Say hello...

[WayAbvPar]

Check out this dress

Does it come with the nude man attached to it? That might cause some logistics problems.

[Furiously]

I think you need more heroin for that dress. No matter what you need more.

Big F'ing Cake.

[voodoolily]

Check out this dress

Does it come with the nude man attached to it? That might cause some logistics problems.

Especially if he has hay up his ass.

The model's not that skinny, and the dress has a corset. And I'm in decent shape anyway. I think I could pull it off. Best part: no worries about hiding my tattoos from my fundy relatives (fortunately only a few haven't seen it already or give a shit), doesn't look too wedding-y and has sleeves which will be warm enough for early autumn.

Anyway, it's just a thought.

[HaemishM]

Now see, that's the kind of shit you need to share wit' yo' homies in a PM or something. You're holding out on me.

This coming from the guy who should have access to a veritable pipeline of pr0n.

One can never have enough pipelines to quality pr0n.

[Signe]

It's cool.  It sort of has that slightly dirty The Corpse Bride look.  I like it!

[voodoolily]

It's cool.  It sort of has that slightly dirty The Corpse Bride look.  I like it!

EXACTLY. I could be buried in it! And honey, I'm not trying to fool anybody about my virginity. The cohabitation kinda soiled my honor awhile ago.

[Signe]

It's cool.  It sort of has that slightly dirty The Corpse Bride look.  I like it!

EXACTLY. I could be buried in it! And honey, I'm not trying to fool anybody about my virginity. The cohabitation kinda soiled my honor awhile ago.

If you could get a hold of a dress like that... it would be too cool.  I suppose Sauced might have to do something like this, then:

[voodoolily]

Heh, we've been joking about him getting platemail made for the occasion, and about me riding in on a Clydesdale wearing a horned helmet with "Flight of the Valkyries" blaring, and my best man could hold my sword during the ceremony.

[Signe]

It doesn't have to be a joke.  That dress screams for a slightly twisted wedding.  Of course, families might get a bit upset.  Personally, I would have been willing to nick our palms, spit in them, shake hands and call ourselves blood brothers but families need a ceremony or it just didn't really happen. 

[WayAbvPar]

I had some friends who got married on the balcony at the groom's parent's house. It was a very small guest list (like 40). They served appetizers and drinks beforehand, then had all the guests gather below the balcony. They then showed some scenes from Much Ado About Nothing, and followed by a very short marriage ceremony.

It was actually kind of cool. Very intimate, and very different.

As long as there is some food and booze, family and friends will be just fine  :-D

[Llava]

Of course, families might get a bit upset.

In my opinion:  Tough shit.  It's their wedding, they get to decide everything about it.  Any crazy weird theme they want, any off the wall details, it's their choice because it's their wedding.  Anyone with the sheer gall and egotism to think that they, as a guest to the wedding, have a right to dictate its terms ought to be smacked.  You (well, ideally) only get to do this once.

(Course, if they're paying for it then it becomes trickier to tell them to fuck off and let you have the wedding you want...)

[Strazos]

Heh, we've been joking about him getting platemail made for the occasion

Platemail is expensive. really fucking expensive.

I mean, you could get cheap stuff, but why half-ass it?

Also, if you get a sword, get a real one....with a real edge....so you can really cut your cake with it.

[Daeven]

Since you are in the NW. Whatever you do. I mean whatever you do... Do this...

Borracchini's is the bomb.

Their raspbery tiramisu is the definition of sinful decadence.

[Ironwood]

Um.

Historically, the wedding is not about the bride and groom.  It's about the bride's parents.  Those who don't realise this better have their own fucking money.

Another quaint Scottish By-Law dealt with.

[voodoolily]

Fuck tradition.

We are paying for this ourselves because a) we both come from working-class families and b) we want it our way. My little brother married his knocked-up girlfriend at a sketchy neighborhood park at 6pm on a cold November evening. They wore jeans and hoodies, and the 5-person reception consisted of sheetcake from Safeway at my house. If her AWOL parents had paid for it, it wouldn't have been much more glamorous.

Tradition also means that we would be wed in a church by a minister, and nowadays that means either being a member of the church or agreeing to months of couples' couseling before the officiant will agree to perform the ceremony. We are both atheists, so this doesn't make sense. Some traditions transcend nationality.

In other news, another lovely night of insomnia, broken up by patchy sleep filled with horrific images of fox hunt themes, tweed and plaid, wool and giant hunting dogs. It was like Ralph Lauren threw up on my wedding.

[Llava]

Nothing says "love" quite like the ritual slaughter of small mammals.

[Pococurante]

I always miss the good news when it's fresh.  Many many gratz to you both.  Add mine as another unasked for vote supporting the wedding you two want.

Spend it all on the honeymoon, not the wedding... ;-)  To this day I can't recall much of our wedding but I remember every delicious minute of the two week honeymoon we took the next year.  (Hmm I think I may have to leave the office early today...)

[Ironwood]

Once again I'm mistaken for someone who gives a flying fuck.

Personally, it's about this joyous time I like to quote divorce statistics, so annoyed am I at the concept of marriage.

Engaged for four years, married for four, still very happy and very much in love.  Others can talk about the incongruity of it if they wish, but marriage is a suckers game.

So here's my glass raised.

[ClydeJr]

I remember I made the mistake of actually giving my opinion to future wife when we were planning the wedding. She showed a bunch of bridesmaid dress pictures to me and asked my opinion. Since I was trying to be the involved husband-to-be, I told what I thought. There was this one dress that had this one part of it that I didn't like. I tried to explain to her why I didn't like it. She was really silent so i thought she didn't quite understand. I tried to explain again. That's when she said back "OK, OK, shut up!" Be confused as hell, I didn't know what to think (besides my finace finally snapped under the wedding stress). It wasn't until about an hour later that I realized that her wedding dress probably had that same one part that I didn't like. I learned to just say I liked everything.

Fast forward a few months. She and the dress looked absolutely stunning together. The part that bitched about looked perfectly fine.

[Ironwood]

Noob.

[Merusk]

Justice of the Peace 4tw.  I don't regret a damn thing about it, nor does the wife.  Then again, she didn't want a diamond either because she thinks they're ugly stones.  Score.

[Llava]

Ditto, Merusk.  Mine wants a black pearl.  She also dislikes gold.

[Signe]

Didn't want a ring, didn't want a wedding, didn't want a reception, didn't want a fuss at all, actually.  Well, we did do the small reception thingy but only because Gordon's family needed something a bit more substantial than watching us sign a piece of paper to drive down from Scotland for....

Actually, I wouldn't have minded a honeymoon but there wasn't time for one... Gordon was having all sorts of deadlines.  We did, however, take a long weekend in Amsterdam about three months later and it was very, very nice.  We took one of those late night wine drinking canal boat rides.  Candles, wine and cheese, crusty bread, and it was very romantic.  We were stoned, however, and the man sitting in front of us was a Billy Idol look-a-like and we couldn't stop giggling at him.  Then some boys on a bridge started pouring buckets of water onto the boat.  We had seen them and closed the top to our bit but, unfortnately, we were too busy laughing at what was about to happen to warn anyone.  Soooo... we were the only people who's ride wasn't ruined.  (although we seem to have helped ruin everyone else's... sorry!)

That completes my pre-morning coffee trip down memory lane which I'm sure I'll regret later.

[Yegolev]

The ceremony is for the guests, especially if you don't really want one.  People feel slighted if you didn't include them in your biggest day.  We ended up with about 50 guests.  My wife and I viewed it as an excuse for a huge party, which didn't really help her maintain her sanity, but she's a control freak.  You should be able to find a freelance minister that will do what you want, and it should be easy enough to find a nondenominatory facility... but I have never been to Portland or where-ever.  I want to say that our guy was a Methodist, but he was really just a Bible-for-hire.  The families got a "church" wedding and I got married on Halloween, so it all worked out.

[voodoolily]

Justice of the peace is where we're going. Oh! We had a stroke of genius last night - I was going through my collection of vintage children's science books for invitation inspiration (stock stylized flowers and nature thingies) when I found THE PERFECT image for our invitations. It came from a book from 1948 called All About the Insect World. The caption says, "The female mantis kills the male and feeds upon its body" and shows this really cool drawing of two mantises in a lovers' embrace. The female's wings are exposed, resembling a skirt. So that's gonna be the front of the invitation. The wording and font on the inside will be the height of formality, with very fancy script and the whole nine yards. We're gonna have them embossed and everything for extra punch. I can't imagine the look on my grandfather's face when he sees it!  It'll go perfect with my bouquet of carnivorous plants.

[Pococurante]

[Yegolev]

Awesome, Lily.

[Llava]

Is that a giant joint?

[voodoolily]

I wish the Washington Monument were composed of marijuana.

[Samprimary]

My parents didn't even have a wedding.

They just signed some papers and then kissed outrageously at the registrar desk.

[WayAbvPar]

My parents didn't even have a wedding.

They just signed some papers and then kissed outrageously at the registrar desk.

"...and that is how you were concieved, there at City Hall. We still aren't allowed back."

[Pococurante]

I wish the Washington Monument were composed of marijuana.

I'd finally be able to justify the three hour wait for the elevator.  Or I'd just take deep breaths in line and eventually fly to the top.

We spent the rest of that day and most of that night,
Trying to find my brother, Bill.
Caught up with him, 'bout six o'clock the next morning,
Naked, swinging on the wind mill!
He said he flew up there.
I had to fly up there and bring him down,
He was about half crazy .....

[Signe]

Lyrics!  Oh no!  Are you trying to get V-Lily's engagement thread denned? 

[Pococurante]

But they're funny, not angsty!

I'm sorry VL... 

[Signe]

Yes, but Shockeye has been in a mood lately.  Who knows what he's likely to do if he sees lyrics.  He could slip right over the edge of sanity and end up down here, with me.