Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 20, 2025, 02:56:22 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Search:     Advanced search
we're back, baby
*
Home Help Search Login Register
f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Topic: All things Uwe Boll 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 Go Down Print
Author Topic: All things Uwe Boll  (Read 20944 times)
stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818

has an iMac.


Reply #35 on: September 07, 2005, 01:00:49 PM

Rumor has it the reason Kingsley took the part was because of a long desire to portray a vampire in the film, and this was the first role that came up. Bizarre.

Damn, I don't know why, but that makes me extremely depressed.

On a completed unrelated note (hell, it's a Uwe Boll thread, why not?), it'd be nice if Kingsley had a longfelt desire to play a scraggly old man, dressed in a Vulture suit, flying above the skyscrapers of New York City (he'd be perfect). As silly as it would be, it's a lot more respectable than playing a vampire in a Uwe Boll movie.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2005, 01:04:34 PM by Stray »
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #36 on: September 07, 2005, 01:06:07 PM

Gay furry pr0n is more respectable than an Uwe Boll film.

WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #37 on: September 07, 2005, 01:12:34 PM

That has to end up as someone's signature.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199


WWW
Reply #38 on: September 07, 2005, 01:18:35 PM

Ever have a bad day and confuse Ute Werner with Uwe Boll?

Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


WWW
Reply #39 on: September 07, 2005, 01:21:22 PM

Ever have a bad day and confuse Ute Werner with Uwe Boll?

"I said 'two Utes'!"


Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
Reply #40 on: October 24, 2005, 11:06:15 AM

Quote from: Press Release
POSTAL, the World's Most Outrageous Videogame to Become Major Motion Picture!
Infamous Film Director Uwe Boll Signs Suicide Pact with Game Developer Running With Scissors

Tucson, AZ - Start firing those AK-47s into the air because POSTAL (http://www.gopostal.com/), the game franchise that politicians, parents groups, countless cowardly reviewers and over a dozen sovereign nations don't want you to play has just become the latest game to make the transition to the big screen.

Running with Scissors (RWS), the world's most dangerous software company, has signed an appropriately apocalyptic deal with renegade filmmaker Uwe Boll (http://www.boll-kg.de/) to bring the most controversial franchise in gaming history to the screen in all its blood-drenched, ironic glory.

Despite everyone from Steven Spielberg to Microsoft announcing big money deals involving films based on video games, this new partnership between controversial figures in the game and film industries is destined to become the most incendiary game-to-film deal yet.

"Uwe Boll is the perfect producer-director to make POSTAL," affirmed Running With Scissors' CEO Vince Desi. "He understands the subject matter and has an appreciation and affinity for controversy and political incorrectness. POSTAL has always been about reason and insanity, violence and motivation; producer-director Uwe Boll is simply the right guy to bring that vision to the screen."

The man behind the camera, Hollywood outsider Uwe Boll ranks POSTAL as his personal, all-time favorite video game. "I see it like a mirror for our society -- funny, violent, absurd!" he declared. "So then the movie must be powerful, strange, and so full of the game's political incorrect outrageousness that if we do it correct, we will all probably end up in jail!"

Boll has already produced and directed a series of films inspired by videogames, including "Alone in the Dark", "House of the Dead", and the upcoming "Bloodrayne." Boll is currently on-location in Canada shooting the cinematic version of "Dungeon Siege."

The POSTAL saga extends back to 1997 when the original game was singled out by Sen. Joe Lieberman as the poster child for mindless violence in video games. This, in turn, led to it subsequently being blacklisted at retail outlets across America. Taking a no-holes barred approach the relentless crew at Running With Scissors has built the POSTAL series into a thriving licensing vehicle, from thongs and baby tees to coffee mugs and posters, while selling over a million units worldwide on PC.

In the decade since its original release, the POSTAL series has become a cult classic in America and a major success overseas in countries such as Japan and Russia. It was then followed by the even more successful sequel, POSTAL 2, as well as numerous add-on disks, including the multi-player Share the Pain and the recent Apocalypse Weekend.

POSTAL is scheduled to begin shooting in 2006 for a 2007 release, which will coincide with the 10th anniversary of the original game's debut. "Running With Scissors will be creatively involved in this film," Desi vowed, "from casting to the script."

For information on POSTAL products and gear, visit our site www.gopostal.com

Running With Scissors develops and publishes outrageous software just for the hell of it. Contact Vince Desi 520 907 1010, vince@gopostal.com or visit http://www.gopostal.com/

POSTAL™ and Running With Scissors are Trademarks and Service Marks of RWS, Inc.

renegade filmmaker = unsuccessful
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #41 on: October 24, 2005, 11:14:37 AM

Uwe Boll is terrible for postal. He doesn't even know what the word Satire means. Motherfuck. That assgoblin is even invading the independent developers. DAMNIT.
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #42 on: October 24, 2005, 11:25:56 AM

He had money to spend, I'm sure, since as he's fond of saying all his movies are profitable. PROFITABLE, I TELL YOU!

Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602

Rrava roves you rong time


Reply #43 on: October 24, 2005, 01:43:46 PM

I never played Postal.

Does it have characters?

Does it have story?

If not, then this might be the perfect film for Boll to make.

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024

I am the harbinger of your doom!


Reply #44 on: October 24, 2005, 02:00:11 PM

Quote
Running with Scissors (RWS), the world's most dangerous software company, has signed an appropriately apocalyptic deal with  Rofl Waffle renegade Rofl Waffle filmmaker Uwe Boll (http://www.boll-kg.de/) to bring the most controversial franchise in gaming history to the screen in all its blood-drenched, ironic glory.

I love the words that people come up with in order to convey "shitty".

-Rasix
Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324

sentient yeast infection


WWW
Reply #45 on: October 24, 2005, 02:07:40 PM

I never played Postal.

Does it have characters?

Does it have story?

If not, then this might be the perfect film for Boll to make.

I'd say it has more character and story than House of the Dead.  Not by much.

I'm just wondering if they've already signed Gary Coleman.  I can't imagine them making a Postal movie without him.
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
Reply #46 on: October 24, 2005, 06:16:44 PM

Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602

Rrava roves you rong time


Reply #47 on: October 25, 2005, 01:20:19 AM

Nice.  Renting whores owned by the Romanian Mafia as nudey extras.

If that's not class, I don't know what is.

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
AOFanboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 935


Reply #48 on: October 25, 2005, 10:55:47 AM

Uwe Boll is like a heterosexual Ed Wood with budgets. Hail the new master of schlock!

Current: Mario Kart DS, Nintendogs
stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818

has an iMac.


Reply #49 on: October 25, 2005, 11:11:46 AM

Ed was hetero too. He just liked wearing women's clothes.
AOFanboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 935


Reply #50 on: October 25, 2005, 02:18:14 PM

Ed was hetero too. He just liked wearing women's clothes.
Ah, sorry, my mistake.

Anyway, I am still stumped that Uwe Boll's movies are so popular despite every critic and game fan mauling them.

Current: Mario Kart DS, Nintendogs
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #51 on: October 25, 2005, 02:47:37 PM

Ed was hetero too. He just liked wearing women's clothes.
Ah, sorry, my mistake.

Anyway, I am still stumped that Uwe Boll's movies are so popular despite every critic and game fan mauling them.

And anyone else who has ever seen them.

Seriously, the man makes utter shit.

Arnold
Terracotta Army
Posts: 813


Reply #52 on: October 29, 2005, 01:38:35 AM

I shudder to think what kind of aborted fetus of a movie will come out of Dungeon Siege. I can imagine Jason Statham in full woad regala screaming as he charges down a hill to the soundtrack by Limp Bizkit with special guest vocal the dead Pantera singer's rotten lungs.

While his manner of drugged speaking seems to indicate he is a zombie, Phil Anselmo is still very much alive.  "Dimebag" Darrell Abbot is the dead member of Pantera.
Sairon
Terracotta Army
Posts: 866


Reply #53 on: November 04, 2005, 11:23:00 PM

If you're to belive imdb then he has found some really great actors for the dungeon siege movie, how it's possible I don't know. Jason Statham, one of my absolutely favorite actors is aparantly going to play the hero. Burt Reynolds is also featured as the king.
stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818

has an iMac.


Reply #54 on: November 04, 2005, 11:33:00 PM

You almost got my hopes up (and perplexity) when you mentioned Statham. Then I realized I was confusing him with David Strathairn.

Statham is perfect for it however.

Burt Reynolds as a king, eh?  undecided

I mean, really....Picture that guy with a crown on his head.
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
Reply #55 on: January 13, 2006, 11:56:56 AM

Quote from: AP
Director Uwe Boll Readies New Projects

By JEREMY HAINSWORTH, For The Associated Press Fri Jan 13, 10:09 AM ET

LOS ANGELES - With one keystroke, Uwe Boll accidentally deleted the only script for his upcoming film "Seed" from his computer.

But, he told The Associated Press, hes managed to recreate a third of the script so far — and is happier with the rewrite than the original.

With one movie in theaters, several upcoming projects and a simmering battle against Hollywood, the rebellious German director has a full plate these days.

"I hate Hollywood," Boll declared to the audience last week at the premiere of his vampire film "Bloodrayne."

Boll told The AP that the Hollywood system is corrupt, runs on fear of those with power and the struggle of others to get that power, and destroys anyone who refuses to play the game.

"A little controversy isn't the worst thing in Hollywood," said Billy Zane, whose Romar Entertainment (which he owns with James Schramm) financed the $60 million "Bloodrayne." Romar provides distribution and advertising while directors retain ownership of their films.

But the controversy may have been the worst thing for "Bloodrayne." It was supposed to open in 1,890 U.S. theaters last weekend, but instead made it to only about 800, bringing in $1.5 million at the box office instead of the hoped-for $10-$15 million.

Boll will try again with his next projects. The "super-horror" film "Seed" is due to go into production in Vancouver later this year.

"Theres a rule that if youre electrocuted three times and youre still alive ... you go free," Boll said. In "Seed," the main character is subject to a failed electrocution, and desperate officials bury him alive. "He digs himself out of the grave and goes on a revenge trip," Boll said.

Boll's "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" will hit theaters later this year. Like "Bloodrayne," it's based on a video game — as are Boll's upcoming "Far Cry" (2006) and "Postal" (2007).

"Dungeon Siege" follows the hard life of a lowly farmer, played by
Jason Statham, whos on a mission to save his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his child. The story line is woven into a fantasy backdrop of war in the Kingdom of Ehb between the evil sorcerer Gallian and the ruling King Konreid.

The film also stars Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, John Rhys-Davies, Burt Reynolds and Kristanna Loken.

"I think hes got huge determination," said Rhys-Davies, who played dwarf Gimli in the "Lord of the Rings" blockbuster. "He reminds me of another Hollywood rebel in his own way. I mean George Lucas."

So what have we learned? Billy Zane is responsible for giving Uwe Boll the money for the horseshit that is "Bloodrayne". Fuck you Billy Zane.
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #56 on: January 13, 2006, 12:02:33 PM

Billy Zane is stupid white trash. He should fund f13.
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #57 on: January 13, 2006, 12:18:40 PM

Billy Zane should fund a sequel to The Phantom. It'd be better than any drek Uwe Boll can produce.

Also, did John Rhys-Davies just say that Uwe Boll was as much of a clueless cuntmuffin as George Lucas? I think he did.

Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024

I am the harbinger of your doom!


Reply #58 on: January 13, 2006, 12:53:40 PM

Quote
"Theres a rule that if youre electrocuted three times and youre still alive ... you go free," Boll said. In "Seed," the main character is subject to a failed electrocution, and desperate officials bury him alive. "He digs himself out of the grave and goes on a revenge trip," Boll said.

 Rofl Waffle roflcopter Hello Kitty

I love this guy.  That plot sounds like something my 7 year old nephew would think up, only a lot less cerebral.

-Rasix
Simond
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6742


Reply #59 on: January 13, 2006, 04:31:36 PM

Has that German tax loophole closed yet, by the way?

"You're really a good person, aren't you? So, there's no path for you to take here. Go home. This isn't a place for someone like you."
Zetleft
Terracotta Army
Posts: 792


Reply #60 on: January 13, 2006, 05:41:56 PM

Has that German tax loophole closed yet, by the way?

Its very unclear but some good info on the tax law sham can be found on his Wiki Page.  Hard to say what will happen though cause I still see movies on the horizon for him :(

Looks like the law was already changed on Nov 11th.  Link
Rodent
Terracotta Army
Posts: 699


Reply #61 on: January 13, 2006, 07:04:33 PM

Seriously.

O RLY?

Well now that's out of the way, I sincerly hope Hideo Kojima hires a clan of ninjas to kill both the responsible parties at Konami aswell as Uwe Boll if he so much as mentions Metal Gear again.

Wiiiiii!
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #62 on: January 13, 2006, 09:49:02 PM

Uwe Boll touching Metal Gear would open a hole in the fabric of space time which even Vin Diesel could not repair.

Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602

Rrava roves you rong time


Reply #63 on: January 17, 2006, 10:09:25 AM

Uwe Boll touching Metal Gear would open a hole in the fabric of space time which even Vin Diesel could not repair.

Vin might not be able to repair it, but he could, if he wanted, open a hole twice as big.

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
Reply #64 on: January 17, 2006, 10:16:20 AM

All existence would wink out if Uwe Boll directs Vin Diesel in "Hitman".
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #65 on: January 17, 2006, 10:17:23 AM

It's bad enough you ruined my love of Jason Lee. Don't go where you're about to go.
Wolf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1248


Reply #66 on: January 17, 2006, 10:35:45 AM

I have a tradition with a friend. We gather at his place once a month or two and do a "lame movie night". Uwe Boll is featured frequently :)

As a matter of fact I swallowed one of these about two hours ago and the explanation is that it is, in fact, my hand.
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #67 on: January 17, 2006, 10:39:01 AM

Uwe Boll is featured frequently :)

If he was featured more than 4 times, there's a problem.
Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


WWW
Reply #68 on: January 17, 2006, 10:44:54 AM


I don't know what that means.  Which is probably good.

A television trailer for Bloodrayne gathered a "WTF" from my non-gaming wife and my gaming friend.

I used to think Zane was cool.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
Reply #69 on: January 17, 2006, 10:46:36 AM

I used to think Zane was cool.

Billy Zane used to be all kinds of cool. Maybe tonight I'll re-watch "Demon Knight" and pour out a 40oz for my dead-to-me homie.
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 Go Up Print 
f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Topic: All things Uwe Boll  
Jump to:  

Powered by SMF 1.1.10 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC