Fantastic Four redux

[shiznitz]

From Page Six:

August 19, 2005 -- A SEQUEL to this year's "Fantastic Four" is in the works, and the original stars are set to reprise their superhero roles — except for Jessica Alba (above). After starring in the first flick with Michael Chiklis and the lesser-known likes of Ioane Gruffud, Chris Evans, and Julian McMahon, the sexy starlet is uncertain the follow-up would be a judicious career move. Instead, we hear Alba has agreed to star alongside Jimmy Fallon in the movie remake of the classic sitcom, "I Dream of Jeannie." She'll get to show a lot more skin than Barbara Eden, who was forced by censors to cover her navel. Alba declined to comment.

I am glad there is a sequel, Alba or no Alba. I thought the movie was fun. Alba in Jeannie's outift gives me the fun shivers.

[Merusk]

No no.. a superhero sequel would be a bad career move.  Instead I'm going for this TV-series movie, those have done wonders for other people's careers!
Plus it's with Jimmy Fallon, it's a guaranteed hit! Nobody hates his smirky, smarmy hackish-ways!

Guh?

[Sky]

I'll withhold judgement until I see the abortion movie.

Plus it's with Jimmy Fallon, it's a guaranteed hit! Nobody hates his smirky, smarmy hackish-ways!

Jeannie....you're retahded!

You ah!

[shiznitz]

One major problem with a Dream of Jeannie remake is that to make it even modestly believable in a modern context, her master would have to wish for some pretty wild shit. The TV show was very restrained in this regard because of the era in which it was produced. Pretty much any single guy who found a djinni today would wish for 10 naked <fill in hot movie actresses/models> clones to screw his brains out.

[ahoythematey]

With Jessica Alba as the djinni, why bother wasting a wish on ten women when you already have a thoroughly hot one right there?  I mean, ten more women means 100x the nagging.

[HaemishM]

The idea of Jeannie as Jessica Alba makes more sense than Sue Storm as Jessica Alba. But JIMMY FUCKING FALLON? Hell, I wouldn't cast him to play Major Nelson's Sidekick's gardener. What an asstard. Also, yes, dumb fucking career move. The movie will hopefully flop badly just because it's a stupid idea. The show was really only viable in the time period it was done. Now? It'd need to be R to make any sense whatsoever.

[Merusk]

You forget Maj. Nelson didn't want Jeanie doing all the wishes and things she did, he just wanted to live a 'normal' life.  It was the NBC(?) answer to "Bewitched."   You can play that off today as easily as you could in '65.

But really, unless they do a live-action version of Peter Griffon beating Jimmy Fallon to death I don't think I could stomach more than 5 minutes.

[shiznitz]

You forget Maj. Nelson didn't want Jeanie doing all the wishes and things she did, he just wanted to live a 'normal' life.  It was the NBC(?) answer to "Bewitched."   You can play that off today as easily as you could in '65.

I don't buy it. Yes, he may want a normal life eventually, but everyone would at least try the insane wishes life first. In fact, I expect the movie will be about Fallon's character figuring that out. Jim Carey did this movie when he became God for a bit.

[Sky]

You forget Maj. Nelson didn't want Jeanie doing all the wishes and things she did, he just wanted to live a 'normal' life.  It was the NBC(?) answer to "Bewitched."   You can play that off today as easily as you could in '65.

Yeah, and Bewitched killed at the box office. If Farrell can't save that turd, what hope does Fallon have?

[Llava]

Come ON Jessica!  You're smarter than this!  You ruled in Sin City, and you had some fairly intelligent things to say about the movie when you were done!  Fantastic Four we can forgive.  It was good money and everyone wants to play a superhero, and everyone knows you were going to be the actual draw for 75% of the audience.  Saying no to the sequel was a good idea, cause you don't want to become to associated with that crap.

But Jeannie?  With JIMMY FUCKING FALLON?  Come ON!

[Jain Zar]

What's the big deal anyhow?

She can't act.  She has been AWFUL in everything I have ever seen her in.  Yeah she is hot.  Doesn't mean she belongs in feature films.

[Sky]

I thought the thread was titled Fantastic Four reflux.

[Llava]

What's the big deal anyhow?

She can't act.  She has been AWFUL in everything I have ever seen her in.  Yeah she is hot.  Doesn't mean she belongs in feature films.

She did fine in Sin City.  Not amazing, sure, but fine.

I really want to like her, but she's making it so hard.

[Shockeye]

Interview with the brainiac at MSNBC.

[HaemishM]

Interview with the brainiac at MSNBC.

I'm not sure which one sounded more stupid, the interviewer or the interviewee.

[Llava]

Um, I don't know.  She didn't sound too stupid to me.  The dumbest thing she said was that she didn't have an opinion on Iraq, but that was because she didn't believe she was in the right position to have an educated opinion about it.  The interviewer is a dumbfuck, sure, but there's only so intelligent you can sound when answering questions like, "Did you know you were going to be so talented in the art of lassoing?" or "So how did you convince them you’re the best?"

<shrug>  I will need a lot more evidence than that to proclaim someone stupid.  Uwe Boll's interview, now that's four bags of stupid.

[Velorath]

Apparently she's still signed on for the sequels.

[Llava]

Those damn contracts.

[shiznitz]

F4Movies are a bunch of retards, apparently. Multi-movie contracts are not handcuffs. They often get "re-negotiated." It tends to be really productive to work with an actress who doesn't want to be there.

[Ironwood]

Yeah, I was totally convinced by Storm in X-Men 2.