual attractions are nothing more than that.  We've spent enough time together that I don't have to worry about her ditching me for someone "better" anymore.

I thought that too... after 7 years of marriage.  What happened?  She screwed someone she worked with and left me. I'm not saying that it could or even might happen to you.  I'm just saying that it can.  People are fickle.  When they find someone that they perceive to be better, sometimes they act on it, especially if they can.  My ex regrets what she did and wants me back now, but for me trust is a one-way bridge.  Once you cross it, there's really no way to go back.

There are some things you take on faith.  For a minority of people, that faith pays off in spades.  For the rest of us, we move on and learn a little something in the process. 

I guess this makes me jaded.

Edit - I'm not sure why I'm even sharing this... I guess it's the anonymity the intraweb grants.

[Cheddar]

The point is that it is all true.  People are stupid, and we all get married stupidly.  Personally I have met the person who completes me now.... it took 4 divorces but it was worth it.  LOVE YOU SCHMOOK UMS!

[Nebu]

The point is that it is all true.  People are stupid, and we all get married stupidly.  Personally I have met the person who completes me now.... it took 4 divorces but it was worth it.  LOVE YOU SCHMOOK UMS!

I didn't mean to come off badly towards you.  I guess I'm just pointing out that you are a lucky bastard to have what you have.  I hope that you always appreciate eachother for that.  That's one thing about divorce (at least for me)... it really makes you appreciate a keeper.

[Yegolev]

Four?  Well... congratulations and hooray for persistence.  I am seriously being complimentary.  Like Curly Howard said while eating a lemon: "If at first you don't suck seed, keep on sucking 'till you do suck seed."

[Llava]

<shrug> If it happens, I'll deal with it then.  But I can't imagine being happy in a relationship where you're insecure and second guessing your partner's loyalty.  That's the sort of thing that leads to a lot of problems, when you say you're commited but refuse to allow yourself to be fully commited.  It's one of those "dance like no one's watching" rules of life.  Sometimes, it's appropriate to throw caution to the wind.  If I didn't share that trust, I might as well be tacking on a "but I'm not really sure how you feel about me" to every "I love you."

Frankly, it's no way to live.  If that ends up hurting me in the future, oh well, at least I was sincere.

Sorry that happened to you.

(I should probably note, however, that I have no idea whether or not she thinks of other guys when we're having sex.  I do know she thinks other guys are hot every now and again.  Can't blame her for that, or I'd better stop looking at porn real quick.  But I am saying that whatever thoughts she has, it's what she actually does that matters- and as long as that's me  , I'm happy.)

[Shockeye]

The point is that it is all true.  People are stupid, and we all get married stupidly.  Personally I have met the person who completes me now.... it took 4 divorces but it was worth it.  LOVE YOU SCHMOOK UMS!

Dude, 4? Dude.

Dude.

[SuperPopTart]

It's not so much as not liking porn as it is not liking other people having it, especially significant others. There's some sort of deeply seated insecurity or jealousy going on if you want your man/woman thinking only about you 100% of the time, considering the imperfect beings we are.

And I'm not rude, I'm right.

So, you don't have a problem with the notion that your woman might think about banging other guys? Seriously, think about that one for a minute. While you're in the sack, or wherever, are you really cool with her thinking about someone else? If so, then I totally commend your openmindedness. I wish we could all be that healthy.

I don't think anyone ever said that they don't like other people having porn, I only said it makes me feel icky to think about my SO having it. Jealousy has a biological basis (the same way male visual stimulation does).

I don't think you understand, as of yet the concept of fantasy and it's place in a healthy sexual relationship. And since there is no other way to say the following I am just going to say it.

If my husband, while having sex with me is thinking of say.. oh.. I don't know... Asia Carrera, and the sex is going i n c r e d i b l y. Then I am more than happy to indulge in that fantasy because he isn't having sex with HER, he is having sex with ME and the fantasy of her body, actions, what have you are only spurring him on. (To my benefit, WAHOO!) I -know- I am attractive to my husband and that I turn him on and that's what matters. He makes me feel beautiful and I am beautiful (to me anyway, so nyah).  And I've got to tell you, if you are about to sit there and respond that neither you or your fiance' never think about "banging" other people I am going to immediately call bullshit.

I just have to know. Why the heck would you be jealous of something in Penthouse/Hustler/Domenintheass.com or what have you?

Are you terribly insecure?

[Shockeye]

Ok, I need to say this:

If we're going to have a catfight, please have the decency to oil up first.

Thank you.

[schild]

Asia Carrera? Why'd you beeline to a porn star? I mean, ya know, you can already see them fucking. Most people (I think, I may be wrong), would go for the actress with a nudity clause in her contracts.

[stray]

Heh, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever "fantasized" about a porn star per se (maybe my memory's shoddy..what the hell). I wouldn't even call looking at porn "fantasizing" in any real sense. Same goes for any remote celebrity for that matter. Fantasy (to me at least) is really about chicks I've met (and haven't slept with). Even the not so good looking ones.  Even if it's "fantasy", I still need something tangible to base it on. Some detail...A sense of touch, the sound of their voice up close to me, etc..

[edit] Whoa anonymity. Y'all are lucky you don't know hang around me...With your girlfriends 

[Margalis]

You know...there is a happy medium here...

Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are repressed, insecure or living in the dark ages.

I do find it a bit disconcerting that someone would be fantasizing about another sex partner *while enaged in sex.*

"God, that sex was great!"
"Yeah...the whole time I was pretending I was plowing Jennifer Love Hewitt."

All you guys seem to somehow not grasp the notion that different things work for different people. If you want your man to call you Asia in bed fine, but don't preach at someone if that isn't their thing. Personally I think jealousy in small doses is charming - and natural.

Your legs never get tired from standing on your soapbox?

[Ironwood]

All you guys seem to somehow not grasp the notion that different things work for different people. If you want your man to call you Asia in bed fine, but don't preach at someone if that isn't their thing. Personally I think jealousy in small doses is charming - and natural.

I grasp that.  I've said so a couple of times.  I'm not bashing Voodoo - I just don't think she's right and I think she's got some growing to do.  And whatnot.  (And I don't mean that in a bad way.)

I agree totally with Tart and all. 

Further, I'd say about the work colleague thing - Let your wife have her fantasies because YOU CAN'T STOP THEM.  If she's GOING to bang that guy from her work, your relationship was fucked anyway.  If it was going to happen, it was going to happen and no amount of 'I don't want you doing that' is gonna help.

Love you all.

[schild]

What the fuck does a soap box have to do with it?

Brad Pitt
Sean Connery 20 years ago
Ted from work

Charlize Theron pre or post Monster
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Asia Carrera

One of the things in each group is not like the other. The comments weren't about the preferences so much as the examples used. Sorry if I found it strange, but I live in reality land. Purely as a courtesy to my other I wouldn't think about slamming the secretary at work or fucking someone I can watch fuck on film. There's no fantasy to the second one and the first one - as mentioned before - is a fleeting thing. It's the kind of thing you think about on your own, not when you go to bed. As for the other 4 folks, those are the things that no one should be allowed to get in trouble for thinking about. They are pure 100% fantasy. There is no chance you're sleeping with any of them (particularly connery from 20 years ago). So really, what I'm trying to do here is turn the conversation into an argument about the semantics of the word "fantasy."

[stray]

So really, what I'm trying to do here is turn the conversation into an argument about the semantics of the word "fantasy."

Well, you've definitely done your part to complicate the discussion even more, I'll give you that.

Besides, Samwise and I already had a semantical debate (except it was about "oral sex"...Or something). Isn't that enough for one thread? 

Fantasy, I guess, is whatever we want it to be. Happily ever after. The end.

[Llava]

I don't see what's so different between Asia Carrera and Jennifer Love Hewitt in fantasy land.  They're "other women".  One you've seen naked.

Is Halle Berry fair game?  Seen her boobs, but she's not a porn star.

If you've seen Jennifer Love Hewitt in person, is she no longer fair game?
Maybe you're a grip and you see her more than most people, but you two have never spoken and are still basically strangers.  Fair game?
Maybe you have spoken.

Where is the line?

[SuperPopTart]

Asia Carrera? Why'd you beeline to a porn star? I mean, ya know, you can already see them fucking. Most people (I think, I may be wrong), would go for the actress with a nudity clause in her contracts.

I wonder how many actors/actresses have a nudity clause.

[schild]

Asia Carrera? Why'd you beeline to a porn star? I mean, ya know, you can already see them fucking. Most people (I think, I may be wrong), would go for the actress with a nudity clause in her contracts.

I wonder how many actors/actresses have a nudity clause.

Teri Hatcher should've in the 90s. Ho ho ho.

Really though, shot in the dark - 90% of the major players today.

[Paelos]

This thread is officially a rollercoaster of rational discourse. I'll summarize my feelings on the new points:

Fantasizing about impossible people is normal and healthy. Fantasizing about people in your monkeysphere repeatedly is probably NOT healthy. Why? Because you can do better in your fantasies. Live large.

Marriage...it's not for everyone.

Don't fuck people at work. Married or not.

[stray]

So negative!

[Cheddar]

Don't fuck people at work. Married or not.

This is the greatest advice anyone can give to another, yet people mess up on all the time.  NEVER shit where you eat.

[Margalis]

It just annoys me when everyone thinks the know the one right thing about things like this. Nobody does and to pretend otherwise is silly.

[Ironwood]

Don't fuck people at work.

I can't stress this one enough.  I did and now I'm happily married.


AVOID.

[Llava]

Don't fuck people at work.

I can't stress this one enough.  I did and now I'm happily married.


AVOID.

Okay, that actually did make me laugh aloud.

[Megrim]

This thread rocks! Is it me, or has anyone noticed that Schild mostly talks about men when talking about fantasy? IS there something you aren't telling us duckling? 


Har. In other news, my sim almost scored last night, after only one day of romance. However, it seems that he missed the crucial step of serving his sweetheart lunch-meat sandwiches for dinner, and was swiftly defenstrated for his failure. As punishement i made him eat chef salad and juggle coffee cups all night. I think we're making good progress but he seems a little afraid of me since i make him clean the toilet at least three times per day now.

 - meg

[schild]

This thread rocks! Is it me, or has anyone noticed that Schild mostly talks about men when talking about fantasy? IS there something you aren't telling us duckling? 

I'm trying to be an equal opportunity chauvinist, if that's possible.

Har. In other news, my sim almost scored last night, after only one day of romance. However, it seems that he missed the crucial step of serving his sweetheart lunch-meat sandwiches for dinner, and was swiftly defenstrated for his failure. As punishement i made him eat chef salad and juggle coffee cups all night. I think we're making good progress but he seems a little afraid of me since i make him clean the toilet at least three times per day now.

I shouldn't have hit quote after I read the first part, now I'm stuck responding to someone talking about not people. Is there SOMETHING you aren't telling us?

[MrHat]

Asia Carrera plays unreal tournement.  I kid you not.

Edit for Truth.

[Megrim]

This thread rocks! Is it me, or has anyone noticed that Schild mostly talks about men when talking about fantasy? IS there something you aren't telling us duckling? 

I'm trying to be an equal opportunity chauvinist, if that's possible.

Har. In other news, my sim almost scored last night, after only one day of romance. However, it seems that he missed the crucial step of serving his sweetheart lunch-meat sandwiches for dinner, and was swiftly defenstrated for his failure. As punishement i made him eat chef salad and juggle coffee cups all night. I think we're making good progress but he seems a little afraid of me since i make him clean the toilet at least three times per day now.

I shouldn't have hit quote after I read the first part, now I'm stuck responding to someone talking about not people. Is there SOMETHING you aren't telling us?

HE IS A REAL PERSON TO ME! *sob*

 - meg


p.s.

Yea, and she isn't too bad at it too, apparently. Which brings me to my next point; railguns and why i love them.