Serenity spoiler thread

[WindupAtheist]

The quality of something is obviously not directly related to mass appeal. The fact is, the three Star Wars prequels did suck.

An opinion with which I respectfully disagree.  Then again, unlike others, you didn't blurt it out from nowhere as a defensive knee-jerk reaction to a pet franchise taking it in the ass.

There are a lot of objective criteria by which SW utterly fails. Awful diaog, fixation with CGI, tons of plot holes, etc. But Star Wars is a cultural phenomenon. Of course it was going to do well. The fact is, it could have been 10 times worse than it was and still do well. We all know that.

Most likely.  I'm simply pointing out to whoever decided to make this thread about Star Wars (Not me!) that taking shots at it wasn't much of a retort, even by internet fanboy penis-waving standards.

"Look, your movie flopped!  Haw haw!  Kiss my ass, contrived marketing campaign!"
"Well the movie you like got equally good reviews and made ten times the money!  Um, but I didn't like it!"
"Yeah, so?"

Now from a business standpoint, I don't see how making a Firefly movie makes sense. You are right that everything under the sun has a cult following on the web. If the following was large, the show would have gotten ratings and not been cancelled.

I think someone had Star Trek in mind, but forgot the fact that Trek spent the entire 1970's in syndication, kicking ass and gaining recognition before it was made into a movie.

How did this discussion turn into SW vs. Serenity anyway?

Beats me.  Star Wars nothing, I wanna know how it turned into Serenity vs UO.   :-D

[Ironwood]

An opinion with which I respectfully disagree.  Then again, unlike others, you didn't blurt it out from nowhere as a defensive knee-jerk reaction to a pet franchise taking it in the ass.

 

You are a Cunt of the highest order.  Don't even try to say that you weren't making this all about Star Wars in the first place you horrible horrible little faggot.  I've reread the thread twice now and your intent to derail is sparklingly clear.  You have all the wit, wisdom and cleverness as Triforcer in a Republican thread.

Go Die you fucknut.

And, before you even start, please go re-read the bit where I haven't seen Serenity yet because it ain't out over here.  It's not about that.  It's about you being the most incredible little pus-ridden weasel.

[Margalis]

The good news here (for Serenity fans) is that nearly all movies lose money at the box office, the real money is made in DVD sales, toys, fast-food tie-ins, etc. By the way I'm calling it right now that the movie industry is going to collapse in another 5 years or so. DVD sales are not going to stay at the pace they are currently at. They are beginning to lose their newness factor, they compete with TV DVDs (that are often a better value in terms of length to cost), we have Netflix now, and most new movies are not worth buying. And channels like HBO and showtime are developing more and more of their own entertainment. (Remember that HBO stands for Home Box Office and at one point it was nearly ALL movies)

[schild]

Don't even try to say that you weren't making this all about Star Wars in the first place you horrible horrible little faggot.

Unnecessary and not funny.

I've reread the thread twice now and your intent to derail is sparklingly clear.  You have all the wit, wisdom and cleverness as Triforcer in a Republican thread.

Unnecessary and funny.

See. The internet is easy.

[Ironwood]

I was going for incandescent fury rather than funny, to be honest.  Just something that would get across the gist of a lying wee weasel.

Maybe I should have drafted.  Or, you know, read what I was typing through the red mist.


Oh, and I agree with the whole 'movie dying' thing.   After my last couple of visits (few and far between) I'm really, really tempted to get a huge media system in my garage and just watch anything in there....

[Megrim]

The amount of stupid in this thread is beginning to damage my calm.

Best sci-fi i've seen since Fifth Element, or Dark City.

 - meg

[Ironwood]

And I was starting to think I was the only person on earth who liked Dark City.

Oh and Schild - if you want funny :

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41239

[Surlyboi]

Now from a business standpoint, I don't see how making a Firefly movie makes sense. You are right that everything under the sun has a cult following on the web. If the following was large, the show would have gotten ratings and not been cancelled.

I beg to differ. Firefly was cancelled not because no one watched it but because no one could watch it. Not to sound like a fanboy, but seriously, Fox aired the episodes out of order and pre-empted nearly half of them for the playoffs and world series. It's kinda like they wanted the show to fail. I knew a lot of people that were dying to see the show, but were frustrated that they sometimes had to wait 'til two in the fucking AM to watch it because a bunch of steroid popping poofters skipping around a field was pushing the start times back that far.

How did this discussion turn into SW vs. Serenity anyway?

Someone felt the need to wave a glowy e-peen somewhere along the way...

And I hated Dark City. Mostly because the ending seemed kinda copoutish to me. The buildup was great though, I will give it that.

[Ironwood]

And I hated Dark City. Mostly because the ending seemed kinda copoutish to me. The buildup was great though, I will give it that.

You know, when I try to talk about The Matrix and Dark City in the same sentence, people actually say 'What ?'  Sigh.

[schild]

You think Fox fucked Firefly? Go take a look at the how Veritas: The Quest was handled. *ANGER*

[Surlyboi]

Yeah, Veritas got screwed too.

Seriously, why bother buying multiple eps of a show if you're just gonna pre-empt them or not show them at all?

[stray]

Pope John Paul II really liked Dark City.

Did you know that? Huh? Did you?

[Ironwood]

Pope John Paul II really liked Dark City.

Did you know that? Huh? Did you?

Yes, I did.  He was a big Ian Richardson fan, since he saw him in House Of Cards.

[Fargull]

Ironwood, if I ever have the opportunity to buy you a beer, consider it bought.

I agree with you Surly.. fox fucked the show, guess it was metaphorical fucking for Buffy going to UPN and still kicking Fox's ass.

Dark City was great and I can see an easy comparison to the Matrix.  As for Event Horizon, while not a remake, it certainly follows the formula of the much better movie,  In The Mouth of Madness.  Sam Neill is one of those actors that stays below the horizon, but keeps providing damn good acting.

[tazelbain]

  Dark City

[Surlyboi]

Ironwood, if I ever have the opportunity to buy you a beer, consider it bought.

I agree with you Surly.. fox fucked the show, guess it was metaphorical fucking for Buffy going to UPN and still kicking Fox's ass.

Dark City was great and I can see an easy comparison to the Matrix.  As for Event Horizon, while not a remake, it certainly follows the formula of the much better movie,  In The Mouth of Madness.  Sam Neill is one of those actors that stays below the horizon, but keeps providing damn good acting.

Wouldn't that be, "Sam Neill" is one of those actors that stays below the Event Horizon? :-D

I'm here all week, try the veal.

But yeah, pretty much anything he's in, I'll watch, he's versatile as hell.

[Ironwood]

I still think Event Horizon, while not the greatest movie evar, is still going to be the closest we ever get to a Doom movie.

[Furiously]

But yeah, pretty much anything he's in, I'll watch, he's versatile as hell.

Jurassic part 3? (But seriously - I agree - he's a decent actor who seems to take some interesting roles).

[Surlyboi]

I still think Event Horizon, while not the greatest movie evar, is still going to be the closest we ever get to a Doom movie.

Except maybe... Doom?

[Megrim]

I still think Event Horizon, while not the greatest movie evar, is still going to be the closest we ever get to a Doom movie.

Except maybe... Doom?

No, that movie is doomed.




OOOOOOOOH SNAAAAP! SOMEBODY OPEN A WINDOW!!1



*ahem*

Back on topic, i saw an interview on cable (here in Aus) with Whedon recently, during which he showed distinct interest in a sequel (or, in his words, even a trilogy since this appears to be the fad nowdays) if Serenity did well enough. So go see it again all of you.

 - meg

[Shockeye]

In the Mouth of Madness.

[HaemishM]

Isn't it just great?  A bunch of anti-fanboys cry all over their blogs about their childhood being raped, to which Lucas responds with "Shut up interweb, you don't matter."  And after a $380 million domestic gross and the best reviews of any Star Wars movie for Episode 3, guess what?  He gets to be right!

The black plague killed a lot of people too, we should make a sequel.

Twat.

On just about every qualitative level, Ep 3 especially (Ep 2 and 1 not so much) sucked such large monkey balls, it was like a line up of young boys making wth the circus seal impression backstage at an Elton John concert. It just blew. There are certain things movies must have to be a well-done movie, and Ep3 had none of them. I'm quite sure that if aliens came down to earth after we've destroyed ourselves and the only cultural artifact they found of us was Star Wars Episode 3, they'd think we probably deserved whatever end came to us. Then they'd blow up the planet into tiny asteroids just to make sure nothing such as Ep3 was ever produced again. Ep 3 was geek dress-up dolls with CGI. Furry fanfiction starring the Smurfs, Captain Kirk and a giant horseman penis has more drama, more pathos and better visuals than Episode 3 did.

I'm sorry that it made $380 million despite sucking ass. I'm sure Lucas sleeps well at night on his bed of $100 bills and delusion, thinking that the only thing wrong with his movie was that some Internet geeks didn't like it. It isn't like it was going to flop or anything. You could back up the Federal economy with the surety of a Star Wars sequel/prequel's success.

That doesn't change the fact that it sucked, and Serenity was in every way a better movie. Shit, Office Space tanked at the box office, and it's easily one of the best comedic movies of our generation.

EDIT: Dark City rocked, and was a better Matrix movie than Matrix Reloaded or Revolutions. Shit, 13th Floor was a better Matrix movie than those two. Also, Event Horizon and In the Mouth of Madness were good too. And all of them were better than Episode 3.

[Merusk]

Yeah, Veritas got screwed too.

Seriously, why bother buying multiple eps of a show if you're just gonna pre-empt them or not show them at all?

The people who greenlight shows and the people who schedule them are two different groups.  If the schedulers think a show sucks, they'll kill it by putting it in assend of nowhere and then pointing out the horrible Neilson #s to the appropriate people.  c.f. Firefly, The Quest, The Tick, etc.

Like any system, it's the asstards who fuck it up for everyone else.

And after Fox screwed Buffy and Firefly, I'd say there's probably someone in the org. who just doesn't like Wheadon on a visceral level.  He must've fucked their wife or something.

[Ironwood]

I still think Event Horizon, while not the greatest movie evar, is still going to be the closest we ever get to a Doom movie.

Except maybe... Doom?

Then you've not been reading the previews I have been reading.  It's fuck all to do with Hell and more to do with Genetic Engineering/aliens.

Fuck that.  I want BLOOOOOOD and Ritual Sacrifice.  Doom was about the supernatural, not the unnatural.

[Surlyboi]

I still think Event Horizon, while not the greatest movie evar, is still going to be the closest we ever get to a Doom movie.

Except maybe... Doom?

Then you've not been reading the previews I have been reading.  It's fuck all to do with Hell and more to do with Genetic Engineering/aliens.

Fuck that.  I want BLOOOOOOD and Ritual Sacrifice.  Doom was about the supernatural, not the unnatural.

Nah, I've been reading them, just being facetious.

The preview trailers I've seen of Doom disturb me greatly. Not that I thought the plot of Doom was all that deep to begin with, but hey...

Or maybe it's the "squee" of delight it elicited from my girlfriend both times we saw it before Serenity. I know it's gonna suck beyond all measure and she does too, but she still wants to see it. Then again, she'll watch anything with the Rock in it...

[Ironwood]

To be honest, I'm not sure it'll be a bad movie.  I think it may turn out to be quite an entertaining movie.

But not what we're looking for.

Where's the guy suspended on an upside down cross over a lake of blood that's on fire with his intenstines dangling to his chin.
.
.
.
.
Mommy ?

[Pococurante]

Then again, she'll watch anything with the Rock in it...

[Daeven]

And I hated Dark City. Mostly because the ending seemed kinda copoutish to me. The buildup was great though, I will give it that.

You know, when I try to talk about The Matrix and Dark City in the same sentence, people actually say 'What ?'  Sigh.

Throw in a gratuitous reference to The 13th Floor and watch their brain melt.

[Surlyboi]

Then again, she'll watch anything with the Rock in it...

She's from Milwuakee, I find one of those for the Bucks, and it's gonna be her christmas gift.

[Bunk]

Getting a little back on topic: Sobelius, I agree with you that the movie at best did a cursory job of explaining any backstories. For that reason alone I would highly recomend going back and seeing the series. The series was almost entirely about developing those characters and thier relationships. The whole attraction thing between the Engineer and the Doctor is spread over about 10 episodes for example. Oh, and you won't call Jayne one dimensional once you've heard his ballad.

[Pococurante]

Or seen his statue carved out of manure.  Well ok mud but still...

[Soln]

my replies:

"movies are dying"..."dying in 5 years"... agree. Not necessarily looking forward to it, but when shit like this gets money then maybe Hollywood death is better for us all.  Hopefully we'll still be able see stuff from people like Robert Redford though.  But it's pretty telling when one the biggest films this summer was about penguins (and I saw it and it was genuinely good and dramatic in places, plus beautifully shot).

"Ian Richardson fan, since he saw him in House Of Cards"...    Brilliant series

SW vs. Whatever... let's be honest, SW sux.  And so did Star Trek.  Each had moments of quality, but both overwhelmed by mediocre writing

Serenity... not knocking it, but I probably won't see it.  Never saw more than 10mins of the the show.  Here's the thing -- and please don't take this the wrong way -- I don't think a future where offworld colonist behave, talk and culturally live like late 1800's American Westerners is what most people want to see.  The grafting of SciFi and American Western I just couldn't digest.  Maybe Fox did tank the show, but I think this was a mix most people didn't get and want to see.

[Surlyboi]

Getting a little back on topic: Sobelius, I agree with you that the movie at best did a cursory job of explaining any backstories. For that reason alone I would highly recomend going back and seeing the series. The series was almost entirely about developing those characters and thier relationships. The whole attraction thing between the Engineer and the Doctor is spread over about 10 episodes for example. Oh, and you won't call Jayne one dimensional once you've heard his ballad.

The hell with Jayne's ballad, his whole reaction to the kid taking the bullet for him and his "Don't tell them what I did" in Aurora gave him more depth than three prequels did for Anakin "I whine, therefore I am" Skywalker.

[Soln]

EDIT: Dark City rocked, and was a better Matrix movie than Matrix Reloaded or Revolutions.

agree... and FWIW when it's one of Ebert's all-time favourite films he shows at his festivals.  He liked it so much he did one of the over-narrations for the DVD.

[Shockeye]

In the movie the doctor and Mal did discuss the fact the doctor had been patching up people on Serenity for 8 months.